Friday, May 08, 2009

My Three Sons

My Mother has three sons. I am the oldest, born in 1941. My brother Isaac was born in 1943 and my youngest brother John was born in 1944. My father had 10 brothers and no sisters. My Mother told my father she wasn’t going to have a dozen sons. She always wanted a daughter. I guess I was the default daughter for awhile until I was about three years old. I will write more about that aspect of my growing up in a future blog posting.

My brothers and I were very fortunate in that our Mom was totally devoted to all three of her sons and her husband. She lived for us. I know it is a cliché but my Mom was really one of those saintly Moms. Even as recently as the beginning of this year she was still providing for us by helping us out monetarily with our various needs. That’s just the way she is and always has been. She has never spent money on herself or been concerned with “things.” Her family has always been her first priority. Mom set the standard for us, her three devoted sons.

Now in her 85th year she is failing both physically and mentally. We always knew this could happen but that we see the reality of her condition, it doesn’t seem real. To see this strong woman who we have relied on all these years change into someone else we don’t know doesn’t seem real. This can’t be our Mom. She’s going to snap out of it anytime soon and I can talk to her like I have for years. We could exchange family gossip, I could listen to her stories of working in the layer cake division of Pepperridge Farms, and we could relieve memories of Pop. We can no longer have those conversations.

The last time I talked to her on the phone about a week ago I didn’t get much of a response from her. The conversation was eerily reminiscent of my conversations with my friend down here who is suffering dementia. He’s not “there” nor is she “there.” It’s one thing to lose a loved one to death but quite another to have them still here but not “there.”

I don't like to keep writing depressing blogs but this is my life now. There are a couple of positive developments in my life today, this Friday May 8th, 2009. The sun is finally out after about 10 days of rain and dreary weather. The sun always brightens my spirits. I hope Mom can get out today and enjoy some of this sun. She always loved a beautiful spring day.


Mike said...

I think its good that you post these memories. Have you seen the movie "I REMEMBER MAMA"? I love that story. It always reminds me of how my Mother protected us kids when we were young. I cry every time I see it. Happy Mothers day to your Mom, we send our love. Mike and Glenn

Ron Tipton said...


Yes, I have seen the movie "I Remember Mama", several times. In fact I used to watch the TV version back in the Fifties. My Mother has often told me the story of when my father was away on one of his cross county trips as a truck driver during World War II. Here she was in 1945 with three hungry, crying babies and walking down a country road with no idea of where she was going to get food to feed us so we would stop crying. She said her father gave her $5.00 and she was able to get some milk for us. This was back in the day before anyone ever thought of welfare. You were on your own. We survived and are doing just fine now.