Mother's Day 2018

The last time my Mother and "her goys" were together, September 4 2005 for a photo shoot at J. C. Pennys at the Exton Mall, Pennsylvania - our Mother was our best friend - we were so lucky!

My Mother died September 16, 2010. I was privileged to have her in my life for eight-six years. 

Today on Mothers' Day I again remember how much I miss her. I remember how lucky I was to have her for my Mother.

Growing up I thought all children had mothers like my mother. A Mother who loved us (me and my two younger brothers) unconditionally. 

A mother who devoted her whole existence to our well being.  

Oh sure, my Mother wasn't perfect but where she was perfect was in her total love and caring for "her boys."  

Me with Mom December 2007

As I became older I was surprised to discover that not all my friends had mothers like mine. I even encountered friends who didn't like their mothers. Mothers who didn't care for them.  I have to admit at first this totally confused me, just didn't compute. How could anyone grow up with a mother who didn't care?

My Mother loved received her annual Mothers' Day card from "her boys."  Thus this time of year I feel a sense of emptiness that I didn't shop for that special, big, sparkly Mothers' Day card for my Mom.  

Happy Mother's Day Mom!

(left to right) Me, my brother John and Mom 1962

Mother's Day 2013

Mom at her favorite spot in her garden, at the end of the day

My Mom died in 2010.  This is the third year that I will not send her a Mother's Day card.  Oh sure, I know "holidays" like Mother's Day are over commercialized but my Mother did like to receive a Mother's Day card.  

Mom (far left) with her two older brothers George (center) and Randall (right) She told me that later her brothers tore the head off of her doll.  This is the only picture of have of my Mom as a little girl.  It was taken around 1927

I honored my Mother every day of the year.  Whenever I saw something that I thought she would like, I bought it for her.  I didn't have to wait for a holiday.  For you see, I was one of those lucky kids who had a great Mom.

Mom holding her half sister Ruthie on her shoulder- this is the only picture I have of my Mom when she was  about 14 years old -1 937

Oh sure, towards the end of her life, when she started to slip into dementia, things got difficult.  The last year or so of her life she was very angry with me.  I think her anger had a lot to do with the fact that I moved from Pennsylvania to Delaware, thus leaving her.  She felt the same way when my younger brother John moved to South Carolina with his wife over thirty years ago.  However, we didn't "leave" her.  She was living with our other brother Isaac.  For you see, "her boys" (as she always used to call us), had all the bases covered.

Mom as a high school sophomore - 1939

I had a room for her at our house here in Delaware.  She lived with Isaac at her home of over fifty years in Pennsylvania until he could no longer care for her.  That when we tricked her into moving to South Carolina with brother John, who is a care pastor and had the facilities in his home to better accommodate our increasingly frail mother. Plus, John had two women (his wife and daughter) who could better attend to our Mom's "woman's needs" than Isaac or Bill and I could.

Mom's graduation picture 1940 - she never graduated - she got married when she was 16 years old  had me

My brothers Isaac and John and I promised our Mother that we would never put her in a nursing home.  I have to admit that the last couple months of her life became increasingly difficult for John and his wife Barbara to care for Mom.  She was very demanding and difficult (as a result of her dementia).  But then she had her good days which made all the difficult days fade.  

Mom, me and Pop - 1941

I am so proud that we were able to keep our promise to our Mom.  Although she did want to spend her last years at her longtime home in Pennsylvania, my brothers and I were able to provide her with the personalized care that she so loved and appreciated.  

Mom and me - 1941 - humble beginnings but happy

There is a rarely a day that goes by that I don't think of my Mother.  We were best friends.  I discussed everything with her.  When she died I felt like part of me died.  In fact, part of me did die.  She was always there for me.  For sixty-eight years I had the comfort and security of knowing that my Mother was never more than a phone call away, ready to listen to my latest drama.  

Guess who makes their arrival in November 1941? Yep, it's me!

My Mom loved me like no one else has ever done. Bill comes a close second but no one, and I mean no one loved me like my Mom.  And I in turn can never love a woman like I loved my Mom.  

I was a Happy Baby (so says my Mother) - 1942

When I was younger and confused about my sexuality I often thought it had to do with my close relationship with my Mother.  I could never imagine anything other than a loving (platonic) and respectful relationship with any other woman other than my Mother.  Any other kind of relationship (carnal) with a woman repealed me (no offense to my present women friends).  I still feel the same way today.  

No mistaking who the Mama's boy was - that's me leaning on my Mom while my two younger brothers are trying to figure out that toy typewriter - 1950

I have many photos of my Mom.  Yesterday I pulled some out to represent my relationship with her over the years.  Some of these photos I have posted before in this blog.  Perhaps I'm posting too many this time.  But you know what?  It gives me a good feeling to honor my Mom this way on her special day.  I'm sorry Mom that I couldn't send you a Mother's Day card this year but here is my annual tribute to you Mom.  As I said earlier in this posting, I was one of the lucky kids.  I had a great Mom.  

Mom - one of my first pictures with my new camera she bought for me for Christmas - 1954

Some day Mom, if there is a Heaven perhaps we will see each other again.  Wouldn't that be wonderful?

Mom and "her boys" 1952

Mom and "her boys" 2005

Mom and No. 1 Son (that would be me) 2000

Me and Mom 2003 - a special friendship

Mom 1943

Mom - 2006

Mom with her cousin Sandy (left) and niece Elaine (right) - 2005

Mom didn't get many hugs growing up - me and my brothers tried to make up for it - 2007

Me helping Mom back to her house - 2007

Brother John helping Mom to her chair

Mom at the car where she met Pop - she was in the rumble seat - Pop carried this picture in his wallet until the day he died

The last picture I have of me with Mom - June 2010 (yes, she was mad at me) 

A few months before she died - brother John got her on one of her good days - 2010

Pop and Mom - 1960

Bill's Mom

Bill and his Mom (about 1952) in Toccoa, Georgia

Until this morning I've never seen a picture of Bill with his Mom.  

When I came into the kitchen for breakfast this morning, Bill was sitting in his Archie Bunker chair with his iPad.  He told me "Mark (his grand nephew) sent me a picture of me with my Mom." 

I said "Oh, can I see it?"  As I said earlier I've never seen a picture of Bill with his Mom.  Well, actually I have seen another picture of Bill with his Mom and that was one Mark sent last year of Bill with his two older sisters, and his half brother  and his Mom.  They were all little kids.  Such a precious picture.  

Bill with his Mom, sisters and half brother Norman Brown, Jr. - 1932

Bill's Mom died suddenly at age 52 about a year before I met Bill. I never had the privilege of meeting her. I've always wondered what she would have thought of me.  I know I would have liked her.  

Bill and my Mom became good friends.  My Mom was only four years older than Bill.  When she died in 2010 Bill lost one of his best friends.  

I'm not a religious person (all that "man-made" religion I can't stomach, no disrespect to those who do follow organize religion) but I am a spiritual person.  I believe that if there is any kind of existence after our earthly "tour of duty", that I will meet Bill's Mom.  Hey, who knows, maybe our Moms are already together and waiting for us. Now that would really be Heaven.

Bill and my Mom 1969 having dinner at our house in Philadelphia, PA. Also in the photo is my brother John and his wife Barbara and their two daughters Nancy and Vickey. Check out that "state of the art" TV in the dining room.  That was living!

Bill and me today at Gordon's Pond,  Delaware

Thanksgiving 2012

Me (with the hoagie), my Mom and my brother Isaac - 1954

This Thanksgiving is almost over but for the shopping.  Looking out from the back of my house I can see the stream of headlights of shoppers headed down Route 1 to the Rehoboth Outlet Malls and WalMart, which are open tonight.  Are you kidding?  I wish I was but I'm not.  You won't see me there.

Bill and I spent a quiet Thanksgiving here at home.  That's the way we usually pass the holiday.  A long time ago I used to get caught up in the tradition of making a big Thanksgiving dinner but since Bill and I don't eat that much, most of the food goes to waste.  It's not that I don't enjoy Thanksgiving, I do.  But I just can't get up the enthusiasm and energy to go through all of THAT for Thanksgiving.

Places set  for Thanksgiving Guests - 2006

For many years my longtime friend Bob had all us single (and married) gay men over to his house for a traditional Thanksgiving Dinner.  That was very nice of him and his partner Jim.  Very popular too.  Usually there were at least a couple dozen attendees at the Gay Single Man's Annual Thanksgiving Dinner.

Two-turkey Thanksgiving Dinner - 2006

The last time I went was 2006 when these pictures were taken.  Since then I've either had to work at the hotel (I didn't this year) or was a guest at my friend Bill B's house in Pennsylvania.  

That's me on the bottom with the baboon expression on my face (what was I thinking?)

I don't remember the last time I cooked a Thanksgiving meal just for me and Bill at home.  probably back when we lived in Pennsauken, New Jersey and that was in the early Sixties. For many years we ate at my Mother's.

Ham and conversation among old friends was also served at the Children's Table

And I think that is the answer why I really don't "do" Thanksgiving anymore, reminds me too much of my Mother. Mom died in 2010.  She had stopped making Thanksgiving dinners about four years before she died, when her mental capacities declined.  My friends Jim and Bob no longer do Thanksgiving dinners.  Without going into a lot of detail and protecting their privacy, they also have mental issues.  They can't handle it.  They can hardly handle their own lives which is a drama I am dealing with now.  

Hang on the good times guys, never know when it's going away - 2006

So folks, feeling just a little melancholy today. Not too bad but just a tinge of sadness.  

Not to veer too far off the subject.  Remember my "leg issue" of yesterday?  I hardly got any sleep last night, the pain was that excruciating.  Not as bad as passing a kidney stone but still the kind of pain that just wouldn't go away.  There was no position I could get in to alleviate the pain.  God, it was awful.  I finally fell asleep a few time but woke up early twisted and bent in pain.

I hobbled out to Bill (who always gets up at 4 am) with my cane.  He urged me to take a stronger pain killer.  Reluctantly I took one of his Excedrin Migrane pills, the ones they had off the market for a while because they wreck havoc with your stomach and invalidate your liver if you get hooked on them.  Well guess what folks?  It worked.  I've been pain free all day.  Stiff but pain-free.  Sort of like a Mitt Romney.  

Those pain pills only last twelve hours so I'll take one before I drift off to dreamland tonight.  I'm not going into work tomorrow or Saturday night, I have to take it easy on my leg, give it time to heal.  I think I'll be able to go into work on Sunday night though, albeit with my new "buddy", The Cane.  HERE COMES THE OLD MAN. 

I'm starting to ramble here folks so bear with me. As I said before, today was a beautiful, fall, crisp day here in southern Delaware.  A perfect day to get a head start on those Christmas decorations.  I didn't feel that either today folks.  I doubt if I will.  Christmas wasn't a big deal in our home so I don't get as sad about missing my Mother during that holiday as I do Thanksgiving.  I think why Thanksgiving always holds a special place in my heart was that was the first time I introduced My Bill to my parents after a year of two of estrangement with them after I came out.  Of course they loved Bill once they met him.  There were even times I suspected they liked Bill more than me. 

In closing (finally), I hope everyone who reads this blog had a wonderful Thanksgiving with their friends, family and loved ones including their faithful "kids", the critters (dogs and cats).  

Mom with her "friend" Rusty - a feral cat who got lucky

Betty

Betty White

Born: Betty Marion White January 17, 1922 (Capricorn)



Parents: Horace and Tess White



Occupation: Comedian and Actress

Betty Tipton

Born: Betty Louise Hadfield December 24, 1923 (Capricorn)



Parents: George and Ethel Hadfield



Occupation: Pepperridge Farm Frozen Foods Assembly Line worker, Mother and homemaker



These are the two “Bettys” that I have known in my life.



Both of these Bettys have always made me smile and feel good.



The first Betty is a very popular comedian and actress who is enjoying a fabulous renewed success in her very successful 70 year old career in the entertainment field.

Young Betty White

The second Betty is my Mother. My Mother is a very successful Mom who raised three wonderful sons (me and my brothers, no modesty displayed here) as well as being a loyal and devoted wife to my father for 60 years.

Young Betty Tipton

My family first noticed Betty White back in the Fifties when she appeared on the television show “Life With Elizabeth.” Ironically, neither Betty was born an “Elizabeth”, a distinction that they had to explain their entire lives.

Betty White in the Fifties

My father noticed how much his wife (and my Mother) looked like Betty White. Plus, they both had very similar personalities; very sweet but with just a touch of raciness. They both had this wonderful slightly raunchy sense of humor but in a nice way. Plus, they are both ardent animal lovers.

Betty Tipton in the Fifties

Over the years whenever I saw Betty White either on the old “Mary Tyler Moore Show” or “Golden Girls”, I always felt a special connection with this wonderful woman.

Betty White middle aged

Thus it was with special pleasure to witness the wonderful rediscovery of Betty White during her Super Bowl Snickers commercial and subsequent “Saturday Night Life” guest hosting appearance.

This woman has always brought a smile to my face and warmed my heart. Both “Bettys” have always brought a smile to my face and warmed my heart.

Betty Tipton middle aged

My Mom is now living with my younger brother and his wife and daughter in South Carolina. Physically she is not doing as well as the other “Betty” and needs car. But her mind is still sharp and she still warms my heart.

Knowing these two “Bettys” has been one of the special treats of my life for which I will be forever thankful.

Thank you Betty (both of you) for making my life so happy and may you both live a long life.

My Mom "Betty" with her three sons 2005 and her beautiful smile

Betty Tipton 2005

Betty Tipton 1939