Results Of Doctor's Appointment

 

This morning I saw my urologist to discuss the results of my recent PET-SCAN. 

He was puzzled by the results of my PET-SCAN because even though I recent elevated levels of my PSA score, the PET-SCAN didn't reveal any traces of prostate cancer, even in my prostate.

He immediately suggested that I begin hormone therapy just to "slow down" any chances of the cancer returning. I immediately shut that down saying "No, I'm fatigued enough." I realize he was going through his usual protocol by suggesting this treatment but I'm not having it. I told him why and I related the story of my friend Rich S. who had both. radiation and hormone therapy and is now dealing with a urethra that is destroyed by scar tissue. My doctor seemed taken aback a bit which didn't surprise me. I think most doctors just expect that you go along with their suggestions. 

I told him I've done quite a bit of thinking and research about what I want to do should my prostate cancer return and spread. I told him that I'm 84 years old and I'm not getting any more treatments for anything. I also told him that should my prostate cancer return and spread that I will take advantage of Delaware's new right to die law. I asked him if he "was on board" with my decision because I would need his approval plus another doctor's. He said "Sure, anything you want." Then I told him I have lived a fabulous life and that most of my friends are gone now and I have no family to speak of so what is the point of continuing? Again, he seemed a little uncomfortable with the way this conversation was going. I continued. I told him that I took are of Bill the last three years of his life. How unhappy Bill was. I also told him of my late brother's three year journey trying to stave off his lymphoma cancer only to die cancer free but of organ failure. By now he was just sitting there listening to me. He knew I had made my decision. And that decision was "watchful waiting." A term much used by older men like me who don't want to go through the side effects of prostate cancer treatment. He then suggested that I se him again in six months after I get another blood test. So that's where I stand now.

Then I left in this smoky town that is Milton. The Canadian wildfires smoke has descended on Delaware.

Life goes on.

Have a great day everyone!

Doctor's Appointment This Morning

 

This morning at 10:00 AM I have an appointment with my urologist to review the results of my recent PET-SCAN. 

That PET-SCAN did not indicate that my prostate cancer had spread throughout the rest of my body. That's the good news. The bad news is that my PSA keeps rising at a rapid rate.

Six months ago, when my doctor noticed my PSA score dramatically increasing he wanted to start radiation and hormone therapy treatments to "get me a couple more years." He also wanted to do another biopsy to see if and how much of the cancer was still in my prostate gland. I turned him down immediately on both counts. He then suggested that I get a PET-SCAN and see him again in six months. That's where I am now today.

So today I will inform my doctor that I will not seek any further treatment for my prostate cancer. 

No radiation therapy.

No hormone therapy.

No biopsies.

At eighty-four years old, I am not going to subject this old body to more stressful "treatments" to hold the possible spread of prostate cancer. 

After seeing what my younger brother went through the last three years of his life with "treatments" only to die "cancer free" but of organ failure, that's route I'm not taking

After seeing my friend Rich S., who was first diagnosed with prostate cancer back in 2013 the same time I was only to have it return in 2019 and he got radiation and hormone therapy treatment only to have his urethra destroyed by scar tissue and now he has to pump his urine out of his bladder with a device while the doctors try to rebuild his urethra with flesh from the inside of his cheek, I'll pass on that "treatment" too.

I will tell my doctor the only thing I need from him is a diagnose of six months or less to live, if it should come to that. I may die of something else besides prostate cancer. It is well known that most men die WITH prostate cancer but not OF prostate cancer. 

I will tell my doctor that I'm taking the "Watchful Waiting" route. If and when my prostate cancer spreads, then give me that six month prognosis so I can make plans for my Grand Exit.

This is one thing I know, I will not leave this world the way my brother did or the way Bill did. I will leave this world as I am now. Fully functional and taking care of myself. No prolonged, undignified, dependent on others, exit for me. I know that is the usual way in our Western culture for dying human beings to go. I have decided to go the way I help seven pets of ours go, on our own terms.

Today is just a formality. After my appointment today I go back to my day to day living the best I can with my stooped over body, aches and pains, calcified heart and slipping memory. My main objective right now is not to fall and injure myself.

Have a great day everyone!

Healing

 

My damaged right paw

Hand is still sore folks. However, it is healing. 

I'm wearing an exam glove now to protect it from water.

I didn't realize how much I used my right hand until That Damn Cat laid his claws in it. I do have to say, he got a good strike. Five deep wounds. Ask me when the next time I will take care of that cat. 

Like NEVER.

Philadelphia Visit

 

Pat, Don and me in Center City Philadelphia a couple days ago.

The last two days we visited our friend Don at his home in center city Philadelphia.

We had a wonderful visit.

The weather was perfect. Cool, sunny and breezy.

I had difficulty in walking around so this was definitely my last visit to Philadelphia. I just don't have the strength any more like I used to in my glory days when I was young, beautiful and charming. Those days are history. Now I'm just a bumbling old man struggling to walk and not fall.

Pat has been and continues to be a wonderful caregiver for me. 

He has accompanied me to all my doctors' visits for the past two weeks. Unfortunately my PET-SCAN has been rescheduled again (the third time) for next week. Pat leaves early this Saturday morning. I'll have to endure that stress solo. What a nightmare it's been preregistering but I don't bore you all with the details only to say, I wish the people you talk to on the phone had English as their first language.

Getting ready to go out to dinner tonight again. Perhaps non Mexican this time but I have been imbibing quite a bit on frozen Margaritas. 

Way Too Hot

 

Way too hot outside. I'm just going to lay low for a while.

I don't have anything scheduled for the rest of the month. Pat arrives early next month. I have a whole series of doctor's appointments, including the PET-SCAN to see how far (if) my returning prostate cancer has spread.

These days I'm pretty much exhausted. I can't do much else other than go through my regular routines of the day. By the end of the day around 9:30 to 10:00 PM I'm pretty much done. 

Mom Was Always Right!

Me and my Mom 2010 (about three months before she died)

Good morning all! I have the rest of the month free (no doctor’s appointments)! Next month is a different story SEVEN DOCTOR'S APPOINTMENTS including a PET-SCAN to see how far my prostate cancer has spread. Appointments next month:

Labs

PET-SCAN

Urologist

Podiatrist

Hearing Aid checkup

Dentist

Dermatologist

And to think I used to tease my Mother when she was the age (84) that I am now. I said “Your life is just a series of doctor’s appointments interrupted by your life.” Her response was “You just wait, your time is coming.” She was right.

Mom's are always right!

Reconnecting With A Friend From My Past

 

Peirce College Broad and Pine Streets, Philadelphia
I took this picture November 4, 2016 during one of me and Pat's visits to Philadelphia. 

Sixty years ago, shortly after I began my employment at Girard Bank in Philadelphia, I began night school to take advantage of the GI Bill and start my college education. If you'll remember, I wasn't one of those "fortunate sons" that Creedence Clearwater sang about. My family circumstances weren't such that I could attend college after graduation from high school. Hell, I couldn't even get a job so what do low income white folk like me do? We join the service. Army in my case. No bone spurs here. Actually I failed my first Army physical and had to have an operation (I was born with a hernia) before I could try to enlist again. I had the operation, contacted a staph infection, spent most of the rest of my graduation year in and out of hospitals and three surgeries until I was able to join the Army in January of 1960.

Three years later I departed the Army. I would have stayed in but at that time if the Army found out you were gay you were discharged with a "less than honorable discharge" which meant that you couldn't receive the benefits that were offered upon joining (health care for life). I had a good job in the Army at the National Security Agency at Fort Meade and could have easily transitioned to a civilian status but still, since the National Security Agency was a government agency and former President Eisenhower's edit of "no fags in the Army" was still in effect, based on that if someone found out you were gay like the Russians they could blackmail you into turning over state secrets. Of course this is circular logic because if it wasn't against the law to be gay then one couldn't be blackmailed. And another thing, there was never one case of any homosexual being blackmailed by Russians or any other potential enemy of the United States but such was the ridiculousness of the "laws" back then. But I digress.

I left the Army in January of 1963 and proceeded to have several jobs before I landed at Girard Bank in Philadelphia. While at the bank I was encouraged by my boss to take American Institute of Banking courses at a nearby college, Peirce Junior College (now know as "Peirce University") which was just up Broad Street several blocks from Girard Bank which was located right across from the Philadelphia City Hall. I signed up for those courses which I would attend a couple nights a week after my workday. One late afternoon while I was walking up Broad Street after work I encountered a coworker from the bank where we both worked. We didn't work in the same department but the same bank. His name was Rich (no last name to protect his privacy). We became friends and would meet each other after work and walk together up Broad Street to Pine Street to attend Peirce, a college founded after the Civil War. No campus this college, just an old, magnificent building from the 19th century. 

Me in front of Peirce College, November 14 2016

During one of our walks together Rich asked me what college courses I was majoring in. I told him I was only attending the AIB courses. He said "Why don't you take college courses? You're going to the same building and the Army will pay for it?" He made a good point. No one in my immediate family family had a college degree and I was the first one to even graduate from high school. Both of my parents had quit high school including one of my two younger brothers. So I applied for the GI Bill and was accepted. The United States government sent me a monthly check, which was substantially more than I was paying Peirce. So actually for me attending college was like a part-time job after work. 

Thus I began attending night school, three nights a week, for the next four years. After I completed my courses (I majored in Business Economics), and attained my Associates Degree, I decided I had enough college. No more term papers for me. Ironically my term paper was "The Emerging Republican Majority." At that time the Democrats were in charge of the House of Representatives for forty years. I never thought in my lifetime would I ever see the Republicans in charge. Oh yes, I was a registered Republican at that time. I've since corrected that mistake when George Bush and Dick Cheney tried to take away my veteran's benefits in 2000 to give another huge tax cuts to their rich and powerful friends. That my friends is a subject for another whole blog posting if not a book. But again I digress.

My friend Rich went on to complete his education at the University of Pennsylvania, the Wharton School of Economics. You know, the one Trump brags about attending and graduating with "honors" even though no one can seem to find those records. Yes, that one. 

At that time I was young and full of hormones and I wanted to have fun. Rich was in a different situation. He had a wife and three young children, one of whom was autistic. He had different priorities than I had. He also went on to great success after he got his four year degree from the University of Pennsylvania.

Over the years we kept in touch by Christmas cards. That's a habit of mine, people I like I send Christmas cards even though our lives have taken us in different directions. 

Fast forward to the year 2013. Rich called me on the phone, the first time we talked since the late Sixties. He told me he had prostate cancer. Just so happened that was the year I was also diagnosed with prostate cancer. 

He was trying to decide what treatment to take to control his cancer as I was also trying to decide. He took a different route than I took. He decided to have his prostate removed. I didn't want to do that because of the chance of being incontinent and loss of sexual drive. 

Fast forward to about six years ago. His prostate cancer returned. When I talked to him then he hadn't decided what treatment he was going to get. Then I lost touch with him.  This was about the time that Bill fell and was unconscious with a brain hemorrhage and ended up at Thomas Jefferson Hospital in Philadelphia in the ICU unit then rehab for a couple more weeks. The following three years I was his full-time caregiver until he died two years ago this month. 

Now that it seems that my prostate cancer has returned I wanted to call Rich to find out what treatment he got. By the way, Rich and his wife have since moved down here to Delaware for the same reason I moved, to escape the high Pennsylvania school/real estate taxes. 

Yesterday I talked to him. He decided to get the same treatments my urologist was recommending for me, radiation and hormone therapy. Rich said they "screwed up" with his radiation. The radiation destroyed his urethra. He had to have a flesh replacement from his cheek to rebuild his urethra. Even so, he needs a pump to get urine out of his bladder. So folks, do you think I want to take that chance? No way. He said the hormone therapy worked out better for him except for the hot flashes. I don't want to go that route either. 

My mind is made up now and I'm comfortable with my decision. No further treatments for this eighty-four year old. Why would I do that? I can understand why others would choose different treatments and I respect that. They want to live for their family. I don't have family. I have Pat. We live apart. I have no children nor grandchildren. Most of my friends have already died. I have a small circle of friends that I've acquired through this blog. I have good neighbors but that's it. They live their lives and I live my life. I'll take as many years of normal living I have left but I am not going to take extra ordinary lengths to extend my life with all those deleterious possible side effects of further medical treatments. Just not worth it to me and the quality I life I want for my remaining years.

I will make my wishes known to my urologist and my primary care doctor at the VA. If I get to the point where they determine I am terminal (after all, we're all "terminal" aren't we?), set a date and I'll make arrangements on my on terms for a graceful exit from this life. 

I am totally comfortable with my decision. I've had a wonderful life and I will go out under my own control which takes a great burden off of my mind. I never had a problem with dying or death, it's all part of life. The only problem I ever had was how we get there. In our culture it's often brutal. We show more compassion to our pets at their death. Now with Delaware's Right To Die Law, if I get a prognosis of six months or less to live, I can choose the time and place of my departure from this fabulous life I have had the past eighty-four years. Then to Heaven to be reunited with Bill

and all our pets and others who I have loved during this lifetime. It's all good folks.

New Year 2026

June 22, 2002 - me and three of my high school classmates from Class of 1959 at a class reunion. The man on the left contacted me because he knew he had terminal brain cancer and wanted to see his classmates one more time. He had already lost an eye. He was a former Buddhist monk. He died peacefully with is wife by his side about six months after this picture was taken. I'll always remember what he told me when he first told me his cancer was terminal. I didn't know how to respond and I said "I don't know what to say." He r responded "Oh, that's alright. I was always curious to see what was on the Other Side." I always remembered him saying that. Now I may find out myself in the not too distant future. The guy in the back also has passed on. He also died peacefully. He was going to go out one Saturday morning shopping with his son when he told his son he wasn't feeling good and he sat down in his favorite easy chair. He died a short time there after. That's the way to go. He was also my inspiration. The woman in the front, who I had a crush on in high school (I sat behind her in home room, we were seated alphabetically, her name is Timmerman and mine Tipton - that's the way they assigned students seats in the last century, is a longtime cancer survivor and is still making waves, God bless her!

 

Here we are in the new year of 2026.

Happy New Year everyone!

This new year I am faced with the question do I jump on the medical treadmill again to fight the possible return of my prostate cancer? I'm of mixed emotions about what decision to make. At my age do I even pay attention to my prostate cancer since it is the slowest growing cancer and I'll probably die of something else? Or do I begin treatments and possibly go down the road my younger brother went down a few years ago? My brother had a blood disease. He went three years of grueling treatments. He died cancer free. His cause of death was organ failure. Yes folks, "The operation was a success but the patient is dead." So this is the question I am facing this new year. I haven't made my decision yet.

My doctor wanted to remove my prostate but I said no. I'm not going to take a chance of being incontinent the rest of my life. I've known too many men who had their prostate removed and they were incontinent. No thank you, that's affecting my quality of life and I have a bad enough time of it as it is with my arthritis and mobility problems. I don't need to add a catheter and a pee bottle on my leg. 

He also wants to take a biopsy of my prostate. I may do that but not right now. I had that done before, without anesthesia, and it is no picnic. And don't anyone tell me otherwise, I know for some it was "no big thing." For me it was very painful, humiliating and bloody. I go from my own experience. My doctor told me he would put me to sleep if I decided to have another biopsy. That's the only way I will do it. My previous doctor, while maybe technically competent, had a terrible bedside manner. It was all money, get as many patients in as possible and out as quickly as possible. God forbid he should miss bringing his billings from Medicare down. As I said, an awful bedside manner. Never had more than a minute or two to talk to me. Always in a rush. That's why I changed doctors. I wasn't alone.

What my doctor and I decided to do was wait six months, take my labs again (blood test) to check my PSA score again to see if there is any change, up or down. Probably not down, if it just stays steady that would be a good sign. We've also schedule a PET-SCAN for me in June to check my body to see if the cancer has spread. When my doctor first told me about the PET-SCAN "to see if the cancer has spread", I didn't fully digest the import of that statement. But now I do. He's dealt with hundreds if not thousands of prostate cancer patients like me and he should know. I know there are two men I know who had prostate cancer treatment years ago, and that prostate cancer came back and they died of it. Of course I could die of something else, but I suspect the prostate cancer is the medical condition that is going to take me out. God, I hope I don't go like Bill. It was a long drawn out process for Bill too, although I did turn down the treatments the doctors offered for that 90 year plus old man. One was opening his skull to ease the swelling on his brain after he had a stroke and fell and had a brain concussion. I opted out of that one for Bill and I'm glad I did. I took my chances. I did that because I asked the doctor what would be his chances of recovery if I approved that procedure. He said "Bill would probably not survive and if he did he would be a vegetable." Yes, that's what he said. Why did he even ask me then?  That was an easy decision on my part. Bill also had problems swallowing, he could only take liquids. His esophagus was shredded. The doctors suggested an operation but I turned that down too because Bill's chances or survival from that operation as a 93 year old man were minimal. I think sometimes these doctors want to experiment on old men in this vulnerable state. 

Bill wanted to die. Actually, he didn't want to die because he wanted to be with me but he was suffering so much he welcomed death. When his time came, the last three days in hospice, I watched him on his bed, mouth agape. No water, no food. Just an occasional sponge on the lips. I often wondered what was going on in his unconscious mind. I am horrified to think that may be wanted to get out of there. He did struggle to get out when they first took him in. They had to increase his dosage to keep him unconscious. I swear to God, we treat our animals better at Death's Door than we do our humans. At least now Delaware has a right to die law which went into effect today. There was a last minute court case trying to nullify the law but a judge threw it out two days ago. There's always some busybody trying to tell others how to live their lives of end them.

So now on this New Year's Day I'm looking at six months of living my normal life, or as normal as it has been for an 84 year old with mobility problems who likes to sleep a lot. Then come this June I check to see if I my prostate cancer has returned, and if it has, do I get treatment or not. Don't feel bad for me having this decision on my mind for the next six months, I've actually had this on my mind for the last thirteen years ever since I was given a prostate cancer diagnosis. I always knew it would return one day, I'm just fortunate it took thirteen years. I still have my mental facilities, can move around and live independently. I can still see (Bill was blind) and I can swallow food. All plusses. I'm a lot better off than many my age and of course, I'm still alive after many of my contemporaries have long since left the scene.

One thing I know now after contemplating my mortality. If and when I die I can't take anything with me which at times saddens me but now I'm coming to realization that "things" aren't important in life. Yes, "things" comfort one in life but what is really important is love. The love you give and the love you receive. I think those are lyrics to a Beatles song. Whatever. I know now that's why I met Pat because for many years, when I first became aware that I wasn't immortal, I didn't want to die alone. I assumed Bill would die before me. I actually preferred that because I couldn't bear to leave him alone in this world. Bill wanted us to die together but that probably wasn't going to happen unless we were in an automobile accident and we which (gallows humor) often joked about "It would hurt too much."

I think my life is going according to plan. I met Pat thirteen years ago, just about the same time I was diagnosed with prostate cancer. In fact he thought he lost me just after he met me. One of the first things I told Pat was "You're the one is going to hold my hand when I pass on." He thought I was being overly dramatic (which I tend to be) but I was serious. Now that Pat and I are married, should that time come, there will be no complications that my husband will be with me when I make that Final Journey. A Journey that all of us has awaiting for us sometime in the future.

What a New Year's post huh? Just posting about my life folks, as I've always done since I began this blog twenty years ago. My little post script for history should someone one hundred or five hundred years ago find and wonder what life was like for schlubs like me way back in "ancient times."

My belief is that we're just here on earth to learn a love. It is as simple as that. We're not here like it's some test to pass before a vengeful God an we're judged at our death if we're good enough to get into Heaven. No, that's not why we're here on earth. This is just a school live we went to school first grades through twelve. We're here to learn. After we die we get a review of our life, not judgement but just a review to see what we did good and what we could do better. I believe this. By the way, Bill was back again last night via that burned out Christmas light. He was blinking away wishing me a happy new year.

I'm pretty sure when I go, which will happen one day, no one can dispute that, I will be reunited with him and I will be reunited with our pets and my family including my brother, Mother and father. I'm also looking forward to reuniting with old friends who made the crossover many years before now. 

Remember folks, life is all about learning and loving.

Now, on this first day in the year 2026 I begin this new chapter of my life. And what a life I have had and continue to have!

Face Plant

 

Yesterday, early evening, as I was returning to my house after checking my neighbors' mail (they're away for the holidays), I did a major face plant on the grass right in front of my back deck.

OUCH! 

Thank God I didn't do this face plant on my driveway, or else I would probably have done serious damage. 

What caused me to stumble and land face eating dirt pie was a rise in the ground where I have my drain pipe extensions. I just don't lift my feet enough.

I don't think I broke my nose but it is sore as can be. I also have a bruise under my left eye (I must have landed on an angle), slight scratch on my forehead and a slightly bloody nose. My nose is very sore.

The last time my nose was this sore was when I was about thirteen years old while I was playing basketball in my high school gym class and the basketball rebounded right under my nose. I think that basketball broke my nose because ever since then I've had a bump in my nose and nasal problems. I guess I should have gotten it fixed at that time to avoid the lifelong nasal drainage problems I've had ever since. But, water over the dam and all that.

This is the first big fall I've had in several months. 

I've been so careful. I know the Number One health hazard for older folks like me is falling. 

NUMBER ONE

If you'll remember about ten years ago I slipped and fell on the ice after leaving my job at the hotel where I worked and dislocated my left knee. Standing up with all my body weight I tore my left leg quadriceps  muscle. What a nightmare that was. I was out of commission for three months for the healing when I had to have surgery to tie that muscle back together. Back then Bill was well enough to take care of me. Now I'm all alone here at my house. Pat is in Canada with no plans soon to move down here in slower lower Delaware. We talk every day on FaceTime but that won't help me if I'm laid up. I'll just have to be more careful.

I know my problem is that I don't lift my feet enough when I'm walking. What's the solution, to walk around like I'm in a cow pasture avoiding cow patties?

High Blood Pressure

 

The thugs running my country now.

This morning I went to my local VA Outpatient Clinic for my six month checkup. As I was waiting for them to call me I took this picture of the new leaders of my country (the United States of America) and the new VA Secretary. Notice that Trump's picture is his mug shot that was taken during his arrest in Georgia for asking the Georgia Secretary of State to "find him enough votes" to win the 2020 presidential election in Georgia that he lost to Biden. Here is exactly what he said:

"All I want to do is this. I just want to find 11,780 votes, which is one more than we have, because we won the state."

Later in the call, he pleaded with the officials:

"So, what are we going to do here, folks? I only need 11,000 votes. Fellas, I need 11,000 votes. Give me a break."

This from Trump, whose whole life has been cheating and fraud. 

These three pictures "greeted me" this morning just shows how far my country has fallen. 

As I was contemplating the sorry state of my country, I was called in for my appointment. My blood pressure was taken. It was 203 over 83 thus confirming what I have always feared. I'm going to die before my country gets right again.

Shame on those cowardly Republicans in Congress who have betrayed their oath to the Constitution when they were sworn in to provide a check on Trump and his thugs abuse of power. Shame on those who voted for Trump and those who were too lazy to not even vote that have caused this grave risk to the democracy in this country that I (foolishly) always took for granted. 

Shame. Shame. Shame.

Mosquitos!

 Those damn  darn mosquitoes!

They got me this time! 

They got me good!

For the past several days, since I set up Bill's Memorial Flower Garden, my ankles have been itching and giving me a lot of pain. At night the pain wakes me up so much that I can't get a decent night's rest.

At first when I was waking up with the pain in my ankles, I thought I had acquire another Old Man malady of further deterioration of my body. 

"What could this be?" I'm thinking. "Amputation of my legs below my knee?"

"I have to walk!" I'm thinking if I'm going to continue living independently. 

I was even considering paying another visit to my local walk-in clinic for an evaluation. I'm glad I didn't. I finally figured out what was wrong during one of my Scratch Sessions that I finally succumbed to because the itch was so bad. 

MOSQUITO BITES! 

Now how did I get those? I raked my brain and considered where the mosquito bites were. They were in the area between my 32" pant leg and my waterproof garden shoes. Viola!

MOSQUITO BITES! 

Those sneaky little bastards!

I didn't even hear them. Usually you can hear the distant whine. Oh no, not this time.

I remember exactly when I was working (edging) Bill's flower garden around the transformer. Early evening, following yet another one of those brutal hot and humid days! Ah yes, they were having a feast on my ankles.

I counted the bites (bumps in my skin) and there are about a dozen. Man oh man, one mosquito bite is enough to bother me for about three days.

Usually when I venture out I wear my mosquito net hat and combat boots. Last week, one day I only wore my ball cap when I went outside in the early evening to change the pond filter, those damn mosquitos got me on my neck and behind my ear.  They must really be hungry!

The only relief I could get from the mosquito bites is to put a cold wash cloth

over the infected area. That's all right when I'm sitting down but when I'm thrashing around in bed at night with my mouth wide open (I almost always wake up mouth fully agape and wide, resulting in a bad case of dry mouth), the cold cloths aren't as affective. Like last night, those wet wash clothes were not on my ankles but uselessly on my sheets adjoining my feet. 

Just another day in the life of Old Man here trying to survive with minimum stress. One of the reasons I put my fish pond in was to attract one of the mosquitos biggest enemies, the deadly dragonfly.

However, so far this season only two dragonflies have taken up residence at my fish pond which is located at the far end of my property. Bill's Memorial Flower garden is located in front of my house, a direct diagonal from my fish pond. I guess that location is out of my resident dragonfly's territory.

Tomorrow I plan to write about my all morning effort to contact my water company from turning off my water this Thursday. WTF? I paid my bill! When I called this morning, ready to blast them they thwarted me with the "All our lines are experiencing high than usual volume." Yes, I was in that "waiting for someone to come on the line" Hell. 

More stress.

I'm going to destress now and take a ride to Milton and get some Cortisone 10 for my still itching mosquito bites.

Have a better day than me folks!

Can't Sleep!

 

Look familiar? It should, I posted this picture last week after I got up for my nocturnal bathroom visit and couldn't get back to sleep. 

What's going on?

I rarely have trouble sleeping, especially at night even after I get up to go to the bathroom.  But here I am at 3:15 AM in the morning and I'm wide awake. 

Maybe it's because I take two hour naps in the afternoon (from three to five PM). Or maybe something else is going on. Now I'm starting to get concerned.

So what to do? I'll do what I did the last time I couldn't get back to sleep, which was just last week. I'll do my regular morning routine until I feel sleepy and go back to bed, no matter what time.

Today I only have one thing on my agenda to do, and that is to vote early.  I'll be voting in a special election to replace my state representative who resigned. 

Yesterday afternoon, as I was talking to Pat I heard my doorbell ring. I thought "Oh here we go again, another salesman." I told Pat "Hang on, you can listen to me and I take care of this." 

When I went to the door I saw these two ladies. They introduced themselves as working for my local Democratic candidate Alonna Berry. Oh! This is great! I was hoping the local candidate would stop by and ask for my vote. I really appreciate it when they personally ask for my vote. 

Me with the lady urging me to vote for her candidate Alonna Berry which I will today!

The twenty years I've lived here in Delaware I've had candidates of both parties stop by and ask for my vote. I was disappointed that the candidate, of both parties, neither one stopped by to ask for my vote. 

I thanked the ladies and invited them in. They were very happy to be greeted so warmly and I was happy to see them. 

I introduced them to Pat (who was still on FaceTime) and got them each a cold bottle of Deer Park spring water. It's hot outside. 

They were so nice! We had a nice little chat, took some selfies, and had some laughs. I told them that Pat and I were going to be married. They loved that and went back to Pat on FaceTime to congratulate him. Both of these ladies had worked tirelessly for marriage equality in Delaware. Then I had a fabulous idea, would they like to be our witnesses at our wedding? They said "YES! Absolutely! They would be honored!"

Me taking a selfie of the three of us. What's with the blurred photo Ron? I guess I was nervous. Darn! 

Fate works in miraculous ways doesn't it? I've been searching around for two people to be witnesses to our wedding. I had asked Judy D. who along with her husband Jack were witnesses to me and Bill's wedding. Jack and Judy have since moved to Pennsylvania and Judy said she couldn't promise because she didn't know what their schedule would be but she would be honored.   

Jack and Judy D., witnesses to my wedding to Bill July 3, 2013

They have seven children and scads of grandchildren and they often travel to visit and attend family events. I sensed that this time maybe not and I didn't want to put that pressure on them. They knew Bill for a longtime and although they have met Pat (at my 60th high school class reunion - Judy is a former classmate of mine), they didn't have quite the closeness to Pat. I understand that. I also asked a guy who I only know from meeting him and his late partner when Bill and I got our wedding license at the Sussex County Courthouse along with many other gay couples July 1st, 2013, the first day when same sex couples could marry in Delaware. I saw on FaceTime several months ago a video of his wedding ceremony to his new husband. Even though I didn't know him personally, having only met him and his late partner that one time twelve years ago. I contacted him by e-mail and asked if he and his new husband would like to be witnesses to me and Pat's wedding. He said he would but I suspected he was just being kind.

I asked the guy in the yellow pullover, his partner/husband to be is to his right. He has since died as has Bill. Sad. The guy in the yellow pullover has since remarried. I saw his wedding ceremony to his new husband on Facebook. It was very touching. I was so happy for them. Soon it will be my turn to be happy again when I marry Pat and these two ladies, who Fate brought us together, will be the perfect witnesses to our wedding since they have done so much to bring about marriage equality in the state of Delaware.

Again, I don't really know him except for that one time. And as you know I don't participate in the local (Rehoboth Beach) gay community. That of course being a subject of several previous blog posts of mine which I won't go into now and perhaps never again. That dead horse has been beat enough. So yesterday was the perfect opportunity because these ladies were so nice. Of course photos and videos will be posted on this blog when that event happens. The only hurdle left to be and Pat getting married is him passing his interview this coming August 7th at the American Embassy in Montreal. Keep your fingers crossed for us.

Okay, another blog posting finished. As regular readers know whenever I write a blog posting I never know where I'm going. I just sit down in front of my iMac and place my nimble fingers on my computer's keyboard and let my fingers fly as text flows from my brain to my fingers. That's the only way I can blog folks, stream of thought. And this early in the morning I'm not being interrupted. 

Now onto my regular morning routine and hopefully I'll get sleepy again and grab a few more hours of sleep before I head out and early vote for that Democratic candidate those wonderful ladies who visited me yesterday urged me to vote for.

Have a great day everyone!

Update on Hearing Problem

 

This is a picture of my father, Isaac "Ike" Tipton, Sr. taken in August of 1990 at his three and a half acre home outside of Downingtown, Pennsylvania. This picture has nothing to do with this blog posting but I came across it while looking for another more appropriate picture for this posting but I found this one intriguing. We had a complicated relationship which I've written about often in this blog. I will write more about that relationship in future posts. I don't think he ever liked me and the feeling was mutual but he was my father. Ironically I am a lot like him much to my chagrin. I even look like him!

Yesterday I had my long awaited appointment with my ENT (ear, nose and throat) specialist. Yes, I have all those problems. 

Remember when I wrote about my left ear plugged up after my trip back from California? I thought I was going to be in that condition for the rest of my life. Well, thank goodness my ear is clear now. I can hear out of it, with the help of my hearing aids, perfectly now. 

When I initially went to the doctor the ENT center, they discovered I had a dried blood in my inner ear which was causing the "plugged" sound. They scheduled a CAT-SCAN for me. Yesterday I got the results. Turns out the dried blood has dissipated. I was curious and asked "Where did it go?" thinking do I have dried blood flecks floating around in my brain.  She (I forget her name) looked at me bemused and said "It just goes away." Oh, okay (I guess). The important thing is that I can hear now! I told her about my ear problem every time I fly in a plane. She said a blood vessel had probably burst because of the pressure, which prevented my ear drum from bursting. Well, when I heard that information I told her "That does it! I'm not flying anymore!" 

This short video was taken September 6, 2016 on a flight back from Toronto Canada to the Philadelphia International Airport. I was visiting Pat.

In my life I've been very lucky in that I've never had an earache but I do have trouble with my ears when I have flown. I absolutely cannot fly in unpressurized planes which I have done several times in my younger days. Low flights are all right but higher up the pressure kills my ears. The pain is so intense. This last flight the pain was so bad I thought I was going to pass out. And now with all the problems with airport safety and delays, I have a final reason never to fly again. Remember my last flight when I missed the connection in Phoenix to Palm Springs? And the expense! It costs me almost a thousand dollars for all that aggravation just to be squeezed into an airplane seat next to who knows who. Twice now I've sat next to a Middle Eastern young man who reeked of sweat. I'm thinking "What am I going to do if this guy is a terrorist and springs into action to take over the plane with his cohorts?" All kinds of crazy things are going though my mind. I don't need that stress folks in addition to maneuvering around airports looking for my gate number.

Pat still wants to go to Palm Springs every year in February for Modernism Week. I told her we could drive (Pat's a good driver) but he's not too keen on that. For once I would like to experience Middle America. All my life I've lived and worked on the East Coast, including the three years I was in the Army (New Jersey, Massachusetts and Maryland). I was born and grew up in Pennsylvania and now am living my twilight years in Delaware. The only time I've been anyplace else is when I've visited California and one memorable weekend took a plane trip to Cleveland for a disastrous weekend with a buy named "Lenny" who I met in a bar in Philadelphia. That was in 1979. I don't think I've written about that weekend in this blog. Maybe I have. I've never forgotten that disaster. But I digress. 

I told Pat that if he wants to fly to Palm Springs next year that he can go by himself. I'll share his experience vicariously via FaceTime. That's how we share our lives now anyway while we await the American Consulate in Montreal to interview him so he can get the final approval for us to get married. Long sentence there. Bottom line is I'm not flying anymore. So there. 

Now it's time for my weeklong visit to the Restore Thrift Store, the highlight of my week these days.

P. S.

At this time of my life since I'm so near to my Final Exit, I often wondered will I see my father again? I know I'll see Bill because he's with me everyday in spirit. He often communicates to me by mental telepathy. Bill is waiting for me as are all my friends but will those that I wasn't so fond of be there? Something to wonder about.

Lend Me Your Ear

 

Photo taken December 22, 2010. I was showing off my hair cut. I just got another one this morning. Still looking good folks! I have the best barber. She fixed up hat chop job I had done by a barber in Palm Springs last month.

Anyone out there have a good left ear? Mine is still screwed up.

Even since I arrived back to Delaware from California by way of the Dallas-Fort Worth airport last month, my left ear has been plugged up. I feel like I'm talking underwater. Very annoying to say the least.

To bring you up to date, tomorrow at 9 AM I have an appointment with my regular audiologist (the one the VA pays for) for an updated hearing aid test. They will fax the results to my ENT doctor. I wasn't sure about getting a hearing aid test at the ENT place, who would pay for it? My Medicare supplemental plan? The VA? For the VA to pay the place has to be authorized by the VA and they have to make the appointment. This is a lot less complicated and they will cover the cost. I need all the savings I can get now that I'm flying solo since Bill's modest Social Security monthly payment isn't part of the monthly funding of Casa Tipton-Kelly. I'm also not working so I'm back to the Days of Yesteryear where I have to be very careful about my expenditures. For most of my life I've had to be very careful except for a brief few year period, but now I'm back to being very careful. I'm not complaining though, just facing my new reality. One thing I do have in abundance though for which I will be forever grateful is love.

All those years I was with Bill and now with Pat. 

By the way, the latest update on Pat, if I haven't already told you, is that the next step on his K-1 VISA approval has passed. Now he awaits to hear from the American Consulate in Montreal for his interview. Once he "passes" that interview, we have ninety days to get married. I was sinking in the morass of pity feeling sorry for myself because I hadn't heard anything for a while and now with Trump making Canada out enemy and Musk chain sawing government workers I was worried that Pat and I would get caught up in that mess. Hopefully not and all things continue to move forward. What a time we're living in, huh folks? 

I gave away my garden cart today to a very nice neighbor. Little by little I'm downsizing. Later on this spring I will call Got Junk to do a major haul of things I don't need and can't even give away. 

Ear Injury

Dallas-Fort Worth Airport February 2025 - where my ear injury probably occurred

 Ever since I returned from my trip to California my left ear had been plugged up.

Whenever I talk I feel like I'm talking underwater. 

This usually happens when I fly in a plane, pressurized or not. It's especially bad when I've flown in an unpressurized plane. 

Usually this condition clears itself up in a day or two. Not this time though folks. My left ear is still clogged up.

Two days ago I saw my audiologist. She took one look in my ear and said "Something is going on in there." Turns out I have dried blood in my ear canal, next to my brain.

She advised me to go to the Urgent Care Unit, which I did. They agreed that I "have a  problem" and advised me to see an ear, nose and throat specialist.

Easier said than done. 

The earliest the ear, nose and throat specialist could see me was NEXT FEBRUARY! Yes folks, February of 2026! 

Well, obviously that isn't acceptable. 

I made some calls around and got lucky. Really lucky! The other ENT doctors also had long wait times but the one nearest me, which is the one I wanted anyway, just had a cancellation THIS FRIDAY! 

Tomorrow at this time I will be at that office and hopefully get this ear problem fixed. 

I'm hoping the doctor can flush out the dried blood. One thing is for sure, I'm not taking any more flights.

I had trouble with this latest plane trip because of my mobility problems but now with damage to my ear, never again. 

I'm slowly fading away folks. It's all right though, one day closer to being with Bill again.

Dermatologist Visit And Other Fun Experiences This Morning

Rehoboth Beach Walmart parking lot, yes, I used to feed the seal gulls.

This is the same Walmart where I hit the asphalt. Much more crowded though in June. This picture was taken in the winter, early in the morning. 

 Had to get up early this morning for my annual dermatologist visit. 

I've been making this visits for over thirty years now. I am paying the price for my youthful folly of "working on my tan" in the summertime. Oh if I could do those days over again. Oh well.

My physician's assistant had a field day burning off various keratosis spots all over my old worn out sagging body. 

As you know for the "full body check" I have to disrobe everything except my "boxer" shorts (who wears whitie tighties anymore?). The only thing I have to cover myself with is one of those flimsy hospital gowns that you can never quite close in the back. Very drafty those gowns and this one this morning was no exception. 

I used to apologize for my body when I'm exposed like this but these days I'm almost invisible to those who work in the medical establishment so I don't ever bother apologizing for the sad state of my body. Hey, at eighty-three year old, what can you expect? It's all sag, not much I can do about it although I have begun lifting ten pound barbells every morning to recover some muscle tone before I completely sag out.

So this is it for my doctor's appointments year. That is if I don't pass out in the Walmart parking lot again like I did this past June when Pat and Glenn were visiting. Thank God they were with me when I hit the asphalt as we were exiting the Rehoboth Walmart. Otherwise an exiting car would probably have backed out over me and all my worries and woes would have been solved then and there.

By the way, after my dermatologist visit I decided to go into the Rehoboth Walmart (since I was down that way anyway on Route One) and pick up a few items. Wouldn't it be just my luck to encounter a screaming little girl. Oh God how I had those screamers and this one was LOUD. Notice how they can stand still? Almost jumping up and down like a Mexican Jumping Bean. If they're not jumping they're running down the aisles. This screamer was two or three years old. In with her grandmother and mother. The grandmother kept saying "Now Shade". "Stay here Shade." Oh Shade."  Gee? Do you think the little screamer's name was .........SHADE? Oh how cute! It was obvious grandma wanted everyone in the store to know her little darling's name was SHADE.  

Walmart checkout!

I had to get away from that screamer before she elevated my blood pressure more that it was already. 

Wouldn't you know it they followed me on the same trajectory around the store and I was going? Even to the checkout! I'm always concerned that these little screamers run into my legs. Always happens. You know folks, I can see where kids are cute but you keep them. Okay? They drive me crazy. Boy, was I glad to get out of that store. In the past I've posted an episode like this to my You Tube account with a video. I don't do that anymore. The vitriol that rains down on me, unbelievable. Wow. "You miserable old man!" Yep, that's me, a "miserable old man." Guilty as charged.. I had to finally disable comments on my You Tube posts. In fact, I don't eve post those episodes to You Tube anymore. This is another reason I'm dreading my plane trip to and from Palm Springs. I just know I'm going to get one of those whiney kids on the planes. Doesn't bother Pat. Bothers me though. And when I don't get a whiney kid I'll get a hefty person with body odor. Oh yes, that's happened. You know I probably should have chosen a different career, a stand up comedian as a Miserable Old Man. 

I'm back home now. Looking forward to a nice quiet night and maybe I'll luck out and get a good movie or series on Netflix. Wish me luck!

Long Lines Early Voting

 

I opted out for early voting yesterday. The lines were way too long. At least an hour and a half wait.

I will probably vote Election Day November 5th. My regular poling place is right here in my development, Covington Chase. I was in Lewes yesterday for my follow-up doctor's appointment for my pass out in the Walmart parking lot this past June when Pat and Glenn were visiting me. My blood pressure is still elevated (144 over 92) which is unusual for me. Last month when I had my blood pressure taken at the VA Outpatient Clinic it was similarly high. Both times we attributed it to the current political climate. I think once this election is over and the Criminal Trump is defeated once and for all, my blood pressure will come down. I hope so anyway. Last night I took my blood pressure medicine for the first time and the nurse practitioner was right, it did make me very fatigued. As if I wasn't already fatigued enough. 

Every night I go to bed with a secret wish that I don't wake up. I'm ready to go folks. I'm ready. But first I have to vote to get this Orange Jesus out of or lives once and for all.

VOTE!

Saturday September 7th, 2024 Update

 

Pat

Good morning folks!

I haven't been posting for a while. Please accept my apologies. 

Life continues to go on without Bill. I still miss him every day. As I probably will the rest of my life. He does contact me almost daily though by way of that blinking yellow Christmas light that I have in our living room. He promised me he would keep in touch and he has. Bless his heart.

I've posted a picture of Pat on this blog post because he's going through some medical problems right now. In addition to his continuing squatter neighbor problems (they've calmed down a bit but they're still there), he has a detached retina. He had surgery earlier this week and not has to lay on his stomach for the next eight days, with only ten minutes per hour to get and eat and/or go to the bathroom. Pat is very stoic about his situation but this is hard on him and my heart hurts for what he has to endure now. When something like this happens to someone you love it makes you realize how lucky you are to have your health.

Speaking of which, just by coincidence I had my annual eye appointment this week. Thank God all went well. I have no problems there. However, I continue to have a walking problem. I use my cane almost all the time now. I walk much better with my cane than I do wobbling without a cane. I cannot afford to fall any more.

Last week I made my reservations in Palm Springs for Modernism Week in February of 2025. A bit pricey, especially now that my household income has been reduced roughly in half, but this will probably be me and Pat's honeymoon. Hopefully my K-1 VISA application will be approved by then and Pat and I can get married in Las Vegas. Yes, we're still planning on getting married by an Elvis impersonator. Why not? But then maybe not, we might just get married here at the courthouse here in Georgetown Delaware, where Bill and I got married back in 2013.  By the way, how do  you like Pat's new hair do? He let it grow out. I've been urging him for years not to shave his head but to let his hair grow out. I think he his adorable!

Not a whole lot much going on around here at Casa Tipton-Kelly (I'm keeping that name by the way). I tire easily, can hardly stay up past eleven at night. I just run out of steam. I'm eating less, appetite decreasing. I am able to keep up with my yard maintenance with the help of Jose. My one bit priority is keeping the grounds looking lovely. I wish Bill was still here enjoy our "park." We had such a nice wooded parklike setting in Pennsylvania too.

I'm looking forward to the presidential debate next week where Kamala will hand Trump his fat ass. Did you hear Trump's answer about child care this past week?

Ever the con man. Well, he has a lot of people brainwashed and fooled. He's good at that. But if you had a half brain you can see right through his lies and exaggerations. I am so looking forward to the election. And even more, I'm looking forward to seeing him behind bars. But our corrupt Supreme Court will probably find a way to save his sorry fat ass. They always do.

Well, I don't want to end on a negative note. So what's good? Autumn has finally arrived! This is my favorite time of  year. 

Have a great day every one!