Happy Fifty-five Anniversary!

Today is our 55th anniversary. Little did I know that rainy Saturday night at the Westbury Bar in Philadelphia fifty-five years ago that I would still be living with the love of my life, Bill Kelly.  And here we are today, still going strong albeit a little slower.

Six years ago we made it legal by being officially married on July 3rd, 2013, the 49th anniversary of our meeting. Wow, that was a fast six years.

I have to say, it's been quite an interesting ride. Hopefully we have many more years together!

Me and Bill at our rooftop deck in center city Philadelphia 1976 when we were young and vital

Uncle Bill

Uncle Bill with his nephew Ikey and niece Karen - 1975

This morning on Facebook this photo appeared on my timeline. Facebook has this function that reminds one of photos posted years ago. This particular photo said "42 Years Ago.  See Your Memories"  Facebook gives me the option of posting this photo on my timeline for my Facebook friends to see, which I did.

This photo was taken March 29, 1975.  At that time Bill was known to my family as "Ron's friend."  A member of the family but not quite equal. I have five nieces and one nephews. I also have ten grand nieces and nephews now and even one great-grand niece but that's a subject for another blog posting.

All of my nieces and nephew love Bill.  Bill has a way with children that I don't have. I've always thought it was a shame that Bill never had children of his own because he loves children so much. Of course back then in the Dark Ages of Gay Life a gay couple couldn't adopt a child.  I wouldn't want to adopt anyway not that I have anything against adoption.  I did fantasize at one time about making an arrangement with a willing lesbian to have a child but that situation was fraught with complications.  I decided to get dogs instead. 

Seeing this old photo and realizing that Bill is their legitimate uncle gives me a great feeling.  He truly is "Uncle Bill" now.  

Bill hasn't seen his nephew and nieces for years.  Nor have I since I am estranged from my brothers, which is a shame. Ironically what lead to the estrangement was Bill and I getting married officially. I don't think either one of my brothers approved of our marriage.  My brothers aren't bad people and I will always love them and wish them well. But I will not accept their attitude towards me and Bill that we aren't a legitimacy married couple. 

But one thing remains true, Bill is their uncle and he is my husband. 

Fourth of July, 2015

For the first time in my life, this Fourth of July I feel like an equal citizen of this country, the United States of America.

For all of my life (73 years) I have played by the rules.  I went to school and graduated.

After high school I joined the Army to fulfill my obligation as a citizen of this country to volunteer three years of my life in defense of this country, the United States of America.

After my three year service obligation was completed in January of 1963 I left the service because I knew I was gay and I didn't want to live a life of fear of being found out and being discharged from the Army as an "undesirable."  

I would have applied for a job at the National Security Agency, where I worked for two and a half years (in the closet) while I was in the Army.  I could have easily converted my status from Army soldier to civilian government worker at a nice GS rating.  But I didn't because at the National Security Agency, I had a top secret clearance and back in the Dark Ages of the Sixties, gays were considered blackmail material. Thus I left a potentially lucrative career as a government service worker.  Just think, if I had stayed in the closet and had a longtime secure career as a government worker, I could be one of those "Washington D.C. gays" who dominate the Rehoboth Beach social scene.  I would belong to "the club."  But alas, I digress of "would've, could've".  

Instead I got a job.  I won't bore you with the details of all my jobs but suffice it to say I had a mildly successful career first at a hotel, then thirty-seven years in bank operations and now the past seventeen years in the hotel business (again).  What comes around goes around.  

All these years I've worked I've paid my taxes.  I've been a good citizen.  I've paid more than my share of school real estate taxes and income tax to subsidize straight couples and their kids, so they could enjoy the Good Life.

Now this year, for the first time in history, gay marriage is the law of the land.  

For the first time in my life, my seventy-three year journey survival as a gay man, I am now an equal citizen of this country.  Know what I say?  

Better late than never.  

Happy Fourth to everyone!

Me and Bill's "official" 51st anniversary photo - a Selfie!

Happy Anniversary! Fifty-One Years and Counting!

Bill and I after the "deed was done." Pure happiness

Today marks our 51st anniversary.  Yes, we're Two Old Gay Men who survived.  

Two years ago Bill and I got officially married at the Sussex County Courthouse in Georgetown, Delaware.  

Ever notice when gay couples get married they all have BIG SMILES?

Our dear friends Jack and Judy Dawson were our witnesses.  

The Happy Newlyweds with their witnesses, Jack and Judy Dawson

Although our official marriage resulted in most of my family (two brothers and their families and many cousins who didn't show  up at the family reunion because Bill was there), we were so fortunate to have friends like Jack and Judy.  Our dear neighbors Bob and Barbara Murphy also volunteered to be our witnesses.  These fine folks are my "new" family, since my family can't bring themselves to recognize that Bill and I are their equal now.  Even one longtime close friend greatly disappointed me when I informed him of my marriage he blithely said "What's next? Marrying your pet?" I have mentioned this conversation before in previous blog posts so I won't go into it again now just to minimize the negativity on this post and this wonderful day.  Needless to say I told him his comment was very insulting and hurtful.  However, I still don't think he or his wife "gets it" which is a shame.  But people, even family or longtime friends who want to continue to view us as Less Than and not their equal in societal law, I cannot let them hold me back from living my life as a free and equal citizen of this country.

Waiting outside the Sussex County Courthouse with our friends (witnesses) Jack and Judy Dawson

Today marks the first day of our 52 year together.  It doesn't seem that long ago that I met Bill on a rainy Saturday night in July at the Westbury Bar on South 15th and Spruce Streets in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania.  Truth be told, Bill knew at that time that we would be together the rest of our lives.  To me, he was just a very nice man who was kind to me and treated me like a prince (and still does).  

Bill overcome with emotion as we're announced "husband and husband"

During the past fifty-one years, we've had our ups and downs like all couples, gay or straight.  But we've always been (lived) together no matter what our travails and circumstances.  I know it's an old overused cliche but Bill has always been "there" for me and I for him.  And we will be together until one of us departs this earthly existence.  

Bill couldn't hold the tears back

So on this day and every July 3rd until I die I will always remember that dreams sometimes do come true.  

Bill and I reflecting on our future together at the Georgetown Circle Fountain after we got married

Gay Marriage Timeline

We're featured on today's Gay Marriage USA timeline in Facebook

This morning I greeted Bill with the news that our marriage photo and video is now on the Gay Marriage USA timeline on Facebook.  Bill asked "When is this going to be over?"  Poor Bill, he wants so much to go back to anonymity.  I gently reminded him that when he got on the Ron Tipton roller coaster that his life would never be the same.  He said "I know!  I know!"

The last time we were on the Gay Marriage USA timeline, there was a photo of us before (1964) and after (2011).  We were hoping that gay marriage would be legal in Delaware before we died.  Well folks, as you all know that DID happen much to our surprise.  Who would have ever have guessed that in our lifetime we could actually be married for real and have all the dignity, respect and legal protections and benefits that accrue to other (read "straight") Americans?  I still feel like I'm dreaming and will wake up at any moment.

Now for my gay brothers and sisters who live in those states that still legalize discrimination against LGBT couples to get married and experience this euphoria that Bill and I are experiencing right now.  Yep, we're still on our honeymoon.

False Start

Today was the day we were to get our marriage license.  I saw a notice in a local gay publication (Letters From Camp Rehoboth) that said "Wedding Licenses Available June 3".  So, the planner that I am I thought I would get our licenses plenty ahead of time (they're good for 30 days).  

So I talk Bill into going with me to Georgetown this gorgeous, sunny spring morning, which is no easy task believe me. Prying Bill from his domestic haven is always a challenge.  

We drive down Rt. 9 to Georgetown, encountering an accident on the way (of course, what else)?  I almost run a red light trying to get around that accident.  Then I get into Georgetown.  The building where the marriage license bureau is located is right on the traffic circle.  Where to park?  And I can't parallel park so I know I'm going to get an "I should've driven" from Bill which I did.  

I find a parking spot about two blocks away and we do our Old Man Walk up to the administrative building. 

We get in the building, then we look for room 268.  We get their (after some helpful direction from a county employee, I'm sure we looked like what we are TWO CONFUSED OLD MEN). 

Top of the stairs when I still had hope we could get our marriage license today

There is a sign on the door "Back in 10 minutes."  Uh....okay.  We wait, not too long before an officious woman comes by and unlocks the door to the marriage bureau.

I go up to the window (with Bill hanging back trying to blend in with the background as is his wont when he's out in public as a gay man - no way out sometimes) and tell her "I'm here to apply for a marriage license." She glances at us, figuring out what the  situation is very quickly and says "Is this a same sex couple?" I say "Yes."

She tells me  "You can apply for a civil union license but a same sex marriage license won't be available until July 1st." Say what?  I repeat to her that I read  that I could apply for a same sex marriage license now but she was adamant, "No, you cannot apply for a marriage license for a same sex couple until July 1st." Okay, wasted trip?  No, not really.  I'll just count this as a trial run.  Of course I now have to deal with Bill since I pried him out of his comfort zone at home and he's got his feathers all ruffled.

I get back home and call the office of the local gay publication "Letters."  I told them my tale of woe. Sal, the very helpful guy on the other end of the line told me "I'll have to check this with Steve (Elkins) and we'll get back to you." 

Hey folks, no one said it would be easy.  

Thwarted again!

Going Viral On LGBT News Facebook

Hey folks, I just found out from my cousin Tim Tipton, that now Bill and I are featured on the GBLT News Facebook page.  We're going to have to get married now.

Seriously though, I hope to God that we live long enough to realize our dream of showing to the world that two gay people can be as committed to a loving relationship as any heterosexual couple.  And anyone who knows me knows that I like to break stereotypes.

Many thanks to my cousin Tim Tipton who suggested that I post the information that Bill and I have been together since July of 1964, that rainy summer night we met.  That was the night I was in the Westbury Bar on South 15th Street in Philadelphia that I decided to go over to the other side of the bar and thank that handsome man who always sent drinks over to me whenever he saw me in the bar with my friends Ron (another "Ron") and Ed.  

Center City Philadelphia, PA

I never paid him much attention and in fact my friends and I used to joke that it was going to take more than a drink to pick me up.  I had seen Bill many times before in the bar, playing the Skeet Ball machine with his friends.  I knew he was popular and I wasn't about to become another notch on his belt.  So when Bill used to send a drink over through his friend Jerry the Bartender, we would laugh among ourselves saying "Oh him again?"  

Westbury Bar (and Restaurant) 15th and Spruce Streets, Philadelphia, PA - 2012

The same building but look different in 1964 when I met Bill - wasn't a restaurant then nor did it have awnings.

Oh if that building could talk, the tales it could tell.  This is where my Life Course took a major change.

Then there was that one rainy night of July 3rd, 1964 when, for some reason, I was in the bar by myself.  Again, Jerry the Bartender puts a gin and tonic (my Drink of Choice) in front of me and nods his head towards the Skeet Ball machine and there is Bill, a BIG SMILE.  Uh huh.  Well folks, you know what?  I sort of felt sorry for the guy, sending me all those drinks month after month.  I think about three months in all.  I thought "Well, the least I can do is thank him."  And believe me folks, that's ALL I intended to do, was to be polite and thank him.  Although Bill was (and is) very good-looking he wasn't really my type. Plus, he was way too popular and I've always had a natural aversion to being just another conquest.  Oh no, if I was going to make it with somebody, it had to be real.

Me (left) with Jerry the Bartender who I found out was a GOOD FRIEND of Bill's at Bill's apartment in Pennsauken, NJ (yes, that is a cigarette in my hand and horn rim glasses on my face)

So I go around the bar, weaving my way through the throngs of guys clad in Sixties Wear (picture it, "Mad Men" all over).  Bill saw me coming and was somewhat surprised.  After all, I had never thanked him before.  I had never talked to him before.  So here I was up close.  I said "Thank you for the drink."  He smiled and replied "You're welcome." 

I was surprised.  He wasn't at all obnoxious like I assumed he would be.  I don't remember exactly how our conversation went but I do remember him telling me he liked "tall, thin guys."  I'm 6'4" (or was, I'm now 6'3") and weighed about 160 lbs (170 lbs now).  He continued to surprise me by not being a bore and listening to me talk.....and talk....and talk.  I like to talk.  

Me and Bill at his Pennsauken, New Jersey apartment - 1964

While we were talking another guy came by who was also named "Ron" (not my friend Ron) and started to talk to me. It was obvious he was trying to pick me up.  I wasn't interested in him.  I was waiting for Bill to rescue me.  Bill didn't.  He just stood there, leaning slightly on the juke box with a slight smile on his face watching me trying to discourage this other Ron.  

Me and Bill at our house in Philadelphia - 1970

The Other Ron was becoming more insistent when finally Bill said "Would you like to stop over at my place for a drink?"  Would I?  He lived in Pennsauken, New Jersey; over the Walt Whitman Bridge so "over there" was going to mean a car ride (I lived in Coatesville, PA 42 miles east of Philadelphia which was where all this was going down).  I opted to go with Bill.  Of course the Other Ron was much disappointed but I was free.  Remember, this was when I was a Shy Young Thing.  

Me and Bill at my parents' house Downingtown, PA - 1978

Long story short, I went home with Bill and we've been together ever since.  That was forty-eight wonderful years ago.  Here I met my Prince Charming and I didn't even know it.  You just never know.  

Me (center) with my brother Isaac (left) and Bill at my brother's home in Downingtown - 2012

This was my Christmas card picture this year.  My regular blog followers will recognize these pictures because I have posted them before but they bear posting again.  Interestingly, for all the pictures I take, I don't have that many of my Bill and me together.  Bill is camera shy, I'm not. I'm not a Shy Young Thing anymore.

Me, living the Good Life - 2011

Musings on a Dreary Sunday

I usually put a "Weekly Roundup" posting here but this time I'm just going to let the brain waves flow and put those thoughts and observations to this post.

First I loved this photo that one of my cousins posted to her Facebook page.  Only those "in the know" will "get" it.  Oh those WERE THE DAYS.

So here's the deal folks, I'm still having the old prostate problems.  Not to gross anyone out with TO MUCH INFORMATION (but I will anyway, you all know me - I say what I think with rare restrictions), every time I pee I feel like I have to pee again.  Yep, there is a constant "I have to pee" feeling in my lower abdomen.  This is going to take some getting used to.  My urologist doesn't want to do anything until he takes a biopsy of my prostate for cancer.  That doesn't happen until the end of January.  Long time away.  In the meantime, I suffer.  At least there is no pain, just the discomfort of always feeling the need to pee.  So there, got the TMI info out right away.

Yesterday Bill and I visited our friends who will move into their assisted living apartment today.  God, I hope that's not the fate that awaits me.  Both of them have lost their driver's license so their wings are severely clipped.  All of their adult lives both of them have practically lived in their cars.  A big change for both of them.  I had breakfast with them.  La La Land.  Today at noon my one friend is having a birthday party for him at their new assisted living home.  More La La Land.  Pictures may or may not be taken.  

Just got a bulletin that one of my co-workers gave his three week notice at work.  He also works part-time as I do.  Well, that didn't last long.  He hasn't even been on the job six months.  This month I've been filling in for all my three co-workers. Looks like I'm going to be working more hours again.  I can't remember the last time I worked a whole month of my regular shift.  My permanent shift seems to be that of a substitute worker.  I don't mind working, the job isn't that hard and I like meeting people and providing the service that I provide but perhaps the hardest thing about my job is that it disrupts my eating schedule.  You see, when I'm working a the hotel I can't eat.  What I do is slip a packet of Lance cheese wheat crackers in between the phones calls and requests for extra pillows.  An irregular schedule of this "nutrition" severely disrupts Ron's gastrointestinal activity (read between the lines - I've already provided too much information about my bodily functions in this posting).

What I would rather eat for dinner - yum!

I've been reading all the comments on the "Then" and "Now" photo of me and Bill on "Gay Marriage USA."  About 80% of the comments are positive but 20% are negative, some very viciously so.  Of course I read the usual "Gross!" and "You're going to hell!" and (get ready for it) "FAG!" (hardly the first time I've heard that endearment in my lifetime).  No surprise that there is still a solid undercurrent of homophobia in this great land of ours that doesn't hesitate to rear its ugly, hateful head and spew venom.  What I find interesting is the concentration on our sex life and "what do they do?" and the lack of interest in why Bill and I have been together for 48 years (we love one another).  I have a simple answer for those who are obsessed with our sex life (which is nobody's business by the way):

"Marriage is not about constant sex but a loving, committed relationship."

And that is what Bill and I have, a loving and committed relationship which will endure despite all the hate that is some continue to send our way.  Why two people who love one another upsets other people is something I will never understand.  

The one constant I have in my life is Bill and no matter whatever difficulties I encounter in life I know I have that one rock which is more than many people have in their life.  And in that respect I am indeed one of the luckiest men on the face of this earth.

Bill at my work place

Gay Marriage USA Update

Ike (my brother), me and Bill - September 27, 2012 - our Christmas card photo this year 

As of a few minutes ago, our posting on "Gay Marriage USA" has 42,670 Likes, 2,338 Comments, and 6,218 Shares.  The webmaster of "Gay Marriage USA" sent me a message this morning saying our photo was the second most popular photo ever posted to their website.  

A "Sergio" informed me this morning that our photo has now been published to "Occupy Borders" and that we are becoming "quite famous."  Hey, finally my Fifteen Minutes of Fame!

I am working on reading all the 2,338 comments.  About 30% of them are negative from the Usual Suspects, the Religious Right and the hateful homophobes.  I don't respond to them but I am attempting to respond to all the positive, supportive comments.  

Never in my lifetime did I dream that the relationship I have with Bill would be "accepted" so positively.  Of course I always knew it was right and had always assumed that we would go to our graves living in the shadows of legitimacy.  Now that there is an actual real possibility that we can be married for real, it is almost too much for me to comprehend.  

Even if marriage equality doesn't happen during our lifetime it will happen for those who follow us.  I am glad that Bill and I were able to do our part in furthering this fundamental human freedom of the pursuit of happiness with the one we love.  

It's all good folks, all good.

Gay Marriage USA

Yesterday my cousin Tim Tipton sent me a message that I should post my and Bill's picture to the new Facebook website "Gay Marriage U.S.A."  I thought "Why not?" Bill and I have been together a long time (48 years) and why not show others that it is possible to stay with the same person you love even if you don't have the many legal and financial benefits of marriage just like heterosexuals have?  Yes indeed, "Why not?"

Imagine my surprise this morning when Cousin Tim calls me and asks me if I saw Facebook this morning. As a matter of fact when he called, I was just turning on my computer to check my e-mail and perhaps to update my blog about my morning visit to have an ultra-sound.  Well guess what folks?  My "little posting" of the Before and After picture of me and Bill went viral on Facebook!  

My first thought was "OMG!  Bill's going to kill me!"  Bill is of the Old School of Thought that things like gay should be kept a secret and not discussed in public or polite society.  Believe me folks, I've been working on him for many years to convince him that it is ALL RIGHT to be open about his gayness and our relationship.  We have had many a battle over my openness and his desire to stay in the closet so as not to "offend anyone."  It's only been the last couple of hears that Bill has stuck his big toe and finally the rest of his feet out of his self-imposed closet.  I think the way I won him over to my way of thinking was convincing him that many people just don't care that we live together.  They are more concerned about their own lives than to waste their time worrying about those two old men who live next door to them who always have those fabulous flowers out in the driveway (I just put in winter pansies yesterday folks!) 

Winter Pansies in driveway

Bill's down in his room now reading the over 27,000 (so far) comments on our Facebook photos. That should keep him busy the rest of the afternoon.

Bill reading FB comments on his iPad a few minutes ago

Hey folks, I have to say this positive reaction to my Facebook posting does my heart good. You have to remember where we're coming from.  When I moved in with Bill in 1964, gay couples weren't cool. In fact, just being gay wasn't cool.  In fact, being gay was against the law.  Man oh man, how far we have come as a country.

Never in our lifetimes did we ever think we could live openly as a gay couple let alone get married....for real.  Nothing against civil unions and individual states legalizing gay marriages, all steps in the right direction but to us, the only thing that matters is getting married for real and that means same sex marriage recognized on the Federal level with all the legal and financial protections that are now applied only to heterosexual married couples.  

Our goal is to be married on our 50th anniversary with is in July of 2014.  At that time I will be 73 years old and Bill will be 86 years old.  Two old guys, two old GAY GUYS but not too old to get married.  

Me and Bill 1978

I Got That Funny Feeling Again

Bill and Ron Milton, Delaware -  2011

Today I got that "funny feeling" again.  Three times in my life I've gotten this "funny feeling." 

It is hard to describe this "funny feeling" but I'll attempt to do so now.  Have you ever read about those near death experiences in which the soon to be deceased see the "light" at the end of a long tunnel.  The light is always described as emanating a feeling of total love and acceptance.  The feeling is one of comfort and peace.

Maybe it is a stretch to describe my feeling as heaven but I don't know how else to describe it.

The first time I experienced this feeling was on a cold February night in 1963.  I had just completed a three years in the Army working at the National Security Agency in Fort Meade, Maryland.  During that time I had to keep my homosexuality totally in the closet because I didn't want to lose my top secret clearance and get kicked out of the Army, which is what they did in those prehistoric times of the Fifties and Sixties. 

Bill and Ron Pennsauken, New Jersey - 1964

After returning to my home in Downingtown, Pennsylvania I took a bus to Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania to spend a weekend with my friend Sal.  Sal was a cook in the Air Force also stationed at Ft. Meade.  His tour of duty ended a few months before mine.  Sal was also gay.  Visiting Sal was my "coming out party" so to say. Sal and his friend Howard were going to take me to my first gay bar.

Of course I was very nervous.  I didn't know what to expect.  Sal lived in Elizabeth, a suburb of Pittsburgh.  That cold Saturday night we were going to visit a small local bar in the nearby town of Clairton, which was the hometown of Sal's friend Howard.

The straight part of the local bar was downstairs in the main entrance to the building.  The gay bar was accessed by a fire escape in the back of the main building.  We climbed the fire escape to the gay bar.

As we entered the darkened bar from the metal fire escape steps, butterflies were swirling around in my stomach.  The first thing I saw after my eyes adjusted to the darkness was male figures slow dancing together to a jukebox record.  I forget the name of the song but I will never forget that sight. The wild butterflies in my stomach disappeared immediately and were replaced by a calmness and warmth.  I was "home."  I no longer felt ALONE.  I no longer felt like a criminal in hiding.  I no longer felt the heavy oppression of shame of being homosexual.  There were others like me and they looked normal!  I didn't see one man dressed as a woman.  The sight of those men slow dancing that night in that small town bar in Clairton PA opened a whole new world to me.

Ron and Bill Philadelphia, Pennsylvania - 1974

The second time I experienced that funny feeling was the first time I visited Provincetown, Massachusetts.  I had heard a lot about "P-town" as the gay resort destination of America.  I was curious and decided the summer of 1974 to take my vacation in Provincetown.  I wasn't as nervous this time. 

From my first experience in 1963 to this time eleven years later in 1974, I had been a regular weekend bar hopper to the most popular Philadelphia gay bars.  I was also in a committed gay relationship since 1964.  This July weekend in 1974 my good friend Bob and I were going to see what all the fuss was about in P-Town.  We weren't disappointed.

We made the twelve hour trip in Bob's pickup truck driving from my center city home in Philadelphia, PA through New Jersey, New York, Mystic, Connecticut and then finally to the tip of Cape Cod where Provincetown is located.

Ron and Bill Downingtown, Pennsylvania - 1978

We arrived in town on Commercial Street on a Saturday evening.  P-town was packed.  As our truck inched it's way through the Saturday night crowd, we realized we were at someplace special.  Walking, strolling and laughing in the streets were all kinds of couples.  Straight couples, men and men couples, women and women couples.  Everyone was so relaxed.  For the first time in my life I felt the tremendous burden of oppression lifted from my being.  This must be what straight people feel like all the time!  Freedom!  Now we knew what all the fuss was about in Provincetown.  Every summer from that date on I spent at least one week of my vacation in Provincetown, ending in my last visit which lasted three weeks in 1986. 

Today was the third time I felt that special "feeling."  This was when I learned that President Obama announced publicly that he supported marriage equality.  In other words, he fully supports same sex marriage.

I never thought I would experience this feeling again but I have and it feels damn good. 

Maybe, just maybe in my lifetime Bill and I can get married for real.  Not any of this civil union or domestic partnership second- class make-believe marriage but a real marriage.  You know, just like the straight people with all the benefits, protections and respect.  If and when then happens I will have realized my life long dream that only a few years ago I considered impossible during my lifetime.  Bill and I will be married. 

Bill and Ron Milton, Delaware - 2011

In a few months we will celebrate our being together for forty-eight years.  Maybe by the time we celebrate our 50th anniversary, during the second year of the Obama administration with a Democratically controlled House and Senate, Congress will repeal DOMA.  

The question is not "Is it going to happen?" but "When is it going to happen?" 

I hope I live to see it.  

Ron and Bill 1965

Eloquent

Republican Washington State representative Maureen Walsh speaks on equality.  And yes, when you're done hearing and seeing her speak you'll go back and make sure this is a Republican.  Maybe there is hope yet.  After all, it IS about equality.

Will You Marry Me?

Bill is not happy about being outed 

This morning, on bended knee, still weak from my week long bout with a cold/flu, I asked Bill to marry me.  He accepted!

After forty-seven years, we're going to make it legal...sort of. As of January 1st this year, Delaware now has in place a civil union law that same sex couple can marry.  I'm not sure is the world "marry" is exactly right but that is the word I'm using.

There he is, my Life Partner and Best Friend - Bill

While this new law is little more than a feel-good law for same sex couples, it does provide some statewide protection for hospital visits, insurance benefits within the state, and some inheritance rights.  We are still a long way from truly equality that our heterosexual counterparts take for granted every day of their lives.

Bill isn't going to like me writing about this, and usually I accede to his requests but this time I'm writing about our situation anyway.  Bill is a very private person.  And he is of the old school of gays when they are called "homosexuals" and you were not seen nor heard from lest you offend the straights.  Of course anyone who knows me, know that I am the exact opposite.  I make no apologies nor do I accept being discounted as an American citizen or human being because I just happened to be born gay.  If anyone has a problem with me being gay it is their problem, not mine.  Of course this attitude has gotten me into a lot of trouble over the years but that is my lot in life.  I accept the challenges and deal with them as they come.  Most battles I have won, but I have lost a few battles including two job just for the very fact that I was known to be gay and didn't disown that fact.

Now how are we going to handle the details of ACTUALLY getting married? Bill didn't want me writing anything about it on my blog.  Good luck there Bill!  No way I'm not writing about it.  I'm not sending out wedding announcements though.

After the "me first" fervor of the local gay couples dies down, Bill and I will take a trip to Georgetown, the local county seat.  We have a justice of the peace who has made it known in the local newspapers he doesn't approve of same sex couples but he is performing the ceremonies anyway because he wants to keep his job.  Hey justice of the peace!  It's called the LAW!  Obey it!

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I know of other couple who are traveling to Kent County or New Castle County were they will receive a friendlier reception of the local officials who are also obeying the new law of civil unions for same sex couples.  Not me, why should I go out of my way just to accommodate this guy who DOESN'T APPROVE?

Now I'm not going to get into all the arguments of "this will ruin the institution of marriage" by allowing same sex couples to marry (most of my best straight friends are of this opinion by the way), because that is just a waste of my time.  There are some people whose minds you will never change and I'm not going to waste one more minute of my time trying to make them "accept me."  I'm 70 years old and I'm tired of these people and I'm tired of dealing with this attitude  Tired.

So some day, maybe next month, Bill and I will take the short ride down Rt. 9 to Georgetown and jump through the whatever hoops necessary to finally get some legal protection and community recognition that we too are a loving and committed couple who contribute to our community and provide a better place on this earth for us all to live.  We're all in this together folks, get used to it!