|Delaware Memorial Veterans Cemetery Millsboro, DE|
A short answer, no. At least not as we know it now. How do I know? I don't but I do know is what I feel to the depths of my consciousness. The only thing that makes any sense to me is that our spirit our soul or whatever you call it, is dispersed at death. Maybe "it" goes to some plane in the universe and then comes together later in another form and returns to life as we know it.
We all have that feeling of "oneness". I have always thought I was unique in being the only person in the world to have that feeling until about ten years ago. Now I am willing to concede that maybe others have that feeling of oneness too. I don't know because I'm not in their body looking out. I can only speak from my own experience.
From my earliest memory, when I was about four years old, I felt like I was "returning" to this existence. Don't ask me how, it is just something I felt. Then as the years rolled by, I felt like I was going through the routine of living a "life" again. Again, don't ask me how I know, it is just something I felt.
My life has gone through several distinct phases. I think I am in the next to final phase now. The phase where I am entering Old Age. Although I will be 70 years old in a few weeks, I don't feel like an Old Man. I don't think like an Old Man. However, I am beginning to look like an Old Man. Much to my chagrin I might add. I have been very fortunate in that I have maintained a somewhat acceptable appearance for most of my life. This time around anyway.
I just can't imagine living my life as an ugly, short person or even a woman for that matter, not that there is anything the matter with being a woman, I just wouldn't want to be one. I am and always have been a tall, slim, somewhat pleasant looking guy with slightly above average intelligence. I am very happy the way I am. I would rather be me than a Bill Gates or Mark Zuckerberg with all their money. Really, I would. In fact I wouldn't even want to be a movie star handsome man because their looks quickly fade and then what do they have? I like myself just the way I am. Someone or something has been very beneficent to me This Time Around and I an appreciative.
At the young age of ten years old I realized that organized religion was a sham. A way to control people. That was the age I refused to be blackmailed by religion into praying my way into Heaven. Over the years I have occasionally questioned myself but I still come up with the same answer, there is Nothing there.
The past few years the deaths of the number of my relatives, friends, acquaintances and co-workers has increased greatly. We all have to go sometime. We just don't know when. What I do know is that I have lived the major portion of my life and I am now entering the phase of preparing for the Final Exit.
Do I fear the Final Exit? Only if it is very painful and humiliating. As I posted in a earlier blog, one of my neighbors, who is only six months older than I am, is in the now in the process of dying. I look out my window every day and I see the hospice care worker's car at his garage entrance. When I return home from working at the hotel I see the lights on in his bedroom. In life my neighbor was a selfish, prejudiced and very demanding person so I can just imagine what he is like now. I have a great deal of sympathy for his longtime partner that their ending must be this way; long, tedious, and painful. That is not the way I want to go. If I prayed, I would pray that I wouldn't go that way. Besides, by the time I am at Death's Door, I'll probably be by myself. My spouse just turned 83 years old this week. He's in good health but the odds are he will be gone before I will. That's what I'm assuming anyway. You just never know.
|Bill looking for Tim this morning|
This morning we visited the Delaware Veteran's Memorial Cemetery in Millsboro. We wanted to see our friend Tim's final resting place. Tim used to drive the American Legion Van to the Wilmington Veterans Administration Medical Center in Wilmington. Bill and I got to know Tim quite well. Tim was one of the Good Guys. Quiet, friendly, unselfish, undemanding and generous. We never heard an unkind remark come from his lips. He treated Bill and I with dignity and respect as he did all the others he transported to the Wilmington VA. He must have traveled thousands of miles driving us vets to the Wilmington VA. He never complained once. We both liked Tim a lot and were saddened when we learned of his death last September, only a few days after my Mother died.
|Veterans' Ashes at the Delaware Memorial Cemetery - The Wall|
To me when you die it is a win-win situation. Either you really are at Enternal Rest (the Big Sleep) in which you know nothing. Or, if there is some kind of "after-life" then you must be reunited with loved ones including pets. I absolutely reject the Christian notion that there is a Hell waiting for those who don't obey the rule to Praise the Lord while they're alive. That is the religious blackmail of which I spoke earlier. That just doesn't make sense to me. So either I'm going to take the Nap of the Ages or I'm going to see my little dogs again and those who I liked and loved during my lifetime. Maybe I'll even get to meet some of my ancestors so I can fill in those gaps in my family tree. Either way, that day isn't too far away now. As my former classmate Steve P. told me shortly before he died and I was at a loss for words he said "Don't worry about me Ron, I'm curious to see what is on the Other Side." Well said.