|My wise Bhudda this evening after I returned from my Friday Night Dine Out Group|
The sun has set but the heavy blanket of heat and humidity is still laying on the land here in my home of choice, southern Delaware. We're not used to this heat.
The temperatures here rose to 105 degrees. And this isn't the "dry heat" of Arizona. This is the heavy heat of Florida. We're not used to this heat. Man oh man.
So I ventured out into this oven of heat to meet with my friends for our weekly Friday Night Dine Out Group meeting. This week we met at the Texas Bar and Grill on Long Neck Road, somewhere down near the Indian River Bay (I don't remember the name of the community.)
|The Texas Grill on Longneck - it's OK but I wouldn't make a special trip there|
My friends Bob and Jim were there with their longtime unemployed houseguest Kenny. Kenny looks like a concentration camp inmate because of all the weight he's lost only eating one meal a day. Before I saw him tonight I didn't have much sympathy for his plight but after seeing him skin and bones, my attitude has softened somewhat. Not so much that I'm offering him a place to live but I do feel sorry for him.
If you all remember my friends Bob and Jim, both show signs of dementia. In the past I've helped them with installing a satellite TV in their home (they had no TV) and trained them into how to do e-mail (a waste of time because they promptly forgot what I taught them every time I left).
The last time I talked to them I had a falling out because I grew so frustrated with their dithering and confusion and hesitation on making any decisions. I'm not a care provider. I have no shame in admitting that fact. I have my good qualities and skills, caregiving is not one of them. I have little if no patience. It's all I can do just to take care of myself and my 82 year old spouse.
So it took me quite by surprise this evening when Jim asked me to fill in the function of "friend" in dealing with the woman who is selling her trailer to them. He said she is not using a real estate agent and their realtor advised them to "get a friend" to help them deal with her. Excuse me? A "friend"? Me? I don't so. Why would I want to step into that quagmire? Especially with my past experiences with Jim and Bob who absolutely cannot make a decision on ANYTHING. Why would I want to do that?
I have a hard time saying "No" but I did say "No" to Jim. He was taken aback but he shouldn't of been. Even if he did secure a "friend" to help him deal with a lady who is trying to save real estate commissions by selling her trailer herself, that wouldn't be guarantee that all the i's were dotted and the t's crossed. I advised him to get a lawyer. He said he did have a lawyer for the settlement. I asked "Why isn't the lawyer working with you during the whole transaction?" His answer? Jim is going to save a few bucks by not paying a lawyer. So he asks me to fill this function.
I turned him down flat. I advised him to spring for the few bucks and get a layer. Like me, he just inherited money from his Mom's estate so he has the cash to cover this expense. So I said "No."
Do I feel a little bit guilty? Sure. I like to be a hero to but I have to be realistic. I've dealt with Jim before and it's no picnic. Bob, my dear long time friend, is almost totally out of it. These guys need help. But that help isn't coming from me.
Maybe after all these years I've learned my lesson, no matter how much I try to help someone it always comes back to bite me in the ass. I've been down this road many times before. Maybe sometime I'll tell you about it. But for now I'm leaving these two friends to seek professional help, which I am not.