The Dragon Flies Are Back!

 Hazy, lazy summer days down here at Casa Tipton-Kelly.

I just came in before I really started to sweat from the humidity.

It only takes me about five minutes of activity outside on these hot and humid summer days to sweat up a storm. Ten minutes and I'm soaked and ready for another shower to dry out my skin. 

I was just up at my pond. The dragonflies are back! Earlier this springs the mosquitoes were taking over my backyard paradise here in southern coastal Delaware. "Where were my dragonflies?" I wondered. Then a couple of weeks ago a lone dragonfly appeared and started to make a dent in my local mosquito population. Now they're back full force (about a half a dozen) and viola! No mosquitoes! 

Lovely!

Now for my update of the goings on here at Casa Tipton-Kelly. Yesterday I ventured out in the summertime traffic to a refuel pit stop at my local (Food Lion) supermarket in Milton. During the summer the traffic is heavy on Route One (Coastal Highway) for Rehoboth Beach (ten miles south of Casa Tipton-Kelly). I don't want to be an accident statistic so I try to pick a time of light traffic. That backfired on me yesterday. I had two near misses (auto accidents). The first being at the construction site of the intersection of Rt. 16 and Rt. 1. They've been working on that making a bypass there so the traffic traveling from the north to the south to Rehoboth Beach and other summertime destinations don't have so slow their dash with a red light (God Forbid!). Four years they've been working on that overpass! FOUR YEARS! In fact, years before Bill died he asked "When are they going to be done construction?" I told him "Not in your lifetime." Turns out that was a true statement. 

So here's what happen, I go to merge in traffic from Rt. 16 to Rt. 1 south and WHAM! Two cars from my left are also trying to merge in! WTF? I wasn't even expecting traffic from my left. Besides, I had the right of way because I was on the right. 

NEAR MISS! 

Then when I arrive at my development, where the speed limit is 15 MPH, and where I consider myself home safe after the craziness of the speeding on Rt. 1 (Speed Limit is 55 MPH but traffic often reaches 70 MPH), I was almost rear ended by a floral deliver van! 

HELP! 

I'm not even safe in turning into my own driveway in my own development.

So when do I go out? When is it safe for me to make a supply run to the store? 

ANSWER: Never in the summertime. A fact I have to accept and adjust to. Wish me luck!

Change of subject:

I have decided to stop taking some of my blood pressure medicine. I don't like the side effects.

I have about eight (at last count) prescriptions that I take on a daily basis. I think that's too much. 

My latest prescriptions have these side effects:

Constipation

Diarrhea

Fatigue

Depression

Respiratory Problems

I'm experiencing every one of them. I'll deal with the high blood pressure.

We're talking quality of life here. I don't like these side effects because they only exacerbate those problems I've already had. No thank you.

I'm an old man. Eighty-four years old this November. I shouldn't even be here. I almost checked out at seventeen years old because of a botched hernia operation at the hospital where unsanitary conditions resulted in my contacting a staph infection. All my life since then has been a bonus. I'm living on borrowed time. And since I lost Bill a year and a half ago, I have pretty much lost the will to live. Oh yes, I am lucky to have Pat in my life but he's quite happy and content living in Canada and even when we get married he will probably continue to live in Canada.

Pat's home on Hess Street in Hamilton, Ontario, Canada ( yellow door)

I actually don't want it any other way because I want him to be happy. We talk several times a day via FaceTime and have a great friendship. But living with him like I lived with Bill, probably not going to happen. Bill was happy living with me. I'm not the easiest person to live with. Bill loved me enough to overlook that side of me. I don't want or expect Pat to make that sacrifice. All Bill wanted out of life was to live with me. Pat has a lot more interests than me. I know that because I've known Pat since August of 2013.  That's twelve years and long enough to know someone.

Speaking of which, Pat is waiting to receive the certified copy of my birth certificate that I sent to him last week. Once he receives my birth certificate then he will call the American Consulate in Montreal to arrange for his interview. He needs to bring my birth certificate with him among other things. Once he passes that interview, which I expect he will then he has to take a health physical. Once he passes that physical he will receive approval to marry me. Then we have ninety days to get married. Hopefully that will happen before the end of summer. Once we're married Pat will return to Canada for the time being. We're playing this by ear. Maybe he will move down here permanently. We'll see how it works out but for the immediate future he will return to his nice little home in Hamilton, Ontario Canada and we will stay in touch. 

He wants to move to Palm Springs but I don't want to move there permanently. I love my home here in Delaware to much. I plan to end my days here whether it be tomorrow, next week, next month of years from now. Pat of course will eventually move to Palm Springs providing he outlives me which is probably what will happen. But you never know. Pat will continue to visit Casa Tipton-Kelly

Casa Tipton-Kelly late afternoon June 29, 2025

and of course he continues to have his own quarters here as he has had for the last twelve years. 

Stay cool folks. Don't want to hear of anybody conking out because of heat exhaustion.

Fence Removal

You know folks, it's always something.

This morning while I was relaxing in my bedroom, staying out of the oppressive heat and humidity that is hovering over southern coastal Delaware today, I hear my doorbell ring.

"Oh who is it now? Another salesman?" 

Alas no, the person ringing my Ring doorbell was a very attractive redhead (not Pat) in a orange construction helmet and Day-Glo lime green T-shirt.

He identified himself from a local tree service company called Asplunh. He was here to remove Bill's white PVC fence from around our transformer. 

I knew this was coming.

For the past year there have been rumblings about too many homes here in paradise i. e. Sussex County, Delaware, hiding their transformers with shrubbery and the like. 

We've been warned to REMOVED ALL OBSTACLES but of course I've been ignoring the warnings because Bill put in that fence. It's part of my memory with Bill. Actually, I was against putting in the fence, I wanted to keep access unobstructed to the transformer but Bill insisted. He said the transformer was "ugly."

Bill and our neighbor Bob leveling off the fence

Over the years I've had many colorful and beautiful displays of flowers including a magnificent display of light lavender clematis. The past several years I've been the talk of the neighborhood with my blazing red display of salvia flowers. That is no more after today.

Poor Bill, he would be turning over in his grave if he was in a grave. Actually his ashes are in a beautiful box in his bedroom downstairs.

After the guys from Asplundh left I put a call into GOT-JUNK! to remove the fence. They want a minimum of $398 to take it away (quarter tuck). Instead I posted "FREE WHITE PVC FENCE" on my NextDoor app and got an immediate response within five minutes. It's 12:30 PM now. "Jared" said he would be over at 1:30 PM.

I feel bad for my salvia plants that just took hold and my long time clematis but it is what it is. 

Another piece of Bill's history gone. 

Pond June 22, 2025

This is a short video of my backyard pond I took a few hours ago today.

Check it out! I've finally defeated the algae!

I'm happy, the fist are happy, the local birds are happy and the dragon flies are happy. The mosquitoes that bred in the pond are happy....for awhile until the fish eat the larva and those mosquitoes who do manage to survive, the dragonflies and dragon damsels (the female dragon flies) are waiting for them.

When I installed this pond three years ago my plan was not to have a pond filter running 24/7 but instead to have aeration supplied by my solar panel and leave the rest up to Mother Nature with the proper planting of plants. Alas, the algae always seem to take over. 

This year I decided to install an electric motor pump and a filter box. Oh sure, it doesn't look "natural" (as all the instruction books always urge) but it works for me......and the fish. Maybe next year I'll fancy up the black filter water-fall box with flagstone to make the waterfall look more natural. Hey, it's not natural so what's the difference? My main goal is to have clear water so I can see the fish and for the fish, so they can see. Previously, with all the algae, my pond often looked like pea soup, very thick pea soup.

When we lived in Pennsylvania I had three ponds, all electric motor driven. Two of the ponds I had built a filter system that mimicked natural (there's that word "natural" again) wetlands.  I never had to change that filter. With the filters I have now, I have to change them every four to five days. Actually rinse them out of algae. 

Some algae in a pond is natural. In fact the fish eat algae but maintaining the proper balance is tricky. I am so happy that I have that balance now.

Once I day, around noontime, I go up to the pond to feed them. I turn on my hose from my well to provide fresh water for the pond. My resident fish, many of whom were born in this pond (I started out with six feeder goldfish I bought three for twenty-five cents each). The fish know this is feeding time. The warmer the weather, the hungrier they are. I actually don't have to feed them because they can find enough in the pond to sustain themselves but I like the daily routine of feeding them. 

I know it sounds like a chore to clean the pond filter box every four or five days but I don't mind. It's part of my regular routine plus I'm outside. Maybe not so much fund on a day like today where the temperature is ninety degrees and 91% humidity but most days it's just fine. 

By the way, if you look closely at my pond videos you'll see a large, fancy, multi-colored fish. That's "Big Mama".  A good friend of mine asked if her granddaughter's pet goldfish, which she got at a local fair in Pennsylvania some years ago, could join my goldfish club in my pond. Her granddaughter's goldfish had outgrown her tank in her home. I said "Sure!" This is her second summer in my pond. And guess what, I have several multicolored baby goldfish now! 

There are only two problems with having a goldfish pond that bother me. At some point I either die or move away and I can't take the goldfish with me. When Bill and I moved from our beautiful home in Pennsylvania, I left about a dozen long term gold fish in my ponds. A few years later, after the buyer of our Pennsylvania home defaulted on his mortgage and had to move out and left our old home abandoned, we visited the now empty house with overgrown shrubbery. I checked the pond which was filled with about two years worth of dead leaves. Low and behold I could see movement of fish in that pond! I felt so bad to have to leave those fish there. I guess I could have scooped them out and taken them down to the nearby Brandywine River. They wouldn't have lasted too long there though because of the local resident heron cranes but maybe they would have had a better quality of life.

These days which I often think of my soon to be demise and what will happen to the "things" I leave behind, I of course am again concerned about my goldfish. One would think I would have a problem down here in coastal Delaware with their heron cranes but so far, so good. I'm starting to have a problem with the local deer but that is a subject for another blog posting. 

Have a great day everyone and try and stay cool this week! We're into summertime.

P.S.

The photo background is of Rehoboth Beach now. This one wasn't taken by me though. I took it from a Facebook posting that posts daily pictures of Rehoboth Beach. This photo was taken yesterday, June 21st, 2025. Even though I only live ten miles up the road from Rehoboth Beach, I do not visit the beach in summertime unless I go with someone else. This time last year Pat and Glenn were visiting me. Remember that? I ended up in the hospital for three days from heat exhaustion. I don't want no repeats this year. And I especially want to stay out of the hospital.

For Bill

If I have a memorial service when I die, please play this song. 

One Step Closer To Marriage

Me and Pat in Palm Springs, California this past February

 Last week Pat received an e-mail from the American Consulate in Montreal, Canada to call for an appointment! 

This is the last step in Pat and I getting married!

If Pat passes his interview, then the American Consulate will issue a K-1 VISA for Pat. 

Once Pat gets his K-1 VISA, we have ninety days to get married. 

YES!

This process began last August. 

Talk about jumping through hoops. I can even begin. 

I won't bore you with the details but what I can tell you is that I have tons of paperwork and does Pat that we had to submit to the U.S. State Department.

I could have hired a lawyer but instead I figured we could do this ourselves and save several thousand dollars. Thank God for You Tube!

Wouldn't it be ironic if we could get married on the thirteenth anniversary of when we met for the first time with was August 16th, 2013? If we get married at the Georgetown Delaware Courthouse that won't be possible because they're closed on that Saturday.

Bill and I got married on our 49th anniversary of our meeting (July 3, 1964) which just so happen to coincide with the first day of legalize same sex marriage in Delaware, July 3rd, 2013. That day was the happiest day of both me and Bill's life. 

When Pat and I get married, if we're lucky enough for that to happen, that will also be one of the happiest days of my life. 

Even though Pat and I met under very unusual circumstances, I quickly knew that He Was The One I had been looking for all my life. 

I KNEW IT!

So one might ask "How could Pat BE THE ONE when you just got married to Bill the previous month?"

It's complicated folks. As I have written many times before in this blog of twenty years, when I first moved in with Bill it was the understanding that we were strictly roommates, I told him then he wasn't The One. He understood that and we had a very happy, mutually beneficial relations for many years. And guess what happen? Over all those year I developed a deep love for Bill. But I always knew, as did Bill, that he wasn't The One. 

These days hardly a day that goes by that I don't miss Bill terribly. I look forward to the day when our spirits are reunited. But for now, I have a few more years left and I am looking forward to spending them with that little goofy guy I met in the Hotel Blue parking lot in Lewes Delaware August 16th, 2013. 

A week and a half before Bill died, he told me "Something happened, I feel different. I want you to know that I want you and Pat to be very happy." 

Bill knew. 

Delaware Passes Right To Die Law

Me with the wife of my former dentist at their home office, September 221, 2004. I haven't seen this picture in years. Just popped up on my computer this morning. She lost her daughter at a very young age. She and her husband also retired down here to Delaware about the same time I did twenty years ago. I haven't seen them in ages. I usually ran into either one of them at the local supermarket. Either theirs (which I haven't been too in years) or mine (which is quite a distance from where they live. I will have to make a visit to their supermarket. Maybe I can run into here again. Both very good friends of mine for years. I felt so bad for them when their daughter died. Their daughter had just gotten married and was beginning her life. Yet another reminder of how lucky I have been in life to have lived this long and to have spent so may wonderful years with Bill. I have been truly blessed.

Delaware is the 12th U.S. jurisdiction to authorize medical aid in dying(10 other states plus Washington, D.C.) and the first to do so since New Mexico in April 2021. The law takes effect on January 1, 2026 or once the final regulations are formed to support the law, whichever is sooner.

I read this in my local newspaper a few weeks ago. 

For years the Delaware state legislature has been trying to pass this basic human right, only to have the Delaware governor refuse to sign it. Governor Carney (a Democrat) refused to sign this bill because it was against his personal beliefs. Unbelievable! 

I always thought our elected representatives were there to represent us. Apparently with Governor Carney his personal beliefs are more important than the general well being of his constituents. 

Well, I am here to tell you folks I was so greatly relieved when I read in the newspaper that this bill finally passed. 

As I have mentioned many times before, I am not afraid of death. As a matter of fact I welcome it now after a long and fulfilling and interesting life. 

I'll be eighty-four years old in November. I have led a very good life. Oh sure, a few bumps and scary parts but that's all part of our learning journey. That's why we're here folks, to learn. After this lesson our spirit returns to our true home. Some call it Heaven, others call where our spirit goes after death other things. Whatever you call it, I do not fear going to my true home and especially now that Bill, the love of my life has died and left me alone. I do so look forward to being reunited with him and all my friends, family members, former co-workers and pets in that Great Beyond, or whatever you call it. 

There were only two things I feared at this time in my life. I feared dying before Bill. Oh how I feared leaving him alone in this world. He didn't deserve that. I don't pray but I guess one could say I prayed to whatever greater power there was to let Bill pass before me. My prayers were granted. 

My other fear was, when I die that it would be a long, slow and painfully agonizing death full of indignities. Thank God Bill didn't have much pain during his slow descent from the time of his stroke in January of 2021 until his death in February of 2024. But he did have a great deal of discomfort.

He was blind, weak, confused and very unhappy that he could no longer do his projects. He hated being dependent on people for his daily existence. He had a great difficulty swallowing, and had swollen legs with open wounds. Not a pretty sight or way of existing during his final years. He often talked about taking his own life which I had to talk him out of. I had to convince him that him taking his own life would only create a great deal difficulty for me and more important that if he wanted to end his days here at his home, he couldn't do something like that. He loved Casa Tipton-Kelly and being with me so he suffered in his dependent existence on me and health care workers who regularly visited him during the final three years of his life. Again, perhaps the only saving grace during the last three year's of Bill's life was that he wasn't in excruciating pain. Discomfort? Yes, a great deal of it. Pain, no. Again, thank you Jesus! 

Now to me. How will my final days end? Yesterday, while at my computer looking at some You Tube accounts my Apple phone alerted me several times. At first I didn't pay attention to the alerts but then I looked. This was last night during the demonstrations in Los Angeles against ICE. I thought something had escalated so I looked at my Apply Watch. I was surprised to see that my Apple Watch was alerting me to the fact that my heart rate had just registered a low of 34 BPM! Wow! Apparently I was almost a sitting dead man at my computer. I got up and moved around a bit and got my BPM up to fifty. 

I did a little research and found that a slow heart rate could be a symptom of bradycardia. If I had bradycardia the relief could be an implementation of a pacemaker. I'm not there yet folks. But one thing I do know now, that if I did have a stroke, I have more options now. 

Hopefully that was just a one off last night while I was sitting at my computer. I know my blood pressure has been consistently up since Trump was elected. Me and millions of others. 

I didn't expected to spend my final years worrying about the destruction of America but there it is. 

One day at a time folks. But one big worry is no more, I have options now.

Accepting My New Life

Shopping at Cathedral City, California February 1, 2025

 Finally, I am coming to terms with my new life without Bill. 

I knew it would be bad when Bill died. But never in a million years did I think it would be this bad. It's bad folks, real bad. But I think I'm finally coming to terms with what my life will be like without Bill. 

Of course I will miss him each and every day for the rest of my life but I do know this, Bill's suffering has ended and he is in a much better place than all this turmoil here in this life we live and endure ever day on this earthly planet. 

All the cliches apply. I have all these wonderful memories of Bill which I relive every day. So many wonderful memories.  Even the rocky times we had, and we did have those, are all a part of my adult life with Bill. All treasured memories. And I do believe that when my life comes to an end, my spirit will be reunited with his. 

But for now, I am ready to adjust to my new life without Bill. My period of mourning is over.

I have developed my new routine now. Never again will I work at a job, full-time or part-time. I just don't have the physical energy and now I don't have the desire. I love that I have time to do all the work I can manage in my backyard. I absolutely love my private oasis here in southern coastal Delaware.

I love that I can get up anytime I want to. I was privileged to be Bill's full-time caregiver for the last three years of his life but it did take a toll on me. At this time of my life it just takes all my energy to take care of myself. My goal is to stay out of any assisted living facility. Since Delaware finally came to its senses and passed the Right To Die law, I am so relieved to know that should I come down with a fatal illness that I can pull the plug on myself. More about that Right To Die Law in a future blog post. 

Not only can I get up anytime I want to, I can lay down and take a nap anytime I want to.  For the first time in my life I have no obligation to anyone or any job. Freedom! I love it!

Tour of Backyard 5 27 2025

Hello folks! I'm still here, way behind on my blog posts though. I can't believe how busy I am even though I no longer have to care for Bill or have a part-time job. I am spending a lot more time in my backyard though. Casa Tipton-Kelly is a project of love for me. And I know Bill is with me when I'm out back in our yard perfecting "our" wildlife sanctuary. 

Right now the time is 8:03 PM. I have a little daylight left so I'm going out now to lay another wheelbarrow of mulch. I have a large pile I'm working on. The goal is to make that mulch pile disappear by July 4th!