Sunday, March 30, 2014

Gay Marriage Arrives in Britain

The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypose

I love this headline "Gay Marriage Arrives in Britain - No Flooding Or Winged Horsemen Of Death, So Far (PICTURES).  See here:

Yes folks, Great Britain is yet another country that has recognized the inevitable, marriage between same sex couples is NORMAL.  What always amazes me is how happy everyone is when the dam finally breaks and the same sex couples rush to marry.  FINALLY!  






At the present time I am estranged (temporarily I hope) from my family (two brothers and one sister-in-law) because I dared not to subscribe to the "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" version of gay "lifestyle" in my civilian life.  They all know and have known I was gay since I came out in 1964 but I think this year was a bit too much for them when the Christmas card I sent out had a picture of me and Bill at our wedding.

Bill and I married on our 49th anniversary of our meeting last summer, when the Marriage Equality Bill passed in Delaware - proud and not ashamed or embarrassed
 

That probably went over the line for them.  I'm pretty sure it probably went over the line for some of my relatives too because a paltry few of them showed up at my bi-annual family reunion. Well you know folks, it is THEIR problem, not mine.  I am tired of this.  So tired. 


Image of the paltry attendance at my family reunion this year - embarrassing and shameful - I'll never do another one again
Bill meeting my cousin Barbara K. Barbara is one of the few in my family who is a Progressive (Liberal) - this is the first reunion of any kind (family or class) that Bill has attended with me.  Probably because he was legal now. The ladies in the background were also very accepting.  Not everyone is narrow-minded and prejudicial but unfortunately many in my family are.  I am ashamed and embarrassed. They would probably go to a Duck Dynasty reunion before they would go to their out gay relative's function.  Never again.  I couldn't even get either of my brothers or their families to attend.  Again, embarrassing and shameful.

But I am happy that there will now be thousands of same sex couples in England who will no longer be treated as pariahs and "less than."  


Me waiting to testify before the Delaware State Legislature last year for marriage equality - unashamed and proud

But then we go back to this country where it is up to the state to decide.  You know, the old "put it up to the voters."  Well, this brilliant Irish ad puts into focus how ridiculous and unfair too many part so this country continue to be behind history.  But you know folks, it is inevitable that one day this country will look back at this time and wonder "how could we have been so unfair?"


16 comments:

  1. their loss, not yours. you are not a freak; your brothers are dinosaurs, a minority. they need to get over it.

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    1. Anne Marie,
      My brothers are just not comfortable with me being open about my sexuality. I don't think they will ever get over it. But I am tired of the "Ronnie, why do you always have to talk about you being GAY?" And when I answer "I'm just living my life", they don't get it. They're still in that mind set of don't say anything about it, best left unsaid. I'm like the crazy uncle hidden in the attic who keeps coming out and embarrassing them like GETTING MARRIED IN PUBLIC LIKE THEY DID.
      Ron

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    2. WHY should you go back in the closet? I cannot go back and play house and have kids, nor would I want to. we are liberated, baybee! so your brothers can quit reading your blog. I also don't notice you criticizing THEIR life choices. methinks they doth protest too much.

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    3. Anne Marie,
      They're all right as long as I don't talk TOO MUCH about my life. Maybe because they have gays in their own immediate families why they're uncomfortable about me being so open. What gets me is when they refer to my "lifestyle choices." I do think they really care, they just can't handle the fear of rejection from their peer group with a brother who lives so openly as a gay man. I always get the feeling they consider me as having some kind of incurable disease and they get confused when I tell them I don't, that I am perfectly normal. They cannot process that fact. And you know, I can probably understand that. But I'm not going to change to make them feel more comfortable and frankly I'm tired of the discussion.
      Ron

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  2. as usual ...... well written. you need to be in the OP pages of the Inquirer weekly for sure.

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    1. Thank you Roger. Something I always wanted to do, site a column. I used to send letters to the editor, which were usually publish (always much to my surprise) but now I let my blog entries do the talking for me. More freedom here although occasionally some of my blog readers try to censor me.
      Ron

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  3. As Anne Marie wrote, their loss! You and Bill are doing really well so who cares about someone else's opinion?

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    1. Absolutely right Nadege!

      Ron

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  4. Hi Ron,
    I suppose your relatives who are not comfortable about your sexuality are, to be consistent, not open with their own? (The question is rhetorical.)
    Even though you rightly say that it's their own problem I can sense how it's something that must keep gnawing at you. It would definitely do so with me, that's for sure. In that respect it'll always be sad - and something to be regretted. Although it's not very nice to say it, one can only hope that they feel the same way - but for them with an additional layer of guilt, something of which you are free.

    Yes, the week-end was a truly historic day for us in England and Wales, though for the sake of accuracy it hasn't happened yet in Scotland though nothing can now stop it happening in the Autumn. In Northern Ireland, thanks(!) to the power of hard-line evangelicals there are no plans even to discuss it so we will have the anomaly that gay marriages will be recognised as legally equal in all parts of the U.K..except for that one province - rather like some of your own states, I suppose, though in our case it's inevitable that with time they'll be dragged kicking and screaming into the 21st century, much to the Church's (both Protestant and R.C.) chagrin without doubt. Still feel sorry, though, for all the gays living there who have to hope and wait still longer.
    But, yes, it was wonderful to see the wedding ceremonies on TV at the weekend. Couldn't stop myself shedding a tear or two. Even though there are still vociferous antis the whole issue can't help but die down now with the opponents looking increasingly isolated - and even bizarre.

    I was wondering how and if the news would be carried abroad, particularly in the U.S.A. and whether it was pointed out that the move was spear-headed by a CONSERVATIVE Prime Minister (but who, unfortunately, failed to carry over half his party with him - though with the help of opposition parties the legislation easily got through.) I would have been especially interested in see how the news was carried by Fox News, if it was mentioned at all.
    Anyway, it's done and there's no going back. So take note, Putin, and those ugly, backward-ruling countries of Africa.

    Oh. and that Irish ad carries real punch, which I didn't see coming. I thought at the end we'd see another man using asking for permission to marry a male, only to have the door slammed in his face. But this was better.

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  5. Ray,
    You're very perceptive Ray. I am very sad that some of my relatives (especially the close one, my brothers and the one wife), and friends, are so deep in their ignorance of the reality of my life that I fear they will always view me as "less than." They just can't get past their brainwashed ways. I am sad because they are good people and don't mean to be discriminatory but they are incapable of ever seeing past their own nose and their own self-righteous views. If they really practiced the tenants of their Christianity they would know that it is wrong to be as judgmental as they are. At this point in my life Ray, I am just tired of banging my head against their wall of intolerance in ignorance and fear. What few years I have left I choose to life them free of trying to please these people by living my life they way they think I should. As I've often told them "You take care of your life and I'll take care of mine." To me evangelism has done more damage to people than any perceived good they claim. What two consenting adults do is none of their business. I don't tell them how to live their lives and they shouldn't tell me. But yes, I am sad for them and sad that they continue to view me as the crazy uncle who lives in the attic.
    Ron

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    1. However long any of us lasts, it would be such a wonderful 'goodbye present' to be able to slip away with the knowledge that, though long time coming, one was at last fully accepted by ones kith and kin. I still very much hope it can happen for you, Ron - though you're right to be realistic about the chances. Even so, fingers are crossed for you.

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    2. Ray,
      I have given up hope that those relatives and friends of mine who see me as "less than" will ever see the error of their thinking. They're too far gone in their religious beliefs to see reality. I still care for them and I'm sure they care for me but I'm tired of the struggle. I'm just going to coast out the rest of my life surrounded by those who respect me and love me without passing judgment that I don't fit into their narrow and prejudicial views.
      Ron

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  6. Ron,

    I've always admired your strength to do what you believe is right. To be who you are. That is very difficult for many I'm certain. It often causes rifts and loss. But it also creates change. Your are a forerunner. It's hard to draw parallels but it seems something akin to the discovery that the world was round.

    Pat

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    1. Pat,
      Thank you. You understand. Sometimes I feel like a fish going upstream. Some of those around me, who think they have my best interests at heart, always urging me to keep the status quo, not to disturb the regular order of things lest it cause them some discomfort and embarrassment. Always trying to convince me that black is white and wrong is right. I've fought this battle all my life. I have to admit that I am tiring now. I may have to leave them in their ignorance and ask them to leave me alone. I don't need them to constantly drag me down when they think they're doing me a favor, "saving" me. I don't know how much time I have left but one thing I'm pretty sure of now, I don't want to waste any more time on these people who put their own self interest above mine.
      Thanks for your comment Pat. Always appreciated.
      Ron

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  7. I would love to marry an Englishman. Sign me up.

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    1. I'm rather fond of a particular Canadian myself. I think it's the accent.

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