Yesterday I posted a damning critique of a new show on HULU called "Mid Century Modern."
I wasn't going to post my critique but in the end felt compelled to because the show disgusts me so much for reinforcing negative gay stereotypes. Today I have to post what it's really like for two gay men "of a certain age" who visit Palm Springs. I have to get that bad taste out of my mouth after what I posted yesterday.
This video was the last time Pat and I visited Palm Springs right before the COVID pandemic swept through our country and world. Little did either one of us know it would be five years before we returned to Palm Springs this year. I don't know if I'll ever return to Palm Springs because of the cost and the stress of traveling by plane across the country. But if I do I can guarantee you that Pat and I and our friends that live in Palm Springs and other friends we meet who also take an annual holiday in Palm Springs (like Spo of "Spo Reflections"), we will again have a fabulous time as we always do. So much better than any of that nonsense that is portrayed in a New York Broadway TV show like "Mid Century Modern."
As regular followers of this blog know, last month I returned from a two week holiday in Palm Springs.
Pat and I have been taking annual holidays to Palm Springs during Modernism Week. This is an event in which Palm Springs celebrates the mid-century modern style of buildings and furniture during The Fifties (last century).
Every year in February since 2016 Pat and I have been making this annual visit to Palm Springs. Pat loves the mid-century modernism style. I do too. Except for a four year interruption due to COVID and the three years I was caregiving for Bill, Pat and I have made this visit every year.
This year we stayed with our friend Glenn who lives in nearby Cathedral City. Yes, we were three older gay men of a certain age living together.
Thus, imagine my happiness when I heard HULU has a new series starting tonight called "Mid-Century Modern" starring three older gay men living together in the same house in Palm Springs. This show was touted a "gay version of Golden Girls." The show is actually filmed in a sound studio in Burbank, California.
So I checked out the preview of this new series.
WHAT A DISAPPOINTMENT!
First, I am sick to death of this portrayal of gay men as two dimensional cartoons. Yes, I said it. A portrayal of gay men as (are you ready because I'm going to say the "F" word) FAGGOTS.
I did a little further checking and yes, it is directed by James Burrows of "Will and Grace." Yeah, "Will and Grace" was about as an accurate depiction of gay men and a certain section of the "gay lifestyle" THAT DOESN'T EXIST.
I remember what my cousin said when I told her I was gay and how shocked she was with the information. Then she tried to show me she was "all right" with my revelation by saying "Oh, I watch 'Will and Grace." I told her I didn't watch "Will and Grace" because it was a cartoon version of how gays live. Oh I suppose SOME gays live like that but not in my experience. Real gays live a much more interesting life than the New York Broadway version.
I did a little further research by checking clips from future episodes of "Mid-Century Modern" and was even more disgusted. Yes, there was Richard Kind, the standard goofy New York/Broadway based actor who plays the same goofy role.
Richard Kind
Richard Kind plays Richard Kind. Another episode showed Judd Hirsch. Oh God! Is he still alive? Judd "I am the greatest Broadway actor ever!"Hirsch.
Judd Hirsch
And of course there is Nathan Lane playing the lead role. Nathan is funny at times but let's face it folks, Nathan Lane plays Nathan Lane. That's his shtick. That gets tiresome very fast. Nathan Lane, facing the camera, shouting his one-liners like he's in a Broadway theater facing the audience.
Nathan Lane, "Mr. Broadway"
So Broadway.
The other two other housemates are Matt Boomer, a younger gay man who plays the hottie. His role is as an airline steward who is always looking for sex. More gay stereotypes. Then if course us the now de rigor black actor that is in ALL series and movies these days of political correctness. I never heard of this actor, his name is Nathan Lee Graham.
Nathan Lee Graham (on the right). What? Laverne Cox wasn't available?
I'm sure he's a fine actor but from what I can see of the previews he looks like Ru Paul out of drag. And I'm sure he's the smartest gay in the series, of course.
Folks, I have some expertise in this area. I am a gay man of a "certain age." I just returned last month from sharing a beautiful Palm Springs area house with two other gay men of a "certain age." And I'm here to tell you our lives are vastly more interesting than this two dimensional gay cartoon depiction that is being foisted on us by the New York Broadway types like James Burrows as what life is like of three older gay men sharing a house in Palm Springs. I was even going to watch just to see the Palm Springs scenes but the show isn't even filmed in Palm Springs. It's filmed on a Burbank California sound stage. More fakery.
This show, to me as a gay man who knows how real life is with two other older gay men who shared a house in Palm Springs, is the equivalent of having a series of blackface minstrel show.
How's that New York/Broadway living in your gay bubble James Burrows?
This show is nothing more than a quick buck to be made on the backs of regular gays reinforcing the show business gay stereotypes. We really haven't progressed much from the flitty Franklin Pangborne
stereotype of a gay man from the Thirties films have we?
A lot has changed in my lifetime (all eighty-three years) of how gay people are viewed by the entertainment and media but one thing that hasn't changed is the depiction of real gay people who lead real lives, especially older gay men.
This picture was taken February 17, 2025 in Palm Springs during me and Pat's visit to our friend Glenn's home in Palm Springs (Cathedral City, only a few miles from Palm Springs actually.)
This picture was taken at a restaurant where we were having dinner. Yes, we're "older gay men". I'm eighty-three years old, Pat is seventy-seven and Glenn is sixty-nine years old. I can guarantee you that our stories are MUCH MORE INTERESTING than a bunch of tired old Broadway actors spouting stereotypical gay laugh lines.
Me, Pat and Glenn at Jimmy's Restaurant in Palm Springs, California February 17th, 2025
Here's an idea James Burrows, do a series with me, Pat and Glenn. It's not hard, oh wait maybe it is. Here's my suggestion, start the series with the way we're living now. Both Glenn and I recently lost our longtime partners and Pat is from Canada, and is now my fiancé. Glenn is still looking but settled into his life as a single guy who lives with his cat Sadie. All three of us have at plenty of stories of the present time and in addition, we have a fabulous history in which you could do flashbacks. Now, THAT would be an interesting and REALISTIC depiction of what life is REALLY LIKE today in Palm Springs of three older gay men. And you could even tie our stories in a really funny guy, Bruce Vilanch.
One year, as Pat and I were waiting for our flight at the Palm Springs airport I saw Bruce sitting by himself waiting for his flight. I went over and introduced myself and asked why I don't see him on TV anymore. Bruce, the funny guy that he is, says "Me too! Talk to my agent!"
Message to James Burrows and or HULA or even Netflix (if you ever decide to do a REAL series about older gay men), I'm available for consultation for this series. I don't have an agent yet, but I can get one.
Glenn, Me and Pat at The Reef Restaurant, Palm Springs, CA February 19, 2025
Wednesday I had a CAT-SCAN taken of my left ear. I haven't received the results of that CAT-SCAN but I do now have my hearing back which is wonderful!
By the way, the picture at the beginning of this post was taken of Wagamon Pond in Milton, near the facility where I had my CAT-SCAN. As you probably know, I'm always on the lookout for an iconic scene. This one was perfect although the two people on the boat kept moving about. There was actually a better scene but by the time I parked my car and hobbled up to the road to take this picture, they had relocated to a different part of the pond.
This photo was taken in the early morning light which is always the best time to take photos. Second best time is late afternoon. Worst time is high noon.
Folks, I present to you this year's (2025) annual Daffodil Tour at Casa Tipton-Kelly.
I took this video early this morning in the clear morning like of a chilly spring day here in southern coastal Delaware.
Most but not all of my daffodils I have planted over the past nineteen years are now in bloom.
Most of my daffodils are of the tete-a-tete miniature variety. I have a few clumps of bigger daffodils like Mount Hood and King Alfred but most are of this small variety. I will have to change that in the coming year to balance out my annual daffodil display.
Each year I add to my daffodil collection. Over the years I've also added a lot of tulips but not so much the past several years. Tulips tend to fade out in succeeding years but daffodils only grow in profusion. I prefer daffodils although I do like tulips too for color.
I hope you enjoy the show as much as I do.
Each year when my daffodils come into bloom I always remember what someone said many years ago during one of their magnificent daffodils displays:
Check out this asshole, Howard Lutnick, Trump's Commerce Secretary.
Talk about somebody who has his head so far up his ass he has no idea of how offensive and out of touch he is with real people.
Lutnick, who is so pleased with himself that he's now in Trump's corrupt government administration, states that if his 94 year old mother-in-law missed her monthly Social Security payment, she wouldn't call Social Security. She wouldn't call and complain she would just assume "something got messed up" and she would get her Social Security check next month.
This jerk off has NO IDEA of how many people NEED their monthly Social Security check.
Not the casualness with which Lutnick dispenses his pear of wisdom that "anyone who complains about not getting their Social Security check the one who complains would be the fraudster.
You know why he knows this? Because he KNOWS fraudsters. I get you do Howard.
Photo taken December 22, 2010. I was showing off my hair cut. I just got another one this morning. Still looking good folks! I have the best barber. She fixed up hat chop job I had done by a barber in Palm Springs last month.
Anyone out there have a good left ear? Mine is still screwed up.
Even since I arrived back to Delaware from California by way of the Dallas-Fort Worth airport last month, my left ear has been plugged up. I feel like I'm talking underwater. Very annoying to say the least.
To bring you up to date, tomorrow at 9 AM I have an appointment with my regular audiologist (the one the VA pays for) for an updated hearing aid test. They will fax the results to my ENT doctor. I wasn't sure about getting a hearing aid test at the ENT place, who would pay for it? My Medicare supplemental plan? The VA? For the VA to pay the place has to be authorized by the VA and they have to make the appointment. This is a lot less complicated and they will cover the cost. I need all the savings I can get now that I'm flying solo since Bill's modest Social Security monthly payment isn't part of the monthly funding of Casa Tipton-Kelly. I'm also not working so I'm back to the Days of Yesteryear where I have to be very careful about my expenditures. For most of my life I've had to be very careful except for a brief few year period, but now I'm back to being very careful. I'm not complaining though, just facing my new reality. One thing I do have in abundance though for which I will be forever grateful is love.
All those years I was with Bill and now with Pat.
By the way, the latest update on Pat, if I haven't already told you, is that the next step on his K-1 VISA approval has passed. Now he awaits to hear from the American Consulate in Montreal for his interview. Once he "passes" that interview, we have ninety days to get married. I was sinking in the morass of pity feeling sorry for myself because I hadn't heard anything for a while and now with Trump making Canada out enemy and Musk chain sawing government workers I was worried that Pat and I would get caught up in that mess. Hopefully not and all things continue to move forward. What a time we're living in, huh folks?
I gave away my garden cart today to a very nice neighbor. Little by little I'm downsizing. Later on this spring I will call Got Junk to do a major haul of things I don't need and can't even give away.
This is a photograph of me that Bill took of me at his apartment in Pennsauken New Jersey. The year was 1964. I had just met Bill in July.
I used to spend my weekends with him at his apartment, which was much nicer than my two room efficiency apartment in Coatesville, Pennsylvania.
I came across this picture while I was scrolling through my thousands of photos and videos I have on my iMac. Just think, all of these photos and videos will disappear once I am gone from the scene.
Another time, another place. I was another person too at that time.
Yesterday morning I had my ENT (Ear, Nose and Throat) visit to the doctor. I actually saw a PA (Physician's Assistant) but I got an answer to my ear problem as well as my on going phlegm situation in my throat that I've been having the past several years.
For my ear problem, she's scheduling a CAT-SCAN to make sure that there isn't "something else" going in with that dried blood behind my left ear drum. Yes, I still have plugged up "underwater" hearing in that ear. She's also ordered a series of drugs that I have to start taking. I'm turning into a regular pharmaceutical warehouse. There was some confusion as to where the drugs will be coming from. I think I got it straightened out that I get my drugs from the VA in Dover, not the local Walgreen's which charges an arm and a leg for drugs. I have my personal health insurance but I use the VA for my drugs. Always confusion when those two worlds collide. The medical establishment is getting better at navigating this area although it's taken too long.
The problem with my phlegm (constant clearing of my throat) is Laryngopharyngeal Refux. Talk about a mouthful. Look up LPR but it basically is the backward movement of my stomach enzymes and acid in my lower throat region. Now I'm know I'm putting you all to sleep with this so I'll wrap this up right now. The bottom line is that I'm finally doing something about my failing body, or at least slowing down the deterioration. At least I don't have the problems Bill had with his swallowing.
So how is everything else going in your life Ron?
Now my concern is do I keep my riding mower. How's that for a change of subject?
Seriously though, mowing my own grass is getting to be a real chore, especially maintenance of my John Deere Riding Mower. The oil needs changed and this is something I can't or want to do. I can't find anyone in this area of Slower Lower Delaware to perform this maintenance on my mower. The guy who used to do it retired. There are no replacements. I'm screwed. I'm done with mowing anyway. Last year I couldn't do it in the really hot and humidity of mid summer. I had to pay $60 a week to have my local landscaper Jose mow my lawn. He did a good job at a reasonable price, still $60 a week is an expense I don't really want to have now that I'm not working at the hotel or have Bill's Social Security income contributing towards the household expenses.
Say something nice Ron.
I really can't because my overall concern now is how Trump and his minions including that immigrant bastard from South Africa are destroying out government and reputation around the world. We're fighting Canada? Why? Speaking of which, my marriage to Pat has been indefinitely delayed because the American Embassy in Toronto has yet to interview Pat for the final step of him getting his K1-VISA approval for us to get married. This was the last step. My application was approved before I left for California. I got a notice that it would be "two to four weeks" until the American Embassy would interview Pat. It's been six weeks so far. The South Immigrant Bastard probably had Rubio fire all the embassy staff in Canada. Lovely times we are living in huh? Never in a million years would I believed that I would be so ashamed of the country I live in.
Dallas-Fort Worth Airport February 2025 - where my ear injury probably occurred
Ever since I returned from my trip to California my left ear had been plugged up.
Whenever I talk I feel like I'm talking underwater.
This usually happens when I fly in a plane, pressurized or not. It's especially bad when I've flown in an unpressurized plane.
Usually this condition clears itself up in a day or two. Not this time though folks. My left ear is still clogged up.
Two days ago I saw my audiologist. She took one look in my ear and said "Something is going on in there." Turns out I have dried blood in my ear canal, next to my brain.
She advised me to go to the Urgent Care Unit, which I did. They agreed that I "have a problem" and advised me to see an ear, nose and throat specialist.
Easier said than done.
The earliest the ear, nose and throat specialist could see me was NEXT FEBRUARY! Yes folks, February of 2026!
Well, obviously that isn't acceptable.
I made some calls around and got lucky. Really lucky! The other ENT doctors also had long wait times but the one nearest me, which is the one I wanted anyway, just had a cancellation THIS FRIDAY!
Tomorrow at this time I will be at that office and hopefully get this ear problem fixed.
I'm hoping the doctor can flush out the dried blood. One thing is for sure, I'm not taking any more flights.
I had trouble with this latest plane trip because of my mobility problems but now with damage to my ear, never again.
I'm slowly fading away folks. It's all right though, one day closer to being with Bill again.
This is where Pat and I stayed during our second week in Palm Springs.
It was unit 326 in the Ocotillo Lodge complex, a complex of former motel units one by the old time cowboy star Gene Autry. These units are now condos selling for about $500,000 each.
I thought Pat and I would be married by now (it's taking quite awhile for Pat's K-1 VISA approval, probably more now that Trump and Musk are in the process of destroying all of our government services), and this was to be our honeymoon suite. As it turned out though, Pat loved this unit. We looked at another that was for sale ($525,000) that was slightly bigger (590 square feet compared to the 525 square feet of this unit) that Pat loved even more.
One day, if and when we finally do get married (that is if our corrupt Supreme Court doesn't find a way to nullify same sex marriages and now that Trump has made enemy out of our good neighbor Canada), Pat will buy one of these condos. We will then be a Two Home Family. A home in Palm Springs (always both of ours dream) and a home here in southern coastal Delaware where we would live during the really brutal heat of summertime Palm Springs.
We can dream but hey, so far my dreams have come true. I have this beautiful home here in southern Delaware and I have Pat. The only "fly" in the ointment is Trump and Musk trying to destroy our country. And they're working hard at it aren't they? My question is why? Is it all about giving more money to the super wealthy? Don't they have enough already?
How anybody could have voted for Trump is truly beyond my comprehension. Trump is such an obvious crook. Something I will never understand, how otherwise competent thoughtful people could vote for such chaos. One of the great mysteries of our times I guess.
I don't plan to leave my home here in Delaware but if, for health reasons I do have to leave, this is where I will go. A much better choice than any assisted living facility.
Yes, I still have my cold (flu). I'm feeling much better but my sinuses are still clogged and I can't hear out of my left ear. In spite of that, I went shopping today for ingredients to make a fresh batch of hamburger cabbage soup. My neighbor shared some of his hankerer cabbage soup with me earlier in the week and I wanted to return the favor. Every time we make this soup, it's different. Always good though!
I'm baking a mashed potato string bean French Onion casserole now. Yesterday, at BJ's, I bought a bag of Portuguese rolls. I'm not big on rolls but I do love Portuguese rolls which I developed a taste for when I used to visit Provincetown in the Seventies.
The Trump Chaos continues, which is depressing me. Trump and his fucking tariffs, creating havoc in the stock market. The stock market hates uncertainty and this is what Trump is doing with his on again, off again tariffs. What the fuck is the matter with Trump anyway? Chaos all the time. This is what the majority of Americans voted for. Next up Social Security. Fuck with Americans Social Security you fuckface and they you'll know what a real problem is.
My apologies for the F-word but that what Trump brings out in me. Him and his enablers, the cowardly Republicans and the brainwashed Fox News Propaganda Viewers who believe anything this idiot says.
The weather here continues to be cold and windy. I think if Pat and I ever get our living arrangements straightened out he'll have a place in Palm Springs and I'll continue to have Casa Tipton-Kelly here.
We'll spend two to three months in Palm Springs and the rest of the year we will live here in southern coastal Delaware. That's a goal that just might be obtainable. Stay tuned.
Dinnertime.
Oh, the video at the beginning of this blog post is of Pat, Glenn and I sharing a bottle of champagne that our hostess left for Pat and me in the refrigerator of the Modernism Unit where we were staying in Palm Springs. Pat absolutely fell in love with that unit. He looked at another unit in that development and liked it even better. That one was for sale. Maybe if we get lucky (win the lottery), Pat can buy that one. I'll post pictures of that unit in a future blog post.
Pat and Glenn relaxing by Glenn's pool in Cathedral City, California February 17, 2025
Thank God Almighty I think I will actually survive my cold!
I woke up this morning and felt almost normal.
This past week has been one helluva journey!
I have never had an illness like this before.
No sore throat or fever that I could detect but I was terribly congested.
Almost no energy, could barely move.
I have a lot of my energy back now!
Oh this feels good. Now I can begin living again.
I have to admit that for a day or two this past week I just wanted to die. I had enough of this illness, the latest Chinese virus (which I absolutely believe)!
I'm still sick but not as sick now as I was earlier in the week.
I may have COVID but I decided not to test. I may test in the future just out of curiosity but I'm just too exhausted now to figure it out. I still have those free self home tests that the government sent to us a few years ago.
This is the sickest I've been in at least fifteen years.
I've always prided myself on always sanitizing my hands before I grab a grocery cart during my many trips to my local supermarket. I think that precaution has kept me from contacting the virus that causes the flu.
I noticed during my stay in California, the stores did not have sanitizing machines outside the supermarkets. And of course I had a lot of interaction with other people, way more than I have here at Casa Tipton-Kelly. I may have contacted the virus there. The Wednesday before I left California I was so sick that I stayed in all day and slept. I thought I was over it the next day.
However, on my flight from Dallas-Fort Worth airport, I was seated in the middle section of one of those jumbo jets (first time for me). The guy across the row from my coughed openly (didn't use his hand to cover his pie hole) the whole four hour trip back to Philadelphia. That's probably where I contacted the flu virus.
The last time I had a cold this bad I caught on my commuter train from Downingtown to Philadelphia way back in the early nineties. A guy behind me sneezed openly on me. I felt the shower spray of his sneeze on the back of my neck. I got so sick that time I just wanted to die. That's the way I felt this week folks. I had forgotten how bad having the flu makes you feel.
I ached all over.
I had no energy.
I had no appetite.
Funny thing about the appetite, seems no matter how much weight I lose (I lost about six pounds), nothing touches that spare tire around my waist. I could be skin and bones and that inter tube of fat stays. It is indestructible.
I've been so sick I haven't even updated my journal.
Hopefully this coming week I can return to my normal routine and share more of my experience of my two week holiday in California.
