This morning while I was searching through some old pictures looking for examples of my natural talent for photography to show off to a friend of mine who complimented me that I should have been a professional photographer (was that a long sentence or what?) I came across this picture of My First Boyfriend.
This picture was taken in the summer of 1962 at a friend's summer cottage near the Chesapeake Bay in Maryland. I was in the Army at the time and stationed at Ft. George G. Meade in Maryland. I worked at the National Security Agency. Yes, I had a top secret clearance where gays were not allowed.
I state this is my First Boyfriend as opposed to my First Time. Back in this day I was still a bit (a lot actually) backwards as to the ways of carnal knowledge. What I did know was that I liked being with this guy and he liked being with me. He allowed me to go a little further than "just pals", but I never did go "all the way." I was too afraid. But the time we did sleep together on several occasions away from the barracks. He was my first introduction to the male body other than my own (which I didn't know anything about anyway). Believe me, I was the typical Small Town Boy who knew NOTHING.
This may be hard from some to believe today but back in the late Forties and early Fifties when I grew up there were NO GAY PEOPLE. There were queers. I knew I wasn't ONE OF THEM. They were dirty old men who hung out in public restrooms looking for a peek. That wasn't me. In fact, I'm still very uncomfortable in public restrooms; I avoid them whenever I can.
Back in the Fifties there were no TV shows or movies or books about being gay and how one acted. Everything was courting the gals. Hey, I tried that. While I liked the girls (as friends) it wasn't until I met My First Boyfriend that I knew how many buttons that I had on my panel of eroticism to be pushed. When I met First Boyfriend, I had a constant (you know WHAT - which I won't print because my partner gets upset when he reads my graphic language). Let's just say I was in a constant state of "excitement."
So anyway, I'm going through some of my old black and white pictures to show off my natural talent for composition and "capturing the moment" and I come across First Boyfriend. Hey, the excitement is still there!
Over the years I've tried to contact him once in 1966 by a phone call (I gave the message to his wife, he never called back) and once with a Christmas card in 2009 (which he must have gotten because the card wasn't returned to me). I don't know what exactly I would say to him other than I wish him well and appreciated his friendship during the "experimentation" phase of my introduction to my real sexuality instead of the false one that I was trying to follow.
He's probably a granddad now, bald and with a big beer belly. But I'll always remember him from this formative period in my life. He doesn't know how much he helped me. It is ironic that my two main introductions to realizing my homosexuality were both from straight men.
Three years after this picture was taken I had my First Time with a 29 year old married father of three small children who seduced me. I wrote about that experience in a previous blog which I did include his name (from the Social Security Death Index - he died in the Nineties). After posting that blog I heard from two of his now grown children who found me through an Internet search. His daughter said there were always rumors about their father's "flings" and my blog confirmed those rumors.
I have no intention of having My First Boyfriend's children contacting me so he shall remain nameless. But the memory remains. Nice memories, very nice.