Monday, February 23, 2015

Learning a New Humility

Today I learned a new level of humility.  Ever go shopping and have to dodge those handicap vehicles?  I have and to be honest with you, I'm usually annoyed.  No more. This morning I learned a new level of humility when I conceded the only way I was going to shop at B.J. Wholesale Club (me and Bill's main source of vitals) was to ride one of those dang things.

I was going to give Bill a shopping list but I knew that wasn't going to work.  Every time in the past I've asked him to get even one item in the store, he ALWAYS gets the wrong thing.  I just had too many things to get today plus I wanted to stock up so I wouldn't have to go as often since I'm wearing this leg brace.

So check out the video folks.  I have been humbled. By the way, shopping from one of those vehicles isn't all that easy either.  Reaching and looking at items, difficult when you're sitting that low.  And halfway through the shopping I thought I would have to abandon my vehicle because it wasn't running.  Thank goodness the green light came on again and I was able to traverse the five football field lengths of B.J.'s (which never seemed that long before my leg injury).



 This morning started out with a jolt. I awoke at 7:30 and realized my appointment at the healthcare campus was at 8:30 for my MRI.  No breakfast for The Injured this morning. 

Again, thank goodness for Bill.  I dressed quickly and Bill helped to get me in the back seat of my car.  Bill's driving now.  Usually I drive but who knows when I'll be driving again.  What do people who live by themselves do when they're in the condition I'm in?  I am so lucky in so many ways. 

Bill drives me down to the healthcare campus.  Of course I hobbled into the wrong building.  I always do.  I've been to this campus many times over the past few years. It's where I had my seed implants.  Also various tests and it is also were my dermatologist is located.  Oh yes, I've been cut, inserted, tested at this location plenty of times and yet, I always seem to get the wrong building.  

As I said, I hobbled over to the correct building rather than get in the car and get out, which would actually take longer.

They took me right away at the testing area.  Ever have an MRI?  It is LOUD.  Thirty plus minutes in a tube and LOUD.  What's with the LOUD?  The technician asked me what kind of music I liked so I could wear earphones to drown out some of the LOUD.
I said "anything but rap and folk music."  She choose "Fifties".  Gee, I wonder why.  So while listening to Bobby Darin singing "splash splash I was taking a bath . . . . " I was further radiated.  Heck, I gave up years ago having babies.  After my seed implants for prostate cancer, on of the lovely side effects is that I shoot blanks.  Yep, that's right folks . . . . nothing come out.  TMI?  Just telling you like it is folks.

After this procedure, which wasn't as horrible as I feared, Bill took me down to the hotel where I work.  My co-worker Monica was going to loan me her crutches.  That's right folks, Ron is on crutches now.  


Me in the backseat of my car (the only way I can ride with this stiff leg - I did this once before in 1962 when I dislocated my right knee - I have experience)

I've never used crutches before and I wasn't sure I could but you know what?  I took right too it like a baby swimming. I only use the right crutch though.  That seems to work best for my bum left leg.

So this morning, the day after the Oscars, I would have normally written about my criticisms and hosannahs about the Oscars.  Hey, doesn't Lady Gaga have a wonderful singing voice?  And what was that "making it all about me" moment when Sean Penn

Sean "It's All About Me" Penn


announced the winner for best Oscar.  See HERE. I know many of the Hollywood celebrities have outsized egos but man oh man, Sean . . . . get over yourself.  It's not about you man. Go back to Haiti and get some more good-two shoe points.  And how about poor Reese? She didn't get her Oscar so maybe her "You'll soon know my name" (when her and her hubby were stopped for suspicion of DUI and she took great umbrage that a police officer would actually QUESTION HOLLYWOOD royalty - she of "do not make direct eye contact with me to the servants") attitude will diminish, ever so slightly one would hope.  Did you see that forced smile her hubby Jim Toth had after Julianne Moore won for Best Actress?   


Actually. . . . embarrassing. Can you say "Jumped the Shark?"

I didn't seen the beginning of the Oscars because I was busy feeling sorry for myself while watching to God awful Netflix rentals. My pal Pat reminded me.  I tuned in just in time to see Oscar Host Doogie Howser Neil Patrick Harris  in one of his oh so fashionable skinny suits (this one was a shiny maroon)

The ubiquitous SCARF that some male celebrities wear to the special events.  What's with THAT? What are they going to an art show afterwards?  I thought that's the only place where one was ALLOWED to wear The Scarf.


looking like a deer in the headlights doing his  Oscar hosting chores.  See HERE: By the way, what was that THING with former Oscar winner Olivia Spencer that Neil kept trying to make funny?  I felt sorry for Olivia, one classy lady.  Neil, I like you but you sure ain't Ellen.  What happen to Neil anyway?  He actually made James Flacko Franco look good as an Oscar host. Of course James won't be around as Oscar host anymore because he and Best Buddy Bromance Boyfriend Seth Rogan are too busy with their next ridiculous script for a totally stupid, asinine movie for which they will be paid millions.  Who sees their movies anyway?  Are we really that stupid in this country that ANYONE would pay to see those two clowns again?  But I digress.  See what you missed by me not writing about the Oscars last night.  I should have been Tweeting all along but I forgot that too.

Just one more thing about the Oscars:  don't you love it when some of these guys (and almost always, it's the guy who are so pretentious with their messy hairdos and scarves) get up there and ALWAYS thank their WIVES, KIDS and last night one self-important discoverer of polio vaccine even thank (are you sitting down?) HIS DOG!  I hope he was joke (probably wasn't).  


"The Green Card Son of a Bitch Guy" (according to Mr. Self Important Sean Penn) director accepting the award for Best Picture - "Birdman"
Oh I can't help myself, more Oscar comments.  Didn't Jennifer Anniston look great?  Hey, gay man here but Jen looked HOT!


Perfect Jen!
And the gay in my of course LOVED Lady Gaga's outfit.  



Okay folks, I had fun here.  I feel like my leg is getting better (yes, I switched lanes).  My orthopedic doctor will analyze the results of the MRI I had taken today and tell me of the damage and what I have to do.  

I do so hope I can get back to my regular routine soon.  My appointment with him is March 9th. I'm ready for some GOOD NEWS.

22 comments:

  1. Anonymous7:09 PM

    Well, I hate that you had to endure the slip and fall but the silver lining to that cloud is that you and your sense of humour are in full form today (and not to mention Bill and his sixty-miles-an-hour comment). Making lemonade out of lemons.

    Too bad that you do not have a laptop because you could lie in comfort in your bed to blog.

    Canuck

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    Replies
    1. Canuck,
      That's what I'm planning to do, get a "bed desk" so I van lie in comfort in my bed to blog. I ordered the lap desk from Amazon yesterday.
      Ron

      Delete
  2. Anonymous7:21 PM

    Ron,
    I hope you get good news on the 9th!

    Best wishes,
    Calvin

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    Replies
    1. Thank you Calvin.
      Ron

      Delete
  3. Ron,

    What're you complaining about 'cause the guy said thanks to his dog? His dog wasn't named Ron, was it? No, it was his dog LARRY. And so, riding in your little cart, are you really and old geezer now? You need to get one of those grabbers to reach the higher items. I think I have one around here. It was my father's.

    Lar

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    Replies
    1. Lar,
      Riding the cart while shopping . . . . I have officially entered Old Man Territory. Bring that grabber down the next time you visit, I'll need it.
      Ron

      Delete
  4. Ron,

    Glad your MRI went well, even if you had to rush to get there. Looking to hear good news when you get to your appointment next month. I think you look great riding around in a cart!

    I gave up on the Oscar's half way though them. Not soon enough for the nearly nude segment, probably why I tuned out and off. I watched Lady Gaga's act today and she was fantastic.

    Cindy from Sonoma

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    1. Cindy,
      I agre, Lady Gaga is fantastic! What a pleasure to hear her sing those "Sound of Music" songs. I actually think she sounded better than Julie Andrews. Be well.
      Ron

      Delete
  5. Wow, Ron, you've covered so many subjects that I don't know where to begin. First of all, I'm glad that you have maintained your sense of humor and are able to get around - - even if it has to be on crutches or in one of those handicap carts. I admittedly HATE those carts and the annoying people who use them- - -BUT I believe that half the people who use them don't really need them. They're just jacking the "system". In your case, you DEFINITELY needed and I applaud you for maneuvering around in it so well.
    I sure hope that, in time, you will fully recover and be back to your "old" (no insult intended) self. You'll need to have two good dancing legs when you move to Hollywood.

    I laughed when you said you'd listen to any music but rap or folk. You should have included gospel in there, too. They would probably have taken one look at me and started playing Rudy Vallee records (TX and TN aged the hell out of me).

    I enjoyed your comments about the Oscars. I really wanted to blog about them this year, but I'm so completely bombarded with blizzards, injuries, and bad luck that I said "to hell with it". Incredibly, I like Lady Gaga - she has talent and looked classy.

    Don't know why, but I've NEVER liked Neil Patrick Harris. He's so FULL of himself that it's disgusting. His talent is minimal and he's not funny. AND he can't sing. When he appeared on stage in his undies, I think even the gays were embarrassed (yea, that includes me). What the hell did he have stuffed in his crotch? Socks??

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Jon.
      I would have loved to read your take on this year's Oscar ceremonies. I was never a fan of "Doogie Howser" and I don't think NPH is at all attractive. I saw bits of his previous emceeing events and I thought he was pretty energetic but he certainly didn't have the gravitas or natural humor for emceeing the Oscars. He won't be back.

      I cannot wait until I have full use of both of my legs again. This is such a bitch hobbling around. I had this happen once before when I dislocated my right knee in 1962 and had a cast on my leg for six weeks. And here I am again, with a leg brace. At the end of the day I am so exhausted just from doing regular activity like preparing my meals and walking around the house and even doing my blog. I have to sit at my computer in a very uncomfortable position with my left leg stretched out. Time flies and this time I want it to go by really fast so I can get back to normal. I didn't realize how much I do around the house here and how much Bill depends on me. And, I didn't think I would say this, I AM looking forward to going back to work.
      Again, let me stress to you to be very careful. I would hate something like this to happen to you, isolated as you are.

      Take care Jon.
      Ron

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  6. Ron, I think I might have posted my comment twice. If I did, I'm sorry about that! Jon

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  7. gee in your photos you have an uncanny resemblance to Pope Benedict XVI.

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    1. Laurent,
      Well, that's the first time I've been told that. (smile). I don't know whether to be flattered or . . . really? Cardinal Ratzinger? I look like him?
      Ron

      Delete
  8. Way back in my teenage years, I was on crutches for 3 months due to an unfortunate encounter with a skateboard. Despite the "ick" factor, I found metal forearm crutches - the ones that make you think of a poster for kids with muscular dystrophy or something - much more comfortable to use than the ones that go under your armpit. Hopefully, though, you won't need any kind of crutches for very long.

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    1. Carol,
      I'm using a combination of the cane and the crutch. Best would be nothing. I only use one crutch though. I am so careful not to put any pressure on that leg though because I don't want to do any more damage.
      Ron

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  9. Ron - loved your commentary on the Oscars. I didn't get to see them but I will check out Lady Gaga. Also liked the cart videos. If you ever have to get one please don't hang little stuffed animals all over it like some do up here. Glad you got thru the MRI okay. Some people freak out because it's so constrictive. Wow you sure do have a great sense of humour having to deal with all of this. Inspiring!

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    1. Pat,
      The MRI wasn't bad because my head wasn't covered. Just took a long time (30 minutes) and was very noisy but I had headphones playing Fifties music so it wasn't so bad.
      Ron

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  10. I had my first humiliating ride in the electric cart in 2009. You are so right about trying to shop from one.

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    1. Practical Parsimony,
      Believe me, I would rather be walking normally than shopping from one of those electric carts. I have a new found sympathy for anyone who has to shop from those carts.
      Ron

      Delete
  11. Accessible facilities and ADA standards make sense when they hit close to home. Big and little things make a huge difference in being able to participate in life. I hope you continue to feel better.

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    Replies
    1. David,
      This incapacity with the leg is still very inconvenient but I'm finally over the worst of my cold. That's what was really getting me down. Now for the results of my MRI which I will get next Tuesday, March 3rd.
      Ron

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