Sunday, January 12, 2014

Unicorns and Other Myths


Okey dokey folks, my previous post "Do Bisexuals Exist?" stirred up the all too predictable hornets' nest.  I'm not really surprised.  I expected the defensive and the "shoot the messenger" reactions.  I'm used to it ever since I subscribed  "The king has no clothes"  honesty towards the charades that some folks cloak themselves to get through their life for safety and comfort and money earning power. 


"Hey! The emperor has no clothes!"
Here are some other common myths:

Honest politicians. NO.  Doesn't exist.  In fact the term "honest politician" is an oxymoron.  

The Human Resources department is for the protection of the employee.  NO.  They are there to protect the corporation from being sued.  

Free Credit Report/Score.   NO.  There is no such thing.  You'll realize that when you key in your credit card number.  

You have won!  NO.  If you receive an e-mail, phone call or letter in the mail telling you "YOU HAVE WON!"  Sorry folks, you haven't won anything.  Just another way to get you to buy something.

The Olympics is for amateur athletes.  NO.  They're all professional athletes either before the Olympics or after the Olympics.  We're way past the days when Jim Thorpe was stripped of his medals because he received money.

The government will tell you the truth.  NO.  Doesn't happen.  From Three Mile Island to the false claim NSA doesn't monitor all communication of United Staes citizens.  They will always lie, always.  

TV reality shows are about real people living their real lives.  NO.  They may be real people but the shows are scripted.  Really.  They are. 

Truth in advertising - again, another oxymoron.


That's just a few off the top of my head folks.  I'm sure many of the readers of this posting can come up with many others.  Tell me some of your favorites.  

Oh, I can't leave before I tell you about the Three Greatest Lies in the World:


  1. There will be no changes after the merger
  2. Of course I'll respect you in the morning
  3. The check is in the mail












12 comments:

  1. Hilariously spot-on observations, Ron. But I must expand on "respect...in the morning." Nobody who's ever seen me in the morning could honestly confer any respect my way. Just not a morning person. I'm not respectable until noon --11 a.m. tops.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Geo.,
      Are you one of those "morning face" guys? :) Thankfully I'm not one of those but if I don't have my afternoon nap, I look like something the cat dragged in.
      Ron

      Delete
  2. "I'm from the government and I'm here to help you"

    "military intelligence"

    "this won't hurt a bit"

    "all you need is a screwdriver to put this together"

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    Replies
    1. Anne Marie,
      I was going to put "this won't hurt a bit" too! "Military intelligence", another oxymoron. Here's another one "This won't take long." And then there are the X-rated ones which I cannot publish in my family friendly, G-rated blog. We KNOW what they are don't we?
      Ron

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  3. Jane Wagner writes "No matter how cynical you are, it is never enough to keep up."

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    Replies
    1. Dr. Spo,

      I was wondering how long it would take someone to spot my inherent cynicism. I try to keep it down but sometimes it just bubbles to the surface.

      Ron

      Delete
  4. Ron, To add a number four to your list. I won't say it either, it's as we say "I won't *** in your mouth"! I'll let you choose if you want to publish my comment. People have told me that I'm terrible to which I answer "honey you have no idea". That's a line I got from Karen on Will and Grace tv show. Oh and yes your last post sure stir'd up the puddin'. Always a great post. Randy.

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    Replies
    1. Randy,
      You got it! That's the X-rated Big Lie that I was hesitant to print but you did it. Oh yes. :)
      Ron

      Delete
  5. I pretty much agree with everything you say EXCEPT, and EVERYONE should take note of this:

    "Free Credit Report/Score. NO. There is no such thing. You'll realize that when you key in your credit card number."
    Yes, it is there. AnnualCreditReport.com is 100% free, no credit card, nothing but your report. Stagger it, so you get one report every third of the way through the year. Good way to keep track of your credit report.

    Peace <3
    Jay

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    Replies
    1. Jay,
      Actually that is the credit report only, you have to pay for the credit score. I've gotten that credit report, I want the credit score. That's how they get you. Always a catch. More misleading advertising.
      Ron

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    2. If I REALLY wanted my credit score, I just go to the local Toyota dealership, and pretend to buy a car. Unfortunately, because of the hypnotic influence of that sky blue Yaris, that score cost me a little over 14 grand. But - HEY - seven years later, it runs like a Swiss watch, and gets 41 miles per gallon without the assistance of a four thousand dollar battery.

      "Life" has a wonderful way of sorting things out.

      "BZ" ..... "FOGGY" :)

      Delete
    3. Foggy,
      Excellent suggestion! However, it does seem that a clerk at Radio Shack has an easier time tapping into our credit score than we do ourselves. Having to pay to retrieve our credit score is just more proof that business lobbyist earn their money.
      Ron

      Delete