Friday, August 14, 2009

Decision Time

Christmas 1971

After my visit earlier this week I have come to the conclusion it is time to move my Mother from her long time home in Pennsylvania to my brother’s home in Greenville, South Carolina. My other brother is taking care of her now at her home but her care is becoming ever more difficult. Without going into details (out of respect for her privacy), my brother in South Carolina has the facilities that are better suited to taking care of a partially invalid 85 year old woman. Of course the big problem is that my Mother doesn’t want to move from the home she’s known since 1958. Another problem is that my brother who is taking care of her now may not want her to move either. We have not discussed that possibility.

If we ask her to move, she will say “No” as she has said so often before. However, both my brother (in South Carolina) and I agree perhaps it is time to tell her that she is moving. As it stands now she has trouble walking and it is just a matter of time before she falls and breaks something then she won’t have a choice. We would prefer that she make the move now before she is completely invalid and dependent on nursing care.

None of us (me and my brothers) want to put her in a nursing home. She has been very emphatic that she will not go to a nursing home. Bother of her older sisters ended up in nursing homes. Her oldest sister died at 89 years of age in a nursing home a few years ago. Her other older sister is now 91 years old and still in a nursing home in the dementia ward. This is my Mother’s fear that she will also end up in a nursing home. So this is the case we have to present to her, the nursing home or living with my younger brother in South Carolina.

I’ve seen friends and relatives go through similar situation with their aging parents. I always knew in the back of my mind that my turn would come. I’m afraid my turn has come. My brothers and I will have to make some heart wrenching decisions concerning the future care of our Mother. No one said it would be easy. However, I never realized just how hard it would be. It's hard.


  1. It's good that you have your brothers to help you with this issue.

  2. Believe me Mike, I am so thankful for my brothers. We're all totally different in personalities but we all love our Mother the same. We want to do the best for her. I think this is the best solution.


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