Friday, January 25, 2013

Friends - A Bad Week

Me waiting at Dover Subaru yesterday for my Forester oil change


Hi folks.  I had several ideas for unique and interesting postings but I'm just not up to it after events of the past week and the one BIG upcoming event of Monday, undergoing a prostate biopsy procedure.  I've written about this before and won't go into it again here but it is one my mind and affecting my mood and enthusiasm.  I was supposed to get this procedure last year but changed my mind but have decided to do it this year just to rule out any possibility that I have prostate cancer.

So here are some of my random thoughts are things bothering me right now.  


My cousin Jana - I doubt if I'm violating her privacy by posting this picture of her with her cat

Notice that the picture of the cat I had at the top of this blog is now gone.  That's because it was a picture I took of a former friend's cat.  He sent me an e-mail stating that I post "everything online."  Well actually, I don't post "everything online" but he did say I was violating his privacy by posting a picture of his cat. He has a every right to do that so I took the photo down and replaced it with my dog Horace the day we got him as a puppy in 1982.  Bill is holding him in his lap.  I can post this photo because Bill doesn't think I'm "violating his privacy."  Notice that I mention "former friend." I know where his attitude is coming from.  It's coming from another former friend who was ended our friendship because he took offense to something I said on one of my previous blog posts.  I think it was something about me not giving advice in the future when asked for it because my advice is rarely if ever taken.  He took offense and sent me an e-mail saying "Sorry I wasted your time....bye."  Sort of a flimsy excuse to end a friendship don't you think?  I did too.


Me with my friend Bob's cat - I don't I'm violating his privacy by posting this picture of his cat 

I sent an e-mail back to my former friend and told him I removed the picture that so violating his privacy.  I also told him to stop reading my blogs if he is so offended.  I also suggested to him to tell my other former friend (who is a friend of his) to stop reading my blog if it so offends him.  What is it with these people?  


My friend Larry with his cat - have I violated your privacy Larry?

So you see folks.  It's been a bad week. Someone I liked a lot stood me up for a lunch date that he requested, thus giving me the reality check that apparently my friendship wasn't as important to him as his was to mine.  A couple of other guys I thought were friends are offended by what I post to my blog.  I'm not in a good place this week.  


My brother Isaac and "Bobby", my one and only cat - 1954 - I didn't ask Isaac's permission to post this photo but the cat was mine so I guess it's okay to post this picture

I have a couple of relatives on my Facebook page who are Righties and testing my patience with their gun-toting, Hate Obama postings into unfriending them.  Then to top everything off some douche bag hijacked my Twitter account and sent spam to all my Twitter followers.  

I think part of why I don't feel well now is that I had to take stop taking aspirin a couple of weeks ago prior to this biopsy.  I am on a baby aspirin regimen because I almost constantly have a dull, throbbing headache.  This week has been especially bad.


My Mom with her "bedwarmer" (Molly) - Mom never minded me posting photos of her cats and I never knew anybody more private than my Mom - go figure

Some people have asked me "What is the secret to your long relationship with Bill?"  You know what it is folks?  The answer is very easy.  Bill respects me.  Bill likes me, warts and all.  Bill likes me as I am.  He's not a hateful, spiteful, controlling, jealous, and selfish person.  He thinks I'm important.  And I feel the same way about him.  Everyday I count my blessings that I found someone like Bill because I would hate to think of what my life would have been like with some of the so-called "friends" I've had in my life.  I have acquaintances, not friends.  I had better realize that then I won't get my feelings hurt the next time my friendship is taken for granted.  I admit it, I'm too sensitive.  I go overboard.  I will try to correct that weakness in the future.  

I do have a few good friends (not counting my blogger friends who are in a different category).  Ironically they are friends from my high school days and from my former life at Girard Bank.  They know who they are (all four of them - yes, I can count them on one hand). They know me.  They accept me just the way I am.  They do not try to control me.  They like me.  I know them and like them.  They also are not perfect like I am but I accept them as they are.  I have tried to accept my newer "friends" they way they are but without much success.

Ironically the friend who stood me up to lunch asked for the date because he wanted to know how our (me and Bill) "open" relationship worked.  It's simple, when Bill asked me to move in with him back in 1964 I turned him down.  I told him "I'm still going to go out and I don't want anyone controlling me."  He said he understood and would never try to limit or control a "22 year old".  He said that was the fastest way to end a relationship. He was right, that is the fastest way to end a relationship with me, start dictating to me how to live my life.  Doesn't work with me folks.  Maybe it works with someone else and maybe they even prefer to live that way but I would never accept a relationship where someone controlled my life.  Nor do I control Bill's life.  We come and go as we please.  This is what works for us.  And it's not all about sex either.  When some hear the word "open relationship" they think we're out there swinging from the chandeliers.  I wish.  No friends, what "open relationship" means to us is that one doesn't control the other.  Yes, I can have friends outside our relationship.  I can even have romantic friends.  So what?  None of them ever lasted nor did I expect them too.  The initial physical attraction always wears off then it's the character of the person and in all my years I have yet to find anyone to match Bill's love for me.  And I have never loved anyone like Bill.  No matter what we will always be together because he understands me and I understand him.  

So this time next week I hope I'm in a better frame of mind.  Had to purge today though.  Bad week.  


Me at the dentist earlier this week.  That went well - no cavities!



20 comments:

  1. Ah, what a tangled web these evil blogs weave!

    I used to annoy the hell out of people long ago when I had a blog on AOL (AOL eventually did away with blogs and abandoned us). Fortunately I haven't annoyed very many people lately (at least I don't think I have....).

    I can't imagine ANYONE getting pissed off for having their cat's picture posted on a blog. That's being unduly sensitive.

    In retrospect, you did have a very bad week and your need to purge is understandable. Rest up this weekend - and I sure hope all will go well on Monday.

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    1. Jon,

      Always good to hear from you. Your comments are always right on target. It seems whenever I write something I manage to annoy somebody. Of course I would like to please everybody and not upset anybody but I am slowly coming to the realization that if I'm going to write an honest blog I am bound to annoy somebody in this world of duplicitous and mendacious people. I don't lie, simple as that. Of course out of respect for some people, I try to be discreet. Occasionally I get caught up in what I'm writing about and slip up but I always will hear from the offended party. Oh my, "can't have that on-line." And the sensitivity about not posting a picture of his cat? That is about the silliest thing I've heard of in a long time. For Chrissake, get a life Louise.

      Ron

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  2. truth - we blogger people ARE in our own little world, aren't we?

    and I would not care if you posted a picture of my pussy(cat)! some people are nothing but "pearl-clutchers"; say BOO to them and they get all butthurt offended. life is too short for that shit!

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    1. Anne Marie,

      "nothing but pearl-clutchers".....perfect description! What a bitchy, touchy lot. I misspoke when I said he was a friend. He was just someone I knew who attended the occasional weekly breakfast gathering and annual Thanksgiving dinner. I assumed these were nice people because they were all gay but I was wrong. None of them were my friends, never did anything for me except to either try and put the make on me or try and tear me down. I don't need them. Good riddance. Now I know why I stopped going to those functions years ago. Sometimes it takes me a while to realize that some people don't always act in your best interest.

      Ron

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  3. Ron,

    Nope, wasn't bothered by my picture. Kerouac grumbled a bit -- didn't think it was his best side. You're a writer, Ron. As I told you yesterday, if you're a writer you have to get a tough skin. No matter what you say, some one will probably get offended. People get too darn offended at every little thing anymore anyway. It's like everyone is a little child running to mommy because Ronnie or whoever said something naughty. You'll never please everybody even if you try, so just be honest to yourself. Most times if somebody feels offended it is their problem, their weakness, their lack of self-image and inner strength. Grow up, Americans. Anyway, any man who can smile in a dentist chair is a better man than I.

    Lar

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    1. Lar,

      You're right, a writer has to develop a tough skin. However, I am sorry that I caught Kerouac at his bad side. I'll try to do better next time. Give him my apologies and ask him to please not to report me for offensive behavior.

      So many touchy people these days Lar. This person who was so offended wasn't really a friend anyway. Just someone I knew who attended some of the weekly breakfasts and the annual Thanksgiving dinner. I stopped attended those functions a few years ago because most of the guys (all of them actually) weren't very nice. A selfish and insular lot. Never did anything for me. I think they're jealous an that's what drives their negative energy towards me. I don't need them.

      Ron

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  4. People are so touchy. i could see someone getting annoyed if you put their picture on your blog without permission, but a picture of their cat?
    That's silly.
    I had the same Twitter hack/spam too. Changed my password and it all seems fine now.

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    1. Bob,

      You're exactly right when you say "....but a picture of their cat? That's silly." And you're right. It's just silly. I am careful with whose picture I put on my blog. I know some people get freaked out having their picture on a GAY GUY"S BLOG ....OMG! Ironically, mostly it's gay guys who are still in the closet if you can believe it this day and age. Whatever, I respect their wishes to remain in the closet.

      First time I got hacked Bob. It was the Twitter account.

      Ron

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  5. Hey! I'm really sorry you had a crappy week. I tried connecting on FaceTime this morning, but couldn't get through. Please keep us posted on how things go Monday.

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    1. Hey Sean,

      Glad I hooked up with you this morning on FaceTime. You're a sweetheart.

      Ron

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  6. I am sorry Ron! But now you know who your good friends are. As you wrote, most of our "friends" are acquaintances. How many good friends do we have in life? It has been said that we can count them on 1 hand. You just have to move on; their loss!
    You will be fine on monday. At least, you will find out and it will bring you piece of mind. I hope all will go well.

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    1. Nadege,

      I felt guilty for my whiny post but I just had to purge myself of those negative feelings. You're right, most of us can count our real friends, friends who accept us just the way we are, on hand. I can count my real friend son one hand.

      Thanks for your good wishes on Monday. I'll know the results in a week to ten days.

      Ron

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  7. I don't think I'll ever figure out the people who read your blog/see your Facebook feed/etc. and then bitch about it. IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT, DON'T READ IT! Pretty simple to me. Maybe your former friend's cat was a very private cat, who knows, but a polite request to remove a picture that isn't mine is all that is required. I'll take it down. No problem. But to make a federal case out it, sheesh!

    I've given up on the advice business. I finally figured out that most asked for advice is unheeded, and most unasked for advice is unwanted. So I won't waste my typing time any more.

    I agree with you on the far rights driving me crazy. I had no idea I had so many "friends" who can't see the middle, are completely unwilling to compromise, and are downright insulting in the crap they post, which contributes nothing to the general conversation. I block a lot and unfriend a lot, too.

    Hope things get better! And I'll be sending positive energy your way for that biopsy. That does not sound like fun.

    Peace <3
    Jay

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    1. Jay,

      Everything you said in you comment I agree with. Why these guys keep reading my blog is beyond me. I sent him an e-mail back suggesting that if my blog so offends him then STOP READING IT! For Chrissakes. And the cat being "private"? That's just silly.

      I still give advice when asked but try to avoid doing it, However, I have a hard time not to because genetically wired to help. It goes against my grain to be unhelpful but I am wasting my time most of the time when asked for advice and to the trouble to give advice and it is unheeded.

      These Right Wing Nut Crazies, I went through eight years of my Mother and brother blasting me about "Your Clinton" every time I visited their house when Bush was in office. Damn if I'm going to put up with that crap on my FB page. I either hide those message or unfriend them. I am constantly amazed at how stupid these people are. What do they want? Someone like Mitt Romney and his busines buddies running this country farther in the ground? I will alway vote Democratic if for not other reason than the Democrats don't discount me as an American citizen because I am gay.

      Things will get better. One more day of this stress then I can go back on my aspirin regimen. My head constantly aches.

      Ron

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  8. What a hideous time you're going through, Ron. I can see there's an awful lot there you need to get off your chest, so it's all justified.
    I'm only surprised that that former friend didn't complain that you didn't asked his lovely pussy for permission! At least you know who is NOT your friend. But you've already cut him out anyway - and good riddance too!
    Very good luck on Monday, when I hope we'll be reading that you're feeling chipper.

    Btw: The doggie at the top is a fine substitute - but, even though I hate to pull out one cat for special mention (for fear that it looks like I don't think so much of the others) isn't your friend Bob's grey pussy a real beauty? Wow! So handsome!

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    1. Ray,

      What I think is going on with my former "friends" (not really friends, just some gay guys who I met at a communal Thanksgiving dinner and occasional breakfast get together) is a combination of jealousy and just old queen busybody bitchery. Not all gay people are nice people. Plenty of petty, selfish, small minded guys among the rainbow crowd. I'm an open, honest guy and I think that drives some of these old closet queens crazy. I'm done with them. They add nothing to my life.

      Ron

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  9. I cant decide if it is funny or sad these "so called" former friends.
    I guess my favorite quote lately applies."I imagine one of the reasons people cling to their hates so stubbornly is because they sense, once hate is gone, they will be forced to deal with pain."
    - James Baldwin

    BTW .... anytime you want to violate mine or babygirls privacy let me know. I look forward to especially the picture from your past and your minical focus on detail.


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    1. Roger,

      They really aren't friends in the true sense of the word. They are just some gay guys I met at the occasional breakfast get together and Thanksgiving dinner. They've never done anything for me as a friend would. All they know how to do is bitch and complain and tear down. Jealousy is also involved. I don't need them.

      Ron

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  10. It was good to see you smile in the end.

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    1. Dr. Spo,

      I do have to see the humor in this situation. This falls under the category of "There is no fool like an old fool." I set myself up and got my comeuppance. I should have know better and learned my lesson. On the good side, he did apologize and I believe his apology was sincere. That's good enough for me.

      ron

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