Sunday, January 26, 2014

Black Bean Soup and Bisexuals


What does one do on a cold Sunday day in January after reading on another blog that I am (quote):

"He's an opinionated, cantankerous old fart….."

Well folks, what can I say other than GUILTY AS CHARGED.  Sounds to me like I stepped on someone's toes and they is (ad grammar intentional) mighty defensive.  Actually what prompted that outburst was my refusal to disavow my many years of experience with so-called "bisexuals" (Oh no, there he goes again).  

Yes folks, this was the response from one of those guys who got married, had the kids and then decided late in life that they really are gay or, shall we say "bisexual."  (Oh no, he's NOT going there again is he?)  You know the guys, the ones who have the porno blogs with graphic images of YOUNG men, not old, cantankerous farts like me. The ones who hide behind "Anonymous" or fake names.  You know, the really brave guys who want to have it both ways, or in other words a "bisexual."  

Folks, I don't have all the answers.  For all I know there are bisexuals.  It's just my experience the only "bisexuals" I've ever encountered were gay men who either didn't know what they were, did know and tried to suppress it, or who just cannot take the risk of coming out due either to their fear social ostracization, job loss, or physical harm, all of which are still possible in all still too many pockets of ignorance and homophobia in this country.  

I'll say it again and again folks, homophobia will not end until everyone and I mean everyone comes out to friends, family, co-workers and neighbors.  As long as you stay in the closet you permit the ignorant and brain dead homophobes to control your life.  If you have a fear in coming out, that is quite understandable and doesn't make you a bad person but to attack those who tell the Truth as an "opinionated, cantankerous old fart" (actually a little too close to the truth in my case), is a cheap and cowardly way out of denying the truth.  

When I first read that comment about in a friend's blog (in the comment field) I let out a laugh "HA!" Then I got to thinking "Well, I actually am an OLD (72), cantankerous (can be, guilty as charged again), fart" (black bean soup will do that to you every time).  Then I got to thinking how sad I felt for this person who said it.  This is a person who is obviously living a life struggling with his own sexuality, having convinced himself that he was straight at one time but now that he's reached middle age he's found his "true self" and is now…..wait for it…..BISEXUAL. Yeah, and Elton John is bisexual too (at least that's what he says).  
Elton John - famous bisexual


Hey folks, have a great day and, by the way, here's the recipe for this great black bean soup.  You too can be a "cantankerous old fart."  Maybe not as old as I am (and I am OLD, believe me but then I don't lie about my age) but this soup will definitely get you to the cantankerous old fart category.  Enjoy!

Black Bean Soup (to make you an Cantankerous Old Fart)

2 15 1/2 oz cans drained black beans
1 1/2 cups chicken broth
1 cup medium Pace salsa
1 tablespoon cumin
1 to 2 teaspoons hot sauce

Rinse and drain the black beans in a colander
Place two thirds of the drained and rinsed black beans in a blender
Pour in chicken broth
Puree
Pour pureed mixture into large pan
Heat on stove and add remaining beans, salsa and hot sauce

Serve.  One bowl of this delicious soup and in an hour you can be your very own Cantankerous Old Fart. Enjoy!


Cantankerous Old Fart (after only one serving of  above black bean soup) - this could be you!







15 comments:

  1. I've never yet been called a "cantankerous old fart", but I'm sure I will. Give it time. At least someone is writing about you. Nobody ever writes about me.....

    I've said it before and I'll say it again. I do agree with your opinion that bisexuality is bullshit. I can only speak from my own experience (but I've had a helluva lot of experience). Bisexuality is a cowardly coverup for being gay. And I've been with enough hot married men to prove it.

    Speaking of HOT - - some hot black bean soup sounds like a good idea on this cold winter night. And later a hot married man under the covers (just jesting.....maybe).

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    1. Jon,
      We're in total agreement on this subject. Bisexuality is bullshit but like you, I can only speak from my own experience (and I have also had a LOT of experience unlike what some of the so-called bisexuals who are now in their late 40's and early 50's and are now blogging about their newly found sexual awareness for men). It may be blunt to say bisexuality is a cowardly coverup for being gay but that's what it is at its core. I find it interesting how hot under the collar the so called bisexuals get when you question them and thus shake up their comfortable and convenient "bisexuality". I too have been with enough hot married men to prove it. Not once, never did one of those men indicate or show me in any way that they preferred a woman over men. Never. Maybe if just once it happened I might give the myth of bisexuality some credence but never once. Never did that happen. It was always the married guys looking for sex with a man. Always. Again, at least in my experience which is quite extensive and for which I do not apologize for nor I am sure do you. I think what pisses these guys off if that they know they missed out on a lot. Coming out at 50 and denigrating a "cantankerous old fart" like me doesn't make up for the fact that they missed the boat and they know it. But then, each of us makes a life choice. For those who have families, I advise them to put their family first, especially the children and forgo the pleasures of the flesh with another man. If they need to get off, use Internet porn. The one reason I didn't get married was that I knew at 17 years old I wasn't going to ruin a perfectly nice girl's life by getting married to her just to prove something to myself of to hide. I've done a lot of stupid things in my life but that was the one right thing I did. The girl who wanted to marry me I hear had six children and I don't know how many grandchildren. And from what I hear she lead a very happy life and I'm happy for her. If I had married her, I would have ruined her life and mine as well. Good decision Ron.

      Make some of that black bean soup Jon. It's good. It'll give you gas though. Fair warning.
      Ron

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    2. Ron, you were very wise not to marry. Nothing is sadder than when a gay man marries and lives a LIE his entire life. The real tragedy is what this does to his wife and children.

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    3. Jon,
      I'm repeating myself but I remember clearing at that time, I was 18 years old and walking down the street with my girlfriend Vivian after the graduation party at St. Joseph's Lodge. I knew she wanted to marry me. I liked her, really liked her. Of course there was zero sexual attraction but she was pretty, kind, gentle, and intelligent. How could I go wrong? But then I thought "I can't ruin her life because of my own selfishness in trying to deny my true sexuality." To me the answer was a no-brainer. Of course I couldn't tell her why I couldn't marry her and I know I hurt her feelings by not going the direction she wanted me to go with her. I considered briefly marrying her and checking out the gay life "on the side" but again, that just wasn't an option with me. I didn't want to live my one life like that plus I never felt ashamed or guilty for being gay. My only concern was how was I going to live my life without getting beat up or killed by being identified as a gay man.
      Vivian wasn't the last woman I tried to go "straight" with. There was Peggy, and there was Maria and Judy. Never worked. I was never close to marrying any of those women. Well, maybe Peggy. But I just couldn't "get it up" so what was the point (no pun intended). But then I had no problem "getting it up" when I was around certain men.
      To this day I am so grateful that I didn't go down that ruinous path of marrying a nice girl/woman, having a family then screwing everybody up by "finding myself" late in life (late 40's and early 50's) and then discover I am a "bisexual." Give me a break. I've been gay all my life and always will be. Thank God I was smart enough to figure that out on that June day in 1959 whenI was walking down the street with Vivian.
      Ron

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  2. I don't know much about bisexuality but it certainly was interesting to read your posts and all the comments.

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    1. Nadege,
      I don't understand bisexuality and I doubt if I ever will but I did want to start a discussion and I certainly did didn't I? To me, whatever way anyone wants to live their life, as long as they're not harming anyone else, is fine with me. As Pope Francis said "Who am I to judge?" Indeed, but I did want to raise the question "Do bisexuals exist?" I still have that question because most of the replies I received were defensive and attacking me rather than answering the question. And of course the best answer came when my opinion was dismissed by Buddy Bear calling me "a cantankerous old fart." Well, now that's an "answer" to my question isn't it? Of course this was the kind of response that I was expecting and I wasn't disappointed. I'm still waiting for an intelligent and respectful answer rather than the answers that attack me. The old "shoot the messenger" syndrome which comes into play whenever someone brings uncomfortable but probably true news. I do like to puncture pomposity and self-delusion.
      Ron

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  3. Ron,

    Funny how some things subjects get lives of their own and bi-sexuality at least your posting about it is a hot subject for soooooo many. I'll just say apparently you "ain't heard the last of it yet". Whoever wrote the latest comment failed to realize that you were voicing your opinion based upon your experiences and you were only being honest. I had only had experiences with three different married men but found that I didn't have to teach them anything once we got into the bed they knew just what to do and just what they wanted. I'll leave you to figure out just what they wanted. Since I was in a committed? relationship I didn't feel I was "cheating" because the guy was married. It was also safe, no worry about being discovered. I rather enjoyed what I looked at as forbidden fruit (no pun intended) which made each encounter clandestine, this all happened in the 70's and early 80's so morality and acceptance was not what it is today.

    Black bean soup sounds easy and good. I don't need anything to produce a good fart, it seems that lately plain water will do it.

    Stay just the way you are and stay warm.

    Jack

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    1. Jack,
      As you pointed out in your comment, my opinion was formed from my own experience which is quite extensive. From the first man who I had sex with, a married man who seduced me and believe me he had to do a lot of talking over a period of a couple of months to get me to go to bed with him and past the kissing and hugging which is what I thought gay sex was all about in my 21 years old virginity naive experience, to many married men since that date in 1965 and even to this day. Now I'm an old man, a "cantankerous old fart", and I'm still being hit on by married men, albeit even grandfathers at this time in my life. Bisexuals? I say "WTF?" I've had experiences with a lot more than three different married men. A longtime friend of mine (same age as me and who I've known since high school) has had and still has an almost exclusive relationships with married men. He never partnered instead preferring to have sexual hookups with several married men, sometimes spanning 20 years or more with the same married men. I also know another guy whose adult sexual life is exclusive to servicing his stable of married men. Now maybe these men are truly bisexual but I just don't believe it. Of course I understand that some men prefer to live the conventional heterosexual lifestyle and even have children, I don't condemn that. Whatever works for you I say then live that life. But I just can't buy that they are this mythical "bisexual", which to me is a definition of a person who desires and has sexual relations EQUALLY with members of both sexes. Just doesn't make sense to me but then I'm only going from my own experiences and those who I know. I never once encountered one of these men who was eager to have sex with a woman. That aspect of their life always seemed like more of a duty than a desire.

      Hey Jack, that bean soup is really good. Try it!

      Ron

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  4. Clearly the nature of bisexuality is still under discussion. My guess is pretty close to yours so I'm probably a cantankerous old fart too. All I know is the country needs activists like you to create a social climate conducive to discussion. Not a project for the thin-skinned. It'll get sorted out --the future won't leave truth alone.

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    1. Geo.,
      I wanted to initiate a discussion on the subject of bisexuality and I did. I've always wondered "do bisexuals really exist?" because, as I said from MY EXPERIENCE the so-called bisexuals were married men who were really gay. They were either trying to suppress their natural inclinations of knowingly living two lives because they feared being identified as gay thus they took the easy way out by saying they were bisexual. Or in other words having your cake and eating it too (pun intended). Of course I knew I would trigger some anger, and vitriol but that's to be expected when one states one's own opinion. Interesting that the anger and defensiveness mostly comes from those who identify themselves as bisexual. That reaction to be seems like a bit of "One doth protest too much." And also the classic "shoot the messenger" syndrome appears. As I said in my blog post and several replies to the angry comments, my opinion was formed from my own experience, which was and is quite extensive. I never once, NOT ONE TIME, met a married man who I went to bed with (the first one being a married man who seduced me) that was bisexual. They all knew what they were doing and taught me things. No amateurs among those guys. And never once did I hear them talk about their desire to have sex with women, at least not like they talked about having sex with men. Maybe the mythical bisexual is out there but I never met one. One thing is true though, I am a cantankerous old fart. That I cannot deny. :)
      Ron

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  5. Anonymous7:59 PM

    I find this subject fascinating and forgive me but I haven’t figured out how to “register”…..I’m a straight woman so I have no dog in this fight but I know guys who claim to BE bisexual and I know more than one woman who lived a straight life…WAS straight until middle age when they met someone of the same sex and fell in love. I think it’s different for men and women but I believe it’s real

    I believe bisexuality exists if you define the ability or potential to be attracted, romantically and/or sexually to people of more than one sex or gender but not necessarily at the same time nor necessarily to the same degree or in the same way. I also think that attraction can, but not necessarily does, change over time. And there have been several studies done that support this idea.

    We all know that bisexuality was practiced widely in ancient Greece and ancient Rome. In Sparta, once the younger soldiers reached maturity the male-male relationships were supposed to become non-sexual and there was some stigma attached to young men who continued their relationships with their mentors into adulthood.

    In ancient Rome it was expected and socially acceptable (within certain boundaries) for men to want to have sexual relations with both men and women as long as he took the penetrative role. It was considered immoral to have sex with another man’s wife, or marriageable daughter or underage son or with the man himself. But men did indeed have partners of both sex and it was accepted and practiced widely

    Human beings and their appetites haven’t evolved in a few thousand years. If the majority of men were practicing some form of same sex behavior a few thousand years ago, we cannot assume that we have evolved to the extent that in 2014 only 7-10% of the population has ANY same sex desires and all those are exclusively homosexual… The basic biology is still the same. Some men (and women) I’m sure were exclusively homosexual even then. But when you take society’s expectations and how we’re reared and socialized out of the equation, I think you would find MORE people naturally bisexual rather than exclusively hetero or homosexual.

    But I agree with you completely that to lie to a partner or wife, in an effort to deny who you are, even if a guy or woman doesn’t completely understand it themselves, is a recipe for heartache for the innocent people who are unwittingly and unknowingly swept along. There I completely agree. Figure out who you are before you involve yourself with anyone, of either sex. Any partner deserves to know who they are tying their future to. But it’s way more complicated than simply gay or straight, I’m afraid.
    Anna

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  6. is black bean soup correlated with cantankerous farting?

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    1. Yes it is Dr. Spo. That's why I do not deny I am a cantankerous old fart because that is what I am. It is what it is.

      Ron

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  7. I think everyone is bisexual, in reality. A man who's straight can get it on with a gay man in the right place at the right time, just like a gay man can do it with a woman, if the inclination suits him. Sexuality is not that cut and dried. Sure most people are more one way than the other, and some are even exclusive (like me; never been a woman, but if you put Catherine Deneuve in my way...), and I've known guys who can go either way, depending on who they're attracted to. It's silly to lock yourself into a box of GAY or STRAIGHT. It ignores human complexity in hopes of simple answers to questions that cannot be answered simply.

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    1. JamTheCat,
      Well, I may be the rarity because I am totally homosexual. I have absolutely no sexual desire for women and will never, NEVER have sex with a woman. Do I gain an entry into the Guiness Book of World Records?
      Ron

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