No Good Deed Goes Unpunished

 

What happens when you try to comfort your neighbor's cat when they've been on vacation for two weeks. That is one pissed off cat.

My neighbors gifted their daughter who graduated this year with a two week trip to Italy and Greece. 

They are scheduled to return tomorrow (I hope).

They asked me to check in on their cat. He's a spicy, overweight, neutered male cat. He doesn't like me.

One angry cat - right before The Clawing. He'll never get another chance to take a swipe at me.....ever

Of course you're probably asking "How is that possible? You LOVE cats?" Well, I don't have an answer for that except to say perhaps he's spoiled. His favorite people are her other daughter and the lady of the house. Both very nice. The husband has a golden retriever. I've watched their pets before. Their previous dog was never a problem. You know golden retrievers, they like everybody. This cat, yes he gave me a huge scratch on my right arm once before when I attempted to pet him. One would think I learned my lesson. Oh no, not me. 

I know he misses his mama and the daughter. This is the last day of their trip. I tried to comfort him but he wasn't having it. Right as I extended my right hand to pat him on his head, he gave me a major swat, resulting in FIVE claw punctuations on my right hand. And me, being right handed, I need that right hand. Especially when I'm cleaning the algae muck out of my fish pond filter every other day. In addition to using my right hand here to type and wash dishes and garden and etc, etc. Not to mention those claw indentations in my hand HURT. 

I think I have learned my lesson. Oh sure, when they vacation again I'll agree to check in on The Cat to make sure he has enough water but no more Mr. Nice Guy. I keep my distance from now on. I need my right hand. And no amount of trying to comfort this feline, who doesn't appreciate it anyway, is worth taking the risk of getting clawed again. Funny thing this, in all my eight-four years I've never been clawed like this by any cat. Just another reason why I'll never have another pet in my lifetime. And Bill was right, when I wanted to get a cat when we lived in Philly, he was totally against it. He said if you want to get a pet, get a Pomeranian dog. They're small like cats but much more human friendly. He was right.

Now how am I going to handle that fresh corn on the cob tonight with my compromised right hand? 

Just another challenge to overcome.

I Treated Myself Today With A Visit To Millsboro, DE

 Bill and I used to enjoy our trips to B.J.'s Wholesale in Millsboro. 

I remember the last time I took the trip with him, I knew it would be our last trip. 

Bill enjoyed those trips because he got to spend more one on one time with me. It's a long trip to Millsboro. Takes about forty-five minutes each way. It's also a pleasant trip through the Sussex Country countryside. 

When I go to B.J.'s I always stop in the nearby Petsmart store. I like to see what cats are up for adoption. Oh how I would like to adopt one (or two) but it is not to be. I'm too old to adopt a pet. For one reason I can hardly take care of myself let alone a pet. And I need my sleep and I would get much sleep with a cat. I already tried that and it didn't work. I had a cat for one and a half weeks, and although we bonded, I had to give her up mainly because I was afraid Bill or I would trip over her and I couldn't afford to let that happen. At the beginning of this blog is my latest visit. If I won the Power Ball I would open a cat sanctuary. I love cats. Even if I got a cat, I live alone and I fully expect another visit to the hospital is in my future. So I just make do with visits to Petsmart.

I knew the traffic would be heavy today but it was heavier than I had expected. I do not like to travel in heavy traffic but southern Delaware has grown so much in the past ten years, this is becoming the norm.

This is what I got at B.J.'s today. Super expensive Panera soup ($15.96) but good. I did get $2.00 off. Just a year or so ago I was able to buy Panera soup for $8.00. They have doubled in price.

Tide powder soap. That's gotten more expensive now too, $32 for the box. Remember, B.J.'s is wholesale. Wow. 

Also some strawberries. I was going to get peaches but they are off the chart expensive and it's always a roll of the dice to actually have them ripen. Usually they're mealy and not juicy at all. They look like peaches but they're Frankenstein Fruit. Just like those tomatoes you buy in the winter. They look like tomatoes but they have zero taste. 

I found those Portuguese rolls! I love Portuguese rolls and they are reasonable. Only $4 .99 for ten rolls! Much cheaper than rolls that I buy at Food Lion or Weiss Markets and they have that unique Portuguese taste that I love. I never did like Wonder bread, even as a kid. Tasted like nothing. You're chewing air. But I love Portuguese rolls which I discovered in the Seventies during my many trips to Provincetown, Mass. which has a large Portuguese immigrant population. 

Another plus I found that pumpkin roll. I like to have a treat before I go to bed and I find this annual fall treat pumpkin roll hits the spot perfectly. At this time of my life I don't even like the cakes I make myself. I've lost the taste for many things I used to love. I also like that bag of mildly (some say "plain") seasoned frozen chicken. I'm not into cooking much these days but I do like to eat good food but not overly spiced and especially the one with all that garlic powder. I like garlic but garlic powder makes me sick. 

And last but not least, I got a tub of hummus. That's always a bargain at B.J.'s. The regular stores charge $5 for a small container of hummus. I can get this party size container for $5. I eat hummus every day. I love hummus. My digestive system loves hummus too.

Just that little shopping cart cost me $98. And this at a wholesale store! 

Figure it out folks, I'm living on a fixed income now. The prices keep going up. I'm starting to feel the squeeze. And here I thought the Orange Menace was going to bring the prices down. Of course I am being facetious (flippant). 

Other than the bumper to bumper traffic, today's trip was well worth it. But I do miss Bill riding shotgun. We used to have many such trips together. However, I still sense that he was with me today. In spirit.

Visitors did not expect such a WARM WELCOME FROM the LION!

I like cats but I think I would pass on this one. Yeah, I know, I'm just a big pussy.

What Makes the Best Pet? Cats or Dogs?

Me and "Bobby" - 1953

While perusing my photos this morning I came across the banner photo I took of my late friend Dick Thomas's feral cats.

Dick Thomas and Ron Tipton - 1986 (30 years ago!)

I took this photo about thirty years ago at my friend Dick Thomas's country home in Pennsylvania.  Dick hired me at Girard Bank in 1965.  I didn't know him before he hired me.  We became friends during my twenty-one year employment at Girard. 

Dick lived in the city but had a "country place" in Chester Country near several big farms.

He used to feed feral cats that gathered at his place.  This was a picture I took of some of those feral cats.  Dick died some years ago, I wonder what ever became of those thirty or so feral cats. 

Dick's feral cats waiting for their meal

I love cats.  Bill doesn't.  That's why we don't have cats.  I had a cat once when I was a teenager.  I've written about him before. He was a gray tabby cat that took up with our family when we lived next to a manufacturing plant.

"Bobby" - my first pet - 1954

I loved that cat.  He was my first pet.  I named him "Bobby" after an upperclassman I had a crush on at that time of my life.  

I had Bobby for a few years.  One day I came home from school and no Bobby.  I asked my Mother "Did you see Bobby?"  She said "Oh, Pop (which is what we all called my father) took him to the SPCA because he was marking the front door."  

So that was the explanation for what happened to my loved pet.  My father took him to the SPCA.  No "Father Knows Best Moment" where he sits down and consults with me. No maybe betting Bobby fixed so he wouldn't mark the front door.  Just take him to the SPCA where he was probably put down.  

Regular readers of my blog know that I've written about this episode in previous posts but you know me, when I start writing my blog I just go with the flow and this hurtful episode just burbled up again. 

So of course I always wanted to get a cat again.When I moved in with Bill I suggested that we get a cat for a pet.  Guess what? Bill hates cats.  He told me when he was a kid he used to tie tin cans to cats' tails for "fun."  Oh yes, that was Bill when he was a kid. 

I pushed for a cat but Bill was adamantly against it.  He suggested a compromise.  He said "Let's get a Pomeranian dog.  They're about the same size as cats.  So that's what we got.  

Me posing for a Christmas card photo with our three Poms - 1986

Guess what?  I LOVED those dogs!  We had a total of five Pomeranians.  Two when we lived in center city Philadelphia.  Then three more when we moved out of Philly and moved to the country.  

My "fan" club

However, at this time of our life we have no pets.  Bill doesn't even want to have Poms.  He can't take the loss any more.  So here is my dilemma.  If I outlive Bill, I plan to get a pet or pets.  What to get?  Cats or dogs?  

Any suggestions?

Me with Babydoll and Horace (the father of Babydoll) - 1989

Dawn - My Cat Whisperer Niece

My niece Dawn and two very lucky kittens

Dawn is my first and oldest niece.  She is the daughter of my brother Isaac.  Dawn rescues kittens. 

My brothers John (left), me and Isaac (right) and my niece Dawn with her daughter Kandace - December 1987

She probably wouldn't like me writing about here like this so that's why I'm to using her last name.  Dawn is selfless, she goes about her life's mission of rescuing these poor kittens that area abandoned and sick.  She nurses them back to health and finds homes for them.  No, she isn't one of their weird Cat Ladies.

Dawn with her sister Karen - my birthday 1974 - one of the best pictures I ever took - 40 years ago!

I am very proud of Dawn and her caring nature.  In addition to her full time activity of rescuing and bringing back to health abandoned kittens, she also has her own child care business which she runs out of her home.  

From Dawn's Facebook page- she's always looking for new homes for her kittens and she finds them!

So where did Dawn inherit this gene for rescuing kittens?  Well, maybe her dad (Isaac) ha something to do with it.  Below is a picture I took of my brothers who found some kittens forty years ago in a manufacturing plant where our father used to work.  One of those cats grew up to be "Bobby", my first and only pet cat.  I would love to have one now but you know that story, Bill hates cats.  But maybe one day.

My brothers John and Isaac with abandoned kittens they found in a manufacturing plan we lived near - 1953

Me and "Bobby" - 1954

The last couple of nights at the hotel I had to deal with some very difficult people. The election results of a few weeks ago have ushered into power a group of people who are not interested in you or me but only their corporate owners and for the next two years they will do everything in their power to make life more difficult for us common folks who work for a living.  It is at times like this that I look at people, people like my niece who do good.  

Dawn with her brother (Isaac, III) and sister (Karen) December 10, 1977

I was tempted to write a blog posting this morning bitching about these recent developments but I said "No Ron, try to think of something positive and write about that.  If you write about more negativity you're only going to sink lower."  So folks, here is my "puff piece" today.  Granted, Dawn is my niece but she is one of the Good People in this country and this world.  God bless them.  Without people like her what hope is there for the rest of us?

Dawn with her son (Chase) and daughter (Kandace) 2007

Now there, did I leave you smiling after reading this blog post about my wonderful niece Dawn?  

Cat Savers

Me and Bobby in front of our old Philco TV - 1953

I love cats. Unfortunately, my husband does not.  So all these years of marital bliss, we never once had a cat occupy our home.  

The only cat as a pet I ever had was a gray tiger stripped tomcat named "Bobby."  I was around twelve years old when Bobby came into my life.  He was a kitten my father found in the plant where he worked building trailers.

My brother John hugging MY cat, Bobby, Christmas Day 1953 - Bobby tolerated others' attention but he was MY cat - I knew it and he knew it

He was named after my first boyhood, homoerotic crush, Bobby Murdaugh.  If you're out there Bobby Murdaugh speak up now or forever hold your silence.

My brother Isaac and Bobby - as you can see Bobby is just tolerating being held by Isaac

I had Bobby for a few years until one day when I came home from school and there was no Bobby.  I asked my Mother if she had seen Bobby.  She said oh so matter of factly, "Oh, your Father turned him into the ASPCA.  He was peeing on the door."  Uh, oh . . . . okay . . . . I guess.  You see, my father at time could be a very cruel and cold man.  This was one of those times.  No father-son talk before he 

Bobby in my linoleum floored bedroom - he was my buddy

unceremoniously took my first and only pet away from me to his certain doom.  No "I'm sorry son, it had to be done."  Nope, just returning home one day and No More Bobby.  That was Pop.  Over the years I came to realize that whenever we had a pet that didn't have my father as the focus of his or her ultimate fealty, that pet was gone.  He did the same thing with one of my Mother's favorite black cats. 

Since that time I haven't had a pet.  When Bill and I got together fifty years ago one of my first suggestions was that we get a cat as a pet.  Bill wouldn't have it.  Bill grew up torturing cats.  When he was a teenager he thought there was nothing funnier than tying a tin can on a cat's tail and watch the cat run away in a panic.  That was the worst of the "torture" he would tell me anyway.  So having a cat was out of the picture for our domestic relationship.  We got a dog (Pomeranian) instead.  Bill said "They were just like cats."  Well, actually they aren't but we did have a succession of very loved Pomeranian dogs (five altogether) until Bill put a stop to that after the last one died in 1998.  He grew so attached to our dogs that he couldn't bear another loss.  So from 1998 to the present, Casa Tipton-Kelly has been pet less.

I still love cats.  These days I get my cat fix by reading my friend's and relatives who rescue cats.  My blogger friend Jon in Texas takes care of a dozen or so cats his Cat Lady neighbor oh so ungraciously dumped on him.  Bless you Jon.

Scruff (the newest addition to Jon's household) and his Resident Cat Scratch

My lifetime friend Larry and his family rescue cats (his wife and daughter both work at a local ASPCA) who are otherwise unadoptable.  Bless you Larry and your family.

Larry and Kerouac, one of his dozen or so "house cats". Kerouac was a malnourished kitten, near death,  when rescued by Larry son Darryl.

Then there is my blogger friend Ray of Raybeard.  Ray lives in England and takes care of the cats in his neighborhood.  Bless you Ray.

Ray's cats - comfortable and secure in Ray's home in England (I wonder if they meow with an English accent?)

I have been following my niece's Facebook postings (she is my brother Isaac's daughter) of her ongoing cat rescues.  I am in awe of these folks who are so unselfish that they put no limited on their time or finances to care for some of our unfortunate feline friends.  And it is not without noting than none of my friends are that financially well off to take care of these cats but they find a way.  

Recently my niece Dawn has been posting about "Atlas", a kitten she found near death.  Dawn is determined to bring this cat back to health and a happy life.  Folks, there are two kinds of people in this world.  People who care about critters like cats and those who don't.  I am proud to say some of my friends are those who care.

Whenever I get down and morose, I think of my generous, unselfish and altruistic friends who have devoted their lives to make the lives of a few more domestic felines better.  Bless all of you.

Friends - A Bad Week

Me waiting at Dover Subaru yesterday for my Forester oil change

Hi folks.  I had several ideas for unique and interesting postings but I'm just not up to it after events of the past week and the one BIG upcoming event of Monday, undergoing a prostate biopsy procedure.  I've written about this before and won't go into it again here but it is one my mind and affecting my mood and enthusiasm.  I was supposed to get this procedure last year but changed my mind but have decided to do it this year just to rule out any possibility that I have prostate cancer.

So here are some of my random thoughts are things bothering me right now.  

My cousin Jana - I doubt if I'm violating her privacy by posting this picture of her with her cat

Notice that the picture of the cat I had at the top of this blog is now gone.  That's because it was a picture I took of a former friend's cat.  He sent me an e-mail stating that I post "everything online."  Well actually, I don't post "everything online" but he did say I was violating his privacy by posting a picture of his cat. He has a every right to do that so I took the photo down and replaced it with my dog Horace the day we got him as a puppy in 1982.  Bill is holding him in his lap.  I can post this photo because Bill doesn't think I'm "violating his privacy."  Notice that I mention "former friend." I know where his attitude is coming from.  It's coming from another former friend who was ended our friendship because he took offense to something I said on one of my previous blog posts.  I think it was something about me not giving advice in the future when asked for it because my advice is rarely if ever taken.  He took offense and sent me an e-mail saying "Sorry I wasted your time....bye."  Sort of a flimsy excuse to end a friendship don't you think?  I did too.

Me with my friend Bob's cat - I don't I'm violating his privacy by posting this picture of his cat 

I sent an e-mail back to my former friend and told him I removed the picture that so violating his privacy.  I also told him to stop reading my blogs if he is so offended.  I also suggested to him to tell my other former friend (who is a friend of his) to stop reading my blog if it so offends him.  What is it with these people?  

My friend Larry with his cat - have I violated your privacy Larry?

So you see folks.  It's been a bad week. Someone I liked a lot stood me up for a lunch date that he requested, thus giving me the reality check that apparently my friendship wasn't as important to him as his was to mine.  A couple of other guys I thought were friends are offended by what I post to my blog.  I'm not in a good place this week.  

My brother Isaac and "Bobby", my one and only cat - 1954 - I didn't ask Isaac's permission to post this photo but the cat was mine so I guess it's okay to post this picture

I have a couple of relatives on my Facebook page who are Righties and testing my patience with their gun-toting, Hate Obama postings into unfriending them.  Then to top everything off some douche bag hijacked my Twitter account and sent spam to all my Twitter followers.  

I think part of why I don't feel well now is that I had to take stop taking aspirin a couple of weeks ago prior to this biopsy.  I am on a baby aspirin regimen because I almost constantly have a dull, throbbing headache.  This week has been especially bad.

My Mom with her "bedwarmer" (Molly) - Mom never minded me posting photos of her cats and I never knew anybody more private than my Mom - go figure

Some people have asked me "What is the secret to your long relationship with Bill?"  You know what it is folks?  The answer is very easy.  Bill respects me.  Bill likes me, warts and all.  Bill likes me as I am.  He's not a hateful, spiteful, controlling, jealous, and selfish person.  He thinks I'm important.  And I feel the same way about him.  Everyday I count my blessings that I found someone like Bill because I would hate to think of what my life would have been like with some of the so-called "friends" I've had in my life.  I have acquaintances, not friends.  I had better realize that then I won't get my feelings hurt the next time my friendship is taken for granted.  I admit it, I'm too sensitive.  I go overboard.  I will try to correct that weakness in the future.  

I do have a few good friends (not counting my blogger friends who are in a different category).  Ironically they are friends from my high school days and from my former life at Girard Bank.  They know who they are (all four of them - yes, I can count them on one hand). They know me.  They accept me just the way I am.  They do not try to control me.  They like me.  I know them and like them.  They also are not perfect like I am but I accept them as they are.  I have tried to accept my newer "friends" they way they are but without much success.

Ironically the friend who stood me up to lunch asked for the date because he wanted to know how our (me and Bill) "open" relationship worked.  It's simple, when Bill asked me to move in with him back in 1964 I turned him down.  I told him "I'm still going to go out and I don't want anyone controlling me."  He said he understood and would never try to limit or control a "22 year old".  He said that was the fastest way to end a relationship. He was right, that is the fastest way to end a relationship with me, start dictating to me how to live my life.  Doesn't work with me folks.  Maybe it works with someone else and maybe they even prefer to live that way but I would never accept a relationship where someone controlled my life.  Nor do I control Bill's life.  We come and go as we please.  This is what works for us.  And it's not all about sex either.  When some hear the word "open relationship" they think we're out there swinging from the chandeliers.  I wish.  No friends, what "open relationship" means to us is that one doesn't control the other.  Yes, I can have friends outside our relationship.  I can even have romantic friends.  So what?  None of them ever lasted nor did I expect them too.  The initial physical attraction always wears off then it's the character of the person and in all my years I have yet to find anyone to match Bill's love for me.  And I have never loved anyone like Bill.  No matter what we will always be together because he understands me and I understand him.  

So this time next week I hope I'm in a better frame of mind.  Had to purge today though.  Bad week.  

Me at the dentist earlier this week.  That went well - no cavities!

Thanksgiving 2012

Me (with the hoagie), my Mom and my brother Isaac - 1954

This Thanksgiving is almost over but for the shopping.  Looking out from the back of my house I can see the stream of headlights of shoppers headed down Route 1 to the Rehoboth Outlet Malls and WalMart, which are open tonight.  Are you kidding?  I wish I was but I'm not.  You won't see me there.

Bill and I spent a quiet Thanksgiving here at home.  That's the way we usually pass the holiday.  A long time ago I used to get caught up in the tradition of making a big Thanksgiving dinner but since Bill and I don't eat that much, most of the food goes to waste.  It's not that I don't enjoy Thanksgiving, I do.  But I just can't get up the enthusiasm and energy to go through all of THAT for Thanksgiving.

Places set  for Thanksgiving Guests - 2006

For many years my longtime friend Bob had all us single (and married) gay men over to his house for a traditional Thanksgiving Dinner.  That was very nice of him and his partner Jim.  Very popular too.  Usually there were at least a couple dozen attendees at the Gay Single Man's Annual Thanksgiving Dinner.

Two-turkey Thanksgiving Dinner - 2006

The last time I went was 2006 when these pictures were taken.  Since then I've either had to work at the hotel (I didn't this year) or was a guest at my friend Bill B's house in Pennsylvania.  

That's me on the bottom with the baboon expression on my face (what was I thinking?)

I don't remember the last time I cooked a Thanksgiving meal just for me and Bill at home.  probably back when we lived in Pennsauken, New Jersey and that was in the early Sixties. For many years we ate at my Mother's.

Ham and conversation among old friends was also served at the Children's Table

And I think that is the answer why I really don't "do" Thanksgiving anymore, reminds me too much of my Mother. Mom died in 2010.  She had stopped making Thanksgiving dinners about four years before she died, when her mental capacities declined.  My friends Jim and Bob no longer do Thanksgiving dinners.  Without going into a lot of detail and protecting their privacy, they also have mental issues.  They can't handle it.  They can hardly handle their own lives which is a drama I am dealing with now.  

Hang on the good times guys, never know when it's going away - 2006

So folks, feeling just a little melancholy today. Not too bad but just a tinge of sadness.  

Not to veer too far off the subject.  Remember my "leg issue" of yesterday?  I hardly got any sleep last night, the pain was that excruciating.  Not as bad as passing a kidney stone but still the kind of pain that just wouldn't go away.  There was no position I could get in to alleviate the pain.  God, it was awful.  I finally fell asleep a few time but woke up early twisted and bent in pain.

I hobbled out to Bill (who always gets up at 4 am) with my cane.  He urged me to take a stronger pain killer.  Reluctantly I took one of his Excedrin Migrane pills, the ones they had off the market for a while because they wreck havoc with your stomach and invalidate your liver if you get hooked on them.  Well guess what folks?  It worked.  I've been pain free all day.  Stiff but pain-free.  Sort of like a Mitt Romney.  

Those pain pills only last twelve hours so I'll take one before I drift off to dreamland tonight.  I'm not going into work tomorrow or Saturday night, I have to take it easy on my leg, give it time to heal.  I think I'll be able to go into work on Sunday night though, albeit with my new "buddy", The Cane.  HERE COMES THE OLD MAN. 

I'm starting to ramble here folks so bear with me. As I said before, today was a beautiful, fall, crisp day here in southern Delaware.  A perfect day to get a head start on those Christmas decorations.  I didn't feel that either today folks.  I doubt if I will.  Christmas wasn't a big deal in our home so I don't get as sad about missing my Mother during that holiday as I do Thanksgiving.  I think why Thanksgiving always holds a special place in my heart was that was the first time I introduced My Bill to my parents after a year of two of estrangement with them after I came out.  Of course they loved Bill once they met him.  There were even times I suspected they liked Bill more than me. 

In closing (finally), I hope everyone who reads this blog had a wonderful Thanksgiving with their friends, family and loved ones including their faithful "kids", the critters (dogs and cats).  

Mom with her "friend" Rusty - a feral cat who got lucky

A Mouse In The House

If it's fall it's time for "the mouse in the house."  Yep, one day last week Bill spotted one of the little, gray furry creatures scurrying along the shelf in our garage.  Here we go again.  Set a mouse trap or put out a Have a Heart trap?

I don't like to kill any living creature but I also don't want a mouse infestation in our garage or house.  If we had a cat we wouldn't have a mouse problem.

Alas, Bill doesn't like cats.  Of course the downside with cats is once they catch a mouse they like to play "cat and mouse" with the poor terrified creature.  Someone like Dick Cheney would love the torture of a captive creature but not me.  Then there is the unpleasant sight of walking out in the garage and seeing a squashed mouse in the mousetrap.  Sometimes the squashed mouse isn't even dead!

Bill and I usually trap the unwanted vermin with one of those have-a-heart traps and then release them out into the woods, far away from our abode.  Sometimes that doesn't work because the persistent rodents will find their way back to our warm environs.

Yesterday I bought on of those have-a-heart traps at the Ace Hardware in Milton.  We (Bill) put it out last night.  This morning, sure as the sun rises, there were TWO occupants of our new have-a-heart traps, sniffing around inside the metal enclosure amidst their very own mouse droppings.  Ugh.

Bill took the unwanted house guests out to the end of the lane behind our backyard where there is a clumps of trees on a former home site now long overgrown.

A lot of trouble wouldn't you say?  I would rather have one of those big orange cats to take care of this annual problem.

"Rusty" - my Mom's fearsome mouse (and chipmunk) collector