He's confused. When he's in the hospital like this he sometimes thinks he is at home. I visited him twice today. This morning at around ten o'clock. I left shortly before lunch. I told him I would be back this afternoon which I did. When I went into his room he was very mad at me. He wanted to leave and wanted to know where I went. I told him I went home like I told him. He didn't remember. Then he said "Something is going on. Why can't I go home now?"
I tried to calm him down. I could see where this was going. He was going to be obstreperous with me and the hospital staff like he was at the rehab facility a couple years ago when he was released from the ICU unit of Thomas Jefferson University Hospital in Philadelphia. One time I visited him at the rehab facility he was so drugged up he could hardly stand or talk. I don't want to go down that road again.
I apologized to the nurses around his station and then went back in to try and calm him down. I think I made some progress but I still couldn't bring him home today, although I would love too. But he had an intravenous in his arm with Heperian (blood thinner). At least they took off feeding him intravenously. He also has trouble swallowing and they want to check that. He can only eat a liquid diet and oatmeal with I ground to a fine powder. He won't eat the hospital food.
The nurse practitioner told me that he has blood clots in his lungs and still some in his leg. Bill will be on blood thinners the rest of his life. He'll always be cold (here we go again). He has these land mines (blood clots) in his lungs which could result in a stroke at any time.
Right now I just want to get him home. I miss him so much. Even though it is very stressful being a full-time caregiver, I would rather have Bill here at home with me where he feels safe and comfortable. We all have an END. I hope and pray when Bill's time comes, he can be at home with me.
Bill waiting for his vascular surgery early this evening
Bill is in the hospital tonight.
Earlier this evening he had emergency vascular surgery to remove massive blood clots from his right leg.
Two nights ago Bill woke up to a tremendous pain in his right leg. I noticed the next morning his right leg was swollen. I decided to monitor it. This morning it was worse, much worse. I called the VA to get authorization to go to the Urgent Care unit in Lewes. They took one look at his leg and told me he had to go to the Emergency Room right away. They took us right away.
We spent all day in the Emergency Room. I ate the hospital food (I was famished) because Bill couldn't. He has trouble swallowing. They said they could do the surgery tonight which we both agreed to.
I left Bill and the hospital and returned to our darkened home. It's always so empty when Bill isn't here. As much as I complain about being a full-time caregiver without a break (two years tomorrow) I sorely miss Bill when he isn't here. It breaks my heart to leave him all alone in the hospital. He depends so much on me not only for care but for emotional support. I know he will spend a sleepless night tonight but he will be home tomorrow.
Ever wonder what a stay at home full time caregiver does when he (or she) is sick?
Do they take a day off?
Call into work and tell the boss they can't come in because they're sick?
What we do here at Casa Tipton-Kelly is spend most of the day in bed.
My "illness" was the usual runny nose. I don't know what causes it. Could be allergies. Usually I can catch it in time by taking my allergy pills. Yesterday that didn't work.
After I got up in the morning and got Bill up and gave him is medications and breakfast I went right back to bed with my runny nose and achy body.
I drifted in and out of sleep until lunchtime. I wasn't too hungry, a sure sign that I was sick. Usually my appetite is very good. Yesterday was chicken soup day and boy did that soup ever taste good. My body said "Thank you! Thank you!" when I finished that can of Progresso Chicken Noodle soup. I was going to make my cabbage veggie hamburger soup but I just didn't have the energy to peel all those veggies. That soup is easy to make once you slice up the onion and prepare the carrots and celery. I'll make that soup today with my exclusive Tipton Potato Salad (I make the absolute best potato salad!)
Usually when I lie down when I get these runny nose attacks, my nose straightens itself out. Not yesterday. All day my nose drainage became progressively worse. After lunch I went to bed again. Didn't wake up until 5 PM. Time to feed Bill and give him his medications again.
After putting Bill to bed I went into my cozy home office and called my friend Don McK. on FaceTime. Still my nose was running like an open spigot. No getting away from it. I FaceTimed Pat and told him I was going to bed early, which I did. I didn't even have my usual evening snack. No appetite for it.
I went to bed around 10:30. Usually I don't go to bed until twelve or one o'clock. Early to bed last time and late getting up this morning to give Bill his every third day shower. And my nose isn't running now.
Time to make some Tipton Potato Salad and Hamburger Cabbage soup.
The name of the movie is "Bros" and I saw it last night on my Netflix DVD rental.
Oh, not that there hasn't been some excellent gay themed movies ("Brokeback Mountain", "Boys In The Band") but they all ended badly. Spoiler alert!
This one doesn't end badly. The gay characters don't kill themselves or get killed in the end. How refreshing! Even more refreshing this is actually a well written and well acted movie about gays.
Believe it or not straight folks, most gays aren't like the folks you've seen in "Will and Grace" episodes. "Jack" isn't your typical gay guy although he is funny (at times, his Cher impression is fantastic). But so often gay themed movies are played by straight actors. What's up with that? Are there no gay actors? Well we KNOW the answer to that question. Of course there are many gay actors, many still in the closet but the way our culture is now is that if an actor is gay most of the movie going public will not accept him (or her) in a straight role. Sad but true. The brutal truth, homophobia still reigns in the land.
Back to this movie. It has been SO LONG since I've laughed out loud at a scene in a movie and believe me folks, there are plenty of scenes in this movie to get you laughing. And for my gay followers, this is one of those rare movies that UNDERSTANDS US. You know what I mean. It's obvious it was written by gays and acted by gays. Here's a fact for my straight friends, nobody can laugh more at our (gay) foibles than gays ourselves. And this movie GETS it!
There are also some sweet tender moments in this movie as there should be in any ROM-COM movie.
Me (tall, slim guy far right with head turned) in Provincetown with my friends Gino and Bob circa 1979 - those were the days!
Another thing I liked about this movie is when they went to my favorite gay resort Provincetown, Mass. I was prepared to see scenes Toronto Canada. I remember how disappointed I was when I first saw that long ago "breakthrough" gay TV series "Queer As Folk". It was supposed to take place in Pittsburgh, PA, a city where I came out in the winter of 1963. Pittsburgh's downtown of Grant Avenue, Fifth Avenue, and Forbes Avenue isn't big. I worked at the Pittsburgh Hilton Hotel right on the Golden Triangle in the heart of downtown Pittsburgh. Try to imagine my immense disappointment when I couldn't recognize even one street scene of "Pittsburgh" in "Queer As Folk". I did some checking and sure enough, the series was filmed in, wait for it, TORONTO, CANADA! Thus it was with great pleasure when the story of "Bros" shifted to Provincetown, they actually filmed there! Downtown Provincetown isn't that big either and I actually recognized every scene, including the place where I used to stay in the summer of the Fabulous Seventies.
And one more thing I liked about this movie that didn't insult my intelligence like most movies and almost all of the lame gay movies I've seen over the years, was the sex scenes weren't gross. No swapping spit, sweaty limbs, grunts and groans. The only nipples you're going to see in this movie are men's nipples and after all folks, especially my gay friends, wasn't that our little secret all these years that the media never hid men's nipples? They don't in this movie either but they manage all the intimate scenes tastefully.
And of course there is an overall message in this movie. BE YOURSELF! Some may like you, some may not. SO WHAT! Just be yourself and who knows, you may find someone you likes you just as you are even if you aren't the mythical "California Blonde Swimmer", a fact which I never understood. The California Blonde Swimmer type never did anything for me. Troy Donahue? What was THAT all about? Rock Hudson didn't even turn me on and that was before he came out. Sure, he was very handsome. I saw that. Just like I could look at a beautiful woman but to arouse my hormones? Never worked. I like to get to know the guy I'm with. Of course looks comes into it but the personalty is Number One. I have to click with that personality. Lucky for me I found someone after all these years. We click.
After seeing a movie like this I've often thought my life could be made into a movie. Of course it would fail at the box office like this movie did. Yes, this movie failed at the box office even though is was rated in the 90% category by both critics and the audience who saw it. Let's face it folks. Not every movie can be about car chases and violence for thirteen year old boys. I find those movie very boring. Pat likes them though. I much prefer "Downton Abbey". Pat doesn't like "Downtown Abbey". He says it's boring "looking for Lady Mary's teapot." I get it Pat.
So if you want a good old fashion ROM-COM movie with genuine laughs and a few tender moments and a worthwhile message and an intelligent script and well acted, this movie is for you. Granted there are no "bankable" stars in this movie but I think you'll find the all the characters likable and most of all believable.
Hey guys, if you ever need a nice laid back band that plays great Sixties hits, it's the 45's! Of course I have a vested interest, my friend Pat is the bass player.
This new year's I didn't stay up to see the ball drop in New York's Time Square. Did I miss anything? No, I didn't miss anything. Anderson Cooper and Any Cohen silliness.
I am so happy that we didn't get the winter snowstorm that hit Buffalo New York and other parts of the country. Yesterday I mailed a birthday gift for Pat to his mailbox in Buffalo. That's as close as I hope I get to major snow this year I would mail Pat his birthday gift to him but the mailing cost is about half the cost of the gift and besides, the Canadian postal system is atrocious. Pat's still waiting for my birthday card. He received my Christmas card three weeks after I mailed it. Small potatoes I know in this world where Russia is still systematically destroying Ukraine and killing innocents.
I've been watching the Republican Clown Show where the insurrectionists are denying Kevin McCathy the Speaker of the House role which he so hungers after. I am thoroughly enjoying his humiliation and the self immolation of the Republican party even though this isn't good for our country. They all brought this on themselves by the Frankenstein monster they created by enabling the Orange Loser who resides in Mar-a-Lardo Florida.
Just got a call from Bill's audiologist. They have his remote control in for his hearing aid. Bill's cognitive abilities are significantly deteriorating. This morning I spent about an hour showing him how to turn on and off his new transistor radio that I got for him for his downstairs bedroom. I have one for him when he sits upstairs in his Archie Bunker chair in the sunroom. Wouldn't you know it the controls on that transistor are exactly opposite of the new transistor radio Of course. I have to tell you folks, I am getting so exhausted explaining common ordinary things over and over to Bill that he just can't seem to grasp. Things we take for granted, he just doesn't "get." I saw this cognitive decline in my late friend Bob Mc. It doesn't end well. I think I'm declining too. When I went into the kitchen this morning I saw where I didn't empty my dishpan from last night's meal. I always empty my dishpan and leave a clean sink. Last night I was upset about something else which, of course, I forget now. "Dishpan" you say? No folks, I don't use my automatic dishwasher. Not worth wasting all that water to just wash a few dishes. In fact I had the automatic dishwasher removed from our Philadelhia townhouse and used the extra space. Same thing at our Pennsylvania farmhouse, but I had to reinstall it because that was one of the things all protective buyers ask "Where's the dishwasher?" I guess it works if you have a family and sit down dinners but here at Casa Tipton Kelly, we never have a sit down dinner. Bill has his bowl for his oatmeal and I sit at the kitchen counter for my meal productions. I wash all dirty pans and dishes before I eat. My Mother never washed the dishes. I started washing dishes when I was eight years old. I can't stand to sit down and eat with dirty dishes in the sink and I'm certainly not going to collect dirty dishes, pans and utensils in an automatic dishwasher. Pat's the same way with automatic dishwasher. In fact Pat doesn't even use his stove or oven. He either uses his smoothie mixer or induction plate.
A couple of houses in the neighborhood just had new shingles put on their roofs. What? I checked my roof and see where one shingle had come off. I have my local handyman coming by this Saturday to put it back and clean out my gutters. I also am having someone come by next week to give me a new estimate on having my drain pipes buried so when it rains all that water isn't going around the foundation of our house. I had one drain taken care of that way last year but the new estimate caused by COVID parts delay almost double the price to do all our drain pipes (eleven in all). Hopefully I can now get a lower price. If not, then I don't get it done. Not working at the hotel for two years has left me very conscious of all expenses. One big expense I have is lawn care (over $2,000 a year). But I get so much enjoyment from our lawn I have to have a good lawn. Two years ago I had an army worm invasion that left our lawn looking like the landscape of Mars. Living with that just about put me under the lawn. I didn't realize how much I needed my lawn for my mental well being. This from a guy who grew up in second floor apartments. I always wanted to live in a place with a nice lawn. One of my few luxuries that I indulge myself in.
That and listening to deep house music on You Tube like I'm doing right now as I type this blog.
