Here I am, up late at night again on my computer. I should know better because when I stay up late like this, reading my blog rolls and making comments, I know I will have a hard time getting to sleep tonight.
After some of the comments I made tonight, I think I dug myself into a hole. Hey, I have a tendency to do that. My longtime friend (over fifty years) told me many years ago "Ron, you are the most naive person I know." I didn't know to take that as a compliment or an insult. I took it as neither but as a fact of my personality.
I think of myself as being totally honest. In fact, I not only "think" of myself as totally honest, I am totally honest. Of course sometimes I just can't come out and say what I think for fear of offending or losing friends. However, sometimes I just get tired of the BS and I let it all out.
All this discussion about whether or not marriage between same sex couples will ever be recognized and legitimized almost always avoids the real way to end this discrimination. The only way this discrimination will end is for every gay man and woman to come out. And that means EVERYONE. Not just people in safe jobs like entertainment or self-employed or employed by gay friendly companies. It means especially those people who lack the courage to come out to their families and friends for fear of losing their respect and relationship. My question is: how can you have respect for yourself if your life is a lie?
I know, I know. Everyone has their own Journey. But all too often it is about fear of disrupting a cozy life by losing a job and/or having friends, neighbors and family looking at you as "One of THEM."
I don't consider myself any more or any less courageous than the next schlub on the street but I came out in March of 1963 and have never looked back. Oh sure, I had the dramatic confrontation with my Mother ("What did I do wrong? I tried to raise you the right way") and he ensuing confrontation with my father and brothers who literally tried to drag me to the hospital for the "cure." I've lost two jobs because my boss knew I was gay because I didn't practice the business world's version of "Don't Ask Don't Tell." I've been physically attacked because I was gay by a self-described "good Christian man" who tried to strangle me at a town hall meeting (Representative Robert Walker, R-PA.) I'm still here and in one piece and I can sleep at night knowing that I'm not living a lie. So if I can do it why can't all you other gays who are "struggling" with your identity. I don't get it. I just don't. So I guess I've dug myself into another hole but so be it. It's something I had to get off of my chest tonight after reading several blogs about a wish for same sex marriages to become legal.
Friends, understand this. Same sex marriage will become legal overnight when everyone who is gay COMES OUT. EVERYONE. Until then we're just dancing around the mulberry bush.