Memories of Bill - 2015

Apple has a nice feature on my iMac. It's called Memory. It randomly selects photos and videos I've taken and chooses a theme and presents these compilations to me occasionally. A few days ago they presented to me several Memory videos of the years I was taking Bill to his various doctors' appointments and caring for him. The years range from 2015 to 2019 with the exception of the year 2017 which I wasn't able to transfer over other my You Tube account. Occasionally I will be posting these Memory compilation videos to this blog in memory of Bill. 

I don't think there is a day that has gone by since Bill died early Saturday morning February 22, 2024 that I haven't thought of him and missed him terribly. The initial shock of grief has lessened somewhat overtime but I know now this grief over not having Bill in your life will never leave me as long as I am alive on this earth in this lifetime. By posting these videos I honor and keep his memory alive.  

Twelve Years Ago today June 2014

 

Twelve years ago today, my late husband Bill Kelly visited our nearby town of Milton, Delaware.

This video popped up on my feed this morning and I want to share it with you.

I am so thankful that I have these video memories of my special time with Bill, fifty-nine and half years. We almost made it to sixty until he died two and a half years ago in February of 2014.

There is not a day that goes by that I don't think and miss Bill terribly. I was truly blessed to have him in my life. Without him in my life I'm only a half person that I was. Oh for sure, I love Pat but with Bill, he was and is my soulmate.

The day will come when we are rejoined together for eternity in Heaven. I look forward to that day.

Summer Season Has Arrived!

 

The summer season is on full bloom!

Last weekend was Memorial Day Weekend, traditionally the start of the summer season. However, last weekend was a washout. It rained every day. Didn't bother me because I don't go down to the boardwalk in Rehoboth Beach and I certainly wouldn't go down on the start of the summer season. I stopped doing that years ago. It just wasn't worth the hassle of people, traffic and parking. The only exception I make is when Pat comes down. I let him do the driving. He likes all that activity and of course I like being with Pat. I enjoy life and all the activities so much more when I'm with Pat. Bill was like me, a stay at home. I'm sort of in the middle. I like activity but not by myself. I did that for many years when I was with Bill. 

Pat will be here next week (Sunday). After a day's rest (he drives down), we'll take on the Summer Season at the Nation's Summer Resort. 

Note: 

I've decided to approve any comments on get on this blog. There is a troll who takes delight in leaving hateful comments. She knows who she is and I do too. My apologies if I inconvenience anyone else who has been following my blog. Shouldn't make too much difference anyway because I don't receive that many comments. Those I do I appreciate and value.

Interesting Things Happening Lately

 

Me and Bill June 9th, 2013

Something strange has been happening lately. 

For the past two nights Bill hasn't visited via that burned out Christmas light. There have been occasions in the past two and a half years since he died that that light has went out. Funny thing though, one of the other lights occasionally flashes on big then goes out. Now that has me thinking, "is someone else trying to contact me?" 

Well, I wouldn't blame anyone for thinking maybe I'm going Looney Tunes here at Casa Tipton-Kelly. 

There are some other strange things happening too. About nine-thirty at night I'm exhausted. So exhausted I can't even stay up and watch the opening of Lawrence O'Donnell's show "The Last Word." And when I say exhausted I mean I feel like I just ran a 26 mile marathon. 

Maybe my prostate cancer is really taking off. It's hard to tell because I'm always in pain from my arthritis. Especially my lower back. My legs feel like wooden tree trunks. I can hardly move them by the end of the day.

Interesting thing though, when I get up in the morning, even though my whole body is stiff and aching with arthritic pain, I have a lot more energy. That's when I do my walk and any activity outside like working on my pond. I love working on my pond. Seeing my gaggle of goldfish, most of whom were born in that pond, swimming around happily. There is even a big bullfrog that has taken up residence. Makes you wonder, where did he come from? I had the same situation at our place in Pennsylvania, build a pond and the frogs will show up. That reminds me, when I was doing my mile walk this morning in the Oyster Rocks development, the one behind me (I went there to get new scenery), I came across a baby turtle the size of a nickel. Of course I rescued it and carried it to the water retention basin at the end of my development. Good deed for the day Ron.

Some other interesting things is that I'm losing a lot of interest in the current news. Oh sure, it's all fucked up with Trump and his lackeys and criminal cohorts but I'm finding I just don't care. This is what the majority of Americans voted for? Go for it stupids. Too stupid to even know when they're being hoodwinked by a liar and a con artist. I'm moving on from that mess. Maybe it will straighten itself out, maybe not. I just don't have the energy to care anymore. Still, it surprises me how may feckless cowards there are in Congress, the media and big business. They're all in it together. I guess I always knew that.

Well, I hope that absence of the Christmas light not coming on doesn't mean I won't see Bill in the Afterlife. Even after two and a half years I still miss him every day. I never knew anything could hit me this hard but it has. I just learn to live with it until I can be together with him in Heaven. I'm pretty sure that will happen, probably sooner than I think.

Bill Is Still With Me

 

Bill comes by almost every night via his favorite method, that burned out Christmas light which is in my direct line of eyesight when I'm in my kitchen.

Before Bill died, we often had the discussion, that if there was an afterlife, that he would try  and contact me to let me know. 

We didn't know how he would contact me but by the way of the Christmas lights made sense. First, Bill loved those Christmas lights which we kept up year round since his lost his eyesight through macular degeneration. He only had peripheral vision and, even though he couldn't make eye contact with me he could see my shadow and also the colors of the Christmas lights that I had strung up around our sun room, where he spent most of his day, and our living room. 

Bill's first appearance with that blinking Christmas light was about three days after he died. In the two years since he often comes by for a couple weeks at a time then he's gone. I always feel lonely when that light is off but when he comes back I feel his presence again and also by mental telepathy in which he often says "I'm always with you." 

Yes folks, there is an afterlife. I have proof. 

Snowmageddon 2026

 

Well, I'll always remember the second anniversary of Bill's passing. We had a blizzard last night.

Thanks Bill!

I woke up this morning to nineteen inches of snow. 

Snow is very unusual here in southern coastal Delaware. I've been here twenty years and this is only the second time we've had an appreciable amount of snow. Bill would have loved this.

I think this was a present from Bill.

Thanks Bill!

Old Films

 

I finally figured out how to get a clip from one of my old 8mm films that I had converted and posted to my You Tube account.

Here is the first clip. It is of me and Bill and our home in Pennsylvania. This film was taken in 1996. A totally different time and place from where I am now. 

The blond Pomeranian was Bill's dog. The orange one was mine. Dogs choose their humans you know. Horace was the only dog I ever had that chose me.

Our home in Pennsylvania was on 7.875 acres of wooded land in East Brandywine Township, Pennsylvania. Oh how I miss those innocent days. I am so thankful that I was mindful enough to take film so I ca relieve those memories. Of course when I die I will again relive this life that I had back then. Both Bill and our Poms will be waiting for us on the other side of the Rainbow Bridge.

Remembering Bill This Christmas

DEATH IS NOTHING AT ALL

December 14, 2021

Death is nothing at all.

It does not count.

I have only slipped away into the next room.

Nothing has happened.

Everything remains exactly as it was.

I am I, and you are you,

And the old life that we lived so fondly together is untouched,

     Unchanged.

Whatever we were to each other, that we still are.

Call me by the old familiar name.

Speak of me in the easy way which you always used.

Put no difference into your tone.

Wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow.

Laugh as we always laughed at the little jokes that we enjoyed together.

Play, smile,, think of me, pray for me.

Let my name be ever the household word that it always was.

Let it be spoken without an effort, without the ghost of a shadow upon it.

Life means all that it ever meant.

It is the same as it ever was.

There is absolute and unbroken continuity.

What is this death but a negligible accident?

Why should I be out of mind because I am out of sight?

I am but waiting for you, for an interval,

somewhere very near, 

Just round the corner

All is well.

Marriage License Application

 Pat and I just returned from the Sussex County Courthouse in Georgetown. We obtained our marriage license. Now Pat and I have to wait twenty-four hours. This is a Delaware state law requirement, wait twenty-four hours before getting married as a cooling off period. They don't want anyone making a rash decision like Brittaney Spears did who got drunk on night and got married to her current boyfriend at that time (I'm not even sure he was her official "boyfriend") Jason Alexander (not the actor on "Seinfeld.") When she sobered up a few days later she had their Las Vegas marriage annulled. 

Well folks, I'm sure I'm going to marry my honey, Pat Flynn from Hamilton, Ontario, Canada tomorrow. I've been besotted with him since I first laid eyes on him when we med in the summer of 2013. Yes, we met through my blog. 

Interestingly, he wasn't a regular follower of my blog and still isn't. He's not interested but he was interested in me when he saw my photo on the TV sitting in the gallery at the Delaware state legislature waiting to testify for same sex marriage. He did an Internet search and found my blog and left a comment just as I was writing a new blog entry. Another interesting factor is that no one before of since has left a live comment on my blog while I was in the process of writing a new posting. I responded to his comment and a few days later we progressed to FaceTiming and eventually he asked me if he could come down for a visit. He did and within five minutes of meeting him face to face I knew he was The One. But another interesting fact was I met him a month after I married Bill and I wasn't going to leave Bill. Yes, I was in love with two men at the same time. That is possible you know. In fact I think someone even wrote a song about loving the same two people at the same time. 

So we met in a parking lot of a Lewes Hotel and as I previously said in the post, within a few minutes I knew this man was who I was looking for in all the wrong places (another song?) ever since I was aware I liked men. Took a long time to find him but I always knew I would? And what about Bill you ask? Well, if you are a long time follower of my blogs you would know that when I initially moved in with Bill in January of 1965 it was strictly on a roommate basis. That was our understanding, we were not to be lovers. He had no restrictions on each other. Bill traveled a lot with his job (he was an electronics technician with RCA and then General Electric) and was gone for months at a time. I needed an apartment to live in for my new job at Girard Bank in Philadelphia. He said I could live in his apartment in Pennsauken New Jersey which was right across the river from Philadelphia. But a funny thing happened over the years, I grew to love Bill. He knew what he was doing when he convinced me to move in with him all those years ago. In fact I grew to love Bill so much that there isn't a day that I don't grieve for him. I look forward to the day when our spirits are reunited for eternity. And that is my background of my fifty-nine year relationship with Bill. 

Now I start a new relationship with Pat tomorrow. We're scheduled to be married tomorrow at the Sussex County Courthouse in Georgetown Delaware.

When we were answering questions this morning to get our marriage license I was surprised that I was getting emotional. The last time I got married, Bill was the one who got emotional. I'll probably be a mess tomorrow. I have arranged with the same people to videotape my marriage that videotaped my marriage to Bill twelve years ago. I'll try not to do an ugly crying spectacle. 

Folks, I cannot tell you how happy I am to be marring such a wonderful man like Pat. He and Bill are nothing alike so I'm not marrying on the rebound. In fact Pat is a lot like me. We understand each other. Bill and I were as different in personalities as could be. But that didn't stop us from loving each other. 

Life is interesting isn't it folks? And I'm going to find out more as I embark on my final journey tomorrow with my Canadian honey. Right now I feel like the luckiest man on the planet. And you know what folks? I am!

Bill and Mom

Bill and my Mom, Betty Tipton July 4, 2004 (best friends) 

July 4, 2004 is when I took this photo of Bill and my Mom walking back to our house in Pennsylvania.

I was searching for a photo of Bill this morning to post just because I felt like it. Almost two years now since Bill has gone and I still miss him terribly but I am comforted knowing that both Bill and my Mom are together again in Heaven.

Almost every night now Bill visits me via that burned out Christmas electric light. The past two weeks another burned out light is on now, just below Bill's yellow light. This other one is blue. I believe that is my Mother.

Bill and I Mom were only four years apart in age. They were best friends. Which is ironic because when I came out to my Mother in 1963 she went berserk. Yes, a lot of drama which I have written about before on this blog. She thought I ruined my life. She screamed at me "What did I do wrong? I tried to raise you right!" After I came out, I had no contact with her for over a year. Then came one Thanksgiving and she called me inviting me for Thanksgiving dinner at the family home. I told her if I was coming I would bring Bill, who I was living with at that time. She didn't want that. I told her I wasn't coming unless I brought Bill with me. I wasn't going to hide Bill. She relented and I brought Bill. Long story short, she liked Bill! My father liked Bill! They all became good friends. In fact I think my father liked Bill more than me. Maybe because Bill was butcher than me. Who knows? 

Looking at this picture now I know that Bill and Mom are together in Heaven. And this is as it should be. Gives me comfort knowing this Truth. I also derive comfort knowing that one day I will join them. I look forward to that day.

Bill Blinks His Light For Me

This is a video I took last night of how Bill communicates with me.

Bill died a year and a half ago (February 22, 2024). During the time I was his caregiver for the last three years of his life, we often discussed about the existence of an afterlife. We agreed that if there was one and he could contact me, that he would do that.

It didn't take too long for him to figure that out. Three days after he died, while I was in my kitchen I noticed a burned out Christmas light that was blinking. This was so unusual because those lights, which I had put up several years ago and never took down because Bill, with his macular degeneration, preferred to see those bright colors up year round; those light never blinked. Many of them, including the one that was blinking, was burned out. 

I was confused at first as to why that light was blinking then it struck me, Bill was an electrician by trade his whole life here on earth. Of course he would contact me through electrical means. And especially those colorful Christmas lights which he loved so much. 

Since that time a year and a half ago right after Bill died, that light sometimes is out for months at a time. But it always comes back. Lately it's been coming back a lot, especially when I'm lonely and depressed. When I see that light blinking, which is in my direct line of vision where I stand in my kitchen, I'm always uplifted because I know Bill's spirit is with me. Lately that light has been blinking a lot. I think it's because Pat got his final approval from the American Embassy in Montreal for us to get married. A week and a half before Bill died, he called me aside to him to tell me "Something's changed. I want you to know that I wish you and Pat all the happiness in the world." A week and a half later Bill was gone. He knew.

The fifty-nine and a half years Bill and I lived together he did everything to make me happy. That was Bill. That's how blessed I was to have him in my life. It is so amazing that even in his afterlife he continues to wish me well. That's Bill.

I don't care what anybody thinks. I know that Bill and I will eventually bed reunited when I go Home to be with him in Heaven. This I know. I have proof his spirit exists.

For Bill

Bill's stairway to his downstairs bedroom

 Monday I pulled out all stops and put in new rope lights to Bill's stairs. The previous ones had almost burned out. This was a big job.

Bill loved his downstairs (our finished basement) bedroom. Ironically I didn't even know I had that room. When I was having this house built in 2006, I was preoccupied in selling out Pennsylvania house. I only came down on weekends to mow the grass.

When we finally sold our Pennsylvania house eleven months later (yes, eleven months later!), and we moved in here I assumed Bill would take the upstairs bedroom because that's the kind of bedroom he had at our Pennsylvania house.   When he told me he was taking the "downstairs room" I said "what room?" I thought he meant the big media room. He said "No, the room to the side (right) of the stairs." I had to go down and look and viola! There was a room completely drywalled, drop ceiling, pot lights, carpeted. "How about that?" I thought to myself. And that room tucked in by the stairs was Bill's room for the nineteen years we lived here. He loved that room. Since he died, I haven't changed a thing in his room. I even leave the lights on and his hearing aids in the charger. Bill's container of ashes and his American flag are also in his room. His room is my memorial to Bill. I don't have to visit a cemetery and look at a headstone and the ground to visit Bill. I go downstairs to his room. 

A couple of weeks ago about half the rope lights that lined the stairs to his room had burned out. I was going to leave it. Then, I noticed that every time I used those stairs, I got a little depressed. Maybe the stairs were a metaphor for Bill's passing. Whatever was triggering my depression I had to change it. It was big job removing the old rope lights and installing the new ones, with my arthritic body resisting all that bending bur I got it done.

Now when I descend and ascend those stairs; those bright lights remind me of the bright light that Bill brought into my life for fifty-nine years. 

Bill

 

Bill and Ron April 15, 2021

Earlier, this morning I posted about a text that I sent to my sister-in-law.  I decided to take it down. She's very private and I don't want to upset her. 

I discovered this photo of me and Bill that was taken four years ago. I don't remember if I took it or someone else but it perfectly encapsulates our relationship. I love it! I will have it enlarged and placed among my other photos of me and Bill that I have placed around my open area in my kitchen and sunroom and living room that give me so much comfort when I see them. 

I was blessed for almost sixty years loving and living with this exceptional man. I look forward to the day when our spirits reunite for eternity. That is one thing I am certain of. 

Wait for me Bill, I'll be home soon.

Happy Birthday Bill!

 Today would have been Bill's 97th birthday. 

Me and Bill July 4, 1976 Philadelphia, PA

I almost forget today was his birthday, then earlier this morning it just came to me. I think that was Bill reminding me. As I have said, Bill communicates with me almost daily by telepathy. 

I always made honored Bill on his birthday by giving him a specialized birthday card. We stopped exchanging gifts years ago but we always exchanged cards. Bill loved receiving and reading the birthday cards that I sent to him which I always signed "Love, Pots." 

Rarely a day goes by that I don't grieve for the loss of Bill in my life. But as each day goes by, I realize that he is in a much better place now. I also know that his spirit is awaiting my spirit and we will soon be reunited for eternity. 

Happy birthday Bill! Love you! Pots.

Bill Kelly, January 13, 2021 (one week before his stroke on January 21, 2021)

At end of Bill's life he could not see me because of his macular degeneration. He only had peripheral vision. All he saw was my shadow. I could no longer look him in his eyes. I missed that. But Bill knew I was with him, taking care of him. One of the toughest things for me to deal with when Bill died was that I could no longer take care of him. It took me several months to realize that he's being taking care of now by forces much stronger than me and that he is happy. Reunited with his dogs and his family and friends. I know he awaits me. And he will see me again and our love will be eternal. This earth is just a way station. 

I'm coming home soon Bill.

A World of Wednesdays August 13, 2025

 The hot and humid days have returned to Casa Tipton-Kelly here in southern coastal Delaware. The last week or so we had normal summer weather which was really nice. I'm old enough to remember that most summers were like the last week, highs of eighties and medium humidity. This morning I woke up to ninety-seven percent humidity. My multiple windows in my living and sun rooms were covered in condensation. Egads! Here we go again. I won't be mowing my grass today. I can't take the heat and humidity. Jose will be by later to mow and trim. 

Now here we go for my weekly recap of "Wednesdays":

What's At The Top Of My Mind

The same actually, what the Convicted Felon in the White House is up to. I continue to be very concerned the direction my country is going in with the complicity of the coward Republican lawmakers who have failed in their Constitutional oath of office. 

Some of the clowns that inhabit Trump's corrupt incompetent cabinet

AG Bondi, FBI Director Patel and Jeanine Piero, this trio of clowns were window dressing on one of Trump's press conferences, they know he's lying every time he opens his pie hole.

Take this concern of mine as a given every week. In the meantime here is another concern that is top of my mind this week:

All the vines that are rapidly taking over my circle of holly trees bordering my back yard. It seems like these vines grow overnight. Two of the most aggressive vines are the Virginia Creeper and the honeysuckle vines. I pulled some down this morning but I'll have to get out there today and crawl under the holly trees and snip those monster vines off at the root. Those vines will kill the trees. I've even seem them eat abandoned houses. When the human race is long gone from this world, those vines will reclaim the earth. 

Where I've Been

Same old, same old, Food Lion (supermarket), Restore Thrift Store and Pepper's Greenhouses. I'm quite content to visit these three businesses. They provide just about all I need in my life at this time. The folks at these establishments all know me well, we're like old friends. We are old friends! I would like to go down to the Rehoboth Beach boardwalk and breath in some of that salt air from the Atlantic Ocean but fighting Route One traffic just isn't worth it. Driving on Route One is like Russian Roulette, sooner or later I'm going to have an accident. I'm not concerned about hitting anybody. I'm concerned that some idiot from out of state (and in state) will hit me in their frantic rush to the beach. It just ain't worth it folks. I'll stay home until fall when, hopefully, the traffic tapers off.

Where I'm Going

This morning I'm going to Food Lion again and Pepper's Greenhouses. I'm out of apple cider and I need cash money to pay Jose after he mows my grass today. At Pepper's I need to buy more iron grates to prop up my autumn chrysanthemums. Sometimes Jose brings a helper to week whack around the edges of my backyard oasis. Jose is good at trimming but his helper is brutal, when he weed whacks, he cuts half my flowers down. I've tried asking him to lighten up but he doesn't understand me or pretends not to understand me. He always has a scowl on his face. I think he does it on purpose. I haven't seen him in the past several weeks though. I suspect he's in hiding from Trump's Ice Gestapo goons.

What I'm Eating

Not much. I find as I get older my appetite is dwindling. Lately I have been eating fresh corn on the cob (at one dollar per ear!), which I love. I also found some frozen chicken bits that don't have garlic powder in it. I like garlic but not the garlic powder that permeates most frozen foods to compensate for the lack of flavor. Just give me plain old breaded chicken strips (fingers) that I can bake in my air fryer for fifteen minutes. I also am having Portuguese rolls. Ever have Portuguese rolls? I developed a taste for them when I used to vacation in Provincetown, Mass in the Seventies. I've never been able to find them until recently I discovered that BJ's Wholesale bakes them in house. I get a package of six of them, take one out, cut it in half and freeze the rest for later consumption. I only have half a roll. They're very chewy. I like chewy. I don't like "bubblegum bread" like Wonder bread. Never have, even when I was a mean little kid. Tasted like air to me. Tasteless air. I know my Mother wouldn't like chewy bread. She did make good southern biscuits though. 

Who Gets A Fist Bump

The Democratic Texas lawmakers who fled Texas to delay Trump's latest attempt to rig the election. They have done this at great personal sacrifice to themselves and their family but at least they're showing some backbone and courage, something that the now corrupt and cowardly Republicans are unable to do. Overall though I don't feel as if the Democratic leadership is fighting hard enough. The Democrats need new leadership. "Strongly Worded Letters" by granny glasses wearing can't talk without reading a scrip Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer won't work. The Dems have to get down and dirty and fight the Republicans just as hard as the Republicans fight to win. The Democrats have to stop playing by the rules when the Republicans aren't. Michelle Obama's decree "When they go low, we go high." What the fuck Michelle? Yeah, when I'm bullied I'm going to turn around and walk away? I've never done that in my life. I punch back. And guess what? It always stopped the bullying. Actually I was only bullied three times in my life. Seventh grade, ninth grade and in Basic Training in the Army. Each time I fought back and the bully regretted he even tried to bully me. Know how I fought back. With my fist. Yes. Each time. Solved the problem.

Who Gets A Slap

The CEO's of these charities like St. Jude's and the ASPCA who get millions of dollars in compensation while their commercials flood the TV for more contributions. Hey CEO's, why not take a cut in your seven figures salaries and donate it to your own charity? Just saying.

What's Making Me Smile

Bill stopped by again this week via that burned out Christmas light.

Bill always knows when to come by and let me know he's still with me. His visit this week was especially welcomed because I was starting to sink in depression. Nothing serious, just the usual feeling sorry for myself being alone. I usually am able to pull myself out of that deep dark well but seeing that burned our Christmas light blink I know that Bill is still with me and waiting for me to join him. That knowledge of what awaits me when I end this life, makes me smile.

Bill Kelly Memorial Garden

Yesterday we finally got a break from the brutal, oppressive heat wave that has kept me inside most of the days this summer. 

I took advantage of this normal weather and edged the flower patch I have around the transformer I share with my neighbor Bob.

In a previous post, I wrote (and showed) how Comcast command that Bill's white picket fence had to be removed from around the transformer. Bill thought that transformer looked ugly (it is ugly) and wanted to camouflage it with something more pleasant to the eyes. That's when he installed a white PVC picket fence. We've had that picket fence

The white PVC picket fence Bill put in 2010

around the transformer for about fifteen years until last month when Asplundh, a local tree removal company, hired by Comcast, came by and ripped everything out. 

I understand that Comcast wants access to their equipment. I'm not totally unreasonable and in fact, I wasn't even in favor of the fence but Bill wanted it. So we had it. 

What an ugly scar Asplundh left after their workers ripped the fence and vegetation out,

leaving a sad pile

in my driveway of what was once a beautiful fence and flowers. Even my neighbor said something about it. So I planted a few flowers. 

Better.

Then I planted a few more flowers. My clematis, which I assumed were dead since they were ruthlessly ripped out, came back from the dead. So then I resurrected my rusted out trellises that I had stored behind my shed, that were destined to Got Junk, and put them over the new clematis growth.

Even better.

Then I had an idea. Rather than let the years long mulch buildup around the transformer return to wire grass hell, why not keep pulling the weeds out and keep that as a garden? Viola! I have turned a lemon, an eyesore, a scar into lemonade. No longer would my neighbors have to look at that transformer, which resembles Russian architecture at it most brutal.

I even added a garden gnome!

However, it has been difficult to maintain this new garden because of this stifling heat and humidity we're having this summer. I try to some garden maintenance at the end of the day when the sun goes down but the humidity is still here. I'm soaked in only five or ten minutes of work. I do manage to water and fertilize, despite the humidity that just drains all the energy out of me.

Then yesterday we got a reprieve, however temporary, from this brutal heat and humidity.

Know what I did? I edged the garden! Yes I did! I even took three wheelbarrows full of wire grass infested dirt out to my compost pile at the far edge of my property, where I put all my garden waste. Yes, I keep all my garden waste in a compost pile at the edge of my property. That's why I chose this lot that bordered a road and a cornfield. I specifically didn't want a property that bordered on my neighbor's property because surely they would complain about the compost pile. Nobody complains about my compost (where I also put my kitchen waste) pile now. 

I completed the edging last night. Today, at daylight (I was up at 3:15 AM again this morning, I can't figure this out but will go into this recent phenomenon in a future blog post) I will finally clean up that small remaining pile of mulch that has been in my driveway since spring. I had hoped to have that mulch gone by July 4th but the heat and humidity prevented me from doing so. I'm sure my neighbor Bob will be glad to see that mulch pile disappear. Personally, I will miss it. I have grown fond of it. Every time I went outside and saw it, I felt like an old friend was waiting for me to finally give it a home. Today is the day mulch pile!

Now here's the best part folks. After I finish the job, I am getting a plaque from Amazon and renaming that flower garden as "The Bill Kelly Memorial Garden."

Bill has always loved colors. The multi colors of Christmas lights and especially a the festival of colors of an flower garden. Yes, he would approve. And now ever time I drive out of my garage and I see that colorful flower garden, I will be reminded of my undying and eternal love for Bill. 

Me and Bill July 2010 - he was my life and I his. One day we will be reunited once I get out of the Dystopian nightmare this country has become under The Felon and his cowardly enablers. 

Up Early For A Return Trip To Lowes

Bill at Lowes March 13, 2020, ten months before his stroke of January 12, 2021. He was so healthy then. We both thought we would live like this forever. How quickly thing change in life. Appreciate what you have now because you never knew when that life  you take for granted is snatched away from you And then you're a sad puppy for the rest of your life like I am now.

 Up early again this morning to take that weak sauce pond pump back to Lowes. 

Oh I really like to travel early (6 AM) down Route One.

No problem returning the pump and receiving credit on my credit card. The Return clerk asked no questions. Good. I was ready this with answers.

After that successful transaction I decided to roam around the store to see what was new. Bill and I used to go to Lowes all the time. Bill loved the lumber section of Lowers. I like the smell of cut wood and of course, all those gorgeous men up early to get their contraction products. I miss those trips to Lowes with Bill. Always reminders like this that make me sad how much I miss Bill. But I keep reminding myself that Bill is no longer suffering and is a much better place now, waiting for me to join him. 

I was pleasantly surprised by all the new products. The store seemed refreshed. Maybe it's because of the competition with Amazon. Whatever the reason, I decided I will make more early morning trips like this to the wonders of Route One. For the past several years my forays out of Casa Tipton-Kelly have been to Food Lion, Peppers Greenhouse, and Restore Thrift Store and once a month to BJ's in Millsboro. It's not until Pat comes down that I vary from my tight radius places I visit and spend money. 

In Lowes I found a disco light. I've been wanting for some months now to find a disco lamp to replace my dazzling bling Christmas tree in my upstairs window to show off to my neighbors. Who knew I only needed a light bulb? It's on now and it is exactly what I wanted in that window. I've always like the sparkly colors of a disco bulb. Makes me feel good.

Fence Removal

You know folks, it's always something.

This morning while I was relaxing in my bedroom, staying out of the oppressive heat and humidity that is hovering over southern coastal Delaware today, I hear my doorbell ring.

"Oh who is it now? Another salesman?" 

Alas no, the person ringing my Ring doorbell was a very attractive redhead (not Pat) in a orange construction helmet and Day-Glo lime green T-shirt.

He identified himself from a local tree service company called Asplunh. He was here to remove Bill's white PVC fence from around our transformer. 

I knew this was coming.

For the past year there have been rumblings about too many homes here in paradise i. e. Sussex County, Delaware, hiding their transformers with shrubbery and the like. 

We've been warned to REMOVED ALL OBSTACLES but of course I've been ignoring the warnings because Bill put in that fence. It's part of my memory with Bill. Actually, I was against putting in the fence, I wanted to keep access unobstructed to the transformer but Bill insisted. He said the transformer was "ugly."

Bill and our neighbor Bob leveling off the fence

Over the years I've had many colorful and beautiful displays of flowers including a magnificent display of light lavender clematis. The past several years I've been the talk of the neighborhood with my blazing red display of salvia flowers. That is no more after today.

Poor Bill, he would be turning over in his grave if he was in a grave. Actually his ashes are in a beautiful box in his bedroom downstairs.

After the guys from Asplundh left I put a call into GOT-JUNK! to remove the fence. They want a minimum of $398 to take it away (quarter tuck). Instead I posted "FREE WHITE PVC FENCE" on my NextDoor app and got an immediate response within five minutes. It's 12:30 PM now. "Jared" said he would be over at 1:30 PM.

I feel bad for my salvia plants that just took hold and my long time clematis but it is what it is. 

Another piece of Bill's history gone. 

For Bill

If I have a memorial service when I die, please play this song. 

Delaware Passes Right To Die Law

Me with the wife of my former dentist at their home office, September 221, 2004. I haven't seen this picture in years. Just popped up on my computer this morning. She lost her daughter at a very young age. She and her husband also retired down here to Delaware about the same time I did twenty years ago. I haven't seen them in ages. I usually ran into either one of them at the local supermarket. Either theirs (which I haven't been too in years) or mine (which is quite a distance from where they live. I will have to make a visit to their supermarket. Maybe I can run into here again. Both very good friends of mine for years. I felt so bad for them when their daughter died. Their daughter had just gotten married and was beginning her life. Yet another reminder of how lucky I have been in life to have lived this long and to have spent so may wonderful years with Bill. I have been truly blessed.

Delaware is the 12th U.S. jurisdiction to authorize medical aid in dying(10 other states plus Washington, D.C.) and the first to do so since New Mexico in April 2021. The law takes effect on January 1, 2026 or once the final regulations are formed to support the law, whichever is sooner.

I read this in my local newspaper a few weeks ago. 

For years the Delaware state legislature has been trying to pass this basic human right, only to have the Delaware governor refuse to sign it. Governor Carney (a Democrat) refused to sign this bill because it was against his personal beliefs. Unbelievable! 

I always thought our elected representatives were there to represent us. Apparently with Governor Carney his personal beliefs are more important than the general well being of his constituents. 

Well, I am here to tell you folks I was so greatly relieved when I read in the newspaper that this bill finally passed. 

As I have mentioned many times before, I am not afraid of death. As a matter of fact I welcome it now after a long and fulfilling and interesting life. 

I'll be eighty-four years old in November. I have led a very good life. Oh sure, a few bumps and scary parts but that's all part of our learning journey. That's why we're here folks, to learn. After this lesson our spirit returns to our true home. Some call it Heaven, others call where our spirit goes after death other things. Whatever you call it, I do not fear going to my true home and especially now that Bill, the love of my life has died and left me alone. I do so look forward to being reunited with him and all my friends, family members, former co-workers and pets in that Great Beyond, or whatever you call it. 

There were only two things I feared at this time in my life. I feared dying before Bill. Oh how I feared leaving him alone in this world. He didn't deserve that. I don't pray but I guess one could say I prayed to whatever greater power there was to let Bill pass before me. My prayers were granted. 

My other fear was, when I die that it would be a long, slow and painfully agonizing death full of indignities. Thank God Bill didn't have much pain during his slow descent from the time of his stroke in January of 2021 until his death in February of 2024. But he did have a great deal of discomfort.

He was blind, weak, confused and very unhappy that he could no longer do his projects. He hated being dependent on people for his daily existence. He had a great difficulty swallowing, and had swollen legs with open wounds. Not a pretty sight or way of existing during his final years. He often talked about taking his own life which I had to talk him out of. I had to convince him that him taking his own life would only create a great deal difficulty for me and more important that if he wanted to end his days here at his home, he couldn't do something like that. He loved Casa Tipton-Kelly and being with me so he suffered in his dependent existence on me and health care workers who regularly visited him during the final three years of his life. Again, perhaps the only saving grace during the last three year's of Bill's life was that he wasn't in excruciating pain. Discomfort? Yes, a great deal of it. Pain, no. Again, thank you Jesus! 

Now to me. How will my final days end? Yesterday, while at my computer looking at some You Tube accounts my Apple phone alerted me several times. At first I didn't pay attention to the alerts but then I looked. This was last night during the demonstrations in Los Angeles against ICE. I thought something had escalated so I looked at my Apply Watch. I was surprised to see that my Apple Watch was alerting me to the fact that my heart rate had just registered a low of 34 BPM! Wow! Apparently I was almost a sitting dead man at my computer. I got up and moved around a bit and got my BPM up to fifty. 

I did a little research and found that a slow heart rate could be a symptom of bradycardia. If I had bradycardia the relief could be an implementation of a pacemaker. I'm not there yet folks. But one thing I do know now, that if I did have a stroke, I have more options now. 

Hopefully that was just a one off last night while I was sitting at my computer. I know my blood pressure has been consistently up since Trump was elected. Me and millions of others. 

I didn't expected to spend my final years worrying about the destruction of America but there it is. 

One day at a time folks. But one big worry is no more, I have options now.