|Guess who at 16 years old?|
What's with that hand? Damn, gay from Day One.
Well folks, I'm sure this doesn't come as a surprise to some of you but I DIDN'T WIN THE MEGA MILLIONS JACKPOT! How about that? There goes my plans for transporting the entire group of friends attending next year's Bloggerpalooza to Cabo San Lucas, Mexico for the shindig. Oh well, maybe the next half a billion jackpot I'll be luckier.
Okay, while I pout a bit here over my missed chance I think you will enjoy this little film clip that I produced from my father's old 8mm film.
The clip shows me as a very self-conscious 16 year old (1958) with our family dogs in the front yard of our new home in East Brandywine Township, Downingtown, Pennsylvania. Up until 1958 our family lived in a second floor, roach infested apartment in town Downingtown and another 2nd floor apartment on Boot Road above the Gindy Manufacturing Company offices. Quite a culture shock to leave the roaches behind and breath in fresh air.
This clip shows me at my most self-conscious. Oh how I remember those days. I was shirtless because I thought I could get a tan. HA! I wanted to bad to be the tan and muscular idols of my youth like Tab Hunter. WHAT WAS I THINKING!
You know boys and girls? Looking back on those days I am glad I was the way I was and not the stereotypical, Hollywood manufactured, shallow sex object. But remembering those days, I was so ashamed of myself. How skinny I was, no tan, no muscles, no self-confidence.
It's interesting to look back now and realize how screwed up I was, mainly because I grew up in a small town, was constantly belittled and mocked by my father (probably because I wasn't the butch, deer shooting and gutting, eldest son he wanted. Well, guess what Pop? Neither of his two succeeding sons ever accompanied him on any of his hunting trips either. But I was the only one who turned out to be gay…..and from Day One. Check out my hand to my face. What was that ALL ABOUT? No wonder he didn't take me hunting.