Monday, December 10, 2012

Friends Move To Assisted Living

Bob and Jim's new home

Yesterday our longtime friends Bob and Jim moved into an assisted living facility.  

Brandywine Assisted Living Rehoboth Beach, DE

We also celebrated Bob's birthday (which is actually today).

The"Birthday Boy" at the private dining room luncheon yesterday at Brandywine

So what did I think of this new home for my friends?  I was quite impressed.  Really, I was very impressed.

The lobby of Brandywine Assisted Living
Haven't we all at one time or another feared that we would finish out our twilight years in a "nursing home" or now known as an "assisted living facility?"  I know I have.

I'm 71 years old.  Bill is 84 years old.  We're both in relatively good health but what would happen to Bill if I was no longer around?  He has no family.  What would happen to me ten or fifteen years down the road and I am by myself and not able to take care of myself any longer?

My friend Bob is fortunate in that he has two nephews (and their wives) who are taking care of their beloved uncle.  I have a nephew and several nieces. I have many more grand nephews and grand nieces.  Nice as they are I cannot see them taking care of Uncle Ronnie in his Closing Chapter.  In fact, I wouldn't want to put that burden on them.

Group Shot of my friends, his relatives and me (smiling in the center) at Brandywine yesterday
So I went yesterday not only to wish my friend a happy birthday and attend a private birthday party for him but to check out the facilities.  And I have to say I was very impressed.  

I think the biggest plus that I took from this assisted living facility, which is called Brandywine Assisted Living, was that my friends would no longer be alone and isolated.  That is perhaps my biggest fear as I get older, next to the fear of a long and painful illness where I am dependent on others.  Loneliness, that is my fear.

My friends won't be lonely in their new home.  And that made me feel good.  Not only for my friends but that I now know that I have another option if and when I grow old and find myself alone in the world.  

Bob, Jim and me - 1980
I don't plan on being an 85 year old Ron but it is definitely possible.  What I can't see is living by myself or, even worse, living with someone else.  There is only one person I trust in this world other than my two brothers and my sister-in-law (and a few long time straight friends) and that is My Bill.  If Bill should go before I do, I know I will be serious trouble.  Bill has always taken care of me.  Not that I can't take care of myself, I do, but I've lived the past forty-eight years knowing that I could always count on Bill to support me.  I cannot imagine my life without Bill.  That's why sometimes I wish I would prefer to go before Bill.  But then I worry about what would happen to Bill because he literally has no family.  Now I know the answer, Brandywine Assisted Living.

More about Brandywine in a subsequent posting but for now we're going to get ready to visit our friends Bob and Jim in their new home, and also take Bob a birthday card because today is his 76th birthday.  Happy Birthday Bob!

Bob (center) and me (right) at an earlier birthday party I threw for him in 1982 when we worked in Philadelphia, PA


  1. Yes, happy birthday to Bob! The 80's only feel like yesterday.
    There are some very nice "assisted living" places. They are very expensive but if money is not a problem or there aren't heirs depending on their inheritance money, it would be the perfect place. (I hope you have a will, power of attorney...).

    1. Yes Nadege, they are expensive but if I'm ever down where I need assistance and live that long I'll sell my house and use that money. If I live longer then he VA will kick in like it will do for my friend Bob, who I met while we were serving together in the Army. Same for Bill should I die before him. I'm not concerned about my grand nieces and grand nephews inheriting my money. Yes, I do have a will and a power of attorney.

      I was very impressed by this place yesterday. The only thi g I would miss would be all my possessions. I'll deal with that problem if the time comes. Of course I would have to have a computer and access to the Internet. My blog continues as long as I'm alive.


  2. I haven't thought that far ahead yet. I would visit my grandma in a nursing home and a few years later had a paper route that included the same nursing home and I learned early (10) that it was not how I wanted to go so I don't think about it anymore. But then they didn't have these kind of facilities back then and I never thought and still don't really think I'll make it to 50.

    However, I do threaten my parents, jokingly, with throwing them in one if they don't behave. :)

    I think the biggest reason you liked the place it because you were probably one of the youngest there. (accept for the staff) :)

    1. I'm not ready to go there yet Sean but it certainly is a option I would seriously consider if I ever got down.

  3. they are fortunate to have you as a friend.

    1. Dr. Spo,

      I feel bad for my friend Bob. He hates it there but it is a wonderful place and he needs it. His nephews and their wives took care of everything for him. I wish I had a nephew (I only have one) and nieces like that but I don't. I wonder what will become of me if I ever get down like my friend Bob.


  4. It is ones personal interest and perception whether he/she would like to live with assistance. Sometime the circumstances compels you to adopt such community. I don't think we should feel or think much about it. Live is beautiful and will be no matter where we are, if it is with family or Assisted Living community.


Comments are always welcome except from SPAM bloggers. I answer all comments. Have a great day!