Twelve Years Ago today June 2014

 

Twelve years ago today, my late husband Bill Kelly visited our nearby town of Milton, Delaware.

This video popped up on my feed this morning and I want to share it with you.

I am so thankful that I have these video memories of my special time with Bill, fifty-nine and half years. We almost made it to sixty until he died two and a half years ago in February of 2014.

There is not a day that goes by that I don't think and miss Bill terribly. I was truly blessed to have him in my life. Without him in my life I'm only a half person that I was. Oh for sure, I love Pat but with Bill, he was and is my soulmate.

The day will come when we are rejoined together for eternity in Heaven. I look forward to that day.

Dance With Abandon

 

This is a short video I took of Hunters, a gay dance bar in Palm Springs, California during my visit February 16, 2019.

We were all dancing with abandon, not realizing our world was about to change with COVID just around the corner.

When I returned home, Bill, my husband of fifty-nine year, had two strokes. For the next three years I was his full-time caregiver until he died in February of 2024.

Last year I visited Palm Springs again with Pat but didn't go to Hunters because I had a lot on my mind. I considered my visit to Palm Springs the last time in this life. I've changed my mind though. Since I found out that my prostate cancer has not spread, I think I'll visit Palm Springs again this February. I'll have to check the finances to see if I can swing it. I'm getting to the end of this lifetime. I would like to have at least one more party. Too much is going on in the world now and I need some happy times. 

Philadelphia Skyline June 2026

 

Last week while Pat and I were visiting our longtime friend Don McK. in Philadelphia, I took this short video of Pat and Don on the roof of the building where he lives at 21st and Chestnut Streets in Center City Philadelphia. 

Checkout that skyline. I think Philly has the best skyline of any city in the United States.

I thought our visit to Don would be my last visit. He's eighty nine years old and I was under the assumption that my prostate cancer had spread and I would be long for this world. Now with the positive results of my PET-SCAN this week, I'm making plans to visit Don again. Pat will be down this fall and that's when we'll be up on Don's roof again with that fabulous view of Philadelphia's skyline. 

Good News!

GOOD NEWS! I just received the results of my PET-SCAN that I took today. Here is the specific wording: "No evidence of metastatic disease or adenopathy". Then the report goes into more detail but there is no evidence of prostate cancer. The only negative, which I expected, "The heart if enlarged. There are extensive atherosclerotic coronary artery calcifications" I knew I had this condition. But the really good news is that your prayers worked. 

I DON'T HAVE PROSTATE CANCER!

PET-SCAN Today

 

Me, Milton Delaware June 29, 2014. Shortly after I received my first treatment for my prostate cancer. This time I'm not seeking treatment. I'm ready to rejoin Bill in Heaven. No more medical procedures for this 84 year old.

Today at 1:15 PM I get my PET-SCAN.

My urologist suggested that I get this six months ago to see if and how far my returning prostate cancer has spread. 

It has been frustrating getting this appointment. The local hospital has changed my appointment three times. My original appointment was when Pat was here. Then they changed it to July 2nd. I called and complained that I didn't want to travel down tourist ladened Route One so close to the Fourth of July. In the past Route One has been a parking lot. Pat and I already experienced that parking lot traffic jam last week. I've had medical appointments in the summer tourist season before and been late for them. Each year the traffic gets worse. This year so far has already proved that. I'm nervous enough about getting another IV poked in my arm and being in a tube for an extended length of time then sitting around for about two hours. I don't need the added stress of being stuck in a typical summertime Rehoboth Beach Route One (Coastal Highway) parking lot.

I've already made the decision not to seek further treatment for my prostate cancer even though my doctor seems anxious to begin that process. I'm done with treatments, especially the side effects. 

I'm old enough now (84) to call it quits on this life. I've had a wonderful life and I certainly don't want to spend whatever time I have left like my brother John, friend Rich, friend Larry and many others struggling through each day dealing with the side effects of their treatments. And I certainly don't want to be dependent on anyone to take care of me. Be it Pat or some other person who I have to pay. I choose to spend my remaining days as I am now, independent and able to take care of myself. When that is no longer viable then I will take advantage of Delaware's right to die law, which became effective this year. 

That's it for now. 

Have a great day!

I Love Mexican Food!

 

While Pat was down here the last couple of weeks, we explore new restaurants in the area. We found a new favorite Mexican restaurant. It is called Sol Azeteca and it is located in Georgetown, Delaware.

Georgetown is the county seat of Sussex County Delaware. Pat and I were married in Georgetown last November. Bill and I were also married in Georgetown in July of 2013.

Georgetown is heavily Hispanic thus the profusion of Mexican restaurants. I do love me some Mexican food. Not too hot but just on the spicy side. I especially liked their frozen lime Margaritas. And even better, they only cost $8. Other restaurants charge $13 and they aren't even as big as the Margaritas I get at Sol Azeteca. 

Pat, the vegan that he is, ordered the grilled veggies. Oh they smelled so good. I may order them the next time. We ate at Sol Azeteca three times. All three times I ordered the same entree, Chile Rellenos.

A vegan dish which tastes vaguely reminiscent of Eggplant Parmesan. The main ingredient is a big Chile pepper (not hot). Has a stem which I don't eat. It's enough for two and occasionally three meals which I have done. 

Before Bill died, Pat and I used to get together four times a year for trips. Now that I can no longer travel and my household income is cut in half, our "holidays" are here at Casa Tipton-Kelly. I save on transportation and housing accommodations but we continue to eat out almost every night. I love it. 

Have a great day everyone!

Pat's Gone

 

Pat leaving for his home in Hamilton, Ontario Canada early this morning

Pat left very early this morning.

Really early.

He was planning on leaving at 3:30 AM but when he got up for a bathroom visit at 2:30 AM he couldn't get back to sleep. I also happened to get up at the same time. Oh, by the way, we do sleep in separate bedrooms. 

As in his past visits, our time together went by so fast. Too fast.

We did so much during his visit. One big accomplishment is that Pat replaced all my smoke detectors which were ten years over their expiration date. What a relief that is going to be not to hear those "chirping" sounds at random times during the day and night.

We did so much else during his visit. Two days in Philadelphia visiting our friend Don McK. 

Also, Pat took me to several of my doctors' appointments which was a big help for me. However, we did miss the Big One which was my PET-SCAN. That one has been rescheduled for next week (June 24th). 

During Pat's visit, we ate out almost every night. We didn't plan to do that but I'm finding we default to our past get togethers when we traveled to California, Canada and Philadelphia. I never eat out otherwise so this is a treat for me. Most of our dine outs were at local Mexican restaurants and a couple new ones. I'll write about all these in future posts.

Right now I'm feeling lonely again. I'll be so glad when Pat can move down here permanently and we can spend all of our time together. Of course we'll have to change our eating habits though. Can't afford to eat out every night!

More later.

Have a great day!

Philadelphia Visit

 

Pat, Don and me in Center City Philadelphia a couple days ago.

The last two days we visited our friend Don at his home in center city Philadelphia.

We had a wonderful visit.

The weather was perfect. Cool, sunny and breezy.

I had difficulty in walking around so this was definitely my last visit to Philadelphia. I just don't have the strength any more like I used to in my glory days when I was young, beautiful and charming. Those days are history. Now I'm just a bumbling old man struggling to walk and not fall.

Pat has been and continues to be a wonderful caregiver for me. 

He has accompanied me to all my doctors' visits for the past two weeks. Unfortunately my PET-SCAN has been rescheduled again (the third time) for next week. Pat leaves early this Saturday morning. I'll have to endure that stress solo. What a nightmare it's been preregistering but I don't bore you all with the details only to say, I wish the people you talk to on the phone had English as their first language.

Getting ready to go out to dinner tonight again. Perhaps non Mexican this time but I have been imbibing quite a bit on frozen Margaritas. 

He's Here!

 

Pat and I having breakfast at the nearby town of Dewey Beach, DE. I had to check out their famous Orange Crush drinks. DE-LICIOUS!

Pat's here!

He arrived last Sunday. 

We've been very busy since then which I will write about more in detail after he leaves next week.

Yes, he's here for two weeks.

Tomorrow we drive up to Philly (2 1/2 hour drive) to visit our friend Don McK. We'll be there two days then back here.

As always his visits are so short. Hopefully, one day while I'm still alive and able to move around, he will move down here to Casa Tipton-Kelly permanently. Hopefully this time next year he will be here full time.

Have a great day everyone! 

Pat's Visit

 

Pat's previous Fiat at his home in Canada. He has a different Fiat now, a green one.

As I type this entry Pat is in upstate Pennsylvania, just over the border from Binghamton New York approaching Scranton Pennsylvania.

Pat's current Fiat when he last visited here in March. 

He left his home in Hamilton, Ontario, Canada at about 3:30 AM this morning. 

This time he's taking the main (toll) roads. Remember the last time he took the non toll roads which caused him to get stuck in a snowstorm. He also damaged his undercarriage by riding over something, which he never did figure out what it was. Probably some piece of errant metal under the snow. That repair job cost him $600.

This morning he has already run into two problems. The firsts one he was pulled over by a police car. Pat had earlier passed that police car who had pulled another driver over to the side of the road for speeding. Apparently when Pat passed both of them, he didn't pull far enough over into the passing lane. The policeman didn't give him a ticket but did give him a warning. Then later on down the road Pat ran over road kill that got stuck up in his undercarriage. He said "water was leaking." So far he's been able to continue his journey, no "Check Engine Light" has come on but part of the road kill is still stuck in his undercarriage. Pat has one of those little Fiat cars. This week Pat will take his car to my mechanic to check out his car to see if there is any damage. Hopefully he doesn't have another $600 bill. It's expensive visiting me.

Pat estimated arrival time is sometime after 2:00 PM this afternoon. Now the time is 10:45 PM. 

I am so looking forward to being with Pat again and having someone in the house besides just me and the strange noises that I hear go "bump" into the night. Pat does have his own bedroom but sometimes we watch a movie in the Tipton Cinema which is in my bedroom. I usually fall asleep. And now we have the Flynn Cinema which is in my finished basement living room. That the home movie theater we had put in during his last visit. Surround sound, big woofers, and 77 inch TV screen. We saw "Frankenstein" on it. We've only seen one other movie. I don't even watch movies in my bedroom anymore because I fall asleep. I'm wondering if I wasted my money having that home theater set up in the basement. Doesn't matter in the end, what's $3,500. I lost more than that in my E*Trade account ($4,300) yesterday. At least the home movie theater is there for us to watch. Ironically we will see a movie at the movie theater while he's down here. Pat likes to go to movie theaters to watch movies while I prefer to watch them at home. We'll see "Michael" while he's here, probably tonight or tomorrow night. Pat likes the whole "popcorn" experience of the movie theater. I wouldn't go by myself but I will with Pat. I'm happy if Pat is happy.

Me and Pat in Lewes during his last visit in March

Summertime 2026 Updates

 

Summer is upon us.

Pat will be down this Sunday for a couple weeks. He's my driver to my multitude of doctor's appointments in the next two weeks. 

Pat is a big help. I'm not that comfortable driving anymore, especially in this Rehoboth Beach/Lewes Delaware summertime traffic, which becomes heavier and more dense each year. It's already started. If I have to go out, I go out early in the morning before the hordes descend upon Route One (Coastal Highway) to their beach destinations Rehoboth Beach and beyond. 

One of my doctor's appointments is to get a PET-SCAN to see how far my returning prostate cancer has spread. I'm pretty sure I'm in the same boat that former president Biden is in, the cancer has spread to my bones. I'm in pain almost every waking hour. Not excruciating pain (yet) but it's just hard for me to move around. Some of that may be my arthritis. I'm good in the morning but as the day progresses the pain becomes so much that I have to lie down, sometimes taking an Advil. I try to avoid getting in the habit though of taking Advil every day though, just if the pain is too much. Thank goodness lying down on my back alleviates the pain. 

These days I'm taking two naps. One in the morning around 10:30 AM and the other in the afternoon around 3:30 PM until 6:00 PM. Yes, my naps are that long. I usually go to bed about 11 PM but I wind down much earlier. I do get up early in the morning though, around 5:30 AM up until 7 AM. I never have been one of those late sleepers. Pat is. He's a late sleeper. I think I got out of that habit when I was a teenager and missed my school bus ride once. I made a vow then to never sleep late although I did miss my class trip to New York City because I over slept. That's something I've regretted my whole life, missing that trip.

Back to my PET-SCAN. Earlier this week I received an e-mail from Beebe (the hospital) to check in early on my computer. I took the half hour or so to check in early including entering all my medications and a lot of other unnecessary information only to get down to the "SUBMIT" button, which when I hit "ENTER" it said my appointment was CANCELLED! What? I just spent all that time on my computer with AI checking in and they cancel my appointment? Sure! So I called, and called, and called. These days they have automated assistants to answer the phones, otherwise know as AI. Well, not to bore you but I spent half my morning trying to get through to the hospital only to find they had changed my appointment to July 2nd! July 2nd? This is the height of the summertime traffic, Fourth of July weekend and to top everything else off, Pat wouldn't be here to take me to my appointment. Also I would have to change my appointment with my urologist because this is when I was going to inform him that I'm not seeking further treatment for my prostate cancer. I had planned all this discussion for when Pat was here. All that was out the window now because obviously someone more important than me has bumped my appointment. By the way, this is the second time my appointment has been changed. 

I plunged in again and tried to call Beebe and explain to them that my husband lives in Canada and he would be down here for two weeks in June and I would like him to be with me when I get my PET-SCAN and discuss my end of life decision with my urologist. I finally got through and of course they said they couldn't change it. I was frustrated and I replied "I'll be glad to get out of this world because of situations like this." That must have had an effect because about an hour later they called back and gave me an option for an earlier appointment. Still not a date when Pat would be here but at least I wouldn't be sitting in the parking lot that is Route One on Fourth of July weekend. 

In the meantime I'm living my best life I can every day. When Pat is down we'll try a few new restaurants but we won't be eating out as much because of the dramatically increased prices in restaurants.  I don't know why those prices are up so much because they certainly don't pay their help $15  an hour like they pay in Royal Farms or other minimum wage service jobs. My last job as a hotel front desk clerk, for which I had over twenty years experience and even won a trip to Disney World as Best Guest Service Award (2000, when I worked at the Hampton Inn in Pennsylvania), I never made more than $12 an hour. Started at $9 and hour and gradually with .25 cent increases worked up to $12 an hour. Yes Virginia, that is a true story. I have specialized in low paying jobs my whole adult career. Even when working for the banks I never made more than $37,500 even though my contemporaries were making $50,000 to $80,000 a year. However I contribute that to the fact I was always an out gay person which is why I never had an officer title like Assistant Vice President. But Bill and I made our lives work even though he took early retirement at 55 years of age and I was the sole breadwinner in our family for the next seven years until he could start collecting his Social Security early. The only way we were able to manage this was my insistence on buying our first home early and get out of the rental trap, which we did. Back then (1980) the real estate industry didn't base prices on two income families which is what we were. Of course now they do. I don't know how young couples can buy homes now unless both of them work. Well, not my problem now in this lifetime. That's for them to work out.

Say, have you noticed? I'm on a ramble here? I haven't been posting too much (and I won't in the future) but every now and then I just feel like talking. That's why I blog. Therapy and maybe, just maybe to help others who read this blog not to make the same mistakes I made in life this lifetime. Yes, I absolutely believe we live many lives. Our purpose in life is to learn and to love. I have accomplished both of those goals and now I am ready to comfortably coast out.

This past week I've been studying the exact details how and when one does the medically assisted suicide thing. Interesting. Also interesting reading the stories of those who have done it. They have all felt the same way I do, they have witnessed prolonged painful and degrading deaths of their loved ones and were thankful they could choose to go out in relative comfort and at a place of their choosing and with their dignity intact. That's my goal folks. And once I get this PET-SCAN complete (I'll believe it when it happens) and have the discussion with my urologist about my plans (I need his permission, I already have my primary care doctor's permission), I can concentrate on living and appreciating each day I have left. Remember folks, all of us are going to die someday. No body gets out of this life alive. But some of us fortunately live in states that choose to treat their human beings as well as they treat their pets when they're dying. I am one of those lucky people.

There, that's my rant for the day.

That Time Of Year

 

Receive my four cubic yards of mulch this morning. 

Total cost $156. Delivery free because I ordered the minimum order for mulch.

In the twenty years since I lived here in southern Delaware I estimate I've had hundreds of cubic yards of mulch. Where does it all go? Oh well, it smells good and makes my flower beds look neat and keeps the moisture in so the flowers can thrive.

I'm going to try and get rid of all this mulch by the time Pat arrives next Sunday. I have a place for him to part his cute little Fiat in my garage but he likes to park outside. 

I love laying mulch. It's the kind of exercise I like. I can't do it all in one day, especially on hot and humid days but I do like the exercise and being outside in the fresh air.

Another good day here at Casa Tipton-Kelly.

Happy Pride Month!