Cutting Back

When you live on a fixed income (Social Security and small pension) such as I do, the steady rise of monthly bill is very noticeable and painful.  Thus recently I have been reviewing my bills and deciding what to cut back on.  

Our biggest expense is technology.  I have a very expensive Internet connection with Comcast. I can't cut back on that, I need my Internet connection.  Just this month they raised their modem rental fee from $7.00 to $8.00.  So far in the few years I've been with Comcast (reluctantly because I can't get FIOS where I live), their modem fee has risen from $6.00 to $8.00.  Same modem mind you.  

Now for Verizon.  I'm embarrassed to tell you what my total Verizon bill is so I shan't.  But we do have three iPads, two iPhones and DirecTV with four TV's.  How in the world my grandfather

Fieldon Jacob Tipton - my grandfather - farmer - uncomplicated life

survived without all this digital age stuff boggles my mind.  My Verizon account is ready for a cut back.  I've already disconnected the Internet connection from my iPad, Bill's iPad and I will disconnect his Internet connection from his iPhone.  We don't use any of those.  We use our house WiFi connection.  This alone is a $90 a month savings.  Just about enough to cover my every increasing supplemental insurance charge, that automatically goes up every six months.

Perhaps the main reason I moved to Delaware was to escape the ever increasing school taxes in my former home state of Pennsylvania.  Plus their township tax, the state income tax, the county tax, the per capita tax and the sales tax.  Here in Delaware I have the school tax that doesn't go up 16% to 22% a year like mine did in Pennsylvania. 

So I'll end this boring post about this retiree trying to make my limited income stretch.  I'm telling you folks, just surviving in this day and age is a challenge. I don't know what people do who are in a worse situation than me.  

Mr. Popularity

Suzanne and Joan of New Jersey

"Ron? Is that you Ron Tipton? I can't believe it!  It's Ron Tipton!"  

That was the question and statement that I had thrown at me last night at the hotel as these two lady guests came back to the hotel after having dinner at a local Lewes eatery.

Some background information:  this past summer I received an e-mail from the above mentioned Suzanne (the blonde lady in the leather jacket on the left).  She was browsing the Internet looking for options to retire to Delaware and guess whose blog she came across?  Right!  Le mein!  Moi!

She wrote me that she and her longtime partner Joan (together over thirty years) were seriously considering moving from their log cabin in the woods of Wayne, New Jersey to the tax and gay friendly coastal shores of southern Delaware.  I said I would be glad to offer her advice. 

We've exchanged a few e-mails since that initial contact and I've given her advice, mainly to move to Milton, Delaware.  In Milton one isn't too far away from the action in Rehoboth Beach and Lewes but out of the summertime traffic headaches.  

The past month or so I didn't hear anything from Suzanne.  Then last night, viola!  Karma!  Who would've thunk?  Of all the gin joints in all of the towns of all the world she walks into mine - oh wait!  That's what Rick (Humphrey Bogart said in "Casablanca") - in the Lewes/Rehoboth Beach area of Delaware whose hotel do they choose?  MINE!  

"This must be karma!" Suzanne said.  

Well, we had a nice little chat.  Right now they're in Milton meeting with their realtor to work out the details to buying a house in one of the several new developments in Milton.  Suzanne said she would call after they're done and stop over the house to meet Bill.  

Again, I am reminded of how powerful the Internet is and specifically my blog.  Also coming down this week for a week long visit is my new found friend Pat from Toronto, Canada.  We became friends when he discovered my blog one night while browsing through the Internet.  

Me and my buddy Pat - August 2013 (before my kidney stone attack)

Just a few weeks ago an old friend of my friend Bob McC. visited from San Diego.  He and my friend Bob McC. were an item some thirty years ago.  He didn't know if Bob was still alive but discovered that Bob was still with us, albeit in an assisted care facility.  I was able to facilitate a poignant reunion.

Me and Bob's friend Thom - October 2013

Hey folks, I moved to Delaware for a more relaxes and stress free life (and lower taxes).  I started a blog to expand my range of friends and to feed my life long love of writing.  I would say my "retirement" is working out pretty well, wouldn't you say  Lots of smiles around these parts these days.

Have a great day!

This just in!  Bill and I took a ride to Milton to see the development our new friends Suzanne and Joan are considering moving to.  Guess what, we just ran into them again.  Suzanne asked "Are you following me?"  I told her "No, I'm stalking you!"
She said if she runs into me randomly again like this again "I'm going to start to worry!"

It's all good folks.  Yet another happy LGBT couple moving to the tax and gay friendly shores of southern Delaware.  We're all inclusive here in Delaware folks.

Joan, Kathy (real estate agent) and Suzanne at Heritage Village in Milton, DE today

Home Sweet Home

That bright, white house - that's my home

This is my home folks, at the end of Whitehall Drive in Covington Chase, Milton, DE.  This is where I will spend the rest of my life.  At least this is where I PLAN to spend the rest of my life.

Yesterday I read a fellow blogger's posting in which he expressed concern with who would take care of him when he got old.  He is presently taking care of his father and his aunt.  I live with an 82 year old man, who thankfully is in good health although he is getting grumpier each year.  Assuming I outlive him, then what is to become of me?  Who will take care of me?

This is a concern that I have at my age.  Like my blogger friend said, he isn't concerned with being dead, but it is the process of dying that concerns him.  That is also my concern.  Perhaps my greatest fear is being dependent on someone for my day to day living.  My father's concern was that he didn't end up like his brother, wearing a diaper spending his days in a daybed in his living room looking out his picture window at the garden that he spent many happy summers toiling in.  Fortunately for my father he didn't die that way.  I can't say the same for my Mother.  The last three months of her life she was dependent on my brother and his wife and daughter for her daily care.  That is not how she wanted to die.  It isn't how I want to die either.

So where am I going with this?  I guess I'm just expressing my concern.  I really don't have an answer.  But these are the thoughts that swirl around in my head.  The way I really want to "go" is to kneel over one day while working in my backyard garden.  Just like that, gone.

In the meantime, I make everyday count.

A Taste of Summer

This afternoon I experienced a little spontaneous combustion and took the ten mile ride down Route 1 to Rehoboth Beach.  I rarely venture into Rehoboth during the "season" because of the hordes of touristas.  But I was feeling brave this afternoon plus I wanted to get one of those Tervis hot-cold glasses that don't condense.  The only place I know to get those is a place called Odeysea in Rehoboth and it is only open in the tourista season after 11 am.  When I do go into Rehoboth during the season I go very early in the morning around 6 am and I'm gone by 8 am before the meters kick in.

Yesterday I was invited to an impromptu lunch by my next door neighbors Bob and Barb along with another neighbor Jane.  Those Tervis glasses were used and it reminded me that I MUST get one this season.  Thus I put on my cruise wear and headed to Rehoboth this afternoon.

Of course the traffic was heavy as it always is once the tourist season swings into full Horde Force after Memorial Day.  Today was no exception.  I quickly found a parking slot.  Now to figure out the meters.  The charge for the privilege of parking in Rehoboth during the Height of the Season is $1.50 per fifteen minutes.  The meters now have the option of sucking up your credit card.  That's an automatic $3.00 charge for I don't know how many minutes.  I never got that far because I couldn't figure out what way to put in my credit card.  I think I tried ever position, something which I haven't done in my real life of 69 years and nothing worked.  Thus I retreated to my Bag of Quarters I keep for such emergencies.

After depositing more quarters in the meter than I did when I opened my first savings account at Downingtown National Bank when I was a 10 year old kid, I was on my way down Rehoboth Avenue looking for this store called Odeysea.  I couldn't find it.  I stopped into Critter Beach, an overpriced pet store that sells rhinestone collars for pampered pooches and ask "Where is the Odeysea."  The smile on the proprietor's face quickly faded once he realized I wasn't going to make a needless deposit in his store and he said "It's down at the end of the block."  Uh huh.  I acknowledged his helpful advice by saying "Hi" to him, hoping that maybe he would remember that we were introduced before. His partner is my dentist.  Alas, I don't think he remembered me.  I would like to think that I am memorable but among the masses of the flip-flop shoed masses on Rehoboth Avenue, I was just another Tourist Inquiring About Directions.

I couldn't find the store.  I went down as far as Hooters.  I knew it wasn't there.  I stopped into another store; one of those stores that sell overpriced beachwear to the gullible out of towers in town for Fun and Games.  The foreign sales clerk (we have a lot of Eastern European women and some men who work in Tourist Land during the season) didn't have a clue as to what I was talking about.  At least she was pretty and polite, unlike the brush off I received from Mr. Gay Man in Critter Beach.

I stop in Insight, a store that I have made many purchases from in previous years.  I got the Big Smile For the Potential Customer from the proprietor of this eclectic one block from the beach.  And the Smile didn't fade when I asked him direction to Odeysea.

Well, long story short - I found Odeysea - purchased my glasses - put them in my car -feed the meter again and then WHILE I WAS IN TOWN I MIGHT AS WELL DO THE BOARDS - I headed to the boardwalk to soak up Summertime.

I walked to one end of the boardwalk and back again, seeing very few opportunities for pictures in the midday sun.  The beach was loaded with white, flabby bodies soaking up the first rays of Summertime.  Every now and then I spied a young man (or young woman) who was very trim - not a trace of a spare tire of Love Handles - and I wanted to smack them.  How dare they!  But, I managed to control my more base instincts and played the Cool Older Dude Who Is Still In Shape while I briskly walked the boards.

As I walked by Funland, the 250 year old amusement section of the boardwalk, I hear the screams and laughter of Summertime.  All the years I've been to Rehoboth and walked on the boardwalk I've never been to Funland.  Oh I've been to "Funland" before but that was the back room of the 247 bar in Philadelphia during the 70's.  This "funland" was another whole different ballgame (no pun intended).

So I go into Funland with my iPhone video running.  That is the video you see on this posting.  This is my first and probably only visit to Funland and what Going to the Beach is all about for the out of towners.  The video is pretty cool until the ending when tall young lady who was operating the rides was  mesmerized by my iPhone cover.  My cover is of me hugging my Mom.  She loved it!  Of course I forgot to turn off my iPhone video while we were having the conversation.  But hey, this is what spontaneity is all about isn't it?

On my way back I stopped by the Mexican restaurant where my friend The Cajun works as the Host with the Most.  Of course he wasn't there again today.  This is the fourth of fifth time I've stopped by and  he WASN'T WORKING.  I'm beginning to believe that his blog postings of his overworked status with the young folks and his AS (after shift) cocktails are a figment of his overwrought imagination.  I saw him working there last winter but I haven't seen him since.  I've been there during a Friday Night Dine out group, stopped by a couple of time around 11 in the morning when then open and two more times during the midday.  Nada.  Oh well.  Whatever world he's in, I wish him well.

So this was my First Day back on my regular schedule or work.  I have off every day except Wednesday and Thursdays.  The other days I can do whatever I damn well please.  I love it.  Especially in the summertime.  I think I may even hit the boards early tomorrow morning before the Horde descends.  I might just get some beautiful and idyllic pictures of this summertime resort where I am so fortunate to live.  I'm back baby!

The Boardwalk, Rehoboth Beach, Delaware June 6th, 2011

Tax Time

Ron doing one of his least favorite chores - taxes

If it's January 15th, it's time to start my taxes.  


Oh how I hate this job.  I always do my own taxes.  I use Turbo Tax.  That seems to be the easiest program.  I've never used a professional tax preparer.  Never made much sense to me because the hardest part of doing taxes is assembling all the material and you would have to do that for the tax preparer anyway.  So here I am, my self-appointed starting point for preparing my taxes.


I don't have all of my information yet but I have to put the Turbo Tax software on my computer.  This year I'm using my iMac computer so this caused me some nervousness.  At my age, anything new and different causes me nervousness.  I like everything to be receptive and calm.  Now I understand all those old people I used to work with when I first started out in my banking job as a young, whipper snapper supervisor.  I thought they were such old fuddy duddies.  Well, here I am, and old fuddy duddy.  What comes around, goes around (as they say).  What they also say is poetic justice.  Yeah, I was one of those smart assed guys who made fun of old people and their ways.


Well, I needn't of worried.  The tax software loaded up in a jiffy.  No problems-a-meto.  


Now to assemble my information.  Isn't this exciting?  This is my blog folks.  I write about my everyday life.  Sometimes exciting, sometimes not so much so.  This is one of those "not so much so" days but I'm going to subject you to it anyway.  Please feel free to leave the premises now if you don't want to go to sleep.  


So I gathered all my income which was only from my part-time job at the hotel.  My income was down again this year.  I didn't work January and February last year.  Hotel business was down and the owner of the hotel cut expenses by laying me and the other part-time old guy off.  The economy sucked last year and it still sucks.  I'm giving 20% and 30% discounts on hotel rooms and we still can't get guests in the building.  But I'm working this year.  


I didn't get my Social Security income form yet.  The income on that will be the same.  This is the second year in a row we rich Social Security recipients didn't receive a cost of living increase.  Funny thing that, my cost of living this year really went up, especially my AARP supplemental insurance with United ("we're always looking out for the customer") Health Care.  Sure, sure.  My premiums with those crooks folks went up a hefty 10% this past year.  Lovely.  I feel like I'm holding onto the edge of a cliff with my fingers and the insurance company is stomping on those digits.  Once Obama and his new buddies, the Republicans start nibbling away at reducing Social Security benefits this year under the guise of "We must all make sacrifices" (except the top tax bracket folks of course), I expect my Social Security payments to shrink even further.  "Change you can believe in."   Uh huh.  I didn't expect it to be this kind of change.  But I digress.  Back got the exciting narrative of assembling my information to get my taxes ready.  See why I hate this time of year?  All my dormant anger is stirred up over our patently unfair tax system.  But again, I disgressed.  


I gathered up all my dental bills.  I had major work done this year.  Over $3,000 or which I was only reimbursed $1,000 from my dental insurance.  Hey, it's better than nothing.  


I also get to deduct my AARP supplemental insurance premiums, something which I forgot to do last year so I had to file an amended return to get some of that money back.


Well, after about four hours of recording all this information one my green pad and then transferring it to my computer, I'm ready to leave it for now.  As always happens when I do my taxes, I'm mad.  


I'll let what I've done so far season while I await the rest of my tax information.  I'm supposed to have all of it by law at the end of this month but there is always a piece of information that comes floating in the middle of February.  This year it is my E*Trade tax statement.  What's up with that?  


I'm going to have a little lunch now and then take a well deserved nap.  


Maybe my mad will be gone when I wake up.  

Cold Wind In My Face

Cold Ron at the end of his walk

Brrrrr!  A cold winter wind bites into my face. 


I just got back from my daily walk in the development behind me.  It's sunny out today but still cold at 29 degrees with a brisk wind.  Someone told me (one of my blogger buddies) that walking in the cold burns off more calories than walking in the warm.  So I gritted my teeth and as soon as I bounded from Significant Other's Jeep (we had just returned from perusing two local thrift shops - I bought a bowl and saucer that I DID NOT NEED), I told him "I'm taking my walk!"  And off I went, cold wind at my back.  Coming back, I got the cold wind full force in my face.  And here I sit, rosy cheeks (facial) and all.


Since the cold descended on these coastal plains of southern eastern Delaware, I haven't been taking my daily walk.  The seven pounds I lost this fall when I was tromping daily on the boardwalk in Rehoboth? GONE!  My weight is back up to 165 lbs.  Granted, at 6'3" most would probably consider that a good weight but I'm more comfortable in the 155 to 160 range.  I have the proclivity to add the excess poundage right around my waist.  I've already moved up one belt notch and my size 33 waist Eddie Bauer jeans are feeling a bit snug these days.  Not good.  I usually wear size 32 waist (36 length) for the snug fit.  Size 33 is for the loose goosey feel, which is what I am most comfortable with lounging around the house as I do during the winter months.  In the summertime I'm in baggy shorts.  I may look like hell in those shorts with my skinny legs but hey, I'm comfortable and that's what my life is all about now in these, my Golden Years.


So, if I want to finish off that egg nog pie that has my name on it in the refrigerator, I better gear myself up to more walks like I just did today.  That five pound bag of sugar that I'm carrying around my waist?  That will be gone in two weeks. You can mark that on your calendar.

Are We In Minnesota?

Here I am, at the hotel a 7 a.m. in the morning.  Yes, I stayed overnight.  Snowed in.


Are we in Minnesota?


Now I have to go and shovel more snow.  Who said they "just love the snow?" 

Rain Day

My rain slicked deck this morning

Rain day today!


I love the sun.  I love sunny days.  But occasionally we get a rainy day like today.  I love rain days too!


If I lived in Seattle or the Great Northwest, where it rains most of the time and the sunny day is a rare occurrence, maybe I wouldn't feel this way about rainy days.  


If I lived in Londan, England where gray skies, fog and rain are the norm perhaps I wouldn't be so fond of rainy days either.  But I don't live where the weather is rainy most of the time.  I live on the eastern coast of the Delmarva peninsula where we have a lot of sunny, dry days.  Thus, when we get a rainy day like today I welcome it.


Today I was scheduled for an appointment with my dermatologist in Pennsylvania.  I canceled the appointment yesterday because I don't like to travel in the rain.  I don't like to travel at night or in the rain.......or in the snow. But I do like to hang out here in my cozy nest that is my home.


This is my schedule for today:

• Update my Shutterfly pictures (dates and descriptions) for reproduction of prints for Christmas gifts
• Update my blog (which I am doing now)
• Vacuum the whole first floor (no excuse now not to vacuum)
• Put Christmas candles in the front windows of the house to complete my Christmas decorations
• Prepare a lunch of Frito Lay Blazing Buffalo chips and turkey salad sandwich
• After lunch lie down in my bed and read a bit ("Hollywood Beauty - Hedy Lamarr) 
• Drift off to sleep for my afternoon nap
• Get up about 4 pm and check my e-mail and the latest news
• Watch my previously recorded "Judge Judy" episodes
• Prepare a dinner of Caesar Salad, oven fry potatoes (with skins) and chicken pot pie
• Watch MSNBC evening lineup shows of: Dylan Rattigan, Chris Matthews, Ed Schultz, Keith Olbermann, Rachel Maddow, and Lawrence O'Donnell 
• Bedtime 

That is my schedule for today.  Tomorrow it will be different because I go to work at the hotel.  Each day is different.  But that is one thing I love about being retired.  I can do whatever I want to do.  


I often think of all those years (since 1954) that I had to go to school, three years in the Army, and then over 40 years on the corporate hamster wheel.  All those days I HAD TO get up early to catch the train to go to work in Philadelphia at the bank. 


I looked forward to the day that my life would be my own.


I looked forward to the day when I could sleep as late as I wanted to.


I looked forward to the day when my life was my own.


I looked forward to the day when I have the freedom that I have now.


I love it!

I Love the Water

Me, Labor Day 1979 - Provincetown, Mass.

My sign is Scorpio.  Scorpios love the water.  


For most of my life I lived inland, away from "the water."  


One day in 2005 I decided to uproot my whole life (and Bill's too) and move "near the water."


That's where I live now, on the coastal shore of the southern most county of Delaware, Sussex County.


I actually live two miles from the Broadkill River and three miles from the Atlantic Ocean.  But it doesn't take me too long to get to the boardwalk in Rehoboth Beach to soak up being near the water.


For the past few weeks, since I injured my wrist and right arm in a fall, I haven't been able to walk the boards in Rehoboth.  Bill took me down last Saturday early in the morning.  It was good to walk the boards again.  


My wrist and arm are slowly healing.  I can now drive but I still occasionally get unexpected sharp shooting pains in my left wrists if I turn my steering wheel too suddenly.  I have to be extra careful not to put myself in a traffic situation where I have to make any quick turns.


This morning I was organizing some of my old pictures and I came across the one posted above on this blog.  This picture was taken Labor Day weekend 1979 (31 years ago) in Provincetown, Massachusetts.  Back in those years when I was working full-time at a Girard Bank in Philadelphia, the only time to could go near the water was my summertime vacations to Cape Cod.  


I wasn't rich enough have my own boat thus the rented row boat with a motor.   That was just fine with me.  As long as I was near or in the water I was a happy man.  Just like now, I'm a happy man.  


Now it's time for my nap.

Sunrise on the Beach

Me this morning on the boardwalk in Rehoboth beginning my four mile walk

These days I have a new routine. 


I arise out of my nighttime slumber at 4:30 a.m. in order to be at the boardwalk in Rehoboth for my morning walk before the sun rises.


I love it.  


Where has this been the four years since I retired to lower Delaware?  


Each morning is different.  I remember asking my friend Jack Dawson, who lives on the Delaware Bay in a magnificent house, if ever got tired of the view.  Sitting in his living room you feel like you're on an ocean liner.  All you see is water.  Jack's answer was short and succinct.  "Never!"  


He said:


"Ron, there is always something different going on in the bay.  There are the change of seasons.  Some mornings the water is choppy.  Other mornings it is as smooth as glass.  And, of course, the birds always provide a constant source of entertainment."


I was fortunate enough to stay at Jack's home while my house was being built in 2006.  Jack and his wife Judy (a former classmate) were in Florida for the winter at their condo.  Jack was right, the view of the water never gets old.  You never take it for granted.  There is "always something going on."


This fact is a discovery I made since I began making a daily trip early in the morning to walk on the boardwalk.  Not only is there the Atlantic Ocean, there are the people.  What a parade of people.  Of course I am now one of THEM.  But what the hey?  


There was something missing in my life since I moved to Delaware four years ago.  I thought it was the lack of friends.  Oh, I have a few but I thought I would be the toast of the town.  Alas, those days are long behind me as I've aged to my present age of 68 years.  Maybe it's a combination of my personality and age.  I don't know.  What I do know is that I now feel a fulfillment that I haven't felt in a long while.

Morning on the Boardwalk

This morning I made another early morning run to the boardwalk in Rehoboth Beach.  This is my new routine.  I like it.

I'm surprised that it took me so long to discover this asset right under my nose.

I moved to Delaware three and a half years ago.  Our home is six miles north of Rehoboth Beach.  It was about a year and a half until I visited the boardwalk and that was because my brother John from South Carolina was visiting and wanted to see the beach.

Occasionally since then I made an early morning run on Sunday.  But I didn't consider going down to the board every day because of the crowds.  Especially in the summertime, I stayed as far away as possible.

A few weeks ago I decided to visit the boardwalk for my daily walk.  Usually I take my morning walk in the development behind where we live.  Lately the flies have been very bad.  As soon as I stepped into that development the flies would land on me.  If it wasn't the flies then it was the mosquitoes.  Thus I had to look for a new venue to take my daily walk.

I tried the boardwalk in Rehoboth Beach on morning.  The ride down Route 1 wasn't bad.  In fact, it was a straight shot.  Plus the parking is free until 10 am.  Since I get to Rehoboth Beach around 6 am, I didn't have a problem parking.

So I did it one morning.  Then I pushed my luck and did it a second morning.  Then a third.  It works.

I enjoy the walk plus I like to people watch.  My daily walks are a lot more interesting now.  If there is any downside it is the gas I'm using driving six miles down and six miles back.  That's a small price to pay for the enjoyment of taking my daily walk on the boardwalk in Rehoboth Beach.  Plus, I have another opportunity to take some more interesting pictures.

This is just another reason why I love my retirement in southern Delaware.

E-mail Cleanup

A few days ago I was showing my friend Bob C. how to access his e-mail on his new Mac laptop computer.  I signed in to my e-mail account.  Up pops my AOL account with 749 messages!  Bob says "You have 749 e-mails messages?"  Understandably he was surprised.  Mr. Neat and Organized here (that would me me) has a backlog of 749 e-mail messages.  Yes, it was true.  Guilty as charged.

At one time (I think about a year ago), I was caught up.   But I fell behind again when my almost new (only a year and a half old) Dell computer crashed.  Then, combined with my work schedule at the hotel, springtime and all that involves in backyard work, our trip south and whatever else excuse I can grasp, I fell behind again in keeping my e-mails current.  There is no excuse except that I got lazy.

Well, this morning there are no more excuses.  It is time to clean up my e-mails.

Most of my e-mails are notifications of postings from my Facebook friends or automatic notifications of new recipes.  I used to get a lot of news bulletins but I stopped those because by the time I read them, it was old news.  Then there are the notices of sales at J. C. Penney, Kohls, Yankee Candle and all those other stores I so thoughtlessly gave my e-mail address to when I made a purchase at their place of business.

Time to clean up.  I am being inundated.  I cannot keep up.

Last week I decided it is time for me to write my (now don't laugh) ..........memoirs.  My autobiography.  My Story. The Book.  I find I can't do this with a clear mind until I clear my desk (e-mails) off.  Then I'm ready to plunge in the adventure and journey that was my life of the past 68 years.

This is my Twilight Time.  I'm wrapping it up folks.  I'm getting my thousands of photographs in order (scanning.)  I'm getting all my old letters (the ones that I saved) out of their dusty storage of the past fifty years.  I'm scanning my memory (or what's left of it anyway) for stories and anecdotes for my book.

As the picture on this blog posting indicates, there may be a lot of clutter in my life but I have it all organized....sort of.  Now is the time.  

First Day of Summer Rehoboth Beach 2010

Ron on the beach

On this first day of summer I decided to mark the event by taking a rare trip into Rehoboth Beach.  

The new stimulus fun built Rehoboth Beach boardwalk this morning

Although I live near Rehoboth Beach (six miles north on the east side of Rt. 1) I rarely venture into Rehbooth Beach during the season because of the heavy traffic.  However, when I awoke this morning to clear blue skies and hot summertime temperatures, the beach beckoned me.  

Almost empty boardwalk in Rehoboth Beach, DE early this morning

The trick to going to Rehoboth Beach in season is to leave early.  Get into Rehoboth before the parking meters take effect at 10 a.m.  Thus, at 8:30 a.m. my '98 red Subaru Forester and I headed down the Coastal Highway (AKA Rt. 1) to Rehoboth.  Turning off of Rt. 1, into the Rehoboth traffic circle and down Rehoboth Avenue I was greeted by a sea of open, meter free parking spots.  I parked my trusty vehicle across from the Purple Parrot.  Next stop the stimulus funds built boardwalk.

The Rehoboth Bandstand (trash in front from the weekend)

Couple with children on an early morning stroll on the boardwalk

Ordering breakfast at Victoria's Restaurant on the boardwalk

Traffic picks up on the boardwalk - the skate boarders arrive

Overpriced boardwalk beach schlock (aka "essentials")

Ready for your grease infusion for the day?

Ever wonder where those $24.95 entrees come from?  Here's your answer.

Keeping the bod toned by an early morning run on the boardwalk

The beach is ready!  An umbrella and chair rental station.

A Baltimore Avenue sculpture - how would you like this in your front yard?

After taking a walk up and down the boardwalk and then venturing on Baltimore Avenue, I decided to visit my friend Wayne who works at a local Mexican themed eatery.  The picture below is me loitering outside the restaurant on the bench.  Do I look like I'm having a good time?  I am having a good time.  I love my life now in retirement (only working part-time at the hotel) in southern Delaware.  It just doesn't get much better than this!

Your's truly loitering on Rehoboth Avenue this morning

Next stop?  The North Shores Beach.  That posting is the next one.

Tatooed eye candy in the North Shores parking lot.  North Shores has the best scenery.

U. S. Census 2010

This morning I mailed my completed 2010 Census form. I received the form yesterday on April 1st as promised by the Census Bureau.




The form was very easy to complete. It took me less than five minutes to complete it.

The only information I had to record was my name, address, home ownership, sex, date of birth and race. I also record the same information for the other person living in my house.



I was very pleased to discover there was a box entitled “Unmarried partner” indicating the relationship between me and the other person living in my house. That “other person” is my partner of 46 years.

Marriage between same sex partners may not be in place but at least the government is now recognizing the reality of all the living arrangements of the people of this country. No longer will do I have to indicate I am “Single” when filling out such a form when in fact I have been happily “married” for the past forty six years! To be honest, I never thought I would live to see this day when Bill and I would be recognized as two legitimate people living in the same household. It is a wonderful feeling not to be discounted as a human being and an American citizen.



Bill and I are both veterans (me the Army and Bill the Army and Air Force.) Both of us have been productive members of the American society earning a living and contribution to the great American economy for lo these many years. During those years we have paid our full share of the many taxes of this land. Even though for most of those years we were discounted as American citizens and did not have the full rights most other Americans take for granted, we paid our full share of taxes. Someday I’ll add up the thousands of dollars we spent on school taxes even though we had no children in school. I don’t regret paying those taxes because well educated children benefit all of us in the country, gay and straight. However, I do remember the times when our straight neighbors in Pennsylvania used to harass us for even daring to live next to them because we were gay. But that’s a story for another day. Today is too nice of a day to go down that negative lane. The sun is out, the temperature is forecast for the low 70’s, and today is the 42nd Annual Kite Festival at the Cape Henlopen State Park. That’s where I’m going today, not back to the Bad Old Days when we lived in Pennsylvania with our homophobic neighbors.

This time last year I trained to be a Census worker. Let me tell you, this is a tough and thankless job. I don’t care how much they’re paying, it is a hard job. After a week of training I quit. Even after I quit I received a call from the Census Bureau asking me if I wanted to work this year. That call surprised me. Either I really did super on my test and training (which I did by the way) or else they were hard up for workers (which they are by the way.) I turned them down. I’m not one for going into strange neighborhoods and knocking on stranger’s doors inquiring as to why they haven’t sent back their census form. I have all the respect in the world for those Census Bureau workers who do that tough job. It is a job that needs to be done.

So folks, mail in your Census form today or as soon as you can. If you don’t send in your completed form you will receive a visit from a Census Bureau worker inquiring about the census form they haven't received. One thing is for sure though, that worker won’t be me.  But please make their job a little easier for those Census workers who decided to stick it out.  It's a tough job.

Loneliness

Perhaps the most pervasive fear that human beings have is loneliness. The most severe punishment in prison is to put a prisoner in solitary confinement. Yet there are those in life who are not in prison who live in circumstances that are just about as lonely as solitary confinement.




Lately I’ve been giving this more thought because a couple of my friends have died. My circle of friends is shrinking. My Mother and a good friend are still alive but they are sinking into the fog of dementia. Their bodies may still be here but their minds are gone. I can no longer talk to them. They are no longer the friends I had. Each day they drift farther and farther away from me.



I do not fear death but I do fear loneliness. I had expressed in an earlier blog posting that perhaps I missed having children. However, upon reflection I realize that I probably wasn’t temperamentally suited to having children. Maybe that was God’s plan for me because He knows what I’m like. I am really way too self involved with myself.



Every Saturday night I watch a Netflix rented movie in the comfort of my bedroom (my personal movie theater.) Last night I watched “Asylum.” It is about a psychiatrist's wife (Natasha Richardson) encounters an inmate (Marton Csokas) at a maximum-security asylum and finds herself curiously drawn to him. This movie was about loneliness. The psychiatrist’s wife is lonely. Even though she is married and has a young son, she was lonely. Almost everyone in the movie, including the character Ian McClellen played, was desperately lonely. This movie was well acted but very sad. This is a movie that lingers in your head long after you’ve seen it.

Earlier this week I checked in an elderly couple at the hotel. The lady told me that she had married her high school sweetheart…..many years after they were married to someone else. She told me the story of how they dated in high school but became separated during World War II. Both of them married other people and had families. Both of them eventually lost their spouses. Through a class reunion they met up again fourteen years ago and began dating again. They were in the hotel celebrating their thirteenth wedding anniversary. This is a wonderful story. This couple won’t have to spend their autumn years alone. They conquered their lonely problem although I did not they requested the room with two queen beds. Obviously their relationship was more about other issues than sex.



I’ve been very fortunate in my life. I met my Prince Charming when I was twenty two years old. I wasn’t looking for a Prince Charming or anyone to settle down with. I came out late (at 21 years old, still a virgin) and was ready to sow plenty of wild oats. Prince Charming (aka “Bill”) said he understood that I was a young guy and “had to get it out of my system.” Up to I was thirty seven years old I had a pretty active social life. However, on one Saturday night standing in a bar in Philadelphia at closing time when they flicked the lights on and off, indicating Last Call, I decided that I had had enough of the social life. The time had come for me to settle down. The charm of Nightlife in the Big City had faded (thank goodness.)

The years since have been one of mostly tranquil domesticity. Of course there have been some “speed bumps” in those forty six years together but we’re still together.



In our forty six years we have raised five Pomeranian dogs, lived at five different homes in three different states, and now are settling in for the Final Act of our life. The odds are that I will be the one left alone (Bill is 81 years old.)

As I see my friends die and drop out around me it becomes more apparent to me everyday I may be faced with living my remaining years alone. I’m way past my bar hopping days when I was out to meet that certain someone to spend the rest of my life with. That just isn’t going to happen. For one thing I’m just too old. I would probably fall asleep on my feet as the big hand on the clock neared midnight. I’ve had my experiences with guys I met in the bar (with sometimes near disastrous results) and I have no intention of going down that road again. And I’m certainly not going to be a Sugar Daddy to anyone. I’m not that rich and if I was, that isn’t my style. Been there done that. It doesn’t work, believe me. All one is asking for there are lies, betrayal and heartache. As I said, Been There, Done That.



I wonder what some of my single friends handle their loneliness or even if they consider themselves lonely. They’ve been single their whole lives and seem to be doing well. Perhaps I will go back into that mode. For a short time before I met Bill, I lived by myself. From the time I got out of the Army in January of 1963 to July of 1964 I lived alone. For the most of the time I was alright but there were times that loneliness caught up with me. At times I felt like I was going crazy. I would be in my one room efficiency apartment in Coatesville, PA and think “Is this all there is?” I knew there had to be more to life. Then I met Bill and my life took on a real purpose. Our life together has been one of sharing, supporting, loving and living life as two compatible like minded souls. I’ve always considered myself one of the Lucky Few to have met someone like Bill. Some people go through their whole life and never meet that special person. I’m not one of those people because I did meet my special person.



I’ve often joked with Bill that I’ll “check out” before he does. Then I wouldn’t have to face the problem of loneliness. But then one never knows what surprises life has in store for me. I just hope I don’t end up like those characters in that movie last night.