Friday, July 01, 2011
Just Shoot Me
I have been accused by some friends of writing what I think. Guilty as charged. Here I go again, I'm going to write exactly what I think after my experience dining out with some of my older gay friends tonight at the weekly Friday Night Dine Out Group. If this is too much reality for some of my blog readers, then I suggest you stop reading right here and go on to the next blog which I assume will be more vanilla. But if you stay with me, you have to know I'm going to write exactly what I think. Well, to an extent. I've found out lately that I do have to temper what I write because just about EVERYONE reads my blog, including some of my neighbors and friends of whom I do not want to offend or disrespect. So I walk the narrow line with writing exactly what I feel without stepping on too many toes. Unfortunately I've already stepped on a few toes that will no longer be back to my blog, but be that as it may. Can't do anything about that now.
So here is the point I want to make in this blog. As you all know I'm 69 years old. I don't think 69 years old. In my mind I'm still a young 37 years old. Thirty-seven years of age was when I was at my peak in looks, mental agility and earning power. Ever since then it's been a downhill slide. I know folks like Dr. Spo advise me not to speak of my age but it is what it is. This is the perspective I'm writing from, the prospective of an older gay man who is reaching the end of his life. My mental processes are slowing down as is my looks and earning power. As I said earlier, I'm on a downward slide.
I'm not complaining, just stating a fact. In fact, I think I'm doing pretty well for an Old Guy. I still turn an head occasionally, especially someone who finds an old skinny guy attractive. My mind is still capable of running a household and holding down a part-time job at a busy hotel. I still interact well with people both on a personal level and professional level. Granted, my physical stamina isn't what it used to be. I do need a nap (at least an hour or more) every afternoon or else I really wind down. When I'm tired I really show it. My eyes are half closed (I can't open them) and my brain just doesn't function the way it should. But if I get plenty of rest and try to keep the stress levels in my life low, I still manage quite well...for an Old Guy.
Now, having said this I want to relate the experience I had at the Friday Night Dine Out Group tonight. Sitting across the table from me were two older gentlemen who I hadn't met before. I don't know how old they were but I suppose in their late 70's or early 80's. Since we were sitting across from each other it was natural for us to have a conversation. That is one of the points of the Friday Night Dine Out Group, older gay men getting together once a week to meet and form new friendships. Friendships, not hookups. At our age hookups are a thing of the past. Friendships only, which can be just as rewarding if not more so.
So here I am tonight trying to have a conversation with these two older guys (who I assume are partners), and I'm having a difficult time. The one guy talks so hesitatingly and slow that I almost drifted off during our "conversation". In fact, he was so slow I forgot what we were talking about. Plus he was hard of hearing. I was worn out after our conversation. The other guy talked so low that I could hardly understand him. I had to keep asking him to repeat himself. All I could think of with these two guys was ....Dinosaurs.
I mean no disrespect to either of these two gentlemen and I am sure they're both fine fellows but please, PLEASE....if I ever get this way will someone PLEASE SHOOT ME!