Marriage License Application

 Pat and I just returned from the Sussex County Courthouse in Georgetown. We obtained our marriage license. Now Pat and I have to wait twenty-four hours. This is a Delaware state law requirement, wait twenty-four hours before getting married as a cooling off period. They don't want anyone making a rash decision like Brittaney Spears did who got drunk on night and got married to her current boyfriend at that time (I'm not even sure he was her official "boyfriend") Jason Alexander (not the actor on "Seinfeld.") When she sobered up a few days later she had their Las Vegas marriage annulled. 

Well folks, I'm sure I'm going to marry my honey, Pat Flynn from Hamilton, Ontario, Canada tomorrow. I've been besotted with him since I first laid eyes on him when we med in the summer of 2013. Yes, we met through my blog. 

Interestingly, he wasn't a regular follower of my blog and still isn't. He's not interested but he was interested in me when he saw my photo on the TV sitting in the gallery at the Delaware state legislature waiting to testify for same sex marriage. He did an Internet search and found my blog and left a comment just as I was writing a new blog entry. Another interesting factor is that no one before of since has left a live comment on my blog while I was in the process of writing a new posting. I responded to his comment and a few days later we progressed to FaceTiming and eventually he asked me if he could come down for a visit. He did and within five minutes of meeting him face to face I knew he was The One. But another interesting fact was I met him a month after I married Bill and I wasn't going to leave Bill. Yes, I was in love with two men at the same time. That is possible you know. In fact I think someone even wrote a song about loving the same two people at the same time. 

So we met in a parking lot of a Lewes Hotel and as I previously said in the post, within a few minutes I knew this man was who I was looking for in all the wrong places (another song?) ever since I was aware I liked men. Took a long time to find him but I always knew I would? And what about Bill you ask? Well, if you are a long time follower of my blogs you would know that when I initially moved in with Bill in January of 1965 it was strictly on a roommate basis. That was our understanding, we were not to be lovers. He had no restrictions on each other. Bill traveled a lot with his job (he was an electronics technician with RCA and then General Electric) and was gone for months at a time. I needed an apartment to live in for my new job at Girard Bank in Philadelphia. He said I could live in his apartment in Pennsauken New Jersey which was right across the river from Philadelphia. But a funny thing happened over the years, I grew to love Bill. He knew what he was doing when he convinced me to move in with him all those years ago. In fact I grew to love Bill so much that there isn't a day that I don't grieve for him. I look forward to the day when our spirits are reunited for eternity. And that is my background of my fifty-nine year relationship with Bill. 

Now I start a new relationship with Pat tomorrow. We're scheduled to be married tomorrow at the Sussex County Courthouse in Georgetown Delaware.

When we were answering questions this morning to get our marriage license I was surprised that I was getting emotional. The last time I got married, Bill was the one who got emotional. I'll probably be a mess tomorrow. I have arranged with the same people to videotape my marriage that videotaped my marriage to Bill twelve years ago. I'll try not to do an ugly crying spectacle. 

Folks, I cannot tell you how happy I am to be marring such a wonderful man like Pat. He and Bill are nothing alike so I'm not marrying on the rebound. In fact Pat is a lot like me. We understand each other. Bill and I were as different in personalities as could be. But that didn't stop us from loving each other. 

Life is interesting isn't it folks? And I'm going to find out more as I embark on my final journey tomorrow with my Canadian honey. Right now I feel like the luckiest man on the planet. And you know what folks? I am!

Slight Delay!

 

Pat and I November 10, 2013 in Philadelphia, PA

It looks like there is another slight delay in Pat and I getting married! 

I hope to get marriage before this corrupt conservative dominated Supreme Court outlaws same sex marriages. Oh yes, that's going to happen. The only question is are they going to grandfather the law (those who were married before can stay married) or declare null and void ALL same sex marriages. 

I do not have a doubt in the world that is what the Supreme Court will do. Clarence Thomas, the most vile Supreme Court justice only second to Samuel Alito, said as much after they reversed the Roe versus Wade decision that had held for almost fifty years. They (the Supreme Court) are just itching to feed more to their MAGA base and gays are always easy to demonize. Of course they could do something meaningful like demand the Justice Department release the full Epstein files. 

What is the delay this time in Pat and I getting married? Would you believe a cold? Yes, Pat has come down with a terrible cold. The first for him in about ten years. He's really a sick puppy now. I hope this isn't serious but he's pretty sick. He thinks he caught his cold from his bandmate over the past weekend. His bandmate's wife had a serious cold.

I've had a handful of serious colds in my lifetime, all of which I caught from people I worked with who had children in school. And you know schools, especially with small children, those schools are virtual Petri dishes of germs just waiting to be spread.

An Unforgettable Father's Toast At His Gay Son's Wedding

See if you can get through this video without choking up. The best I can say about this is that I did not have a father like this. But what I can say is that my father did like Bill. Thank God. My Mother loved Bill too. I am so comforted to know they are all together in Heaven now.

Bill with my parents at their home sometime in the 70's

From left to right, my father Ike Tipton, Bill and my Mother Betty Tipton and my father's dog "Pepper" (oh how he loved that dog!)  All in Heaven now!

Marriage Equality Act

Cool Joe Biden with his aviator glasses ready to sign the Respect for Marriage Act

 President Biden signed the Marriage Equality Act today. This means same sex and interracial marriages are LEGAL in all fifty states. Hear that Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas? Recently Justice Thomas said those acts should be "reconsidered." This while Thomas and his fellow conservative Supreme Court Justices reversed Roe Versus Wade, a woman's right to choose what to do with her own body. 

Say what you want about Joe Biden. He has trouble talking. Reads a speech poorly from the TelePrompter but his heart is in the right place. 

Remember in 2013 when Joe Biden was on one of those Sunday talk shows and was asked about same sex marriage. He got into BIG trouble with the White House (President Obama included) when he said he approved of same sex marriage. That took courage and for that I will be eternally appreciative to Joe Biden for signing the Respect For Marriage Act into law.

I remember how disappointed I was with former President Clinton who promised that gays could serve in the military. Then when crunch time came to pass a law, he buckled and signed a "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" bill which was chickenshit and he knew it. Again, Republicans or Democrats, all seem to find gay people like me expendable. By the way, that's when I lost respect for Clinton. Even arch conservative senator Barry Goldwater urged him to sign a stronger bill legalizing gays to service in the military. He told Clinton "You're the president, issue the order and any general or admiral who doesn't want to follow your order, fire them or let them resign." Clinton of course did not do that because Clinton was/is a weasel. Not as bad as Trump, who is truly evil and the greatest threat this country has ever faced, but just a weasel. Remember how allowing gays to openly serve in the military was going to "ruin" the military? How did that work out? Of course I knew it would because I was in the military for three long years and had many gay friends in the military. In fact I didn't know anybody else who was gay until I was in the military. And were we all swinging naked from the chandeliers harassing the straight guys to have sex? Of course not! And if any gay did that he of course would be kicked out of the military just like any straight guy harassing a woman. End of discussion. 

Same with same sex marriage. Why are so many straight people afraid, yes AFRAID of same sex couples marrying? That's something I never understood. That we should have the same rights and protections and tax table (yes, taxes) that straight couples have. Lord knows we paid in excess of taxes lo these many years before same sex marriages because legal. And here comes Clarence Thomas, full of himself after he and his fellow conservative Supreme Court Justices effectively repealed Roe Versus Wade which stood for forty-nine years and gave women the right over their own bodies. Thomas spews out we should "reconsider" those laws including the one that gives same sex couples the right for intimacy in the privacy of their own bedrooms. What an asshole Thomas is! Yes, I said it. Asshole. 

I'm getting all worked up now. Time to wrap this up. Thank you Joe Biden, stutter and all, for signing this bill that simply gives me and Bill (or whoever I'm married to) the right to live just like any other couple in this country. 

President Biden signs the Respect for Marriage Act

Happy Fifty-five Anniversary!

Today is our 55th anniversary. Little did I know that rainy Saturday night at the Westbury Bar in Philadelphia fifty-five years ago that I would still be living with the love of my life, Bill Kelly.  And here we are today, still going strong albeit a little slower.

Six years ago we made it legal by being officially married on July 3rd, 2013, the 49th anniversary of our meeting. Wow, that was a fast six years.

I have to say, it's been quite an interesting ride. Hopefully we have many more years together!

Me and Bill at our rooftop deck in center city Philadelphia 1976 when we were young and vital

Happy Wedding Anniversary!

Five years ago today folks I married Bill, on the 49th anniversary of our meeting.

On that rainy, summer night in Philadelphia I was standing alone by the bartender Jerry Hawes at the Westbury Bar in Philly.  Jerry pushed a gin and tonic in front of me.  I looked up and he turned his head and nodded in the direction of a man standing on the other side of the bar, in front of the juke box and skeet ball game machine.  

The Westbury Bar was my regular hangout on Saturday night when I went trolling the gay bars looking for my Prince Charming. I usually went with my friends Ed Cage and Ron Hampton but this night, for some reason I was alone.  I don't remember why.

This wasn't the first night that man had sent a drink over my way. In fact he had done it many times before over the past three months. I always acknowledge the gesture with a nod of my head but I never went over to actually talk to him.  You see, he wasn't my "type."  He was very popular in the bar, usually playing skeet ball with his many friends. While I considered him attractive, he really wasn't my type physically and besides, I wasn't about to be another notch on his gun of conquest. During my brief year or so of coming out to gay bars, I had been approached more than  few times by over confident older gay men who were just out for a one night stand. I was looking for more.  I was looking to fall in love and spend my life with the Man of My Dreams.  My Prince Charming. Mr. Right.  And that man wasn't it.  Besides, he was SOO old (35 years to my 22 years).  

But on this muggy, quiet night in the Westbury, attendance probably down because of the intermittent rain outside, I decided the least I could do was go over and thank him for all the drinks. At that time I was just beginning my adult working career and living on limited funds. I usually only took three dollars with me to the bar to buy a seventy-five cent gin and tonic. Of course I would tell the bartender to "keep the change".  Once I spent my three dollars I was out of the bar. My search for my prince done for the night. But being the nice guy that I am (tongue in cheek folks, don't take me seriously and leave a nasty comment) I decided to walk around the bar and thank this man.

As I rounded the bar and approached him, he looked up in bemusement and surprise. After all those drinks he had sent to me over the last three months, he probably never expected to reel me in.  

I said to him "Thank you for the drink."  He replied "You're welcome."  

I was pleasantly surprised by the tone of his voice. It was deep and masculine. Unlike my voice which has a higher, adolescent tone and definitely not "gay sounding" (please don't take offense my "gay sounding" friends but you know what I'm talking about).  What my friend (who eventually was a witness at our wedding) called "talking gay."  She asked me once, "Why don't you and Bill talk gay?"  I assured her that not all men "talk gay."  She was somewhat surprised by this revelation but I digress.

When I decided to go over and thank Bill for the drinks, I didn't intend to stay but I found his personality so appealing, that I stayed.  He was (and is) nice. He wasn't an ogre like some of the older gay men I had the misfortune to meet in the past. He wasn't out to just "notch another one up." He was different.  Thus began our friendship.

Over the next six months Bill saw each other every weekend. He lived in Pennsuaken, New Jersey and I lives in Coatesville, Pennsylvania, fifty-one miles away or about an hour's drive one-way.  After his workday on Friday Bill would drive the one hour drive to pick me up at my furnished, efficiency apartment in Coatesville and drive me back to his garden apartment in Pennsauken, New Jersey. He did this almost every weekend from July to February.  I think he only missed three weekends and that was because he had to work. Now who else would do that for me?

Bill and me at his apartment in Pennsauken, New Jersey - 1964

  
Then came a time when Bill wanted me to move in with him.  I was reluctant because, even though I liked Bill, he still wasn't "my type" physically. Oh yes, the Folly of Youth being sho shallow-minded. I didn't want to be restricted. But Bill didn't give up.  He said "I would never restrict you. You can have all the freedom you want, all I ask is that you be discreet."  And that folks is the secret of our relationship over the past fifty-four years. 

I got a job with a major bank in Philly and moved in with Bill at the end of February 1965.  

Bill and I on the rooftop at our townhouse in center city Philadelphia 1976

Over the next fifteen years we settled down into the normal routine of a gay couple, or as "normal" as a gay couple could be in those pre-Stonewall days. Then came a time in 1980 I met Somebody.  I thought I finally met my Prince Charming.  Handsome, talented, kind, and sexy.  Oh yes.  I was going to leave Bill.  I told Bill I had finally met Mr. Right.  As I prepared to leave, and I remember clearly where I told Bill, it was outside near the row of day lilies that lined our driveway to our dream house in the Pennsylvania countryside.

Bill turned away from me after I gave him the news but then turned back and said "Please don't leave me."  I was prepared for this but much to my surprise I realized I couldn't leave him.  I mean, I COULDN'T LEAVE HIM.  Why, because I loved him.  Yes, I had grown to love him over the years and could not imagine my life without him in it.  I tried to picture me with Prince Charming (who, by the way turned out not to be the Prince Charming after all but that's another whole story), and I couldn't fathom the thought of thinking about where Bill would be.  I just could not imagine my life without Bill in it.  

Bill gets emotional on our wedding day in July 3, 2013 - aren't I the one who is supposed to get emotional?

And now we are here today, fifty-four years after I met Bill.  Bill will be ninety years old this year.  I'll be seventy-seven.  I would never have imagined that back on that rainy July night in Philly fifty-four years ago that I would love this man all these years later. But I do.

Now that we both are in our declining years, health issues sometimes that threaten to overtake us at times, I still would never leave Bill.  He needs me and I live him.  

I met my Prince Charming all those years ago, I just didn't know it.

Happy anniversary Bill!

Me and Bill outside the courthouse in Georgetown, Delaware where we got married.  Now we start a whole new chapter in our lives.

Me and Bill together today - together forever

Note: Portulaca, Bill's favorite flower of all time!

Happy Anniversary!

Bill and I taking wedding vows four years ago today!

Hard to believe that four years has passed already since our official marriage four years ago!  

Forty-nine years is a long time to wait, finally we get married.

Yes, four years ago Bill and I were officially married at the Georgetown, Delaware Sussex County Courthouse. 

Bill and me outside the Sussex County Courthouse after getting married

We chose that date, July 3rd, because on that date we met forty-nine years ago. Coincidentally, July 1st was the first day same sex marriages were legal in Delaware.  

Our witnesses, our good friends Judy and Jack Dawson

No family attended our wedding ceremony.  Bill's family cut him off about a year before I met him after they discovered he was gay.  Bill has seen none of his family since then.  The break occurred when Bill was at his mother's funeral and one of his sister confronted him with "We know about you!"  This was back in the Dark Ages when being identified as gay labeled one as sick and "less than". Also, Bill's family is from the South (Georgia). Unfortunately many in the South still have the same opinion of gay people.  I have experienced this first hand when researching my family tree (my father was from North Carolina) and was discounted and banned from contact with different family members.


My family never approved of my relationship with Bill but "accepted" it as long as our gayness wasn't mentioned.  "Don't ask, don't tell."  Well, by getting publicly married we broke that unwritten rule in my family and I haven't heard from my family since. Apparently Bill was all right as long as he was my "friend" but when we came out publicly it was too much for them to accept. Of course I am saddened by the estrangement of my two brothers and their families but you know folks, I live my life and they live theirs.  I can't and will not live my life they way they want me too.  Accept me (and Bill) as I am or not at all.  

That said, and I apologize for the negativity of this post, Bill and I are very happy. Meeting and living with Bill the past fifty-three years of my life is the best thing in my life. I would not be where I am today if not for Bill. 

Bill taking charge again

Thank you Bill for giving me such a happy and secure life. 

On to sixty years now!

I hope we have many more years together

Happy 52nd Anniversary!

Bill and me exchanging rings at our REAL wedding, July 3rd, 2013

Fifty-two years ago today I met the love of my life, Bill Kelly. 

Today is the 52nd anniversary of our meeting that rainy Saturday night in center city Philadelphia at the Westbury Bar on the corner of Spruce and 15th Street.  Little did I realize at that time I walked around the bar to thank the good-looking man who had been sending me drinks for the past three months.  

The first time he sent a drink to me from across the bar I was with my friends Ron Hampton and Ed Cage.  Jerry, the bartender placed a gin and tonic in front of me, interrupting our totally useless chatter that young gay guys are wont to have on that April 1964 Saturday night.

Seeing my quizzical look, Jerry nodded his head towards a handsome, smiling black haired man across the bar, who was looking directly at me.

Bill - 1964

I immediately said to my friends "Oh! Look who just sent me a drink!."  

I had seen this man many times before in the Westbury.  He was usually playing boisterous games of Skeetball with his friends. 

Skeet ball machines in a bar (this one probably straight with the women, no women in the Westbury that night)

You may ask "Skeetball in a gay bar?"  Oh yes folks, this was in prehistoric times (pre disco) in gay bars.  We were barely out of the Fifties.  Our entertainment in gay bars was a jukebox in which you could insert a quarter to play the latest Supremes hit or play Skeetball.  

Old fashion juke box in a bar - long before DJ'

I played the jukebox, Bill played Skeetball with his friends. The Skeetball machine was right next to the jukebox. I guess Bill saw me selecting items from the juke box, but I don't remember seeing him.  Only a loud bunch of guys playing Skeetball.  So when I realized that Mr. Popularity send me a drink, my first reaction was one of mockery.  I said to my friends Ron and Ed "Look at who just brought me a drink!"  Bill wasn't my type, not only for the looks even though he was very handsome but because I had no intention of becoming the next notch on his gun.  Bill was the type of guy who could have anybody in that bar that he choose, something he brags about to this day. And he was right, he could.  What was not to like?  He was good-looking, masculine, good body and super personality. But there was NO WAY I was going to become another one of his conquests. 

Bill during his U.S. Army tour in Germany - 1947 (I was only five years old at this time, Bill was 19)

More times than I can remember whenever I was in the Westbury and Bill was there, he would send a drink over to me.  I would accept (of course, I was very poor then) but would always laugh it off.  Oh how callous one can be when one is  young and foolish.  As Oscar Wilde famously said "Youth is wasted on the young."  I was one of those "young" fools.  

So it was a running joke, that whenever I was with my friend Ron and Ed and Bill sent over a drink, I would mock his attempts to pick me up.

Then came that rainy night in July of 1964.  For a reason I cannot remember now, I was alone at my usual spot at the corner of the bar in the Westbury. Because of the rain, there weren't too many guys in the bar yet. No one was playing Skeetball.  Then Jerry brings the proverbial gin and tonic over, and nods to smiling Bill at the other side of the bar.  Because I was by myself, I couldn't show off to my friends by making fun of Bill still trying to pick me up.  

My friend Ron, Ed (who Bill has in a choke hold) and Bill at his Pennsuaken, NJ apartment December 1964 after we all became friends.  Bill was goofing around with Ed because Ed had a crush on Bill, he thought he would take Bill away from me, foolish boy)

I acknowledged Bill by smiling and nodding back to him.  He smiled at me and raised his beer bottle to me (so romantic).  Then I thought "Why not just go over and thank him in person?"  

Believe me folks, I had no intention of pursuing a "friendship" with Bill but I am basically a nice guy (contrary to what some think) and my Mother raised me to have good manners. I lifted that cold glass of gin and tonic off the bar and walked around the bar to Bill.  My intention was to thank Bill in person then wander back to my spot.  I fully expected Bill to really try to put the make on me once I spoke to him person and was prepared to make a quick exit.  At that time I was quite experienced in ending aggressive moves by guys who were interested in me but who I wasn't interested in developing a friendship.  Not to be stuck on myself but at that time (1964) I was somewhat attractive and desirable with my tall, slim body and dazzling smile (listen to me, but hey folks, I'm just telling you like it is, or was).  

Me at Bill's Pennsuaken apartment 1964

I approached Bill. He was a bit surprised to see me standing right in front of him.  I said "Thank you for the drink and all the other drinks you sent to me."  Then I prepared to make my exit but much to my surprise Bill only said "You're welcome."  And then he made no further aggressive move towards me as I was so used to from other guys who tried to pick me up.

I'm paraphrasing here but the main thing I remember is that Bill was not the gay typical ogre that I expected.  I didn't walk away.  This was a pleasant man who was respectful to him.

I went home with Bill that night.  He drove me to his two bedroom garden apartment in Pennsuaken, New Jersey.  

I didn't have a car.  For the next seven months Bill would pick me up at my furnished, efficiency, 65$ a month apartment in Coatesville, Pennsylvania and we would spend the weekend at his apartment in Pennsuaken, New Jersey.  He would pick me up Friday night and take me back to my home on Sunday night. That's a 110 mile round trip folks. 

Me and Bill at his Pennsuaken, New jersey apartment 1964

Every week end made that trip.  We might have missed a weekend here and there but I don't remember.

Then came a time he asked me to move in with him.  

I always wanted to work in Philadelphia.  I told him if I got a job I would move in with him.  

I got a job at the Girard Bank where my friend Ron Hampton worked.  

Then I changed my mind about moving in with Bill.  For the first time in our relationship Bill got angry with me.  

I explained to him that I always wanted to live alone.  He told me, if I moved in with him I would always be free to come and go as I pleased.  He only had one request, just be discreet.  

And that folks is probably the main reason we're together still.  Bill has always given me the freedom that I craved since I was twelve years old and wanted to get out of the madhouse house family situation that I lived in with my family in a second floor two story apartment on Washington Avenue in Downingtown, Pennsylvania.  

Have there been "bumps" over the years?  Sure.  In fact four major "bumps" when I wanted to leave him because I got involved with someone else.  But you know what folks?  I've been very lucky because Bill always knew that he was the only person to truly love me and he knew these other people would not love me the same as he did.  And he was right. My relationships with these other people were Fool's Gold.  I never left Bill.  Came close a few times but it never happened. 

Me and Bill at our Philadelphia townhouse - 1976

For many years I thought our relationship was one of convenience for me and one of love for Bill.  But much to my surprise I came to love Bill.  A deep and abiding love.  A true love.

So on this day, the 52nd anniversary of our meeting I can truly say I am one of luckiest men on this planet.  

Happy anniversary Bill!

A 52nd Anniversary selfie I took this morning of me and Bill in our garage (I have difficulty getting Bill to pose for pictures these days so I take photos when I can)

Fourth of July, 2015

For the first time in my life, this Fourth of July I feel like an equal citizen of this country, the United States of America.

For all of my life (73 years) I have played by the rules.  I went to school and graduated.

After high school I joined the Army to fulfill my obligation as a citizen of this country to volunteer three years of my life in defense of this country, the United States of America.

After my three year service obligation was completed in January of 1963 I left the service because I knew I was gay and I didn't want to live a life of fear of being found out and being discharged from the Army as an "undesirable."  

I would have applied for a job at the National Security Agency, where I worked for two and a half years (in the closet) while I was in the Army.  I could have easily converted my status from Army soldier to civilian government worker at a nice GS rating.  But I didn't because at the National Security Agency, I had a top secret clearance and back in the Dark Ages of the Sixties, gays were considered blackmail material. Thus I left a potentially lucrative career as a government service worker.  Just think, if I had stayed in the closet and had a longtime secure career as a government worker, I could be one of those "Washington D.C. gays" who dominate the Rehoboth Beach social scene.  I would belong to "the club."  But alas, I digress of "would've, could've".  

Instead I got a job.  I won't bore you with the details of all my jobs but suffice it to say I had a mildly successful career first at a hotel, then thirty-seven years in bank operations and now the past seventeen years in the hotel business (again).  What comes around goes around.  

All these years I've worked I've paid my taxes.  I've been a good citizen.  I've paid more than my share of school real estate taxes and income tax to subsidize straight couples and their kids, so they could enjoy the Good Life.

Now this year, for the first time in history, gay marriage is the law of the land.  

For the first time in my life, my seventy-three year journey survival as a gay man, I am now an equal citizen of this country.  Know what I say?  

Better late than never.  

Happy Fourth to everyone!

Me and Bill's "official" 51st anniversary photo - a Selfie!

Happy Anniversary! Fifty-One Years and Counting!

Bill and I after the "deed was done." Pure happiness

Today marks our 51st anniversary.  Yes, we're Two Old Gay Men who survived.  

Two years ago Bill and I got officially married at the Sussex County Courthouse in Georgetown, Delaware.  

Ever notice when gay couples get married they all have BIG SMILES?

Our dear friends Jack and Judy Dawson were our witnesses.  

The Happy Newlyweds with their witnesses, Jack and Judy Dawson

Although our official marriage resulted in most of my family (two brothers and their families and many cousins who didn't show  up at the family reunion because Bill was there), we were so fortunate to have friends like Jack and Judy.  Our dear neighbors Bob and Barbara Murphy also volunteered to be our witnesses.  These fine folks are my "new" family, since my family can't bring themselves to recognize that Bill and I are their equal now.  Even one longtime close friend greatly disappointed me when I informed him of my marriage he blithely said "What's next? Marrying your pet?" I have mentioned this conversation before in previous blog posts so I won't go into it again now just to minimize the negativity on this post and this wonderful day.  Needless to say I told him his comment was very insulting and hurtful.  However, I still don't think he or his wife "gets it" which is a shame.  But people, even family or longtime friends who want to continue to view us as Less Than and not their equal in societal law, I cannot let them hold me back from living my life as a free and equal citizen of this country.

Waiting outside the Sussex County Courthouse with our friends (witnesses) Jack and Judy Dawson

Today marks the first day of our 52 year together.  It doesn't seem that long ago that I met Bill on a rainy Saturday night in July at the Westbury Bar on South 15th and Spruce Streets in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania.  Truth be told, Bill knew at that time that we would be together the rest of our lives.  To me, he was just a very nice man who was kind to me and treated me like a prince (and still does).  

Bill overcome with emotion as we're announced "husband and husband"

During the past fifty-one years, we've had our ups and downs like all couples, gay or straight.  But we've always been (lived) together no matter what our travails and circumstances.  I know it's an old overused cliche but Bill has always been "there" for me and I for him.  And we will be together until one of us departs this earthly existence.  

Bill couldn't hold the tears back

So on this day and every July 3rd until I die I will always remember that dreams sometimes do come true.  

Bill and I reflecting on our future together at the Georgetown Circle Fountain after we got married

Supreme Court Punts on Same-Sex Marriage

While eating lunch today with my MSNBC TV wallpaper on as background I heard:

"The U.S. Supreme Court cleared the way Monday for legal same-sex marriages in five more states.

the court refused to hear cases from the states - - Oklahoma, Utah, Virginia, Wisconsin and Indiana - - seeking to keep their same-sex marriage bans in place."


Oh my, oh my, what are those folks who are trying to protect the institution of marriage going to do now.  What with all "the gays" now able to get married . . . . there goes the neighborhood.  

I was going to begin my next sentence with "meaning no disrespect" to those who genuinely hold religious views on the traditional marriage of (and I hate this term) ONE MAN, ONE WOMAN (which isn't in the Bible by the way), I say "get over it."  Everybody and I mean everybody should be equal under the law.  

If two people (and not brothers, uncle or nephew, or whatever "slippery slope" argument those opposed to marriage equality use) love each other and decide to get marriage to enable them to have the same protections and benefits under the law that heterosexual couples take for granted, LET THEM GET MARRIED.  For God's sake, don't we have more important things to worry about in this country other than preventing two people who love one another from getting married?  

Twenty years from now today's children will tell there grandchildren "Yes, there was a time when Uncle Bob couldn't marry his friend Frank." And the grandchild will ask "Why?"

I remember about fifteen years ago when I worked at a bank in Downingtown.  A young guy (gay) who worked for me asked me "Was it true that the police would arrest you for just being in a gay bar?"  I said "Yes, I've been in a gay bar when the police came in."  He said "Why?"  I said "Because we were gay."  He asked again "But why? Just because you were gay?  How could they do that?"  I said, "Because they could and they did."  Guess what, there are now five more states than can no longer legally justify preventing Jim and Joe and Mary and Alice from getting married.  Those states are:

Oklahoma
Utah 
Virginia
Wisconsin
Indiana

Bill and me yesterday - together 50 years, married one year - we lived to see it!

Happy 50th Anniversary!!

Today is the day folks.  Bill and I, who met at the Westbury Bar on South 15th and Spruce Streets in Philadelphia on a rainy Saturday night July 3rd, 1964, celebrate 50 years together.  Who would've thunk?  Certainly not I.  However, Bill has often told me that he knew I was "the one."  I didn't at the time, I only went over to the other side of the bar to thank this dark haired, handsome older (his 35 to my 22 years) man who had been sending me drinks from across the bar for the past three months.

The first time I received a complimentary drink (gin and tonic, my Booze of Choice in those halcyon days) from Bill (Kelly) via way of Jerry the Bartender (who I later found out was a good friend of Bill's), I was with my two good friends Ron H. and Ed C.  As my friends and I were chatting it up, Jerry the Bartender interrupted and proffered a glass of gin and tonic and motioned his head across the bar towards a smiling dark haired older man and said "Compliments of the gentleman across the bar."  I nodded in acknowledgement and took the drink. Of course I took the drink because in those days my budget was limited to $5.00 a night and even in those pre-Stonewall  days, $5.00 didn't buy one too many drinks.  

My reaction to that dark haired gentleman who sent over the drink?  I had seen him before and I knew he was a very popular guy in the bar.  In fact, he was the kind of guy who could have anyone he wanted (as he is often fond of telling me now) and I had made up my mind I wasn't going to be the next notch on his holster of tricks.  Oh no, not Ron.  I was much more discerning that I assumed that he assumed.  I wasn't EASY.  Besides, handsome though he was, he wasn't really my type.  I have a strange type but I won't go into that here.

Me back in the  day playing hard to get

So over the next three months, whenever my friend Ron, Ed and I were in the Westbury and Mr. Gunslinger sent over a drinkie poo, we laughed.  "Not I" I thought.  Oh no, I.AM.NOT.EASY.  Oh, the folly of youth.

Then came the night that I was by myself over the other side of the bar.  Where my friend Ron H. and Ed C. were that night is lost in my memory but I do know that I was alone on that rainy night.  

Leaning on the bar, listening to The Supremes sing "Stop! In the Name of Love!" on the juke box; I surveyed the scene of likely prospects in the Westbury that night.  Was this the night I was to meet my Prince Charming? 

Little did I know that it was.

By nature I am a kind and considerate person.  I never felt quite comfortable mocking Bill every time he sent a drink over but I was with my friends and we were young and foolish as friends of that age often are.  Now that I was by myself I wasn't in the mocking mood when Bill sent over yet another gin and tonic.  As Jerry the Bartender placed the drink in front of me (by the way, I had more of an eye for Jerry than Bill but you know how those things go) he nodded towards a smiling Bill at the other side of the bar.  I thought "Why not just go over and thank him?"  Now mind you, I had NO INTENTION of going any further with him because he still wasn't my type.  And, I still was of the mindset that I wasn't going to be yet another conquest for him, he who could get any one he wanted in that bar.  No way, no how.

So I pick up my gin and tonic and saunter around the bar to where he is leaning on the bar.  Our eyes met, he was smiling when I said "Thank you for the drink."  Somewhat to my surprise this deep, masculine voice responded "You're very welcome."  

And that's all I intended to do because now I expected the full court press to seduce me.  I had been though this kabuki dance many times before. Remember, at that time I was quite the looker (to some anyway) and I wasn't a slut.  I was and am more concerned with quality than quantity.  I was looking for romance, not a quick one night stand.  I was looking for Prince Charming and I was convinced that Bill wasn't it.  But oh how my attitude changed once I started to talk to him.

I was pleasantly surprised that he wasn't aggressive with me.  He was just "nice."  Wow, what a concept.  Mind you, physically he still wasn't my type but he was good-looking and VERY pleasant and VERY masculine.  Oh how often have I seen a nice looking man across the bar and then once I meet him and he opens his mouth, a Queen comes out.  I'm gay, I like MEN.  I have gay friends but I am sexually and romantically attracted to MEN.  I had assumed I was going to lead a life of only being attracted to straight men.  Bill was different.  He was gay of course but totally masculine.  He still is.  And that attracted me.

Bill at his Pennsauken, New Jersey apartment - "Prince Charming"

Anyway, to make a long story (fifty years) short, the rest is history.  I went him with him that night. Spent the weekend and the next six months of weekends with him.  In fact, Bill used to drive from his home in Pennsuaken, New Jersey to my two room efficiency apartment in Coatesville, Pennsuylvania and pick me up on Friday night to take me back to his apartment in Pennsauken.  Then on Sunday we would drive me back to my apartment in Coatesville, PA from Pennsauken, NJ. That is a one hour drive one way (51 miles) through Philadelphia, PA.   Now I ask you, who else would do that for me?  No one, that's who.

I moved in with Bill the following February 1965 after I got a job at Girard Bank in Philadelphia.  We've been together ever since.

Oh sure, there have been a few speed bumps in our Matrimonial Road if Wedded Bliss, but folks, we're still together and we will be together until one of us kicks the bucket.  

Last year we made our "marriage" official by getting married at the Georgetown, Delaware courthouse.  So today we are not only celebrating fifty years together but one year of a real marriage.

Happy anniversary Bill!