As I groggily came to this morning in my bed, I went over in my mind again what my friend Harvey said about gossip. I thought to myself, "How am I going to get through my day without gossip?" As this dilemma roiled over in my head several times , I got up for breakfast. No gossip today? What am I going to talk about? After breakfast I checked my e-mails. The first e-mail was from a friend who was unable to attend our weekly gathering last night at the Feathered One. He said "bullfeathers...keep gossiping, that's what makes the world go round." That was reassuring. Maybe I'm not this bad person after all who whittles away his time with idle gossip. Later in the day I received an e-mail from another friend on the same subject. He said: "Geez -- No fun if you cannot gossip." This reaction from two friends whose opinion I hold in high regard. There. It is settled. I continue to gossip. However, I do have my rules. I never say anything about anyone that I wouldn't say to their face (and have on occasion). Also, I never knowingly say a falsehood or repeat malicious gossip. The conversation I was having last night concerned a long time friend of mine who is practicing major hypocrisy. I've told him myself but he uses twisted logic to justify his actions. He is a friend of mine and I like him very much but I thought it would be interesting to share this information with my friends at the table at the Purple Parrot last night. The human condition, always a fascinating subject. This is what we do when we get together. We either talk about ourselves (always a boring or interesting subject, depending on where you sit at the table) or others. Last night, after my friend Ed and I were chastised for gossiping, we talked about his need to get his original birth certificate in order to collect Social Security. Ed is adopted and doesn't know where his birth certificate is. The conversation continued on in this vein, birth certificate or no birth certificate. Ten minutes into this conversation between Ed and Harvey, I nodded off and almost dropped my head in my guacamole bowl. Nope. Back to the good stuff. Gossip it is. Good thing I didn't cancel my subscription to the National Enquirer.