Donkey Man

One of my unfilled goals is to have a donkey as a pet. I don't know why, but I've always been intrigued by donkeys. 

Maybe I was a donkey in one of my previous lives. Whenever I see a donkey either in person or on video or film, I feel an affinity with these beasts of burden.

One of the truly awful things that have been done to donkeys is a "custom" in one of those cruel European countries (probably Spain) that see how many people can sit on an old donkey's back before the poor creature collapses beneath their weight. I hope that "custom" is no longer practiced in these days of enlightenment of humans past cruel to animals.

Last week I made a visit to Sandy Hill Greenhouse, one of my go to garden nurseries for spring plantings. Near the nursery is a fenced off field with a miniature pony and a donkey. Miniature ponies are nice but I've never felt the affinity for them that I do donkeys.

After I parked my car I went to the fence to take a picture of said donkey. As soon as she saw me she stopped grazing and came over to me.

That surprised me but hey, I liked it. I reached out to her but she stayed just out of my reach. I was able to pat her a few times on her rump. Not soft fur, sort of rough. She stood there for a few minutes. Perhaps eating for something from me like an apple? I think the next time I visit Sandy Hill I will take an apple with me. 

I think we know each other.

 

Buzzards On My Neighbor's Roof

This morning while I was doing y early morning yard work here at our southern Delaware coastal home I noticed buzzards gathered on my neighbor's roof. They were probably waiting for me to deposit another rotisserie chicken carcass in my back yard.

That's it folks, that's my blog post for the day. With all these beautiful spring days I'm spending a lot of time outside. Bill's out doing his daily walk now. I'm going to pick him up and make our daily trek to our favorite local supermarket, Food Lion in Milton. Burritos today!

Fish Pond Fountain

Good morning folks! 

Check it out, I now have a mini solar powered pond fountain in my naturalized pond. 

Unlike my ponds at our Pennsylvania house I decided to go natural with this pond. And as you can see I have a "pea soup" pond. Hopefully that pond water will clear up once my pond plants are established and a proper PH balance is established. 

Our ponds at our Pennsylvania house were near the house and thus easy to hook up to an electrical outlet. Here the pond is all the way at the other end of our almost one acre backyard. Running an electrical line out that far just isn't feasible. Nor do I want electric running all the time. 

We enjoyed the gentle water sounds of the pond fountain at our Pennsylvania house but here in Delaware the pond is too far away from the house for us to hear the soothing sound of gently splashing water. However, I did want to give some aeration in the water for the now dozen or so goldfish that live in the pond. 

I love this pond. Still a work in progress though. I will keep you updated. 

Tipton Family Tree

 

Me from the 1993 Tipton Family Reunion 

Today I spent the morning on the phone with Bob Tipton, a distant Tipton relative. We wanted my permission to take a DNA test for our common Tipton family line.

As I have mentioned many times before in this blog, I am very interested in researching my family tree, especially my paternal Tipton line. 

The photo above of me was taken at one of the occasional Tipton family reunions held here in southeastern Pennsylvania. Most of the Tiptons in this area are descended from my Tipton grandparents who had eleven sons (no daughters). The photo was a freeze frame on an 8 mm film, thus the blurriness. 

Note that the date is 1993. At that time I didn't know anything about my paternal Tipton family line other than the name of my grandfather, Fieldon Jacob Tipton who moved his family of young sons to southeastern Pennsylvania from the mountains of western North Carolina in 1929 to work as cheap farm labor on his brother-in-law's fruit and vegetable farm. My father was ten years old when he arrived in Pennsylvania. Eleven years later he met my Mother, is from old Pennsylvania Quaker stock, and married her. I was their first born son in 1941. Two more sons arrived in subsequent years. 

In 1994, my late brother John (he died this past September), was living in South Carolina. He said a co-worker, who often visited his relatives in the western North Carolina mountains and family cemeteries. After one trip he told my brother that he often encountered many Tipton headstones in the cemeteries he visited. Thus began my foray into Tipton family genealogy. The next year, 1994, I made a trip with my brother to those same mountains and discovered much information about my Tipton family history. 

My late brother John and I at the Tipton-Haynes historic site in Johnson City Tennessee 1998,
attending another Tipton Family Reunion

That was the year I began building my family tree, first on Family Tree Maker and later on Ancestry.com.

Since that time I've had intense periods of research and then times that life caught up with me and I had to abandoned my family research. 

Well folks, I'm back to researching my Tipton family history. I've always loved doing research. I can literally spend hours researching and building my family tree. I've even built out my maternal branch which is just as interesting as my Tipton family line. 

Too often I put off researching but time is catching up with me. My legacy will be what I leave on Ancestry.com about my family research. I have many stories to tell. 

I'm telling you all this because you may not see me post as often on this personal blog. I do not intend to stop posting but probably can't just as often. I still am Bill's full-time caregiver which is taking more time these days. Caregiving and running the whole household here at Casa Tipton-Kelly still takes up a lot of my time.  Before Bill's strokes, we used to pretty evenly divide the household duties around here. Bill did the handyman work (including electric and plumbing) and I did the cooking, shopping and paying bills. Now I do it all. And frankly folks, it pretty well takes up much of my day. I only have time to write this blog when Bill is sleeping as he is now. 

As I mentioned earlier in this post, I spend about two hours on the phone with a Tipton cousin talking about our Tipton family history research. This conversation reinvigorated my interest in doing more research before I leave this planet. 

Some have advised me to "take time for myself" when I became a caregiver. And I agree! And there are few things I enjoy more (trips with Pat) than researching my family history. I find it very relaxing and fascinating. 

Life goes on folks. Until it doesn't but in the meantime I'm off to a new path.

Have a great day everyone!

Flashbacks

 

Christime McD. - one of my kind bosses at the bank - 1994
I caught her by surprise with this photo. She actually has a very nice smile. I will always remember her kindness and generosity to me. Just one of my many fond flashbacks in my prior life.

These days, in my waning years, I find myself often thinking of my past eighty some years. 

It's like drowning and you see your past life flashing before your eyes. That's the way I'm often feeling now when I realize I'm coming to the end of this wonderful life that has been granted to me. 

So many things in the past eighty years I remember with such clarity. I've always wanted to write a book about my life but have procrastinated. Maybe now is the time to do it. But I wouldn't be writing it for the general public. I am quite sure not many would be interested in my life. I would only be writing this book, my memoir, for myself and for that "Ron" in the future who researches his (or her as the case may be) family tree and comes across my autobiography. I know how I would fee if I came across one of my ancestor's autobiography. I would devour it. So that is why I would write such a written history of my life. 

Yesterday I was on my very expensive Ancestry.com account, looking up family information for a distant cousin. I love researching my family history, especially my Tipton line. I can always find the relationship of any Tipton's because we American Tipton's are all descended from that one Jonathan Tipton who emigrated to this country from Jamaica in 1692. 

When I get on my Ancestry.com account on these family tree research expeditions I literally spend hours researching information. My legs are numb when I finally get up. The Tipton cousin I researched yesterday I found that we were sixth cousins, twice removed. That means our grandfathers six generations back were brothers and his grandfather and I are of the same generation. Oh does that make me feel old, but I am old. 

This particular cousin had contacted me though my Facebook account. He saw a photo of me and said I reminded him of his father in appearance. I saw the photo and didn't see the resemblance but there you are. He said he father was a gentle soul and had passed from HIV. I don't have HIV but I am thin like his father (don't mine my little pot belly, comes with age). I like to think I am a "gentle soul", but perhaps not. What I am is a survivor though. Lucky also.  I had opportunities to become infected with HIV during that era but declined. I always thought I was "missing out" during that era but apparently I was spared. Now I am convinced I was spared in order to take care of Bill. And also to meet Pat. Two of the best things to happen in my life.

Bill has stabilized again but will always need my care for the rest of his life. He needs me to feed him, wash and dress him, give him his medication and provide companionship ship for him. And I am glad to do it and have the opportunity to care for him. And to be physically able to care for him. Again, I am very lucky. Just like my whole life for the past eighty some years.

I used to worry that I would die or become incapacitated while Bill was still alive. These days I worry less about that aspect of my life. Whatever happens, happens. If I should be out of picture of taking care of Bill either by my disability of death, Bill wouldn't last too long. For you see, Bill has had a good long life for which we are both so grateful.

On this sunny but chilly Saturday afternoon in April of 2023, a year that I never expected to survive to, I sit at my computer and type this blog entry, wondering where I am going with this. 

I have "Black Magic Woman" by Santana playing in the background, and am in a good mood. This morning I made a fresh batch of egg custard for Bill and potato salad for me. I have some homemade chili waiting for me to warm it up for lunch. I will take Bill for his daily ride (mine too, I also like to get out). 

Life is good folks. However many days, weeks, months and or years I have left, life HAS BEEN GOOD TO ME. In addition to my Mother, who did a much longer blog post than I intended (I was just going to list some of the heroes in my life), here are the names of some of the other heroes in my life. That names will mean nothing to the readers of this blog post but listing them gives me comfort in acknowledging them and their kindness and generosity in my life. For anyone who puts up with me has to be a hero. 

Bill B. - high school friend and fellow band member. He played the bass drum and I the Sousaphone. We always saved seats for each other on the bus for the away football games. That's because we always were the last to load out instruments in the belly of the bus.

Theodore G. - the Army recruiter who talked me into doing the Army thus causing me to cancel my papers for joining the Navy. Joining the Army changed the course of my life. All new friends and skills learned. Only downside, I never did get to "see the world" like I wanted to in the Navy. In fact I never got off the East Coast during my three year enlistment.

Bob McM. - my first "best friend" in the Army. What fun we had. Could write volumes about our adventures. Then at the end I found out he was gay and I never knew it! Bob is gone now.

Ron H. - another best friend in the Army. Again, more adventures and after the discharge from the Army, Ron was instrumental in getting me at job at a big city bank, my lifelong dream. Again, changed the course of my life.

Bill P. - my longtime boss at the bank. Again, put up with me and saw the good in me past my many faults. Still a friend.

Bill K. - my life partner and husband of the pat fifty-nine years. Literally saved my life many times. 

Don McK. - another lifelong friend. Always a comfort to talk to Don. Another friend who understands me. Still a friend.

Pat F. - It will be ten years this August that I met Pat. But he was The One I was looking for in all he wrongs places during my bar hopping years. Pat completes me and I complete him. Hopefully I will end my days with Pat. I will walk off into the sunset of my life with this wonderful man. 

There have been many other wonderful people in my life. And of course there have been "the others" who sought to do me harm or at best just took me for granted. We all know who those folks are. And I won't dwell on them. I have survived those people through a mixture of skill and luck. 

You may have noticed that there are no women on my list. That doesn't mean there haven't been kind and generous women in my life. There have been. Two that come to mind are Joanne D. and Christine McD. of my time at Fidelity bank. Most women I have encountered in my life who were friendly to me were looking for a romantic entanglement and/or marriage, which I avoided of course. At times it seemed the only women who weren't after me were lesbians, which I could always tell because they would have nothing to do with me. It took me a while to realize that because I was so used to fending off most women who were friendly with me. But with Joanne and Christine, both who were my bosses at different times at the bank; they were just kind and generous to me without that extra pressure of expecting "something" from me which was refreshing. I was so used to being on guard with friendly women that at first I didn't know how to handle my relationship with them until I realized that they were just nice people who happened to be my boss. I know some women will probably take offense to what I'm just writing now and think I am being full of myself but hey, this was my life experience. Or at least the way I experienced it. I better stop taking about this now before I did my self deeper in the hole that I have dug. I will always remember what my friend Bob C. said when he moved into a new neighborhood. A few days in his house, he got a knock at the door. At the door was his neighbor, a widow lady with an apple pie. She wanted to welcome him to the neighborhood.  Bob looked at her and the apple pie she was holding in his hands and said "I'm gay."  That took care of that. That would be the last apple pie he received from her. 

Time for Bill's ride.

Have a great day everyone!

April Fool's Day 2023

Crock Pot working today!

 Welcome April!

This Saturday morning here in southern coastal Delaware, Trump country, a light rain is falling. The Trump fools are all in a dither because their Dear Leader was indicted by the Manhattan district attorney, the first time in Trump's long and infamous life that he's actually going to be held accountable for one of his crimes. This time, falsifying records about campaign finances regarding his brief affair with the porn star Stormy Daniels. 

Trump is in a panic. His cowardly, sycophant, Republican supporters are hysterical with indignation. "How dare they indict Dear Leader!" 

Even my good Trump flag flying neighbor Bob is in a deep funk. I just don't understand how good people like Bob (probably the best neighbor Bill and I have ever had) and otherwise decent folks (many of them longtime friends) have been brainwashed into being Trump supporters. Even though they know of his lifetime of criminality, his Mob Boss thuggery and intimidation and lack of respect of the Constitution, they continue to support Trump. I think I sort of understand, I too at one time wanted Trump to run for president during one of his early toe dipping into the presidential primary season in New Hampshire. Of course at that time I didn't realize what a profound evil, selfish, immoral slug Trump was. Trump cares nothing about his supporters. Trump is an opportunist. He only uses them to feed his insatiable appetite for attention. 

Look Trump supporters, Trump will never be president again (thank God)! But he will continue to cause dissension in our country. But I am a firm believer in that Good will triumph over evil. I don't think the majority of his clueless supporters are evil, they are just misguided. They don't trust government. Hey, I don't either. But Trump isn't your vehicle folks. Look elsewhere. Trump will only take you one place, to the trash dump. Wake up.

That said, now to talk about something nice. Bill continues to be stabilized. His leg is completely healed. He weaker and having trouble speaking. Early signs of dementia are more evident every day but he knows who I am. He's comfortable. I couldn't wish for more in out situation. He's here at home with me. Of course it takes a toll on me, being his constant caregiver but I would rather have our situation that way instead of him in some facility. I am so thankful we can live out our final days this way. 

My back is aching now. This is what happens when I stand too long. This morning the culprit was preparation for Crock Pot beef stew. Cutting the beef and browning it, peeling and cutting the vegetables, requires a lot of preparation up front but at the end of the day I have a Crock Pot of scrumptious beef stew. And the aroma of the beef stew during the day as it cooks in the Crock Pot, heavenly!