|Me at Lenscrafters in Dover Saturday- brain scan next!|
The last couple of days I've been feeling sort of out of it. Off the rails one might say. There was no one specific reason. I thought maybe the reason was lately there has been more focus on my blog and what to write and not to write. I've always written my blog the way I think. Ironically, a few weeks ago I was criticized by a friend (who no longer reads my blog but who was the one who orientally urged me to keep a blog back in 2006 when I started on and then stopped for about a year), who answered when I asked him why "You write what you think." Duh, well...I didn't have an answer for that statement because actually, that is what I write on my blog. I think he was concerned that perhaps I would write about a confidence he told me. A justifiable concern for sure. But I wouldn't do that. And I was a bit surprised that he would think that I would.
Another concern is my partner. He's concerned with my language and some of my subject matter. His concern is always "What will the neighbors think?" Certainly a justifiable concern if I was go to into the blow by blow action (no pun intended) of my first (and second, and third and best and worst ad infinitum) sexual activities. But I wouldn't do that either and I was a bit taken aback that he would think so. Besides, my sexual acrobatics are nonexistent. Believe me, I'm one of the most boring guys around as far as that arena is concerned. You're not going to see a Circus Soleil of sexual prowess with this guy (that would be me). I'm more of the "relationship" type of guy than I am of the raw physicality of sex. To me, the physical act of sex has always been a "Is That All There Is" moment. Sorry folks, that's the way it's always been with me. Frigid Ron. Maybe that's why I'm still alive today when so many of my compatriots and acquaintances are long gone due to the Gay Plague. To me a dinner out with a handsome and friendly man was always so much more sensual than hopping in the sack for a quickie.
So anyway, I don't want to go too far down THAT road today. I'm proving the point again that some of my blogger friends have gently pointed out to me, "Sometimes I don't know where you're going with your blog but I read it anyway." Hey, that's me...unpredictable. Sometimes people think they can predict me but they are sadly mistaken. Many things I am not but one think I am and that is unpredictable.
Back to the subject at hand. I've been feeling a little out of it lately and I think that was because I felt I was being constricted on my blog. In my previous blog posting "Still Here" I expressed this concern. Almost immediately two of my most respected blogger friends sent me a comment reassuring me to write as I think and do not censor my postings for fear of offending a reader or two. Both of the were right in saying that those interested in my blog postings will continue to read them and those who are not, well who cares? I thought I did but I realize now that I don't. I can't live my life according to the way they want me to live my life. I can't be someone who I am not. I have to be me. Hey, isn't that the lyrics to a song?