I Treated Myself Today With A Visit To Millsboro, DE

 Bill and I used to enjoy our trips to B.J.'s Wholesale in Millsboro. 

I remember the last time I took the trip with him, I knew it would be our last trip. 

Bill enjoyed those trips because he got to spend more one on one time with me. It's a long trip to Millsboro. Takes about forty-five minutes each way. It's also a pleasant trip through the Sussex Country countryside. 

When I go to B.J.'s I always stop in the nearby Petsmart store. I like to see what cats are up for adoption. Oh how I would like to adopt one (or two) but it is not to be. I'm too old to adopt a pet. For one reason I can hardly take care of myself let alone a pet. And I need my sleep and I would get much sleep with a cat. I already tried that and it didn't work. I had a cat for one and a half weeks, and although we bonded, I had to give her up mainly because I was afraid Bill or I would trip over her and I couldn't afford to let that happen. At the beginning of this blog is my latest visit. If I won the Power Ball I would open a cat sanctuary. I love cats. Even if I got a cat, I live alone and I fully expect another visit to the hospital is in my future. So I just make do with visits to Petsmart.

I knew the traffic would be heavy today but it was heavier than I had expected. I do not like to travel in heavy traffic but southern Delaware has grown so much in the past ten years, this is becoming the norm.

This is what I got at B.J.'s today. Super expensive Panera soup ($15.96) but good. I did get $2.00 off. Just a year or so ago I was able to buy Panera soup for $8.00. They have doubled in price.

Tide powder soap. That's gotten more expensive now too, $32 for the box. Remember, B.J.'s is wholesale. Wow. 

Also some strawberries. I was going to get peaches but they are off the chart expensive and it's always a roll of the dice to actually have them ripen. Usually they're mealy and not juicy at all. They look like peaches but they're Frankenstein Fruit. Just like those tomatoes you buy in the winter. They look like tomatoes but they have zero taste. 

I found those Portuguese rolls! I love Portuguese rolls and they are reasonable. Only $4 .99 for ten rolls! Much cheaper than rolls that I buy at Food Lion or Weiss Markets and they have that unique Portuguese taste that I love. I never did like Wonder bread, even as a kid. Tasted like nothing. You're chewing air. But I love Portuguese rolls which I discovered in the Seventies during my many trips to Provincetown, Mass. which has a large Portuguese immigrant population. 

Another plus I found that pumpkin roll. I like to have a treat before I go to bed and I find this annual fall treat pumpkin roll hits the spot perfectly. At this time of my life I don't even like the cakes I make myself. I've lost the taste for many things I used to love. I also like that bag of mildly (some say "plain") seasoned frozen chicken. I'm not into cooking much these days but I do like to eat good food but not overly spiced and especially the one with all that garlic powder. I like garlic but garlic powder makes me sick. 

And last but not least, I got a tub of hummus. That's always a bargain at B.J.'s. The regular stores charge $5 for a small container of hummus. I can get this party size container for $5. I eat hummus every day. I love hummus. My digestive system loves hummus too.

Just that little shopping cart cost me $98. And this at a wholesale store! 

Figure it out folks, I'm living on a fixed income now. The prices keep going up. I'm starting to feel the squeeze. And here I thought the Orange Menace was going to bring the prices down. Of course I am being facetious (flippant). 

Other than the bumper to bumper traffic, today's trip was well worth it. But I do miss Bill riding shotgun. We used to have many such trips together. However, I still sense that he was with me today. In spirit.

Alone

I don't want to be alone.  Bill went to the VA this morning.  That is usually a half day affair because the Wilmington VAMC is 89 miles way from where we live in southern Delaware.  Bill catches the American Legion Post 28 van at 6 am in the morning.  There are other vets in the van.  They all have appointments in the morning at the VA.  Usually the appointments are finished at 11 or 12 pm then they all load into the van and take the hour and a half trip back to their homes in Sussex County, Delaware.

When Bill goes on these trips to the VA in Wilmington is the only time I am alone in the house.  Bill is always here.  I kid him about it but I am glad he is here all the time because I don't want to be alone.

In a way I relish the time he is away because I can do things I normally wouldn't do when he is here.  This morning I shampooed all the rugs in the house.  What a job that was!  I'll hear it from him but I dare not shampoo rugs when he is here because I'll never hear the end of it.  So I take my opportunities where I can.

Bill and I have been living together since February of 1965. Prior to Bill I lived by myself for a couple of years in Coatesville, PA.  I had an efficiency apartment.  I was on my own.  I didn't have to explain anything to anybody.  I came and went as I pleased.  And I was very lonely.  I was a Lonely Boy.

Then along came Bill.  He used to visit me in my apartment on the weekends from his home in New Jersey which was two hours away.  Every weekend he would visit me.  Then the trips became he would pick me up and take me to his apartment in Pennsuaken, New Jersey.  Yes, he would make the trip to Coatesville, PA to pick me up, take me to his apartment, then take me back to Coatesville, then drive home.  Who else would do that for me?  I have that answer...NO ONE.

Eventually Bill asked me to move in with him.  After some reluctance I agreed.  It was the best decision I ever made in my life.  Of course over the past forty-seven years of living together (in two apartments and three houses), I have thought about living by myself.  At times it seemed attractive but when it actually happens, like this morning, I realize I don't want to live alone.

Bill and I are at the age now where that one of us might be living alone sometime in the future.  It will probably be me because Bill is 83 and I'm 70 years old.  Neither one of us are spring chickens.

I think about the possibility of living alone more often these days that I did in my Carefree Youth.  To be very honest, it scares the hell out of me.  Oh sure, I could find someone to live with me but there will never be another Bill.  No one who cares of me the way he does nor someone I would care for.  At my age I'm a prime Sugar Daddy target or another single Old Guy.  Neither will work with me.  You know what they say about us old guys being set in their ways?  IT'S TRUE!  I could never live with anybody else.  Never.

So here I am, wondering what the future will bring.  I guess I'll have to get a Little Buddy like a cat or a Pomeranian dog.  Yes, that's what I'll do.  Being alone sucks.

My friend Larry yesterday on FaceTime with one of his "friends", Canterbury the Cat
I'll ask him if he has a spare cat when that time comes

Musings on a Hot and Humid August Sunday

The oppressive heat and the humidity continues heavy in the air on this August Sunday in lower Delaware, bringing outside activity to a halt. I would love to take my daily walk but I know when I return I will be drenched in sweat. I’ve already taken one shower today. I don’t feel a need to increase Tidewater’s (our local water supply company) profits anymore than I have already this summer.

Bill and I took a ride up to Milton this morning. I was out of strawberries for my breakfast of corn chex cereal. I decided to swing on my Pepper’s Nursery. Not much activity going on their either. I purchased a large flowered pot to transplant my poinsettia flower which I’ve been coddling along in a succession of ever bigger pots since I purchased it as a $1.29 orphan this past Christmas. By Christmastime this year I should have a monster poinsettia to celebrate brighten up my sun room on the cold days of winter, which will surely come.

Mr. Pepper had an obituary and a picture of his longtime faithful companion Rocky (a Bernese Mountain dog big as a person) by his cash register. I had noticed that his big friendly dog was no longer around but I was reluctant to ask why. The obituary said his friend and longtime companion died at 18 years old on June 18th. Mr. Pepper told me that Rocky was born on the floor only a few feet from where I was standing. He said Rocky always enjoyed meeting customers in the store and thought he worked there. I told Mr. Pepper that Rocky probably thought the store was his home and all these people were coming to visit him. I asked Mr. Pepper if he was going to get another dog and he said “No.” He said that he could never replace Rocky. He also said that he still gets emotional when he talks about Rocky and that he would never get over the loss of his friend.

Bill and I have had a total of five dogs over the years. They were all Pomeranian. They’re all gone now and I doubt if we’ll ever get another one. I see the dogs up for adoption from the local SPCA chapter in the local newspaper all the time. I would love to rescue one of these loving critters but I doubt if I ever would again. We both feel the same way; we could never replace our longtime friends

An old and longtime friend of mine who lives near Pittsburgh recently lost his much loved Sheltie. He and his wife went a while without a dog. However, after a short time they decided their home was no longer a home without the welcoming presence of a canine friend. He got another Sheltie, a beauty called Barbara Jean. In fact, he liked her so much he and his wife also adopted Barbara Jean’s half brother, Andy. They now have a happy and living home again. That is one approach. It has been proven in many studies that having a pet increases our long term health. However, I don't know if we're ready take that big step again.

Many times when I post a blog like this I don’t know what subject I’m going to write about. I just start and let my mind take me to where it wants to go. On this muggy August day this is where it went, a remembrance of the special relationship that some of us are privileged to have with our canine friends.