Turning Points In My Life - Choices After Graduation

U. S. Post Office Coatesville, PA

After I graduated from high school in June of 1959 I had a major life choice to make. Do I get a job or do I get my service obligation out of the way?  

When I graduated from high school in 1959, all young men had to register for the draft after they turned eighteen years of age.  I was seventeen years old when I graduated.  I wouldn't turn eighteen until the following November.  

I had some time to make a decision. Initially I tried to get a clerical job. This was no easy task. 

Back in the Fifties, the help wanted column listed "Male" and "Female" jobs. The clerical job I wanted was listed under the Female column. Gay boy that I was (and am), I was doomed from the start (apparently). One job I briefly considered was airline attendant but that job choice was also out of consideration for me being a male. Back then there were airlines only hired women as stewardesses.  Remember that quaint term?  

I applied for jobs at a several offices that listed Help Wanted in Downingtown. I was turned down at every one, including the company where my father work, Gindy Trailers.  I thought maybe I had an "in" there since I cleaned their offices part-time but no, I was dead meat to every business in Downingtown. Apparently Mr. King and my high school had blackballed me from getting any clerical job in my hometown. 

My only option left was to join the service and get that obligation out of the way.  I feared getting drafted and being sent overseas to shoot at somebody and be shot at.  I did not want that. However, I did want to get my service obligation out of the way and since I had no job prospects, I decided to join . . . . the Navy.  Yes, I wanted to "see the world" so I decided to join the Navy. 

The four branches of service recruiters were located in the basement of the U.S. Post Office in Coatesville, Pennsylvania, a town six miles west of Downingtown, where I lived. My Mother drove me to the post office.  I entered the building and walked down the stairs to the basement. Four desks were located in the basement in a quadrangle. The first desk was the Marine recruiter. Are you kidding? Never in a million years would I join the Marines. Not that there is anything wrong with that but me in the Marines?  Picture that and try not to laugh.

The next desk I saw was the Air Force recruiter's desk.  No, the Air Force held no interest for me either. Too bland, although Bill (Kelly my now husband) would vehemently disagree with me since he was in the Air Force for eight years). 

The third desk was the Navy recruiter's desk. He was in and that's who I wanted to see. The desk directly next to the Navy recruiter's desk was the Army recruiter's desk. The Army was out for me too. Too much like the Marines.  Way too butch for my sensitive young self at that time of my life, all that shooting and being shot at. 

I sat myself at the side chair of the Naval recruiter's desk. I told him I wanted to join the Navy. I wanted to see the world and I figured the Navy was how I was going to see it.  I wasn't too thrilled about the Naval uniforms but I considered that a small price to pay for traveling the world.

The Navy recruiter filled out my paperwork. Since I wasn't yet the age of consent (18 years of age) I had to take the papers home to have my parents' sign them.

The next day I returned to the Post Office and the Navy recruiter's desk with my signed papers. He was out to lunch. While I sat at the side chair of his desk waiting for him to return from lunch, the Army recruiter asked me why I was joining the Navy. I told him "Because I want to see the world."  He told me "You know you can see the world also if you join the Army but you would only have to serve three years."

I was intrigued.  I got up from my chair at the Navy recruiter's desk and sat myself down at the side chair at the Army recruiter's desk.  The Army recruiter was Master Sergeant Theodore Syphard. 

He explained to me that the Army had a department called the Army Security Agency in which 98% of the graduates from the Army Security Agency school went overseas.  And I would only have to serve three years and not four years like the Navy enlistment.  I was sold.

Me, leaving for Army Security Agency training school April 1960

By the time the Navy recruiter returned from lunch I had signed up to join the Army.  I didn't realize it at that time, but I had just chose a totally different direction which would affect the rest of my life, including where I live now in Delaware.

Now here is the irony of my choice. I went to the Army Security Agency school at Ft. Devens, Massachusetts for six months. I graduated sixth in my class of twenty-seven student/soldiers.  We could choose where we were assigned based on our standing in class.  The class before us had almost all foreign allocations.  Our class had an unusual number of stateside allocations.  There were only five foreign allocations. Two were in England, which I would have loved.  Of course they were both immediately chosen.  The other three were in Turkey.  I didn't want to choose that allocation because I had heard it was at a very isolated location in the mountains and they didn't have fresh milk.  Yes, that's what I said fresh milk.

Me (kneeling lower left) with my buddies Bill Allen, Dick Egan, Bob McCamley, Duane Often and Roland Hagerstrom at Army Security Agency school at Ft. Devens, Mass June 1960

Back then milk was my beverage of choice and I just couldn't imagine drinking powdered milk for the remaining two and a half years of my enlistment at a remote location in the mountains of Turkey.  

The remaining allocations were Ft. Meade, Maryland; Ft. Bragg, North Carolina; and Two Rock Ranch Arizona.  My best friend was Bob McCamley. I wanted to stay with him for my remaining two and a half years.  I told him I would choose Ft. Bragg so I could be with him.  He told me that he was going to choose the Ft. Meade, Maryland allocation (of which there was only one left) if I didn't choose it.  He wanted to choose Ft. Meade because it was close to his home in Norwood, Pennsylvania and he could go home every weekend.  Only later did I find out he wanted to go to his home because he was having an affair with a guy name "Phil", but that's another story for a future blog post.  I didn't even know my best friend was gay at that time, nor did he know I was gay.  

I didn't want to go to Ft. Bragg by myself (all that paratroop jumping, more "butch" stuff I wasn't prepared for) so I choose Ft. Meade, Maryland.  I went home almost every weekend (a two hour drive) instead of my best friend Bob.

  

He went to Ft. Bragg and yes, had to qualify by jumping out of a plane.  God, can you imagine me doing that?

Thus, by choosing to join the Army, the direction of my life took a whole new course.  I made all new friends, including a new best friend, Ron Hampton. Seems, I was always able to make a best friend wherever I was at in life.  I've been lucky that way.  

For the next two and a half years I worked at the National Security Agency at Ft. Meade, Maryland.  I worked with all members of the armed forces and civilians.  I had a great job.  And I didn't have to jump out of a plane.

Live For Today, Plan For Tomorrow

Three friends of mine from elementary school - all successful and happy because they lived for today and planned for tomorrow -unlike some other people I know who bemoan their present state of affairs because they lived for today only

Recently I read a blog post of a friend who was bemoaning his present state of life.  I responded by making a comment by quoting that old tired "Annie" show tune "Tomorrow! Tomorrow! Things will be better tomorrow!"  Of course my friend quickly dismissed that optimistic statement by saying "I live only for today!" 

Oh my oh my.  How foolish.  I am so glad I didn't think "I live only for today" when I embarked on my Plan For Life when I was a mere 12 years old.  At that time I knew I wanted to own my own home.  That was my master plan.

My next plan was how to get it.  My mother told me that they could not afford to send me to college.  So, instead of taking the college preparatory courses in high school I took the commercial course.  I wanted to learn skills that could get me a paying job.  That I did.  I learned bookkeeping and typing. 

My next plan was to fulfill my obligation for the privilege of living in this country by joining one of the branches of our armed forces.  By doing this I would be fulfilling several goals in addition to my patriotic requirement to give somethign back to my country.  I would be eligible for the G.I. Bill when I got out of the service.  I took advantage of the G.I. Bill and got a college education paid for by the U.S. Government.

I also was eligible for free lifetime medical care, should I need it, by serving three years of activie duty.  That was also another wise choice that this 18 year old made.  There came a time in my life when I was in my fifties and I had no job and I needed medical care which the Veterans Administration provided to me free of charge.  I continue to use the Veterans Administration for my medical needs and I will testify that it is the best care I have ever received. 

Once I got out of the service I set my goals on working for a big city bank.  I accomplished that goal and worked at Girard/Mellon bank for twenty two years.  When the bank mergers became a way of life I was able to secure jobs with several other additional bank.  I made sure I worked at those banks long enough to be vested in their pension plans.  I now receive three separate pension checks each month in addition to my Social Secuity check. 

After I was established in my banking job I went after my next goal which was to own my own home.  I did not want to spend the rest of my life renting a house like the way I grew up.  I wanted to own my own home.  That I did.  I am now living in my third home that I purchased, the last two I built. 

None of these achievements would have been possibile if I just drifted through life "living for today" and not concerned about tomorrow.  Thank God.

I've made my fair share of mistake during my life and done a lot of stupid things but one thing I didn't do was to be so reckless as to "live just for today."  Thank God.

Anyone who does "live just for today" probably deserves to be where they are today.  Any sympathy I had for them was probably misplaced.

Fate

Fate:
the universal principle or ultimate agency by which the orderof things is presumably prescribed; the decreed cause ofevents; time: 


About four o'clock this morning as I lay in bed as I was arousing from my deep nighttime sleep I got to thinking of how much the course of my life has taken by chance circumstance.


I am not a religious person.  Even though I was raised as a Christian in the Baptist faith, I was quickly dissuaded from that belief when I was about ten years old.  That was when I realized that the formal church had damned me for eternity because I was homosexual. I knew something was wrong because that was the way I was born.  Thus, at only ten years old I lost faith in "man made religion".  


However, I do believe in Fate.  Some may call Fate a Guardian Angel.  I do believe that my life has been Guided.  By whom or why, I don't know exactly why.  Maybe I'll find that out when I die.  I doubt it though.  I think when you die you enter a giant Nothingness.  The only thing that makes halfway sense to me is reincarnation but that's another whole blog posting.  In fact, that subject is a book.


What I think of is how drastically different my life would have been if not for some chance happenstance.  


I'll give you an example.  My life was pretty routine for the oldest of three sons of a truck driver father and office cleaning mother during the Fifties.  We were poor but so were many of my peers.  My life and circumstance wasn't a whole lot different from most of my classmates except that I was homosexual (even if I didn't know what that meant at that time).  However this blog posting isn't about my homosexuality.  It is about how my life took a life altering turn down a road due to what seems now like an accident of time.


After I graduated from high school I decided to join the Navy.  At that time I knew I didn't want to get drafted into the Army because I didn't want to shoot anybody or get shot at.  Also, I wanted some control over my fate.  And, I liked the Navy uniforms.  Such is the thinking of a 17 year old straight (well I wasn't "straight" but I lied) out of high school.  


A few days after graduation in June of 1959 I make the trip to the Post Office in Coatesville, Pennsylvania and go down to the basement where all the service recruiters each had a desk.  I was asked who I wanted to see. Without hesitation I said "Navy."  


There were four desks in the basement room.  One for each branch of the service:

Army

Marines

Air Force

Navy

The Army was out.  I would have to learn to shoot somebody and be shot at.  Definitely a "No!"

The Air Force was out.  I didn't like their uniforms.

The Marines was definitely out.  I took one look at the bulldog faced Marine recruiter and knew without a doubt that I DID NOT WANT  TO GO THERE.  I surely would break my fingernails.

The Navy was IN.  It was safe, and they had cool uniforms.  Plus, I love the water.  

So I sit myself down at the Navy recruiter's desk and we begin the process.  About an hour later my papers are completed and a date is set for me to return and sign my final enlistment papers  Ron was going to join the Navy for four years.  I left the recruiting station at the Post Office to take this news home to my family.  

About a week later I get a phone call to come in and sign my enlistment papers for the Navy.  I make the trip to the Coatesville Post Office again.  I arrived around noon at the Navy recruiter's desk in the Post Office basement.  He wasn't there.  I was told my the Army recruiter (who sat at the desk across from the Navy recruiter) that he was at lunch.  

While I sat waiting for the Navy recruiter to come back from lunch, the Army recruiter started a conversation with me.  As I remember he was a handsome, friendly man.  Of course he had my full attention.  He asked me "Why are you joining the Navy?"  I told him "I want to see the world."  I didn't want to tell him that I liked their uniforms.  I knew he would think that was a silly reason and I didn't want him to think I was that shallow (even though I am and still am to this day.) However I did him that I didn't want to be in a combat unit, which was absolutely true.  I faint at the sight of blood.  Wuss that I am.  If I was in combat I would be like those fainting goats.  I would not be a good combat soldier

He told me that the Army had a program that I could join that is "99% guaranteed" that I would "see the world" plus I would only have to serve three years.  And..........I wouldn't have to serve in a combat unit.  Well, this sounded pretty good to me.  Only three years?  No combat.  No shooting or getting shot at.  Sounded good to me!

By the time the Navy recruiter came back from lunch, I was now sitting at the Army recruiter's desk having a new set of enlistment papers filled out.  The blond haired Navy recruiter gave his friend the dark haired Army recruiter a friendly, chagrined look that said "Okay, you won this time."  I sensed that this wasn't the first time that this has happened.  I felt a little guilty but I also felt that I had made the right decision.  

Thus, by this purely chance circumstance I choose a road that would forever change my life.  

If not for the Navy recruiter being out to lunch that day and the Army recruiter persuading me to join the Army, I would not have the friends that I have today.  I would not be with my life partner of the past forty-six years.  I would not be living in Delaware.  I would never have worked in the banking industry for almost forty years.  In fact, I probably would not be alive today.  

On that warm June day in 1959 my life changed forever just because the Navy recruiter was out to lunch.  

Pure chance?  I think not.  Maybe an angel was watching over me.  

My guardian angel.

Private Ronald W. Tipton 1960