Friday, September 16, 2011

Life in Gayberry, DE

The Primitive Baptist Church in Cades Cove. Tennessee
Photo taken by me during our trip south this past spring

We're going back folks.  Bill and I are making another trip south.  While updating my Find a Grave account, I noticed that a lot of those family graveyards in the hills of western North Carolina where my father was born and left when we was ten years old (the family moved to Pennsylvania) are unrecorded.  Those family cemeteries are just waiting for me to put them on the map.

The past week or so I've been busy mightily updating all my photos that I've taken of cemeteries here in Sussex County and Pennsylvania.  I now have serious competition here in Sussex County covering the cemeteries for Find a Grave.  Coincidentally it is another gay man, one who just happens to work for the governor of the state of Delaware.  I don't know how he has the time to visit all these cemeteries and take his thousands of photographs and post them and the dates of birth and death to his Find a Grave account but he is doing it.  He is about a thousand grave ahead of me.  I have dallied too long.  He has also beat me to the punch of posting his photographs of graves that I have already taken photographs of.  I sent him an e-mail that I had already taken those photographs but he ignored it and posted his anyway.

Of course he did, he's that kind of really competitive guy.  He has to be the star in anything he does.  I know. I've heard all about him.  I had a chance to meet him at his Summer Bash which is actually a birthday party he throws for himself (and raises funds at the same time - remember we are the FUND RAISING CAPITAL OF THE EAST COAST).  I didn't really meet him but I saw him pass by and tried to get his attention.  Way too busy....being the CENTER OF ATTENTION.

I've sent him a couple of e-mails but he has deigned not to respond.  Once he did respond to a chat session on FB but I think once he checked out my local gay membership credentials (I have none), I was jettisoned from his contact list.  Here in Gayberry, DE (AKA Rehoboth Beach/Lewes/Milton) there is a strictly adhered to gay social pecking order.  You think the DAR is picky?  Man oh man, they have nothing on Gayberry's Gay Society.

Actually, do I care?  Not really.

One thing is for sure (at least I think it is), when Bill and I are roaming through the hills on the border western North Carolina and east Tennessee, we'll be in friendlier territory.  That was one of the places I considered retiring too (Ashville, North Carolina) but I decided against it because of the perceived hostility towards two men living together.

One of the main reasons I made the decision to move to this area of southern Delaware was because my longtime best friend who just happened to be gay has lived in southern Delaware for over thirty years.  Over the years I have visited him many times and looked forward to spending more time with him.  However, one of the cruel ironies of fate, he now has Alzheimer's.  His body is here but his brain isn't.  Sad, sad.  He's gone.

Bill and I stay mostly to ourselves here on the outskirts of Gayberry.  We have a few gay friends who normal men and aren't into dressing in drag or the stereotypical gay activities like breaking out into Broadway show tunes. Both Bill and I missed that gay requirement. That's probably why we don't fit in the local gay social elite.

In little over a month I'll be 70.  Bill will be 83 next week.  We are really tired.  I started cutting back on my social interactions this past month.  Bill always has.  We really don't want anyone visiting us anymore.  Been there, done that.  Bill asked me to close his FB account today.  That I did.  I went through my FB account and Hide every "Friend" whose posts are either just fund raising, political rants, or snarky comments.  Like I said, I'm tired of dealing with these people who really aren't my friends.  I just keep my FB account to keep in contact with the younger members of my extended family and the few genuine friends who seem to care about me.  The rest of them, gone.

The road into Cades Cove Tennessee, May 2011
Bill and I love this country


  1. The last photo is so gorgeous! It reminds me of New-Zealand.
    I agree with you on "been there, done that...". What I like about being older is that you can do whatever you want. I can't wait to retire.

  2. Nadege,

    I love Cades Cove, Tennessee. I feel so at peace there. It truly is a Shangra-la right here in the U.S.

    You're right about one of the advantages of getting older and retirement. You can do exactly what you want. My perspective at this age also allows me to see that I have wasted so much time trying to fit in when in fact there was no need to. I am truly enjoying retirement. For the first time in my life I feel totally free. Mostly anyway, I still have a part-time job just to keep up with expenses.

  3. That's a beautiful photo! Both of them, but particularly the bottom one. It's too bad that attitudes and politics keep us away from so many beautiful places.

  4. Walt,

    The Smoky Mountains of North Carolina and Tennessee are absolutely beautiful! We're planning on going back this autumn for the fall colors.


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