Wednesday's W

 

Hey folks, taking a break from my Nurse Ron life and posting a different kind of blog posting. This one I stole from Ur-Spo of Spo Reflections.  I've always like these kind of posts because the information gives you an insight into the blogger's personality and life, something which I always find interesting.

Here goes:

What's top my mind - concerned that I might not survive caring for Bill. My biggest fear is that I will die before Bill. Lately I've been so fatigued, I can hardly move. Of course a lot of this may just be my imagination. I hope it is anyway.

Where I've Been - to the VA Outpatient Clinic in where I received my second dose of the COVID (Pfizer) vaccine. I have my proof of vaccination card and now I'm ready to travel. But I'm not going anywhere as long as I'm Bill's caregiver.

What I'm watching - MSNBC usually, which is in the background when I am writing a blog such as this or cooking in our kitchen. However, since the Trump Show left town I'm less interested in watching TV these days. I yearn for a good movie from my Netflix DVD rentals, which I haven't been able to find recently. 

Where I'm going - Where I would LIKE to go is my usual trips to Philadelphia, Palm Springs and Canada but since COVID, my travel plans were put on hold. Now that I'm a caregiver, my traveling days are unknown. These days my big trips are to Food Lion for food shopping and Royal Farms for their famous chicken and biscuits.

What I'm reading - I just finished reading "Queen" which was a very good, detailed biography of my all-time favorite female vocalist Dinah Washington. Now I'm reading "Extreme Measures" which is a book by a doctor on the end of life and the extreme measures the medical establishment goes to keep us alive no matter how old and sick we are. 

What I'm listening to - I don't and never have listened to podcasts (aren't they just a radio show?) Before Bill's stroke I used to listen to Artie Shaw  big band music from Pandora radio on my Bose radio. These days I don't listen, not in the mood. Perhaps later I will return.

Who I'm paying attention to - Bill, of course. He's had two strokes, I fully expect him to have another stroke and now that he is under home hospice care, I will not be calling 911 but his hospice nurse. The focus on Bill now is to make him comfortable. No more extreme measures to prolong his life. Sounds hard and cruel but at ninety-two years old and a long life well lived, Bill is so frustrated these days because of his failing eyesight, hearing, energy and cognitive issues. Right now we're making each day count. Each day is a gift. 

What I'm planning - cedar lining my remaining walking in closet (I have two of them in my bedroom, a "His" and "Hers" but since there is just ME, I'm splurging. I had cedar lined closets at our home in Pennsylvania and loved it. I would love to replicate that comforting smell of cedar in our home here in Delaware before I tap out.

Forty Questions

Borrowing an idea from my blogger friend Jon, forty answers to questions about myself (as if you didn't already know enough about me):


1. Are you lazy?
I don't think so. No more than your average bear. I make my bed and don't leave dirty dishes in the sink. But I do take a nap every afternoon.

2. What do you eat for breakfast?
Walmart bran cereal with almond milk and strawberries. Every day.

3. Coffee or tea?
Neither. Bottled water. Ever since I had kidney stones I gave up iced tea. Never got in the coffee habit.

4. What was your very first job?
Paper boy. Sixty-one Philadelphia papers and twelve local papers. Evening route. Made $5.00 a week. Spent it all on candy and comic books.

5. Occupation you wanted to be when you were a kid?
Fashion designer. Yes, a woman's fashion designer. Really.

6. What is the most unusual job you ever had?
Apple picker (when I was a teenager)
Gardner for estate (when I was between banking jobs. Went from $38,500 a year to $8.45 an hour). Didn't get much pay but I was in tremendous physical shape from laying all that mulch.

7. Have you ever been fired from a job?
Yes. From my banking job as trust operations manager when the new boss found out I was gay. Yes, you can get fired from a job if you are gay. I did get fired. I sued but I lost my suit because I couldn't prove it. Later I found out the man who fired me did the same thing three times at the bank where he worked in Philadelphia and eventually lost his job because of his homophobia. He fired me by making up a story that I wasn't performing on my job. I was but the president of the bank who fired me told me he had to make a choice between letting me go or my boss. However, he did tell me I would get a pension which I collect to this day. Real life isn't like it is in the movies. 

8. Describe yourself in three words.
Honest, introspective, curious.

9. What's the strangest thing you've ever eaten?
Squirrel brains. Sucked those brains out through the squirrels eyeball socket as my father instructed me to do of the squirrel he killed.

10. What is your favorite movie quote?
"But you are Blanche, you are!" 

Bette Davis said that, in the 1962 movie Whatever Happened to Baby Jane.   

11. What is your least favorite movie?
A difficult choice, so many. Citizen Kane is definitely one, so overrated. Others are any Charlie Chaplin films. I never thought Charlie Chaplin was funny. He had a stupid little mustache and walked funny.  That's funny? I never got it. W.C. Fields was infinitely more funny.

12. Were you ever a Boy/Girl Scout?
No. I wanted to be but my Mother said the family couldn't afford to pay the dues for my membership.  

13. Describe the perfect kiss in three words.
A nice gentle kiss on the lips from a person I really care about.

14. The last person you kissed.
Pat.

15. If you were gay, who would you want to have a passionate affair with?
 I am gay. I'm having a passionate affair now. Guess.

16. Are you an innie or an outie?
Innie.

17. Introvert or extrovert?
Inrovert when I was young, painfully so. Now semi-extrovert. I don't care what anyone thinks. I'm not so self conscious. 

18. Would you ever pose nude in a magazine?
No. However, I have been (posed) nude on a public beach. And I have a photo to prove it.

19. What have you forgotten?
A lot! So much.  I've actually forgotten what I've forgotten.

20. What color is your underwear?
White. Tightie whites. Considering changing it though to be more in tune with the times. 

21. Have you ever tried to cut your own hair?
Never.

22. Do you think you are selfish?
No. I don't volunteer my time though. If I work I get paid. My time is valuable to me. I don't knock volunteering for others though if that suits them. But I don't have enough time in my own life to take care of myself and Bill. No time to spare.

23. What are you afraid of? 
Sickness, poverty, old age, blindness, being paralyzed and senility. I don't fear death, only how I'm going to get there. 

24. Do you think people are basically good or bad?
I believe that most people are good. There is evil in the world but I believe the preponderance of people are good. But we always have to be on guard for evil wherever we find it whether it be a strange culture overseas or in our own family and friends. 

I25. Do you believe everyone deserves forgiveness?
No, I don't believe everyone deserves forgiveness. Some do but some don't especially those who commit either heinous acts of cruelty or taking advantage of weaknesses. I could never forgive anyone who abuses children or animals. Never. They are inherently evil and without redemption. 

26. Are you self-critical?
I am. I always seek to improve myself.  Never ends.  Just when I think I have solved all my deficiencies another one crops up. 

27. What is the meanest thing anyone has ever said to you?

Hard to choose but perhaps the one statement that comes to mind that I've never forgotten was what a person who I thought was a friend said to me when he was invited to a movie with other friends. This was way back in 1960 at Ft. Devens, Massachusetts when I was in the Army. I was standing with him with another friend asked him to go to the movies with their group.  I chimed in that I would be ready to go with them.  My "friend" turned around and looked at me and said "Who invited you?"  And here I thought we were friends. Never saw him again. I remember he was a Hispanic from Los Angeles.  Never forgot how that casual comment stabbed me right to my heart. However, I later made another lifetime friend at the same base so it all turned out all right.

28. What's the meanest thing you've ever said?
Guilty as charged. When I worked at a bank in Philadelphia this Pakistani guy kept sitting at my table during lunch. He wanted to be friends with me. I enjoyed eating lunch by myself. I gave him numerous hints which he didn't take. Then one day I told him "I prefer to eat lunch by myself."  The look of hurt he gave me brought back the memory of the time I was dissed back in 1960 by my Hispanic friend. So I was guilty of the same thing.  However, I still didn't want this guy as a friend, he annoyed me. 

29. Do you believe in a higher power?
No. Not if it means some old white bearded man wearing a white toga sitting on a gold throne in the clouds checking up on us ready to throw a lightening bolt down on our heads the moment we stray from his strict rules. However, I do believe there is some kind of "plan".  I just don't believe in what I call "man made religion" with all the praying and "Lord" stuff. That was invented by medieval lords to keep the serfs in line. When we die there is nothing. A total void.  

30. What's your idea of heaven? 
If there is a Heaven, which I doubt, it would be reuniting with my loved ones including my pets. Heaven to me would be a place where there is no cruelty or suffering.

31. What's your idea of hell?
We're living it now folks. Some of are lucky and occasionally find a brief respite but for the most part, life on earth is hell.

32. What makes you nostalgic?
My memories of my past good times, not the bad times. 

33. What is your biggest regret?
Not taking that first offer on the sale of my house in Pennsylvania. Biggest mistake of my life. My second regret was not investing all my IRA  funds into Amazon and Apple stock which I could have brought for $25 a share. Instead I foolishly brought Palm and E*Trade. So much for my investment expertise.

34. How many times in a day do you look in a mirror?
About three times. In the morning when I get up to put my teeth in. Later when I brush my teeth and in the evening when I take my teeth out. 

35. What time of day do you feel most energetic?
Usually late afternoon. I start off slow in the morning, gather some steam by noon before my afternoon nap. After my afternoon nap is probably my best time. Then I start running out of steam again about nine o'clock at night. 

36. Would you ever sky dive or bungee jump?
No way. A former boyfriend sprung a surprise sky dive on my one Saturday morning. WHAT?  I told him "no way!"  I'm adventuresome but not THAT adventuresome. 

37. Would you rather be rich and unhappy or poor and happy?
Poor and happy. No hesitation. 

38. What did your father teach you?
Can't think of a thing which is a shame. Oh wait, he did teach me to be ashamed of myself. For my mere existence. He never approved of me. He had low expectations of me and was always surprised when I exceeded his low expectations. He was baffled. 

39. What did your mother teach you?
Honesty. To oneself and others. Best lesson of my life.

40. The most agonizing hour of your life?
Passing that kidney stone a few years back. I thought I was dying. I wanted to die.
   
                  

Me, me, me, me and . . . ME!

Me incognito

Okay folks, I'll keep this going.  I believe the blogger John Gray started this and my new friend David the Penguin continued so here goes (and I'll probably continue to piss off some who think I'm already too self involved but what the hey?  Who cares now, it's always the same people who get pissed off at whatever I do):

• I am tall (6'3"), always have been and always will be
• I am thin. Not as thin (150 lbs) as I used to be but still relatively thin (170 lbs, all a spare tire around my waist)
• I am the oldest of the sons.  I am the only gay son which my brothers have never accepted
• I am the family genealogist.
• I love taking pictures (photos). I am NOT a professional photographer, I just love taking picture.  I have over 85,000 on this computer right now and many more to scan from old photographs
• I have lived with the same man for over fifty years now.  We got married on our 49th anniversary, something few gay couples can say.
• I have a Canadian boyfriend.  Yes, you read that right.  I have a boyfriend and I am married.  Deal with it.
• I've never been happier at any time of my life as I am now.  Even though I am old (73), have prostate cancer, trouble breathing, an extra heart beat (probably due to my romantic nature) and am tired most of the time; I've never been happier.
• I've had many jobs in my lifetime but my all time favorite was as a bank trust operations manager. That was my career.  I always wanted to work in a bank and I found a way.  My banking career lasted 37 years.
• My second favorite job is as a hotel front desk clerk.  I started out working in a hotel, took a 37 year hiatus to work in a bank, and have worked as a hotel front desk agent for the last 17 years (1998 until now, my how time flies)
• I live in coastal Delaware in my own house that is completely paid for.  Two things I always wanted in life (well, three actually) was to live in a house that was paid for (I grew up in apartments) and to live "near the water."  I do.
• The Third Thing I wanted in my life was to meet my soulmate. I have accomplished that goal.
• I tolerate way too much from some people who I thought were my friends but in actuality did not respect me or care about me.  I'm still working on distancing myself from these faux friends. I am weak this way.
• I speak my mind often without a social filter thus offending people, some of whom I did not want to offend (others I did, that's why I speak my mind).
• I take a nap every day and I like it.
• I have a tendency to accumulate things but I'm working on it.
• I used to be a shopaholic but am no longer.
• I am a former smoker.
• I never did drugs (a few whiffs of weed but didn't like it but I did inhale, at least I think I did)
• I've only been really drunk (vomiting in the toilet) twice in my life.  
• I don't drink at home but I do like to get a buzz on if I'm with friends as long as I'm not driving.
• I've had many pets in my life but my favorites were my Pomeranian dogs and my four Rhode Island red chickens.  Yes, chickens.  They loved me and I loved them.
• I love cats but my spouse doesn't so I've never had a cat as a pet in my adult life.
• I am a Find a Grave volunteer
• I had 67 pen pals when I was going to school.
• I am a college graduate, Peirce Business School 1968, Associate Degree, which did zero for my career but gave me a degree of self-confidence
• I am an Army veteran
• I used to work for the National Security Agency (communications intercept)
• At the end of my tour of duty with the Army in 1963 I was given the "opportunity" to extend and go to an "exotic country". The "exotic country" was Viet Nam.  I turned it down on the advice of friends who came back from 'Nam.
• I am one lucky son-of-a-bitch.
• I have had and continue to have a wonderful life.  
• I look forward to every day, even though more doctors' appointments are creeping in.
• Right now I have indigestion so I'm going to end this little self-absorbed tirade I'm on now.

Understanding a Scorpio Man

My good friend and fabulous world renown fellow blogger Dr. Spo sent me this link via e-mail a few days ago.  He then asked a simple question:

"Is this 'you'?"  

Guilty as charged, especially with the "demanding, compulsive, know-it-all, overcritical."  Also, I am very lustful.  Thank goodness not too many people turn me on but if you do, watch out.

Ummmmm…..yes.  Well, about 95% yes.  I do admit I an genetically unable to forgive or forget a slight.  Even after I go to my grave I am convinced I will still have all the slights in my lifetime catalogued in my brain for easy access, just waiting for the time when I can "repay."  This isn't one of my characteristics that I am proud of but there it is.  If  you want to be my friend (for life), don't slight me or…..take me for granted.  But then if I mean nothing to you, c'est la vie.  No love lost between either one of us.  Go about your life and I'll go about mine, no love lost (or gained).

How do I love?  Oh baby, with 100% intensity.  Oh yes, I go all the way.  If you get on Ron's Love Train, be prepared for a LOT of attention.  I'll wear you down for sure.  But I am gentle….for sure.

Am I secretive, manipulative, and all those other bad things?  Well…..maybe….sometimes.

All I can really say is that if you have me for a friend.  You're respectful of me, you literally could not have a better friend.  But if you take me for granted, are disrespectful or even worse, try to take advantage of me….you're playing a losing game with this Scorpio.  Oh sure, I've been burned a few time in my callow, inexperienced youth but never again. 

So thank you Dr. Spo for reminding me what a "black and white" personality I really am.  Don't look for too many shades of gray with me folks.

"Who The F--k Are You?"

"Do I know you?

One of my favorite bloggers Jon of "Lone Star Concerto" wrote a blog posting on the lack of spontaneity in his life.  He wrote about one of his experiences when living in southern California:

"Late at night in Hollywood it wasn't unusual to see streets blocked off while scenes for movies or a TV series were being filmed. One night I was walking home and the street I needed to access was blocked by a filming crew.  Annoyed and a little drunk, I simply kept walking - right through the set while they were filming.

The director said "Cut!" and then he yelled (at me) "Who the f--k are you?"

"I'm an unpaid extra," I told him."

The question the direction posed to Jon "Who the f--k are you?" struck home with me.  Isn't that question a great metaphor for our lives?  At least my life.  I liked Jon's answer: "I'm an unpaid extra."

That folks is the STORY of my life.  It seems that all my life, when I encounter someone I don't know whether it be from my childhood to my encounters here in Gayberry (Rehoboth Beach and environs) Land "Who the f--k are you?"  

Doesn't it seem to you (and you and you) that we constantly have to prove that we are somebody?  That we matter?  

Even my own father seemed to pose that question to me even though I was his the first of his three sons; sometimes the way he looked at me it seemed that he was wondering "Who are you?"  More than a few times he accused me of not being his son, that they got the babies mixed up in the hospital where I was born.  No matter that I'm almost the spitting image of him (especially as I grow older) and I have just about all of his physical mannerisms (much to my chagrin).  Sometimes I even wonder to myself, "who am I?"

Then there are to occasions, most recently at my job as the front desk "agent" (clerk actually, the schmoo who checks you in at the hotel) when I come face to face with "important" people.  I remember one such occasion.  A local, self important photographer stopped by the front desk to see the owner of the hotel.  As is my style, I attempted to engage him in small conversation while he waited for the owner to show up.  

I forget what I burbled but I said something innocuous to pass the time.  As the sound waves of my inane talk entered his ear drums and attempted to register, he slowly turned and looked at me with what could only be described as "Who are you?" or more accurately "Who the f--k are you?"  The contempt emanating from his narrowed eyes towards me could wilt a flower (yes, I am a gentle flower folks).  I quickly retreated back into my position of subservience and made a mental note not to ever again talk to this ectoplasm that purports to be a living, breathing human being.

Growing up poor, on the wrong side of town (literally), with a hillbilly (literally) father who didn't want children and who constantly belittled and demeaned me, I grew up learning that the best way to navigate my way through life was to keep my head low and not to say too much lest I offend "my betters"  by daring to speak unless spoken to.

Joining the Army after high school and leaving the negative environment of home was perhaps the best thing that ever happened to me.  Those three years in the Army matured me more than my previous eighteen years of walking and dodging on this planet.  For the first time in my life I wasn't denigrated for the way I looked (skinny, big nose, poor posture) or my humble family background (which is actually very noble once I researched into my family history, my first ancestor landed on these shores in the late 1600's)  

These days I sail through life as my own man.  Either you like me or you don't, that's your choice and if you don't like me that is your loss.  Actually, it really is your loss because I'm a damn nice guy.   

I never cease to be amazed at how many people dismiss me and others like me just because I don't have the pedigree of family or social connections and only consider me worthy of their attention because of my physical attributes (sex) or for what I can do for them (money).  

So to answer the question that anonymous director shouted to my friend Jon "Who the f--k are you?"

I'm somebody, that's who.  Somebody they will never be because never in my life have I ever asked anyone, "Who the f--k are you?"  I accept and judge people by their character and not their social pedigree, sexual conquest, or what I can get out of them.  And that folks makes me the odd man out.  But then I always knew I was odd.  

Welcome to my world.  

"How Well Do You Know Ron" - And the Winner is:

Me, being presented with the winnings of a 50-50 drawing at the Veterans Day Dinner in Millsboro, DE - 2005
This photo actually appeared in local newspaper! ($242 was my winnings)

All right, time is up folks!  I thank the Usual Suspects took the time to answer my little fun quiz about myself.  You all are my blogger base and I appreciate all of you and the time you took (and consideration) to venture your opinions about what makes me tick. I have highlighted my answers in blue.

• Which Good Samaritan activity would I volunteer for?
• Soup kitchen
• Habitat for Humanity house building
• Roadside litter pickup crew
• Big brother to a fatherless little boy
• What stupid daredevil stunt (that I haven't done already) would I do if given the opportunity?
• Bungee jump
• Ride white water rapids
• Sky dive
• Hot air balloon ride
• What physical attributes are my type in a man that immediately catches my eye and makes me weak in the knees?
• Medium height (5'10"), slim (140-170), dark hair, BEARDED, great butt, kind, masculine and intelligent
• Short (5'4" to 5'7"), blonde, freckled, smooth shaved, no visible hair on body, smart ass
• Nerd - any height, any weight (think Bill Gates and/or Mark Zuckerberg, bangs mandatory) 
• Red-neck, bearded, skinny, missing a few teeth, dumb ass who drives a pick-up truck
• My favorite snack is:
• Doritos Blazing Chips
• Orville Reddenbacher's Gourmet White Popcorn
• Pumpkin Seeds
• Zero candy bars
• I had fifteen uncles.  How many of them were gay?
• None
• Three
• Five
• One
• Which was my very first paying job?
• Five years old - ran errands to the local corner grocery store for relatives
• Ten years old - paperboy
• Nine years old - mowing grass for neighbors
• Fourteen years old - work in a meat market (real one, get your mind out of the gutter) on the weekends
• Which was my very first date with a member of the opposite sex?
• High school dance with my classmate Bonnie (and girl hockey player) who, at our 35th class reunion told me she was gay. No wonder there was no urge to "explore" on our first date
• Drive-In movie double date with my friend Larry (he drove).  Vivian and I sat in the back immersed in our.......popcorn.
• Carnival date with my neighbor and fellow classmate Mary Jane.  Her parents tried several subsequent efforts to "match" us.  Little did they know it was hopeless
• Sunnybrook Ballroom double date with my friend Larry (again).  The Glenn Miller Orchestra (led by Ray McKinley) was playing.  I'm not sure who my date was but she took the picture of me, Lar and his date. Says something that I remember the band but not the date.
• My astrological sign is:
• Aires
• Gemini
• Taurus
• Scorpio
• My basic personality is:
• Passive-Aggressive
• Passive
• Aggressive
• Introvert - afraid of my own shadow
• Occupation that I told my teachers I "wanted to be when I grew up" (which, technically really hasn't happened yet):
• Fireman
• Policeman
• Fashion Designer
• Welder
• Food (entree) that I hated (gagged me) when I was a little kid (and I had them all):
• Stuffed cabbage
• Macaroni and cheese
• Squirrel stew with dumplings
• Fried fish eggs 
• My natural born talent ( I do all well but one I can do unconscious):
• Writing
• Green thumb
• Organizing
• Cooking
• The first time I ate at a real restaurant and not a diner (I've eaten in many a diner)(these are all restaurants that I have eaten at):
• The Pub Restaurant, center city Philadelphia when I began working at Girard Bank - 1965
• The unnamed Washington DC gay bar/restaurant that Bill took me too - 1965
• Da Vinci's Italian Restaurant 17th and Walnut Streets, Philadelphia, PA that Bill took me too - 1965
• Another unnamed restaurant in Toronto, Canada that Bill took me too - 1965
• Which award did I NOT win?
• Best Typist in my high school graduating class - 1959
• Soldier of the Month, Fort George G. Meade, Maryland - 1962
• Hilton Hotels President's Award for Best Guest Service Representative - 2000
• Most Improved Shop Student (high school) - 1958
• Which is a standard American idiom phrase that I DO NOT USE?
• "I wouldn't know."
• "Really?"
• "Sez who?"
• "How about that?"
• The age that I knew I was "different" (gay):
• Twelve
• Fifteen
• Eighteen
• Four
• Favorite fruit:
• Apple
• Banana
• Peach
• Tom Cruise
• My first homoerotic movie star crush:
• Farley Granger
• Buster Crabbe (Flash Gordon)
• Kirk Alyn (Superman - movie serials)
• Guy Madison (Will Bill Hickok)
• The only movie actress that made me question (however momentarily) my sexuality:
• Joan Bennett
• Hedy Lamarr
• June Alyson
• Gloria DeHaven
• The comedian I never "got":
• Lenny Bruce
• W. C. Fields
• Charlie Chaplin
• George Carlin
• Favorite subject in school:
• History
• Math
• English
• Science
• Favorite household chore:
• Vacuuming
• Dusting
• Ironing
• Painting
• What trip would I like to take before I die?
• Visit Australia and New Zealand and pick up that accent
• Road trip through British Isles and take a million pictures
• Visit Spain and see bullfights
• Visit Rio De Janeiro and learn Portugese
• Second favorite place to retire:
• San Francisco, California
• Seattle, Washington
• Fort Lauderdale, Florida
• Asheville, North Carolina
• Best thing about getting old:
• Have enough money
• Wisdom and knowledge accumulated
• Don't have to work every day
• Things that I used to think were important, aren't anymore

And the winner is (TA TA!):

Slugmamma - 16

The following loyal "Retired in Delaware" blog followers came in close:

• Jon "Lone Star Concerto" - 16
• Sean R. - 15
• Nadege - 12
• Anne Marie of Philly "From My Brain To My Mouth" - 12
• Bob "I Should Be Laughing" - 11

Slugmamma doesn't want the first prize which is a stunning photo of me nude on the beach at Herring Cove, Provincetown, Mass taken back "in the day."  Good choice to forgo that "prize" Slug. But you do have my undying admiration for knowing me so well.  Thank you!

So here are some further explanations why some of the picks were wrong:

My "type" is a "medium, etc" but for some reason that skinny, missing teeth, wise ass redneck in a pickup truck always gets my attention both at the "top" (head) and "bottom" (easy to figure out).  I wish it wasn't so but it is.  I should be ashamed (Bill's calls them my "trash picks") but there it is.  Hormones folks, hormones.

I don't volunteer for anything except roadside pickup crews.  I've done it and I love it.  I'll leave the other volunteering up to others.  All good work.

Housesitting - 2005

One comedian I never "got" was Charlie Chaplin.  I always felt like he was being force fed down my throat with "He IS funny!"  No he's not.  In fact, every time I've seen him and that stupid strut, I get angry.  To be he "comedy" was one of the biggest scams ever perpetuated on the American and world.  My favorite all time comedian is and always will be W.C. Fields.  Now there was a master.

Favorite household chore?  I HATE painting.  HATE IT!  However, I love ironing.  Can't explain why, but ironing two dozen shirts is very soothing and zen like for me.  Vacuuming is all right but my back can't take too much of that activity these days.

My first homoerotic movie star crush?  I am embarrassed to admit it was that big queen Farley Granger.  Oh I remember the first time I saw him in a movie with Shelley Winters.  I think I was about ten years old.  I saw those lips and deep brown liquid eyes and fell in lust swoon immediately.  Then years later I saw him on a soap opera and realized he was nothing but a New York phony baloney queen.  Then he comes out with a "biography" which he blurs the line of his sexuality.  Oh give me a break.  And to think this man once took my breath away. Oh Ron, so young and so foolish.

Yep!  I was four years old when I knew I was "different".  Of course I didn't know what "gay" was at that time (1946) but I DID know I was "different."  I knew my age because it was before I started first grade at five years old.  And I've been "different" ever since.  I've never had any self doubts about my sexuality, unlike a lot of bloggers I see on the Internet who just "realized" they are gay after getting married and having a family.  How does that happen? No snark here, just stating a fact and my disbelief.

My friend Ed - also gay since birth

Everybody got the right answer on the one award I didn't get.  Want to know something folks? That is the one award I wanted so bad.  Of course I was a terrible shop student but I worked so hard to improve and I did.  When the time came to announce the winner at the high school assembly I was sure I would win. I can still feel the pang of intense disappointment when someone else's name was called out.  What made it even worse was that the person whose name was called out was an all right shop student both years!  That was the first time in my life that I realized that sometimes people win awards based on popularity and who they knew.  This kid was very popular, I wasn't.  His parents were on the school board, mine weren't.  Yep, this was my first experience with "Life isn't always fair."  However, I made up for it later in my life awards weren't based on popularity but results of hard work.  

Food that made me gag?  Oh my God!  Stuffed cabbage.  Funny thing, now I like it.  But oh how I hated it when I was growing up and my Mom used to force me to eat that garbage and that's just what it smelled like when she cooked it in her pressure cooker, Cook Garbage.  Apparently it was my Mom's recipe I didn't like because I've made stuffed cabbage when I got my own home and I like it.  Squirrel stew with dumplings?  Actually it wasn't bad except for the buckshot.  Don't want to crack a tooth biting down on one of those pellets.

What did I want to be when I grew up?  Oh yes, a fashion designer.  Of course everyone discouraged me but how I wanted to be the next Adrian who designed movie star gowns. I had my plans to go to art school after I graduated but those plans when to Hell in a hand basket after I joined the Army and my life took a whole different route.

Well, I've gone on a long time in this posting so I will wrap it up with the answer to the last question.  "Best thing about getting old?"  Folks, nothing bothers me any more, nothing.  I wish I could say I could get worked up over the usual subjects but I just can't.  Maybe it has to do with my prostate cancer diagnosis or maybe it has to do with knowing that I don't have decades of life left to me.  All I know is that I feel a rather pleasant sense of freedom knowing that I just don't care.  Not that I DON'T CARE, but you understand what I'm saying.  Someone doesn't like me or slights me?  So what?  I really can't get up the energy to get upset.  Even the issues of the day like politics.  I used to really get worked up over the constant negativity.  I DON'T CARE.  Probably a terrible thing to say, but I JUST DON'T CARE.

That's not to say I don't care about anything. I care about having enough money to stay in my home and continue to enjoy my reasonably comfortable life.  I care enough to continue to have friends both personal and on the Internet.  I care enough to want my good health to continue.  But you know what?  If I lost a friend tomorrow, so what?  If my health goes tomorrow, so what?  I've lived a long and good life and have a lot to be thankful for.  Now if I lose the security of my home and way of living, now that's another whole subject.  Maybe I do care about some things.  I care about friends who want to be friends with me.

Me with my friend Renee - FFB - 2005

Well, as Pork Pig used to say at the end of all those Warner Brother's cartoons:

"That's All Folks!"  

How Well Do You Know Ron?

My closet in our Pennsylvania house

Time for a "fun" blog posting.  It has been awhile since I posted a quiz/test blog so for all of you who like this kind of whimsy, here is your challenge today:  

I am posing four questions, all with truthful answers (non made up).  Choose the answer which you think best suits my personality.  The first place winner will receive an autographed picture of me sprawled nude on a beach in Provincetown, Mass (taken when I was much younger and still had an intact bod).  Second place will receive a one way plane ticket to Midland, Texas to visit the new George W. Bush Library.  

Ready?  Fasten your seat belts and suspend your belief because here we go with the "I can't believe this crap" life of Ron:

• Which Good Samaritan activity would I volunteer for?
• Soup kitchen
• Habitat for Humanity house building
• Roadside litter pickup crew
• Big brother to a fatherless little boy
• What stupid daredevil stunt (that I haven't done already) would I do if given the opportunity?
• Bungee jump
• Ride white water rapids
• Sky dive
• Hot air balloon ride
• What physical attributes are my type in a man that immediately catches my eye and makes me weak in the knees?
• Medium height (5'10"), slim (140-170), dark hair, BEARDED, great butt, kind, masculine and intelligent
• Short (5'4" to 5'7"), blonde, freckled, smooth shaved, no visible hair on body, smart ass
• Nerd - any height, any weight (think Bill Gates and/or Mark Zuckerberg, bangs mandatory) 
• Red-neck, bearded, skinny, missing a few teeth, dumb ass who drives a pick-up truck
• My favorite snack is:
• Doritos Blazing Chips
• Orville Reddenbacher's Gourmet White Popcorn
• Pumpkin Seeds
• Zero candy bars
• I had fifteen uncles.  How many of them were gay?
• None
• Three
• Five
• One
• Which was my very first paying job?
• Five years old - ran errands to the local corner grocery store for relatives
• Ten years old - paperboy
• Nine years old - mowing grass for neighbors
• Fourteen years old - work in a meat market (real one, get your mind out of the gutter) on the weekends
• Which was my very first date with a member of the opposite sex?
• High school dance with my classmate Bonnie (and girl hockey player) who, at our 35th class reunion told me she was gay. No wonder there was no urge to "explore" on our first date
• Drive-In movie double date with my friend Larry (he drove).  Vivian and I sat in the back immersed in our.......popcorn.
• Carnival date with my neighbor and fellow classmate Mary Jane.  Her parents tried several subsequent efforts to "match" us.  Little did they know it was hopeless
• Sunnybrook Ballroom double date with my friend Larry (again).  The Glenn Miller Orchestra (led by Ray McKinley) was playing.  I'm not sure who my date was but she took the picture of me, Lar and his date. Says something that I remember the band but not the date.
• My astrological sign is:
• Aires
• Gemini
• Taurus
• Scorpio
• My basic personality is:
• Passive-Aggressive
• Passive
• Aggressive
• Introvert - afraid of my own shadow
• Occupation that I told my teachers I "wanted to be when I grew up" (which, technically really hasn't happened yet):
• Fireman
• Policeman
• Fashion Designer
• Welder
• Food (entree) that I hated (gagged me) when I was a little kid (and I had them all):
• Stuffed cabbage
• Macaroni and cheese
• Squirrel stew with dumplings
• Fried fish eggs 
• My natural born talent ( I do all well but one I can do unconscious):
• Writing
• Green thumb
• Organizing
• Cooking
• The first time I ate at a real restaurant and not a diner (I've eaten in many a diner)(these are all restaurants that I have eaten at):
• The Pub Restaurant, center city Philadelphia when I began working at Girard Bank - 1965
• The unnamed Washington DC gay bar/restaurant that Bill took me too - 1965
• Da Vinci's Italian Restaurant 17th and Walnut Streets, Philadelphia, PA that Bill took me too - 1965
• Another unnamed restaurant in Toronto, Canada that Bill took me too - 1965
• Which award did I NOT win?
• Best Typist in my high school graduating class - 1959
• Soldier of the Month, Fort George G. Meade, Maryland - 1962
• Hilton Hotels President's Award for Best Guest Service Representative - 2000
• Most Improved Shop Student (high school) - 1958
• Which is a standard American idiom phrase that I DO NOT USE?
• "I wouldn't know."
• "Really?"
• "Sez who?"
• "How about that?"
• The age that I knew I was "different" (gay):
• Twelve
• Fifteen
• Eighteen
• Four
• Favorite fruit:
• Apple
• Banana
• Peach
• Tom Cruise
• My first homoerotic movie star crush:
• Farley Granger
• Buster Crabbe (Flash Gordon)
• Kirk Alyn (Superman - movie serials)
• Guy Madison (Will Bill Hickok)
• The only movie actress that made me question (however momentarily) my sexuality:
• Joan Bennett
• Hedy Lamarr
• June Alyson
• Gloria DeHaven
• The comedian I never "got":
• Lenny Bruce
• W. C. Fields
• Charlie Chaplin
• George Carlin
• Favorite subject in school:
• History
• Math
• English
• Science
• Favorite household chore:
• Vacuuming
• Dusting
• Ironing
• Painting
• What trip would I like to take before I die?
• Visit Australia and New Zealand and pick up that accent
• Road trip through British Isles and take a million pictures
• Visit Spain and see bullfights
• Visit Rio De Janeiro and learn Portugese
• Second favorite place to retire:
• San Francisco, California
• Seattle, Washington
• Fort Lauderdale, Florida
• Asheville, North Carolina
• Best thing about getting old:
• Have enough money
• Wisdom and knowledge accumulated
• Don't have to work every day
• Things that I used to think were important, aren't anymore

So this is my list of twenty-five questions about me and my personality.  Remember, no two of us are alike and there is certainly no one like me.  When I was younger I used to think I was really screwed up but the older I get I have realized that I'm no more screwed up than anyone else and, in fact, I have more of my crap together than many.  And folks, that really makes me feel good.

Have a great day~

Me faking changing a tire on Skyline Drive - 1965 - me an Bill's first Road Trip