Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Dancing With the Stars Episode #2

Derek and Ricki - last week

Okay folks, I couldn't find enough photo images from last night's competition to put fresh pictures on this posting, so I'll have to go with the promo photos.

Last night's show was interesting again.  "Dancing With the Stars" is the only reality show that I can stand to watch.  I watch "Millionaire Matchmaker"...sometimes.  After awhile, those spoiled, weird and loser millionaires looking for love is too much for even me.  So here is my snarky and not fair critique of last night's efforts of our dancing pros and their celebrity partners.  And remember, I mean no offense to anyone by my remarks,(except perhaps Mr. Balas).  Here goes!

Kristin tried to channel Marilyn Monroe last night.  Sorry Kristin, I've seen and heard Marilyn.  You're no Marilyn Monroe. Your dancing last night?  Okay...I guess.  Mr. Ballas was actually controlled himself most of the dance until the very end when he did a backflip that was more appropriate for the Circus Solei than the ballroom dance floor.  This is dancing Mark?  Go out for the Olympics next time.

Rob did the "Beach Boys" thing.  Rob was on one of the heftier Beach Boys.   By the way, drop the "Shy Boy" routine Rob, it rings false.  You're spoiled.  And please, PUHLEAZE...step dad Bruce Jenner...WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR FACE?  Bruce used to be hot.  Now he he looks like a drag queen with her makeup off and teeth out,  especially when he's cheering on Robby Boy.
Carson, your "dancing" is more fun that I expected but you would be more at home playing drag volleyball at Rehoboth Beach.  You have a week or two at the most before you're voted off.
You can put her in a dress (and a skimpy one at that) but if "she" is a big, muscular tomboy goalie of a girls soccer team, she's still a goalie.  You can take the girl out of the soccer stadium but you can't take the soccer out of the girl.  Again, Maks was the best thing about last night's dance.  Love you Maks!
You're still the cutest David.  Love witnessing your "friendship" with former wife who valiantly sits in the audience with oh so adorable daughter Coco (is this girl ever going to grow up to be spoiled beyond repair?)  As they say David, lots of enthusiasm but little technical skill.  Still, you're a pleasure to watch (in spite of your flat ass) as is your partner Kym.
Elisabetta, whose only reason for being on the show is that she slept with George Clooney (sure, why else is she on the show?) continues to display the sexy voluptuousness  that got George hard but the best part about her appearance last night was her snit about attitude with her partner Val, the beady eyed yet also sexy younger brother of Maks.  
Ricki and her "DEREKlicious" partner Derek (oh okay, I know the guys stuck on himself but I still like watching him and I'm not even attracted to blondes!) did well last night in her Twenties Flapper costume.  Derek clearly out danced her but didn't show her up.  That's what I like about Derek, he compliments and doesn't dominate his celebrity partner.  You won't see Derek doing a backflip at the end of the dance just to draw attention to himself the way Mr. Showman Mark Balas did. last night.  Derek is too much of a gentleman for a stunt like that.  Love you Derek...mysterious eyes.  
Seeing the ample figured Nancy Grace tripping the Light Fantastic across the newly christened DWTS dance floor reminds me of the old left handed compliment "You don't sweat much for a fat girl."  Nancy, bless her heart, is very ernest and put forth an admirable effort last night.  But alas, she is like the dog who walks on its hind legs.  It's not so much that the dog walks well but the fact that the dog can walk on two legs that is amazing.  You did all right last night Nance for a Big Girl.  And oh, enough with the twins already, we get it.

Another graceful effort by Chynna last night and her partner Tony.  I'm getting more of a "feel" for Chynna and I have to say I don't much care for her.  She seems like one of these self-absorbed Hollywood princesses but in spite of that personal perception of mine, I still find that she dances quite well.  She will end up in the top three.  She is beautiful, graceful and elegant and she knows it.
The best natural dancer of all the competition is J. R. Martinez.  What a shame that his facial disfigurement is so distracting (just telling it like it is folks in this age of Political Correctness).  J. R. not only has the most confident attitude without being arrogant but his dance moves are the smoothest.  He just may well win the Sparkling Dance Ball (or whatever they call it).  

Chaz, I feel your pain buddy (the knees) but last night's Quick Step wasn't quick.  You're going home tonight buddy boy.  
Chaz Bono gives it the old College Try last night but you can by the look on  his face he knows it isn't working.  


  1. Am I the only one who gets a big gay vibe from J.R.?

    For me, this whole season is going to revolve around J.R. He's definitely the best. I hope he keeps it up.

  2. Cubby,

    I hadn't notice a gay vibe from J.R. He is definitely the best dancer on the show. No one else is even close. I have a feeling he will win. His attitude is amazing. His participation on "DWTS" is doing so much for others like him who have suffered horrible disfigurements caused by this unnecessary war. He is definitely an inspiration. He makes the rest of us appreciate what we often take for granted.

  3. And it was the Italian Trollope that went home! Not Chaz! Apparently all the Cher groupies are behind him 100%! :)

    P.S. Stop hating on my Mark! M'kay? I'm just saying my dear! ;)


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