Father's Day 2018 and a Bonus Trump Rant

What do two men who are not fathers do on Father's Day?  We visit the Laurel Flea Market.

One of our annual summer traditions living here in southern Delaware is to visit the Laurel Flea Market. This is where we get a taste of the real Sussex County, Delaware. 

Delaware has three distinct demographic groups. There are folks like me and Bill, transplants from another state who moved to Delaware because of the low taxes and milder climate. Most of us live near on or near the Route One (Coastal Highway) corridor which includes Rehoboth Beach, Lewes, Milton, Dewey and Bethany Beach. We are a diverse group of folks. Many of us are old folk, retirees. Also there are many gays and lesbians, looking to live in a more tolerant climate. 

The population of inland Sussex County Delaware are more of the many generation Delawareans. Often called rednecks, sometimes with justification. 

The third demographic group are the Hispanics, many from Mexico and also many from Central America. This group are the people who do the work many of the longtime Sussex County residents don't want to do like mowing lawns, laying mulch, landscaping, and working in the chicken processing plants.  Many of them would rather go on disability and look for their next meth hook-up. They're the people who attend the "Make American Great Again" Trump rallies, ratifying racism and hatred in our country by our ten-cent Mussolini wanna be dictator president. You the know the one, who took over 2,500 children from their parents who were seeking legal asylum in our country and dispersed them throughout our country, without any plan to reunite them with their parents. Yes, this president who has made me ashamed for the first time in my life to be an American. This president who lies every day, spreads hatred and divisiveness among us and our closest allies and can't get his nose far enough up the asses of Putin and the world's worst tyrant dictators like Kim Jun Un, Rodrigo Duterte, and Recep Erdogan. This man who is the most reviled person on the planet now except for his ignorant racist supporters who would literally still support him (as Trump bragged) "If I shot someone on Fifth Avenue".  Yes, THOSE people.  Those people who never got over that a black family occupied the White House for eight years. But I digress. Back to our wonderful Father's Day visit to the Laurel Flea Market. I felt I had to do this rant after "Mellissa" (a commenter) accused me of being a racist.  Apparently she failed to note my tongue in cheek reference to "right, white guys" (we're white but anything but rich, believe me) or she disapproves of my term "redneck" when referring to native Sussex Countians. That's a term I learn when I used to visit my friend Bob McCamley in the 70's and we had to keep very low key, lest one of the "natives" burned down his single wide as they did other gay men and two gay bars (The Renegade and The Boathouse).  I know these folks, they're dangerous just as the Trump supporters and enablers are dangerous. Sure, there are some well meaning people who voted for Trump, hoping to either shake things up or they just couldn't bear to vote for Hillary (I never got the "Hate Hillary" thing but be that as it may). But how anyone could still support Trump these days after witnessing how ignorant, incompetent, hateful, and destructive he is, truly baffles me. I heard last night that Sarah Huckabee, the "Good Christian" who lies every day at the press briefing was asked to leave a Virginia restaurant last night, I thought "Good, here's a taste of your own medicine. You think it's alright for a baker to exercise their "religious freedom" and deny service of making a wedding cake for a gay couple, goes both ways Sarah. Maybe that restaurant owner doesn't like the damage you're doing to our country every day by lying for Trump, justifying his destructive and divisive policies. Maybe that restaurant owner's "religion" not to despoil her restaurant with a known liar and enabler of a wanna be despot. 

While at the Laurel Flea Market, with the exception of me and Bill, I only saw the two demographic groups of rednecks and Hispanics. I didn't see any fellow rich, white, retired transplants like me and Bill ("rich, white" being a tongue-in-cheek reference sometimes lost in translation to the written word). Did we feel like a fish out of water?  Oh yes!  But still, we do enjoy our occasional foray deep in the Sussex County culture. 

When we returned home we met our neighbor's new pooch, "Roxie Mae". We have the best neighbors!

And this is these two old gay guys spent their father's day.

Note: this blog was rewritten with the "Trump Rant" after one of my commenters called me a racist. I've been called a lot of things in my life (some earned, some not) but this is a first. Oh well.

Spring Snow Storm

The last three weeks the East Coast has been hit with three Nor'easters in a row.  Here in Lower Slower (Sussex County, Delaware) we missed the snow of the first two Nor'easters. However, we just got the tail end of yesterday's Nor'easter.  Yes, more snow. 

Folks, I'm getting where I hate snow. Pretty to look at from inside our comfortable and warm home, but to travel in it?  No way. Of course my big fear is falling and injuring myself. Then there is also the fear of an auto accident.  

Palm Springs if looking better all the time folks. But I'm going to stay here as long as Bill and I are together. I would never subject Bill to another move.  Plus, I do love our home here and I am very comfortable. But I have to tell you folks, I am SO tired of snow. I can see where old folks like me seek warmer climes to spend our declining year. I don't need this dangerous snow. Brings back too many bad memories of when I fell on the ice two years ago and tore my quadricep muscle in my left leg.  I was out of commission for three months. Thank God Bill was here or else I would have ended up in a rehab center. 

Yes folks, I have to get out of this danger.  This latest snow storm is just a reminder.

Me and Pat in Palm Springs last month, nary a snow flake in sight

Perfect Weather/Stormy Weather

Trimming this evening - yardwork in the late afternoon - my Zen time

Today was one of those rare treats....perfect weather.  The rains fell just about all day yesterday.  This after a long, hot dry spell.  After yesterday's rain, everything seemed to "pop" up.  The greens were greener, the colors were brighter. Yes, the plants love a big drink of water from the heavens.  I can water them with my water pail but nothing sets newly transplanted plants in the ground that a good soaking from JC.

So what is going on in my world?  Well, I had to work today.  Normally I work two nights a week, 3 pm to 11 pm.  Yesterday one of my full-time co-workers called and asked if I could take her 7 am to 3 pm shift today.  I consented.  Working day shift is totally different that the night shift.  For one thing I open the hotel, set out the breakfast, collect the newspapers, and put my hospitality personality on full display for the manager and owner of the hotel, who are in during the day.  Yes folks, working the day shift is totally different and I am exhausted.  

The lobby at the Inn in the early morning daylight - a rare sight for me

Why am I exhausted?  Mostly because of my continuing radiation treatment (seed implants).  I've been following discussions on the medical website Inspire.com which is a group discussion of folks like me who are dealing with cancer and other medical issues.  I've been involved the past two weeks with a couple of discussion groups of other men like me who underwent the brachytherapy surgery.  There is good news and bad news.  The good news is that I'm not the only  one having these after effects.  The bad news is that I am having these after effects which could continue as long as 18 months or as long as the seeds are radioactive.  What are the after effects?  You know but if I have to remind you, bowel movement, urination, fatigue, burning sensations, all the "fun" stuff.  Oh well, I guess it's better than the alternative.

Today after work I asked Bill if he wanted to go with me to the Rehoboth Diner.  Since I didn't have lunch (very difficult to eat lunch at work so I skip it) I was hungry and thought a good, greasy Eggplant Parm would hit the spot.  He acquiesced (Bill hates to go to restaurants) and we had a 4 o'clock dinner.  I'm still digesting it at this hour of 8:04 pm.  Be careful what you wish for.

The eggplant, fries and roll were good.  The cup of pea soup awful. Bill's milkshake good but expensive $4.50.  We won't be getting that again.  We'll get a half gallon of ice cream and make our own milk shake (or two, or three, or four)

I'm not watching much TV these days.  I used to watch MSNBC but since the Repugs are on a "It's worse that Watergate" witch hunt and the news media are all getting hard ons eager to oblige, I have no interest in following that phony drama.  I'm more interested in following the real drama of our local Republican politicians who got elected to office with the promise to "stop the gay agenda" and all five of them voted against the Marriage Equality act in spite of the fact that their county (Sussex) has the fourth large gay couple population in the United States.  Yessiree folks, we have some work to do right here in River City Gayberry, Delaware.

See here for today's column by Dan Flood recent our recent local election for state senator and state representative where both gay candidates lost to the straight "family values" candidates.  Those darn gay candidates, they should leave there gay agendas at home.

Voter Suppression - Delaware Style

Voting location Cape Henlopen High School lobby with the requisite Old Doddering Fool in front of me

Hey Karl Rove and all you tea bagging Republicans who want to suppress the vote:  check out the way Delaware is suppressing voter turnout!

I just got back from voting in the Delaware primary.  Whoever came up with this plan for my new voting place was genius!  Guess what they did.  Whereas I used to vote in nearby (emphasis on "NEARBY") Brittingham Elementary School in Milton, now I have to vote at Cape Henlopen High School on Kings Highway in Lewes.  Yep! Cape Henlopen High School ON A SCHOOL DAY ON ONE OF THE BUSIEST ROADS IN SUSSEX COUNTY.  Whoever came up with his idea was a genius!  I almost turned around when I saw the line of cars waiting to get into the school this morning.  Were they voting?  Oh no, they were the kiddies going to school.  Some of the cars were parents taking their kids to school, the other cars were the kiddies themselves.

Entrance to voting location - Cape Henlopen High School

After waiting about 20 minutes in backup traffic I finally got into the high school parking lot.  ALL THE PARKING SPACES WERE FULL!  GENIUS!  I almost turned around and went home.  But I was determined to vote for the gay candidates running in the Democratic primary so I bottled the steam that was coming out of my ears, gritted my teeth and persevered looking for a parking spot on the way edges of the school parking lot.

I think I see a spot only to find I'm going down a one way road which is block with traffic cones manned by a black Marine in fatigues.  "Good morning sir, how are you?"  (be careful what you say Ron, he has a weapon) How am I?  I AM FURIOUS!  Slowly I say, "Where can I park?"  He indicates a spot way to the back of the lot, near the football field.  Oh, okay I can walk but "how am I going to get their SINCE YOUR PARKING CONES ARE BLOCKING ME?"  He says he will remove the cones and LET ME THROUGH.  Thank you Jesus.

The Scooter Lady (with the BLACK HAIR) and the Old Doddering Fool and Wifey Poo holding door for Scooter Lady at the voting place 

So, I weave my way to the back of the parking lot, all the while Bill (who just HAS TO COME WITH ME EVEN THOUGH HE's NOT VOTING) is giving me advice from the Peanut Gallery.

I park.  I get out and walk the mile or so to the high school entrance.  I'm behind an old doddering fool (see the OLD MAN in the black and white stripped pullover who is in all my pictures).  I'm greeted by the People Who Always Hang Out At The Entrance Of The Voting Places.  They seem so glad to see me but in reality they couldn't give a shit about me, all they want is my vote.  I'm in no mood for pleasantries this morning.  All I want to do is get around that Old Doddering Fool and vote.

Next thing I know a woman in one of those personal scooters (or whatever they call them),  sneaks up behind me and almost runs over my foot.  She has her little basket on her personal scooter.  Oh how cute.

The People Who Always Hand Out At The Entrance Of The Voting Places all seem to know her.  Oh joy, we're going to have Old Home Week.  Lots of "Oohing and aching"  and "good to see you!" and all that phony bull crap. Can it lady with the too dark dyed black hair and get out of my way.

I finally get into the lobby of the school where the polling tables are set up.  I take out my iPhone and take my requisite picture.  Right away an officious looking man approaches me with a scowl on his face ("What?  I'm not allowed to take a picture?") He says to me "Can I help you?" I answer "Yes, I WOULD LIKE TO VOTE."  He thinks he has me now when he asks me "Can I see your voting card?" I wiped the smirk off of his face when I whip out my voting card. He gives me one of THOSE looks and points me to a nearby table and wouldn't you know it?  I'm behind not only the Doddering Old Fool who is trying to figure out where he puts his signature on the registration sheet (he's all confused with the upside down thing so the poll worker can read his name - I've dealt with these people before when I used to work the polls when I lived in Pennsylvania).  Finally he figures it out and shuffles off to one of the voting booths.

I'm next!  I sign my name even though my printed name is upside down (see the previous paragraph for the explanation) and I am pointed towards the next voting booth.  Would you believe it but the woman with the pitch black dyed hair and the personal scooter is IN THAT BOOTH!  Of course she is standing but that annoying scooter is sticking out under the curtain.  God, get me out of here!

Finally, her skinny phony ass finishes voting and she astrides her scooter and scoots out, waving to one and all like Queen Elizabeth II making her farewell exit from a public event.

Time for me to vote!  I WALK into the voting booth, curtain drawn and look for my favorite gay DEMOCRATIC candidates.  I push those electronic buttons.  I vote for the only name I know who is running for senator, Thomas Carper.  There are three candidates running for state treasurer or auditor, I forget which.  I know none of them.  One of them is a woman so I vote for her.  When in doubt always vote for the woman or a person whose name ends in a vowel.  That has always been my rule when voting and I don't know the candidates.  Let the women in and non Anglo-Saxon white males.  If there was a way to discern who was gay I would always vote for them too.  I'm a firm believer in breaking up the Karl Rove/George Bush/Dick Cheney/Mitt Romney/Paul Ryan, et al white homophobe male stranglehold on elected offices.

I push the big green VOTE button.  I'm done!  Now to get the hell out of there, past all the students shuffling through the lobby with their backpacks and full uniform, combat, camouflage fatigues. Excuse me but WHAT IS THAT ANYWAY?  I must really be an Old Fuddy Duddy but when I went to high school the only time we wore costumes was on Halloween.

So I weave my way through all the fashion conscious students (or pupils, there is a difference you know - as was explained to me many years ago when I went to school students were there to learn whereas pupils only attended school - see there Miss Hurlock something you said stayed with me all these years).

I walk the mile or so back to my car parked at the FAR END OF THE PARKING LOT NEXT TO THE FOOTBALL FIELD and face my next challenge - how to get the hell out of there.

After encountering several dead ends, I finally found myself on Kings Highway.  I zipped up to Rt. 1, past all the orange wheelbarrows (DelDot is in the midst of road repaving at night - lucky me I get to thread the needle every night when I come home from work at the hotel while they're laying asphalt).

I bitch to Bill about how my head is about to explode because I couldn't find someone to blast for the totally STUPID MOVE to have the voting location at A HIGH SCHOOL ON ONE OF THE BUSIEST ROADS IN SUSSEX COUNTY ON A SCHOOL DAY!

Hey, I love living in Southern Delaware but let me tell you folks, this was a disaster this morning.  I hope to hell they get their act straightened out by Election Day.  At least the school will be closed (I think) and I won't have to see all those wannabee student/soldiers in their Halloween costumes.

  The Annoying People Who Always Hang Out At The Entrance To Polling Locations

Memorial Day Weekend

Baby bluebirds (a few minutes ago) - they will be out today - Mama bluebird is a few feet away coaxing them out with a worm

What are you, my dear blog reader, doing this Memorial Day weekend?  Bill and I are hanging out here at Casa Tipton-Kelly.  Believe me, there is not a day that doesn't go by that I know how lucky I am to live here in Vacationland, Sussex County, Delaware.

This morning I dropped Bill off at his friend's house in Milton while I visited a cemetery in Harbeson to fulfill a Find a  Grave.com photo request.  Sound exciting?  For me it is.  I get so much pleasure roaming through cemeteries taking photos to post to my Find a Grave.com account.  Bill doesn't have a car now so when he visits his friends I have to drop him off which I don't mind at all.  Plus, not having someone eating for me in the car while I take photos.

This weather is just about perfect this first day of the Memorial Day Weekend.  Last night when I returned home from work on Route One after getting off of my shift at 11 PM at the hotel, I saw a steady stream of headlights headed down Route One towards Rehoboth and shore points beyond.  That is our industry folks here in the eastern shore of Sussex County Delaware folks!  On the other side of Route One our local farmers grow soybeans and corn and raise chickens.  Here on the eastern side we are in the hospitality business.  This is our Season.  This is what keeps us going folks.  Just make sure you bring your credit cards folks and charge early and often.

Flowers in full bloom in our backyard

I got a text message from my co-worker asking me if I could work for her Monday.  Her daughter is off and her husband is working and she asked if I could switch my Thursday shift with her.  I said I could.  Monday shouldn't be too bad.  Most of those credit card charging folks should be on their way back to points north by then.

Of course I will not venture into Rehoboth Beach at all this weekend.  Do you think I'm crazy?  Us locals turn over our beach resorts charms and amenities to the touristas on holiday weekends like this.  Oh no, I'm not crazy.

Last year on Fourth of July Weekend I agreed to meet two new friends in Rehoboth Beach.  What was I thinking?  I spent almost an hour and a half in traffic just to get into Rehoboth Beach and then I couldn't find parking.  Never again.  I have better things to do than sit in traffic on Route One, inching along just to find no where to park in Rehoboth Beach.

I'll tell you what I like.  After picking up Bill from his friend's house, I went out in our backyard and refreshed the birdbaths.  I checked the birdhouses.  The baby bluebirds will probably be out today.  Swallows have their babies in another birdhouse and yet another birdhouse swallows are making a new nest.  The Purple Martins are all settled in and incubating their eggs.  There is no sign of the starlings who were trying to hog the Purple Martin house.  I think by lowering the Purple Martin House discouraged the starlings from nesting there.

I just got up from my afternoon nap and I'm ready for a very pleasurable next two days here in the best place in the world for me and Bill, southern Delaware.  I love Delaware!

Laurel Flea Market

The Laurel Flea Market, Sunday March 20, 2011

Today I thought I would dip my toe in quintessential southern (Sussex County) Delware culture and visit the Laurel Flea Market.  You know the old adage 'The best intentions....etc?'  Well, it didn't go well.


To get to the Laurel Flea Market from our house on the East side of Route 1 to Laurel, Delaware; one drive down Rt. 9, through Georgetown (and THAT circle) and continues on Rt. 9 for about 28 miles.  Yes, a long drive.  Not only is Laurel a long way away from where we live but it is another whole culture.  

This pooch obviously didn't want to be at the flea market today

In Sussex County, Delaware there are two distinct cultures.  The first culture is the one that Bill and I and all of the thirty-eight occupants of our development represent.  Most of us are either retirees, transplanted from another state, or second home owners who escaped to Delaware to enjoy their senior friendly low taxes, mild winters and the slower placed coastal life style.  Most of us 'Transplanters' live on the East side of Route 1 or just over the other side of Route 1.  Yes, we HUG Route 1.  Granted, some of us venture farther into Redneck County, aka as the real Sussex County but those are a few, brave hardy souls, mostly butch lesbians and deeply in the closet older gay men who don't want to be identified with the out gay men who live in the Rehoboth Beach/Lewes/Milton area of southern Delaware.  

Somewhere in this conglomeration there is a treasure...I know it!

Occasionally we on THIS side of Route 1 venture into the REAL Sussex County, albeit at our own risk.  Today was such a day.  I felt like taking a ride to lighten my mood after the depressing events of this past Friday night, of which I wrote about in a previous blog.  I thought it would be nice to take a nice Sunday Ride and visit the Laurel Flea Market.  Bill likes to poke around and look for bargains and I like to take picture of the Local Folks.  Uh huh.  

Blankets and perfume stand - can't miss!

So I decide I don't want to go through Georgetown and I take a back road.  As a matter of fact I took a lot of back roads.  A LOT.  I ended up on Zoar Road, past the prison (always a fun ride on a Sunday) and we finally ended up on Rt. 9 which was where I should have stayed all the time.  Bill and I can't take a lot of riding in the car.  I'm actually more patient than Bill.  Bill especially doesn't like to be trapped (his words) in a car when the driver (that would be me) doesn't know where he's going. 

Bill is overwhelmed with the selection

So we arrived at the Laurel Flea Market and Bill was in a sour mood.  In fact he was in his Crotchety Old Man Mood.  Think Wilfred Brimley constipated for a week.  When Bill gets in these moods he goes into his Back Seat Drive Mode telling me how to drive.  Big mistake.  Only one of us can drive the car at a time.  Can you see where this train is heading? I've seen this movie before and it never ends well.  

One thing about the original Sussex County Guys, they may not have all their teeth but some of them are hunky studs - WOW!

So I park while Bill is grumbling and barking at me.  We get and are immediately assaulted by the Other Culture.  I'm always amazed that I'm amazed at the stark contrast between Us and Them.  For one thing most of them are missing significant amounts of teeth.  Another thing, the woman and men talk LOUD.  They also talk with a unique mixture of southern accent mixed with a faux Appalachian accent.  You've never heard anything like it before in your life.  

Oh yes, you can eat at the flea market too - if you get there early in the morning you can be serenaded by a Dolly Parton/Willie Nelson duo sing-a-like - you DON'T want to miss that - they're up in a bird's nest over the 'dining area'

So we're perusing the outside tables in the too chilly air, not blending in at all, looking at the junk on those same tables.  And I mean JUNK.  This stuff is for sale!  The stuff we saw at the thrift stores yesterday was in better condition that these dirty, torn and tattered remnants of a hard scrabble life that these people apparently live.  This is what poverty looks like, big time.  I felt like a rich man (which I'm not) slumming amount the Great Unwashed Mass.  And here I am with my iPhone taking pictures, trying not to be too noblesse oblige.  

Moi feeling vastly superior taking a photo of the Local Folk

I took my pictures, Bill took some pictures of me, and then we got the hell out of there.  The ride home was uneventful.  I stayed on Rt. 9, and yes, through the Georgetown Circle which was actually nothing on this Sunday.  So all my 'back road' travel was for naught.  All we accomplished was touring the back roads of Sussex County.  We did see a lot of new chicken houses though.

Do I look out of place or do I fit in?

Bill says the next time he's driving.  

The Philadelphia Flower Show

Yesterday morning Bob and I arrived early at the Delaware Tech campus in Georgetown. We were there to catch the Adult Plus+ bus that would take us to Philadelphia, PA and the Philadelphia Flower Show.

We didn’t have to wait too long until the bus arrived. We were among the first people on the bus. It didn’t take too long until the bus was full and we were on our way to Philadelphia under gray skies and dirty snow embanked roads.



Two and a half hours later our bus was winding its way through the traffic choked streets of center city Philadelphia. Our bus driver was looking for a place to discharge his bus load of senior citizens. We did have one four year old child on the bus. Oh yes, there’s always one grandparent that thinks their darling grandchild wants to see something like a flower show.



We disgorge from bus, which is much like getting off an airplane because you’re standing in the aisle and nobody is moving, and enter the Philadelphia Convention Center along with the other swollen masses of humanity.

Up the escalator to the second level where we hand over our tickets and get the back of our hand stamped so we can go out and then back into the flower show. The entrance of the flower show was crowded with many fine folks like ourselves eager to see, smell and experience the promise of spring after a long, hard, cold, snow slammed winter. This year Philadelphia set a new record for snowiest winter, 78.7 inches. The previous record was 65.5 inches, set in 1995-96.) Delaware also set a new record for snowiest winter. We had 72.7 inches. Our previous record was also in 1995-96.

Entering the flower show we were greeted by a gigantic arrangement of gaily, multicolored flowers. What struck me immediately was the heavenly aroma of the mixed scents of hyacinths, eucalyptus, daffodils and many other scents which I was not able to readily identify. I was lightheaded (more so than usual.)

My friend and I went with the river like flow of the crowd and viewed the many different displays. The theme of this year’s flower show was international. As in year’s past, the flower show was a grand display. Although the flower show was very crowded, this year we weren’t elbow to elbow with the crowd as we made our way past the exhibits.

Along with most of the rest of the flower show attendees, we took many pictures with our digital cameras. I also took several videos with my new Flip video camera to record the sounds as well as the sights of the flower show. It almost seemed like an Obama rally where just about everyone was holding up a digital camera taking pictures.

Just like Cinderalla, before we knew it, the hour was rapidly approaching the stroke of twelve. I had previously arranged with an old friend who I used to work with in Philadelphia to meet him for lunch at a small gay bar/restaurant that I used to go for lunch when I worked in Philadelphia. My friend and I left the Convention Center to traverse the maze of humanity and traffic clogged streets of center city Philadelphia to see if I could remember how to find my way to Woody’s Bar.

Exiting the Convention Center, we entered the world of traffic and pedestrian clogged streets, honking horns, cooing pigeons eating stale bread off the sidewalk someone had tossed to them earlier, and the typical cacophony of sounds of a major metropolitan city. I mentioned to my friend, “We’re not in Sussex County anymore.”

To be continued.

The Blizzard of 2010 - Lessons Learned

A week after the Blizzard of 2010 here are the lessons learned:




1) Always have a supply of fresh water on hand in case of emergencies.

2) Always have an alternative heating source available in case your lose power.

3) Always have an alternative light source (flashlight, candles) in case you lose power.

4) Always have non-perishable food on hand for extended power outages.

5) Always have a cell phone to contact the outside world for help

6) Always have a backup plan (or two) for evacuation for prolonged power outages

7) Do not depend on friends or neighbors to rescue you. They may be in the same or worse situation than you are in.

8) Be patient with those responsible for snow removal. Blizzards are not the norm and it will take longer for snow removal.

9) Don’t go out in a blizzard. Something that seems obvious but some people do stupid things thus putting their own lives and those that rescue them in danger.

10) Don’t vent your anger on others because someone isn’t immediately taking care of your needs. Remember, an emergency situation like a blizzard, it’s not just about you. We’re all in this together. Get over yourself.



These are just a few thoughts that came into my mind after witnessing the good and the bad that this blizzard brought out in people.



In my neighborhood we had one neighbor who complained that the guy scooping out the wall of frozen snow blocking his driveway wasn’t putting the scoops were he wanted them placed. Was the scooped snow blocking the road? No. Was it blocking his driveway? No. What was this neighbor’s problem? Maybe it was because he works for the lawn and landscaping company who offered to clear the roadways in our development for $5,000. We already had someone doing it for $1,000. They also offered to remove the snow from the roadways after the second storm for $4,000. Maybe he was pissed because he wasn’t successful in ripping us off at our moment of need. Remember, it’s not about you. We’re all in this together. Get over yourself.



We had another neighbor who called the HOA board member who was coordinating the snow removal. He was another one of these self important people. He threatened to sue the HOA board members personally unless the roads in the development, especially his path out to make more money (he’s an insurance salesman) was cleared immediately. Remember, it’s not about you. We’re all in this together. Get over yourself.



I have a friend who lives on 22 acres of wooded land. This past summer he took out his fireplace and put in a wood burning stove. I asked him why and he said “to save on my heating bills.” That made sense because he has tons of wood just lying around on his 22 acres wooded parcel. When he called (after his power came back on) he said he was afraid he was “going to freeze to death.” I asked him about his stove. He said he had no wood. He didn’t prepare any for the stove. Friend, take responsibility for your own action (or lack thereof) and be better prepared for the next emergency. 



In Lewes they found an 80 year old man buried in the snow. His body temperature was 27 degrees. He died a few hours later at the hospital. What was he doing outside during the blizzard? Where was he going?



This blog posting isn’t intended to dump on those who found themselves in a life threatening situation. It is only to bring to their attention that they should take responsibility for their own actions. Some decide to tough it out in their abode without power because they want to save money by not going to a hotel or save their dignity by not going to a shelter. These are choices that these people make. They need to accept responsibility for the position that their choices have put them. Anger doesn’t solve anything. Remember, it’s not about you. We’re all in this together. Get over yourself.



The good thing that came out of this blizzard is how unselfishly so many helped others. Much credit has to go to the Sussex Emergency Operations Center and to the National Guard. Their performance was outstanding. A friend of mine thought he was having a heart attack. His partner called 911 and the National Guard was at their snowbound doublewide (the same friend on 22 acres of wooded land without any wood for their stove) and the National Guard was there in less than 15 minutes and transported him to the Beebe Emergency Center. Thank goodness he didn’t have a heart attack but it was heartening to know that help was that close.



In my neighborhood, my neighbor who works as a physician’s assistant at the Beebe Emergency Center had just gotten off working 23 hours straight, parked at the entrance to our development (he couldn’t get in because there road was blocked and his SUV was stuck in the snow) and walked to the far end of the development where we live and immediately started to help my 81 year old partner shovel snow from our driveway. The next day I helped him to shovel out his driveway because now he couldn’t get out of the development because our development was still blocked at the entrance. My partner and I also help both of our other neighbors on the other side of our house to shovel out their driveways. While I was shoveling out my driveway, the young man driving the Bobcat front loader came by and scooped out the three foot wall high of frozen snow that was blocking my driveway. Seeing neighbors helping neighbors, that was the good part about this blizzard. No one was complaining about the “community” not helping them. We were helping each other.



When you’re not so focused on yourself but get out there and help others, you will find that “community” does help you. Leave the anger. It doesn’t help.  These people need to get over themselves.  What I find so interesting is those who demand the most help are those who are the least likely to help others.  These are people who feel entitled.  These are the people who are so blinded by their own selfishness that that are incapable of seeing the need to work together for the betterment of the whole community.  In their world view, it's all about them.  That insurance salesman neighbor of mine who was threatening to sue our HOA board members?  All he's interested in is getting out of here to make some more money because "he needs it."  Well, who doesn't need it?  Does anything think that for one moment he thought about his neighbors on either side of him and helping to shovel them out?  I had a friend call up seeking help.  Did he once ask how I was doing?  Of course not.  It was all about him. 

Yes, an emergency brings into focus what some people are really like.  I suppose that is one good thing that came out of this blizzard.  I'm glad I have good neighbors.

Blue Bubble

See this Accuweather map? See the blue bubble? See what it says to the left?




“Anyone living under this bubble is totally screwed.”



Do you know where I live? I live in Delaware, Sussex County. Sussex County is the southern most county in Delaware. It is on the Delmarva Peninsula right before the border to Maryland.



Yep. That’s where we live and we are totally screwed.



The snow started Friday night about nine o’clock. When I woke up in the morning and looked out the window all I saw was a total whiteout. White, white, white…..everything was white.



Estimated snowfall is 30 inches. I can’t even open my front door.



Bill got up early to shovel the driveway at 3 a.m. He got up again at 8 a.m. He went out to shovel the driveway again in the horizontal snow. There was no trace of what he had shoveled out earlier.



At 4 p.m. he went out to shovel the driveway again. No trace of the earlier shoveling. The wind had blown all the snow back into the opening he had created in the driveway. We decided to take our homeowner’s association offer of paying $25 to have our driveway plowed out after the snow stops (which it has now.)



There is now a snow emergency on Delaware highways. It is strange to look out my back wall of windows and not see even one set of headlights traveling down Route 1. I don’t think I shall ever experience this situation again. I hope I don’t ever experience this situation again.



It’s not all bad though. At least we have electricity. Thank God for that.

A New Day in Delaware

As the song “Nature Boy” by Nat King says, “The greatest thing is to be loved, and love in return.” That sentiment can be applied to a person, a pet, a hobby or a state. I love Delaware. And Delaware loves me in return. Rain or shine, cold or warm, I love Delaware. Each day I roll out of bed I think of how lucky I am to live in this wonderful state. Yes, other states have their charms. They may have their mountains, rivers, historic landmarks, cultural attractions. Delaware is perfect for me in this, my retirement. Even though I work part-time, I still consider myself retired. My job is fun and without the pressure of a five day a week, 50 week year grind. The people I work with are a varied and wonderful group of folks. We all have our individual personalities with our strengths and weaknesses, but we all work together towards the common goal of providing excellent service to the guests of the bed and breakfast where we are employed. What more could on ask for other than to appreciate and give thanks that the time has finally arrived after all these years of working for this goal. Are there bumps along this happy road of retirement? Sure. Route 1 is still torn up after 20 some months of construction. That nightmare is scheduled to end May 23rd, before the Memorial Day weekend rush of tourists. We shall see. The price of food and gas keep going up without any end in sight. The war continues in Iraq. Our best and brightest are still dying or coming home permanently injured fighting in a conflict that has no rational reason. And Delaware still doesn’t have a Wegmans grocery store in Sussex County. Those negative factors do not affect the pure beauty of a day like today. The sun is bright and clear, the birds are joyfully going about their business. The flowers are freshly washed from the early morning application of the sprinkler systems. Some neighbors head off for work. Yes, it will be another good day in Delaware.

Why I Retired To Delaware

The picture to the right is one of the reasons I retired to Delaware, to be near the water. All my life I’ve wanted to work and/or live near the water. As I approached my retirement age, I realized this was one goal I had not achieved. For many years I visited Provincetown, Massachusetts. I fell in love with Cape Cod. However, as much as the Cape was a perfect fit for me, I had to face reality. In Massachusetts the winters are long and cold and the taxes are too high. Delaware’s taxes are low and the winters are milder, with virtually no snow accumulation. Another good reason for moving to Delaware is that it is only 2 ½ hour drive to my Mother’s home in Pennsylvania. The trip to her home from Massachusetts would be a nightmarish sequence of plane trips, taking at least a whole day. The choice was easy. Delaware was my retirement destination. For over 30 years I had been visiting a friend in Sussex County, Delaware. I was well aware of the lay of the land. Another major factor for me was that the Rehoboth Beach area and many of its surrounding communities were gay friendly. Many older gay men and women found a community in Delaware that they could not find in their own hometowns. While the state of Delaware still does not offer domestic partner benefits, many gay retirees have found Sussex County, Delaware (also known as “Slower Lower”) a place where they felt comfortable leading normal lives shopping at Super Fresh or Loews. Same sex couples could go to restaurants and not invite quizzical and sometimes disapproving stares from other diners. In Sussex County Delaware, same sex couples can live in neighborhoods just like any other family. No longer are we restricted to inner big city neighborhoods. Gone are the days when a same sex couple would invoke suspicion and, sometimes, outright hostility by living in a family neighborhood. When I lived in Pennsylvania, for many years I had a neighbor who expressed their homophobic hostility to me and my partner almost daily. They made our lives tense and unhappy. That is all in the past now. I live in a development just two miles from Henlopen Bay. While I don’t live on the water, I do work on the water. To sum up the reasons I retired to Delaware, I work and live near the water, pay low taxes, and live in a friendly neighborhood. I have a great job. I work with wonderful people and love doing what I’m doing, working the front desk at a small bed and breakfast inn on the canal in Lewes, Delaware. That is just about as much as one could ask for. Oh, I wouldn’t mind winning the Powerball lottery this weekend.

Sunny Days Again

As twilight descends upon this wonderful sunny spring day, I can report that life for this retired gentleman has returned to sunny days. Yesterday I traveled the 37 mile one way trip to my dentist in Dover to have my new partial denture refitted. I could not use it the way it was. Wearing it was giving me a constant toothache, and I couldn’t chew food on that side of my mouth. Something had to be done or else I was going to go without, thus becoming a true toothless Sussex County native. Good news! Dr. Jolly (yes, that is my dentist’s name) performed her magic on my denture and I am now among the fully- toothed citizens of the eastern shore of Sussex County. If it wasn’t fixed I would have to seriously considering moving to the other side of Route 1 to Millsboro or thereabouts thus joining the many Sussex County toothless natives who live west of Route 1. More good news, my partner has come out of his depression. We are doing things together again. This morning we had our weekly Saturday morning breakfast at Zorba's Restaurant in Rehoboth Beach. Zorba's, formerly the Ocean Point Grille, is a family owned Greek restaurant. It has a comfortable, if not elegant, ambiance and serves home cooked food in a friendly all inclusive atmosphere. This is a restaurant that makes single diners feel comfortable. Food is good, prices are reasonable, service is great, and (a big plus) no screaming kids. What more could two elderly gentlemen want in the way of dining out experience? After breakfast we stopped at Lowes and purchased eight 4 by 4s to build garden boxes at the edge of our back yard. Yesterday, the Birdman of Milton put in two birdhouses for us. One is a purple martin birdhouse and the other is a bluebird house. He told us the purple martins will be arriving the first of May. The bluebird house is positioned directly outside our sunroom window where Bill can watch the activity all spring and summer. Who needs the Disney channel when we have so much of nature right outside our window? Today the temperature reached 78 degrees with no wind and some humidity. It was a tantalizing preview of the long, hazy summer days to come. Perhaps the only downside of the warm weather is that it takes me away from my PC and updating my blogs and website. It isn’t easy sitting in front of my computer with the outside beckoning me through my window. It is easier during the cold blustery days of winter to make the choice to bury myself into my computer and all its addictive charms. For now I will have to balance the lure of outside with the passion of keeping current my blogs and web site current. Life is good.

Chickens in Delaware

Shortly after I retired to Delaware, I noticed one thing that was to become ubiquitous on my travels around the roads of Sussex County, the chicken trucks. What are the chicken trucks? These are open bed trucks loaded with cage upon cage of 8 week old boiler chickens headed for slaughter. Sussex County Delaware is the most southern county of Delaware’s three counties. Sussex County land is open and flat, perfect for the long rows of chicken houses. Delaware is ranked 7th in the country for poultry production. I live east of Route 1, which is the ocean side of the peninsula. The demographics of “East of 1” are almost all new Delaware residents. Like me, most of these new Delaware citizens are retirees who moved to Delaware to escape the high taxes of their home states. Others have second homes to take advantage of the resorts of Lewes, Rehoboth Beach, Dewey Beach and other shore attractions. On the “other” side of Rt. 1, are the natives of Sussex County. These natives consist of the descendants of the original Dutch settlers, Nanticoke Indians (true natives) and the recent immigration of Hispanics, mostly Guatemalans. On occasion I have to travel on the other side of “One” to visit a friend or to shop at the local Walmarts (Georgetown and Milford). Almost invariably I will find my Subaru Forester behind one of these chicken trucks. My first reaction is profound sadness. These chickens do not know where there are going. I think of Nazi Germany sending trainloads of Jews to the death camps of Auschwitz and Treblinka. I want to holler “Run for your lives!” Some chickens do escape from their cages, only to be run down on the highway. Shortly after this picture included in this blog was taken, I saw the mangled form of one such chicken along the side of the highway. For all of these chickens, this first and last trip is the first time they have seen daylight in their short lives. They are raised in long, low slung chicken houses under artificial light. Their feet never touch the earth that have been warmed by sunlight. On this last day of their life they are roughly gathered by forearm scarred “chicken catchers” and shoved into wooden cages. These cages are stacked one atop another on the back of a tractor trailer flatbed truck. Thus they begin their Final Journey. They do not know that they will soon meet their end at one of the local chicken processing plants. They will be pulled out of their wooden cages. They will be hung upside down by their legs in a conveyor belt type contraption. The lucky ones will have the electric shock stun them to death before they are eviscerated. When I pass one of these chicken trucks I think of this. Quite frequently I’m on my way to lunch at the Ocean Point Grille II on Long Neck Road. They have a great Chicken Caesar Wrap. I wonder if I’m eating one of those chickens that only a week or so earlier were giving me a quizzical look from their Truck of Death.

Spring Is Coming!

Even though there is a chill in the air this morning, I know spring is coming. How do I know? My calendar indicated that spring officially arrived March 19th. But, as all of us who live in the northeastern part of the United States know, even though the calendar says spring is here we actually have many more days which are more like winter. At my previous home in Downingtown, Pennsylvania we didn’t put plants out until May 15th or the first Sunday after Mother’s Day. Downingtown is in a different temperate zone. Delaware is in the next warmest temperate zone. What a difference that makes. For years, prior to moving to Delaware, I used to visit my friend who lived in Sussex County, Delaware, which is the southern most located county in Delaware. In the early spring I usually left snow on the ground in Pennsylvania to be greeted by the yellow cheerful faces of newly bloomed daffodils bobbing in the brisk spring wind of Delaware. Now that I am living in lower Delaware I appreciate all the more the early arrival of spring. However, I am a bit anxious this year because the cold winds seem to be hanging around longer than usual. Sure, all the signs of spring are here. The winter snow geese have headed back north. English sparrows are busily making their nests in my birdhouses that border the open field of land behind my new house. The stunningly fresh yellow daffodils have indeed made their appearance along with winter pansies that have come out of their long hibernation. And yet, when I venture out, the cold wind caressing my neck reminds me that Father Winter hasn’t yet made his final departure. The sun may be out but the cold winds still blow. Come on spring. I can’t wait.

Reactivating Blog

Who said "I'm baaaaaack"? Well, after a long hibernation, I've reactivated my personal blog. I've changed the name to "Retired In Delaware" to more accurately reflect my station in the world at this time of my life. Is anyone interested? I doubt it. However, I am interested and I make no apologies for that. To me this is a form of therapy. Most if not all of us, if we're honest with ourselves, will admit that our primary interest in our life is us. Of course there has to be a balance. Excessive interest in ourselves is narcissism. Little or no self interest in ourselves is low self-esteem, which is also a problem. At this time in my life I feel the need to leave a history of myself that I existed. Why? Because there may be someone like me in the future who is interested in genealogy like me and wants to know more about the person behind the name and dates. I feel like I'm rambling here but be that as it may. I feel the need to keep a blog of my life as a retired gay man in lower Delaware (Sussex County). If you're reading this and don't like it, go to the next blog. However, if find my blog of interest, come back again. Lots going on in my life. Soon to be a movie!