Monday, July 03, 2017

Happy Anniversary!

Bill and I taking wedding vows four years ago today!

Hard to believe that four years has passed already since our official marriage four years ago!  

Forty-nine years is a long time to wait, finally we get married.

Yes, four years ago Bill and I were officially married at the Georgetown, Delaware Sussex County Courthouse. 

Bill and me outside the Sussex County Courthouse after getting married

We chose that date, July 3rd, because on that date we met forty-nine years ago. Coincidentally, July 1st was the first day same sex marriages were legal in Delaware.  

Our witnesses, our good friends Judy and Jack Dawson

No family attended our wedding ceremony.  Bill's family cut him off about a year before I met him after they discovered he was gay.  Bill has seen none of his family since then.  The break occurred when Bill was at his mother's funeral and one of his sister confronted him with "We know about you!"  This was back in the Dark Ages when being identified as gay labeled one as sick and "less than". Also, Bill's family is from the South (Georgia). Unfortunately many in the South still have the same opinion of gay people.  I have experienced this first hand when researching my family tree (my father was from North Carolina) and was discounted and banned from contact with different family members.


My family never approved of my relationship with Bill but "accepted" it as long as our gayness wasn't mentioned.  "Don't ask, don't tell."  Well, by getting publicly married we broke that unwritten rule in my family and I haven't heard from my family since. Apparently Bill was all right as long as he was my "friend" but when we came out publicly it was too much for them to accept. Of course I am saddened by the estrangement of my two brothers and their families but you know folks, I live my life and they live theirs.  I can't and will not live my life they way they want me too.  Accept me (and Bill) as I am or not at all.  

That said, and I apologize for the negativity of this post, Bill and I are very happy. Meeting and living with Bill the past fifty-three years of my life is the best thing in my life. I would not be where I am today if not for Bill. 

Bill taking charge again
Thank you Bill for giving me such a happy and secure life. 

On to sixty years now!

I hope we have many more years together

31 comments:

  1. Congrats!

    This is a great post. Forty-nine years and his family having cut him off and all the rest... Great story.

    Just a great post and I am so glad I live in a time when this is finally legally possible!

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    1. Harry,
      Way back when Bill and I first met I never in a million years would have believed that we would be legally married. In fact, I'm surprised that we're still alive! But I am thankful that we're here and enjoying life.
      Have a great day!
      Ron

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  2. Ron and Bill, All the best! Just a lovely post to read!

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  3. Happy Anniversary! Love is love❤️ and should be celebrated! Congrats to you both and I hope you have many more happy years together!

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    1. Thank you mags! I too hope Bill and I have many more happy days together. Wouldn't it be great if one of us reaches 100? Could happen!
      Have a great day!
      Ron

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  4. So beautiful. This is what we love about your blog, sharing your story. Glenn and I will celebrate our 31 years together tomorrow. We met, and never parted, on July 4th.

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    1. Thanks Mike! I understand what you mean when you say "We met, and never parted." Here too! And how cool is it that your anniversary is July 4th? Happy anniversary!
      Ron

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  5. Happy Anniversary from San Francisco! Would that both your families could have seen their way to being loving and accepting!

    Thank you for sharing this post. x

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    1. Thank you Bea. I do wish my family would be more accepting, especially since they have gay members in their immediate families but they are in the closet and I guess that's what makes them uncomfortable with me, that I'm out. But that's the only way I can live. I'm not going to go back in the closet just so they can feel comfortable. However, I do think they care for me and I do care for them. This is just an awkward situation we're in now. Neither one of us is going to change. It's a shame.
      Ron

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  6. Ron, that is so beautiful. Happy Anniversary.

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    1. Thank you Jimmy.
      Have a great day!
      Ron

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  7. Well, hell...LET'S DANCE!!!

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5SnsbIsUTEs

    :-)

    -Andy

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    1. Thanks Andy!
      Have a great day!
      Ron

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  8. Happy Anniversary!!

    Many more years to come!!

    xoxo

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    1. AkexandriaVic,
      More years to come!
      Have a great day!
      Ron

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  9. Congratulations on four years. I cannot believe that it's been four years but look forward to your making it at least 6 more years. Ten is such an even number and given both yours and Bills health, no doubt you'll make it. In the mean time, just celebrate each year as it comes and each day that you both spend together.

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    1. Jack,
      It is a cliche but I'll say it, I make each day count and am thankful for each day we have in good health that we can enjoy our life together. And when that time comes when one of us has to part, the other will be there too.
      Have a great day!
      Ron

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  10. Well achieved, Ron and Bill. More happy times to come, I'm sure. Life is there to be enjoyed so go ahead and do just that!

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    1. Ray,
      You're right, we have a lot more life to live!
      Thanks.
      Ron

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  11. Happy Anniversary, Ron and Bill. You are heroes to me.

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    1. Thank you George.
      Have a great day!
      Ron

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  12. Happy 4th. Hope you all enjoy the day. Happy Anniversary. I'm from the South (Tennessee) and Church of Christ brought up - so you can imagine my upbringing on the gay issue. I am a spiritual person and try to follow the bible's teaching. But certainly have missed the mark from time to time. My family cut me off from a divorce and remarriage issue some time ago, but luckily in my case, and having a child, reunited us. I have a few friends that live the gay lifestyle and I don't judge them. And I don't you either. I enjoy them for the person they are. I guess I can't help my upbringing and beliefs, and I admit I do have a problem understanding the gay lifestyle, but I do understand what it is to love someone and to do anything to be with that person. And I do not shun people or judge them just b/c of my not being gay. And I think it is horrible that your families are missing out on your lives, even if they do not agree. I know it happens so much and I really wish families would just open their hearts with love regardless. I hope you both have a wonderful day and glad you have each other to snuff out any pain from having lost so much to be together. I enjoy reading your blog when I get time. Which is next to never. But holidays and long weekends are usually good for getting that time. Take care.

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    1. Back Porch Writer,
      Thank you for your thoughtful comments. I do understand your thinking and my family member's (those who don't understand "the gay lifestyle", a term which is inaccurate as much as a "straight lifestyle" doesn't say anything. They just don't understand. Perhaps the best way I can explain "the gay lifestyle" is how I explained it to my very straight and conservative neighbors when we moved to Delaware. Our neighbors in Pennsylvania shunned us and one even tried to get us arrested just because we were gay (unbelievable of course and the police chief threw her out of his office). My neighbor Barbara asked "why did you CHOOSE to be gay." The simple answer is I didn't CHOOSE. I just am. I always have been, since my earliest memory (four years old). I think where a lot of straight people get their misunderstanding is that they think of the sexual angle. Gays are no more preoccupied with sex than straight people. Sex is important but the relationship is more important. I have only felt normal when I was with another man. Being with a woman was so against my nature. Please don't take this personal but to me being with a woman feels so wrong. I feel the same way a straight person would feel if they forced themselves to be with members of their own sex. Well, enough of my armchair psychology. I just am.
      Thanks again for your comments. Always appreciated especially hearing other opinions. That's why I write a blog.
      Ron

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  13. Congratulations! What a fantastic (and inspiring) story, Ron. My very best to you and Bill always.

    It's a shame that the world is filled with so many hateful, negative people who wallow in self-righteousness. They will eventually drown in it.

    Anyway, have a super day!

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    1. Thanks Jon. I think the problem with some members of my family they're uncomfortable with me being out of the closet. When Bill and I got married and our marriage was publicized, I think that was the final straw for some of them. Hard to explain why their family member is "one of them" when they're living a life denying the rights of gay people. Also the fact that some members of their immediate families are also gay but in the closet. I am the proverbial black sheep in the family. Every family has one, or more.
      Thanks again Jon and you have a wonderful day in spite of the heat and humidity (which we're also having here).
      Ron

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  14. Ron - I'm a day late on this. But I really enjoyed your blog and all the comments - back and forth. I am so glad for you and Bill - so glad because if you two weren't together I would probably never had the chance to meet you and share your friendship - and Bills. You are generous to a fault with telling your story to all - and generous with many ways beyond that. Hey - you have two wonderful anniversaries in a row with July 4th.

    Pat

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    1. Thank you so much Pat. Your friendship has added so much to our lives.
      Ron

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  15. what a marvelous post ! Congratulations !!

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    1. Dr. Spo,
      I remember fondly attending your wedding this past February. A privilege that you and Someone accorded me and Pat. Thank you so much. I hope I'm around for many anniversaries for both of you.
      Ron

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  16. Belated Happy Anniversary! This was a lovely, lovely post. You and Bill are lucky to have each other.

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