Homophobia Alive and Well

Me at Gay March in Washingtoon D.C. October 4, 2009
Out of the closet BIGTIME

I have three blogs.


One of my blogs is this one, "Retired in Delaware".  This blog is my personal journal.


My second blog is one for my former high school class, called "Downingtown High School Class of 1959".


My third blog is for my family genealogy called "Tipton Tales and Trails."


As regular readers of this blog know my profile list me as a gay man.  When I first posted my profile I hesitated to publicize the fact that I was gay, lest that I offend some readers of my blog.  That hesitation lasted for about four seconds because I thought "This is who I am, if a reader of my blog is offended then that person is a homophobe and I do not want them reading my blog. "  

I haven't had a problem identifying myself as gay in my profile.  That changed today.  Homophobia raised its ugly head again today.  


Today I did a mass mailing of my "Tipton Tales and Trails" blog to a new mailing list that I obtained from the new president of the Tipton Family Association of America.  His name is John Parrish and he has resurrected the TFAA and started to publish a newsletter.  Ten years ago I was the TFAA editor of the newsletter.  When I published the newsletter, I did not identify myself as gay.  It wasn't necessary.


This morning I wanted to help John by publishing his newsletter to my blog.  I also included the mailing list he sent to me.  One thing I neglected to remember, was that my profile on my "Retired in Delaware" blog also appears on the profile on my "Tipton Tales and Trails" profile.  Much of the mailing list for the TFAA newsletter is in the south.  Yes folks, many of my Tipton relatives are conservative southerners. I hesitate to paint all southerns with the broad brush of gay bigotry but we all know that many of those in the South feel quite comfortable exposing their discrimination against gays.


Thus it was with some sadness that I received this response from this person who I e-mailed a link to my "Tipton Tales and Trails" blog this morning.

"Who gives a rat’s ass about your sexual preference!!! Otherwise, it’s pretty interesting."


You know folks, as long as I've been on the receiving end of this kind of hate, I never get used to it.  


I'm reminded of a quote that Charles Tipton, my predecessor as editor of the TFAA Newsletter always had in quotes on the top of each edition of his newsletter:

"You can pick your nose but you can't pick your relatives"

As regular bloggers know, your profile appears the same on all blogs that you own.  I don't have the ability to "censor" my blog on "Tipton Tales and Trails."  However, even if I did I wouldn't.  I am gay.  I think it is pathetic that some people in this day and age still feel uncomfortable when confronted with the fact that some of their fellow human beings are gay. 

Ron, out and proud Washington D.C. March, October 4, 2009

I came out of the closet in 1963 and I never intend to go back, no matter how many people I upset. In fact, I think it's time for more gays to come out like me and to make more of these gay haters expose their ignorance and bigotry.  

Me with my gay friends at the Washington D.C. March
We're all out of the closet -never to look back!

While I'm a bit upset this morning (and after a good morning too), I feel like I accomplished a lot more than I intended to today.  I exposed another bigot.  

I'm tempted to send an e-mail back but I know that won't do any good to persuade this ignorant bigot to change his views.  I've seen that movie and I know how that ends.  Unless someone in their family comes out, they will go to their grave with all that hate.  

Sad isn't it?

Rules of Life

Life is as serious as it is and especially lately for me. My Mom and my best friend are in the early stages of dementia.  Some of my good friends are undergoing grueling cancer treatments.  And I was recently the target of homophobic hate on my Facebook account from the husband of a friend of mine (who is probably no longer my friend, sad to say.) 

As long as I live I will never get used to the mindless cruelty of some people just because of who I am and the fact that I don't live my life as they deem I should. But, I will attempt to put that behind me and look forward to the friends that I do have that I care about and they care about me.

Yesterday I had a very nice lunch with a new friend.  That helped to bring me out of my recent doldrums.We had a few laughs, enjoyed each other's company then we were on our way.  Yesterday's lunch was a delightful interlude in an otherwise drab and dreay day.  I needed that.


Yesterday I also discovered that Facebook is a great new way to get in contact with the newer generation of my relatives. That will help me greatly in keeping up to date my genealogical family tree as well as arrange a family reunion this summer. I love working on my family genealogy.  That is my lifetime task from which I receive a great deal of satisfaction.  I would much rather spend my time in this manner than responding to someone placing his hate on me.  Love conquers hate everytime. 



I have much to be thankful for. I have good health. I have good friends and I have a wonderful, caring family. I have a nice home and a loving and caring life partner in Bill. I cannot and will not let the hate of those few people who harbor hatred towards me because I am a gay man deter me from happiness.




Below is my humor of the day. I promise my future postings will be more upbeat. I post my life as it happens. Hopefully there won't be too many more incidents like this in my life. I thought they all disappeared with the enlightenment of the past few years. I was wrong. Here is the humor:



Rules of Life They Don’t Teach in School



1. Never give yourself a haircut after three margaritas.


2. You need only two tools. WD-40 and duct tape. If it doesn’t move and it should, use WD-40. If it moves and shouldn’t, use the tape.


3. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.


4. If he or she says that you are too good for him or her – believe them.


5. Never pass up an opportunity to pee.


6. Be really nice to your friends. You never know when you are going to need them to empty your bedpan.

Hate

I recently deleted a post about someone who invaded my Facebook account and directed his homophobia at me out of respect for a friend of mine whose account he used.  However, I want this person to know he doesn't control my life.  I also want this person to know that he should leave me alone to live my life as I choose.  I don't need him or his view of religion to tell me how to live my life.  Leave me alone.  Respect my privacy as I have shown respect for your family by removing my original post.

Like an unchecked cancer, hate corrodes the personality and eats away its vital unity. Hate destroys a man's sense of values



and his objectivity. It causes him to describe the beautiful as ugly and the ugly as beautiful, and to confuse the true with the false


and the false with the true.

Martin Luther King