Ron Enjoys A Treat on The Rehoboth Beach Boardwalk

Last week during Pat's visit we took several jaunts down to the Rehoboth Beach boardwalk. A treat I rarely have availed myself since I moved to southern Delaware lo these fourteen years ago. If I do go to the boardwalk, it is in the off season. I just cannot abide the traffic to get to the boardwalk in the summertime. However, since Pat was visiting, we drove down to the beach in his rental car.

The video above shows me sloppily licking one of those soft ice cream cones. This particular cone had an orange flavored coating. Delicious! 

Back when I was a very young man I used to enjoy ice cream. Over the years I have lost my taste for regular ice cream. I don't know if it was me or the manufactured taste of ice creams that food makers are all too guilty of injecting into our foodstuffs these days. It's a wonder they don't put garlic powder in ice cream, they put garlic powder into just about everything else these days to make up for the loss of flavor of manufactured food.

Pat is back in Canada and I'm back to my regular routine of caring for Bill. While Pat was down here I found that I could take a shuttle bus to Rehoboth Beach to avoid the traffic and I may do that in the future. However, there is no substitution for doing the boardwalk with a good friend, breathing that ocean breeze and imbibing in the summer vibe and feeding my face with a fabulous orange crusted soft ice cream.

Rehoboth Beach Boardwalk July 18, 2022

Last week was quite a week! 

My good friend Pat came all the way down from his home in Hamilton, Ontario, Canada to help me through my first cataract surgery. Pat had cataract surgery last year. Also, I hadn't seen Pat in person for over two and a half years although we're in contact daily via FaceTime and Zoom.

My surgery was on Thursday. Pat arrived the previous Sunday. He took an American Airlines flight to Philadelphia, visited our mutual friend Don McK. in center city Philly, then drove his rental car down here to Casa Tipton-Kelly here in southern Delaware. I immediately put him on my John Deere Zero Degree turn lawn mower tractor (video will follow in a future blog posting). 

I took advantage of Pat's visit to go into Rehoboth Beach which is only ten miles down the road (Route One, Coastal Highway). Although I live close to Rehoboth Beach and love the boardwalk, I never go in summertime, the traffic is just to heavy. But I do miss the boardwalk and the "summer experience" of the crowds and people watching. Usually I only go to the Rehoboth Beach boardwalk in fall or early spring and on those rare winter days that have mild weather. I rarely visit the Rehoboth Beach boardwalk in the throes of the summertime crowds. Last week I did and I thoroughly enjoyed it. The only downside was the oppressive heat but we did catch a few ocean breezes that made walking the boardwalk tolerable. 

Pat at the Rehoboth Beach boardwalk July 18, 2022

I secured a commitment from Pat that he will visit again next year so we can "walk the boards" on the Rehoboth Beach boardwalk. We also visited the boardwalk in the evening and visited Funland. We actually played some of the games and Pat even won a small stuffed owl playing skeet ball. Wonder of wonders, someone I knew actually won a prize. The last time I played any games at any of these cheapo games was at a carnival when I was ten years old when I lived in Downingtown, Pennsylvania. All I remember is being cheated out of a prize that I won by placing a quarter on the winning number at one of those spin the wheels fraud games. That soured me on those games, they're all fixed or almost impossible to win. After Pat won that stuffed owl I played a few games (about ten dollars worth) but of course didn't win anything. I'm terrible at that kind of thing. Sports, gambling, et al. I brought a lottery ticket for Mega Millions that the winning prize is over ONE BILLION DOLLARS. Of course I won't win that either but hey, one can dream. I could BUY the Rehoboth Beach boardwalk if I won a billion dollars. But would I want to? That's the question but I digress.

Last week's visit by Pat was a wonderful diversion to my year and a half of 24/ 7 caregiving for Bill. I took a lot of videos which I will share in future blog posts. So much fun! By the way, I discovered that I can take a shuttle bus to the boardwalk for only eighty cents (senior citizen rate). As I said before, I don't go to the Rehoboth Beach boardwalk in the summer because of the heavy traffic (parking lot) and the parking expense. However, the bus ride is fast and cheap. I will be returning to the boardwalk and taking more videos. Thanks to Pat for opening this new escape hatch for me. I love taking care of Bill and am so appreciative that I can but I do need an occasional diversion and the Rehoboth Beach boardwalk is great diversion. I love those ocean breezes and the sound of the surf. 

Cataract Surgery A Success!

 

Ready for my cataract surgery last Thursday

My cataract surgery was a success!

Last Thursday I entered the Delaware Eye Institute with loads of trepidation. My late younger brother had a botched cataract surgery a few years ago that ruined his eyesight in his right eye. He found out after the surgery he was the first ever patient of a young woman. I guess everyone has a 'first time". Unfortunately my brother was the innocent victim of her failure.

I knew my eye doctor of fourteen years was going to perform my cataract surgery and that was some relief. However, I was still nervous. Pat had arrived the previous Sunday (first time I've seen him in person in two and a half years) but I just couldn't get into his visit because I was concerned about my upcoming cataract surgery. Pat assured me I had nothing to worry about and he was right. My surgery was a breeze,

I was put under a "twilight" sedation (Vicodin) which I was told "You'll know what is going on but you won't care." Actually I remember being wheeled into the surgery room with a bright light overhead and seeing my doctor round the corner towards me but after that . . . . nothing. Now I can understand why people get hooked on a drug like Vicodin. I literally didn't care and in fact I don't even remember anything. Great! That's just the way I like it.

The first day out I had to wear an eye patch. Not a pirate eyepatch but a clear eyepatch with holes in it so my eye could breath. 

One thing I noticed right away was the colors. SO BRIGHT, especially the blues and whites! I didn't realize I was looking through the world in yellow parchment (like this old copies of the U. S. Declaration of Independence). I thought my left eye was all right but when I close my right eye I can see where my left  eye casts a dirty yellow haze over everything. That cataract surgery is scheduled for next month. I can't wait!

Now I have the annoying chore of applying a series of expensive (out of pocket) eye drops daily to my repaired eye. Well worth it for the vision I can see now. And another thing that is fabulous, I can see at a distance without glasses. I started off in life being near sighted. Now it's the opposite. I need glasses for reading but I don't need glasses for distance. Pat and my friend Larry had the same experience after their cataract surgery. I'll take it! I could have paid extra and had the bi-focal cataract surgery but I didn't want to take that chance. I don't mind wearing glasses to read.

Oh, by the way, I had a fabulous week with Pat down here. We hit some new restaurants and the boardwalk in Rehoboth Beach. The only downside was the oppressive heat. Just too hot but more about that later in future blog posts. I have to get ready for my one week post op surgery visit to my doctor. 

If you haven't had cataract surgery, get it! This is great. It's like I have a new pair of eyes which, actually, I do! 

Pat Has Arrived!

Pat arrived yesterday afternoon about 2:30 PM, right in the middle of me and Bill's daily afternoon Old Man Naps. 

Pat let himself in the house and entered my bedroom. He saw me dozing off so he threw a pillow at my face. That's my Pat! 

This is the first time I've seen Pat in person (we talk regularly on FaceTime) since February 2020. COVID and then me taking care of Bill full-time has put our quarterly get together trips on hold.

First thing I did yesterday was put Pat on my John Deere EZ Turn riding mower to take a couple of swipes at mowing our lawn. However, I neglected to tell him how to stop it. That's what he is gesturing to me as I needed this video.

Pat hadn't slept for almost twenty-four hours, having left Hamilton, Ontario, Canada just after midnight Saturday to go over the Canada-USA border to Buffalo New York for his flight to Philly. In Philly he was going to visit our friend Don McK but he got wrong directions and ended up over the Ben Franklin Bridge in Camden, New Jersey! Believe me folks,  you don't want to "end up" in Camden New Jersey.

Eventually he found his way to Don's condo in center city Philly. He helped Don set up his Zoom account and we three talked on Zoom. 

Last night we went to the movies to see "Elvis."  On a scale of ten I would give "Elvis" 7 1/2. Good in parts but perhaps a bit overwrought in others.

I would make this a longer post but Pat's up now and waiting for me to go with him to Rehoboth Beach and Starbucks. STARBUCKS! I get my first caramel latte in two and a half years!

Have a great day everyone. I will!

Guess Who Is Coming For A Visit?

Pat and I during one of our visits to Palm Springs several years ago.

Yes, Pat is coming for a visit!

I haven't seen Pat in person for two and a half years (February 2020). 

Since 2013 we were getting together every quarter for a trip. Twice to Philadelhia (week each), once to Pat's hometown of Hamilton, Ontario, Canada and two weeks in California (the past few years all two weeks in Palm Springs). Then COVID happened which threw a monkey wrench in our quarterly excursions.

When COVID interrupted our trips I had already made three airline reservations (American) in advance for my trips. When COVID killed those trips plans, American Airlines kept my money but gave me credits instead for future trips. Since that time I have become the full-time caregiver for Bill so I couldn't make any trips. Those credits were to expire this year at the end of September. I got in contact with American Airlines and explained my situation and asked if I could transfer the credits to my friend Pat. They were very gracious and said they could. Those credits are what Pat is going to use to make the trip down to Philadelphia then rent a car to stay here a week at Casa Tipton-Kelly. 

In addition to using my airline credits before they expire another reason for the trip is Pat can take me to my cataract surgery which is scheduled for this Thursday. Pat's already had cataract surgery so he knows all about "the drops." Also, it will be good to see Pat in person even though we're in contact daily by FaceTime or Zoom. I also would like him to see Bill while Bill is still here. Bill could outlive me but I doubt if Bill will be here next year. He's stabilized but he hasn't got better and he's off his blood thinner medicine. His hospice nurse suggested that there is less chance of a fall if Bill is off of Eliquis. What's worse? A stroke or a fall? We take our chances. I could get hit by a bus tomorrow.

So today is getting Pat's bedroom vacuumed (it's been unoccupied since he last visited three years ago) and ready for him. He's leaving Canada at midnight and driving to Buffalo, New York to catch his plane. Leaving from Buffalo is a lot better than leaving from Pierson International Airport in Toronto. Believe me, I've done it and I will never do it again. Buffalo is much nicer and more efficient. Usually, when Pat visits he takes the bus but we're splurging this time. I don't want to lose those airline credits.

Even though Bill still needs constant care, he does go to bed at around 6:30 PM. I'm hoping Pat and I can go out a few nights and have a restaurant meal. I haven't been to a restaurant in 2 1/2 years either. I probably should fasten my seat belt for the price increases but it would be nice to break there routine around here at Casa Tipton-Kelly.

When Pat lands in Philadelphia, he going to visit our friend Don McK. Then he will drive down here. Should be here tomorrow evening. Pooped. Straight to his bedroom where I will not disturb him until he's read to go. I plan to put him on my John Deere riding mower while he's down here. He doesn't mow a lot of grass at his penthouse home in the downtown center of Hamilton.

Have a great day everyone!

 

Oven Not Working

 

Local oven repair guys

One of the joys of running a household is the guaranteed breakdown of equipment to maintain our comfortable first world lifestyle. The latest repair here at Casa Tipton-Kelly is that our wall oven (GE Profile) isn't working. I haven't had French Fries for three weeks now.

I use my wall oven almost every day. Even during these hot summer days. 

I often make casseroles for myself (Bill only eats oatmeal, he has no teeth) which I freeze for future meals. I reheat those partitioned casseroles at a later date in the oven. And of course I almost always have oven baked French Fries. I also reheat my Royal Farms biscuits in my conviction oven.

It seems once I get one thing fixed, then something else crops up. Pat's having trouble with his central air conditioning in his Hamilton, Ontario penthouse. Thank goodness I don't have any problems with my central air conditioning (knock on wood)! Oh for sure I did have problems with my central air conditioner a few years ago. I had to replace the whole unit which was builder grade and only lasted about seven years. That cost me a cool $10,000.

Last year I had a leak in my basement wall where the sewer pipe goes out to my septic tank. Seems the seal around the pipe wasn't there and groundwater leaked in. That fix cost me about $2,500.

No car troubles.....yet. But then I have a Subaru Forester (2010). My second one. I had my previous Subaru Forester about twelve years. Traded it in just because I got tired of it and the steering wheel was starting to pull to the left. I didn't want to go down that route of fixing up patches. I figured I would trade it in while I still got a good trade in (I did, I got $4,000 trade in for a twelve year old Subaru).

My latest big expense is the eye drops for my upcoming cataract surgery next week. I get my medications through the VA but my eye doctor prefers a specific prescription of three brand name eye drops for the best results of my cataract surgery. I decided to bite the bullet and pay out of pocket for this expense. I'll have to pay that again for my second eye. I'm thankful I have the funds to pay for it. Whenever I feel "poor me" I think this is only a first world problem. I could live in Ukraine.

Life goes on here at Casa Tipton-Kelly.

Why I Blog

 

"DIG" Magazine, my favorite reading material when I was a teenager. I remember this cover, oh how I wanted to win this guy as my slave!

Three main reasons why I blog:

1) THERAPY 

I found that writing about myself and my view of the world is the best therapy from keeping me from going crazy. 

I've been blogging since 2005. Prior to blogging I kept a journal nee diary (which I still keep). Prior to keeping a journal (which I wish I had started when I was a teenager) I had multiple pen pals. Oh how I loved my pen pals. At one time I had over sixty pen pals mostly from the United states but also a few foreign pen pals (Japan and Germany). 

I've always been interested in other people's life experiences and have had a desire to express my life experience to others who I thought were as interested in my life as I was in theirs.

But overall I found that blogging or writing provided a release for my bottled up emotions. I'm like that pot of boiling water on the stove with a lid on it. Keep that lid on and I boil over. I need to take that lid off occasionally so I don't boil over. 

2) MAKING FRIENDS

Like many teenagers, I was lonely. Growing up introverted because of a mentally and verbally abusive father I had low self esteem. I didn't feel I was worthy of real life friends so I found pen pals a way to have friends without those "friends" having to see me in person. Me with the big nose, too tall for my age and too skinny. Me, who my father constantly reminded me was a big disappointment to him because I was "stupid". Me, who my father called me by his name for me "Beak". I don't think he ever called me by my real first name the whole time I was growing up at home. Never. When I saw an ad in "DIG" magazine for pen pals I quickly answered it and viola! I had friends. Mostly girls (which was all right) and some guys. No gay pen pals though although I suspect one guy in Wisconsin was a pubescent gay but back in the Fifties, the very regressive Fifties how was one to know? All I knew is he liked to talk about designing dresses for women which was my desire at that time too. Believe it or not, when I was growing up I wanted to be a women's fashion designer. I still have an eye for women's clothes (they should look comfortable on a woman). If I had more self confidence I would probably have followed my dream of being a fashion designer. One thing I know for sure, I could design more fashionable (and comfortable) clothes than many of the designs I see today.

And of course another aspect of "making friends" was even at twelve years old I was looking for Prince Charming. I too was an awakening pubescent male with hormones just beginning to stir. Mainly what I wanted was a very handsome man like Guy Madison ("Wild Bill Hicock") to come in and sweep me away to Living Happily Forever Land. Alas, I had to settle for watching Wild Bill on TV in his tight buckskin outfit with fringes and his raspy sidekick Andy Devine.

3) LEAVING A MARK

We all are here only a short time (I'm over extended at eighty years old now, Gravy Time) and I've always had this desire to "leave my mark." That my existence mattered. Of course it won't matter at all to me when I check out (die) but right now and for most of my life I have struggled with "how do I leave my mark?" I have no discernible unique talent unless you consider survival a talent, and maybe that is. But there are a lot of people who have survived under much more difficult circumstance than your humble blogger here. I figured if I wrote about my life that maybe someone, like me, hundred or two hundred years down the road will read my blog and say to him for herself "Ron sounds like a nice guy, I wish I could have met him." In other words, proof that my life mattered.

We are all unique in this world, every one of us. I am always so grateful that I have this forum (blogging) that I can do all these things. 

I have made friends. Some I have even met in person and they are splendid people. Not once have I been disappointed when I have met someone through my blog. Of course the most prominent example is Pat F. of Hamilton, Ontario, Canada. I am convinced that we were the same ectoplasm in a previous life just because we have so much in common. And the irony is that he isn't a regular blog follower. He happened to see my image on the Internet when I was testifying before the Delaware State Legislature for Marriage Equality and he looked me up and found my blog. That was in 2013 and we've been best buddies since. He comes down here in a week to visit me and help me for my first cataract surgery visit. I haven't seen him in person for two years. It will be good to see my friend Pat again. He is truly a unique person who I would never have found if I wasn't blogging. Meeting him alone is worth all the years of blogging I've done.

I've met Spo in person. A perfectly splendid fellow. Sean ("Sassy Bear"), a joyful guy who makes all smile who are fortunate enough to be in his presence. I even met Fearsome Beard (through Spo, Fearsome doesn't follow my blog), oh my what a nice guy. Others I would like to meet someday. Walt in France but that seems unlikely. Then there are the regular blog followers I have now. Victor, Jim, Jon, Joel and Woody in Ohio. Some come and go over the years. I'm always sad when I don't hear from them anymore. Did they die? Did I say something to cause them to head for the EXIT door? Or did I succeed in boring them too? Anne Marie of Philly used to be a fan but something I did pissed her off and she was gone like a puff of air. Oh well, I moved on.

Now through the years of my blogging I've had to make many adjustments in the way and what I write about. More than a few times I've stepped on some sensitive toes. I've always divulged private information which I should have kept to myself out of respect for the person I was writing about even though they have passed on. Family members are easily offended and don't like having a queer write about their father he seduced him (I was a willing participant). These days I try to avoid writing last names lest I embarrass the surviving family members who in reality deserve to preserve the memory of their father (always men) who was the boy scout leader and respected church elder and not the eighteen year old fellow soldier who was looking for a blow job. Oh the stories I could tell but those stories will go to my grave with me and only a few selected friends will know those "details." 

Then there are also the people I have outed (both male and female) who,  upon second thought I should not have done. I'm not a believer in outing people, that's a decision they should make, a private decision and none of my business. I daresay I have permanently alienated more than one person where I am not welcomed into their homes now because I outed a family member who prefers to live their life in the closet. Yes, even to this day there are closeted gays as unbelievable as that sounds. Must be a combination of self hate and a desire to live a "normal" life. 

I've permanently alienated all the gays here where I live in southern Delaware (Rehoboth Beach). I've written more than once they're a cliquey self serving group who are not welcoming other gays outside their clique. Took me a while to realize that but as Groucho Marx said:

So I will continue to blog as long as I can. Time is running out but I think I still have a few good years left that my brain is functioning even though my body is rapidly failing me. 

That's why I blog folks!

P.S.

I had saved all buy DIG magazines including the one with the guy on the cover to win as a slave. My Mom threw out all my magazines with my EXTENSIVE comic book collection (including all my Crypt comic books pre censorship) when I joined the Army at eighteen years old. She thought they were a "bad influence." Too late Mom, I was already influenced. I WANTED that guy as my slave!

Hacienda Tipton-Kelly Update July 2022

This year's gladiolus crop

Life is good here at Hacienda Tipton-Kelly!

Bill's health continues to be stabilized. We're in a routine now that I've gotten used to. Every three days is Shower Day. Bill doesn't complain as much as he did when we first started this routine fourteen months ago. He was used to just slapping himself with a wet wash cloth. Now he gets a complete soapy bacterial killing shower. No wonder he complains. He no longer has a body odor.

Bill's legs, while still discolored from poor blood flow to his extremities, isn't a swollen as they were when he came home from rehab in February of 2021. His legs were oozing clear liquid which I had to dress daily with bandages. Bill walks daily which helps with his blood flow and I also massage his lower legs daily.

Bill no longer has a hospice nurse visit him weekly to check his vitals. He is also off his Eliquis prescription because of the chance of falling from dizziness. Thus he is subject to a stroke again but if that happens, there will be no extraordinary efforts to keep him alive. Bill is ready to go but in the meantime we try to make the best of our lives.  Because of his macular degeneration blindness he can't do his projects he used to love so much but he has adjusted to his new life of relative inactivity and no projects. Most days he's good but some days he does get depressed. I take him for a ride every day and that seems to alleviate his depression.

Now for my health update. Tuesday I had my pre cataract visit. Quite complicated with all he drops I have to take but I'm ready to get my eyesight back. My right eye is first, scheduled for July 21st. Pat is coming down from his pied a tier in Hamilton, Ontario, Canada for the week of July 17th through the 24th. I'm looking forward to going out to a restaurant and having a chilled margarita (without the salt rim crust) at one of our many Mexican restaurants. Just once during the season I would like to walk down the boardwalk in Rehoboth Beach in the early evening with Pat. We did that when we met nine years ago. I live so close to this vacation destination and yet rarely take advantage of the Rehoboth Beach boardwalk experience. I don't do the beach but I do love the boardwalk. An after being holed up here at Hacienda Tipton-Kelly for the past two years, I'm ready to break out.

 

Happy Anniversary - 58 Years Today!

 

Me and Bill 1964 Pennsauken, New Jersey

Today is the 58th anniversary of the day I met my partner/husband Bill.  

July 3rd, 1964 on a rainy night Saturday night in center city Philadelphia at the Westbury Bar at 15th and Spruce Streets I talked to Bill for the first time. The prior six months Bill had been sending me complimentary gin and tonics. We were both alone in the bar that night so I thought it was the right thing to do to thank him for all those gin and tonics. I had no intention of forming a relationship with him or even going home with him that night, I was just being polite. I had never talked to him before because I didn't want to be seen as "easy" among his friend who he was always with prior to that July 3rd summer evening at about nine o'clock. Besides, Bill wasn't even my "type." I had just assumed that Bill was one of these arrogant guys who thought they could get any body they wanted by just sending them free drinks. Oh how wrong I was. Of course I went home with him that night (oh was he ever smooth) and the rest is history.

Fifty-eight years later I'm now Bill's full-time caregiver. The in between years have been very interesting. We both have had a good life. Our living arrangements have changed but we're still having a good life. 

Happy anniversary Bill!