The Passing of a Friend

My beautiful neighbor Barbara who passed away last night. I presented her with these beautiful gladiolus that I grew a few years ago. I told her "You're Miss America!" She accepted! Barb, thank you for being such a fabulous neighbor.

I'm taking a brief hiatus friends from my blog postings. The last week or two has been very hectic and I just haven't been in the mood for a bright and cheery blog posting. Then today, just a few minutes ago my neighbor informed me that his wife died last night. This was not unexpected but still it is a shock to the system when someone you know and like so well, is no longer with us. A piece of my life is gone.

These people (no names out of respect for their privacy) are the best neighbors Bill and I have ever had in our fifty-five years of living together. And the irony is that we are of totally differing political views. They hated Obama and Hillary and love Trump. And of course you know where I stand on Trump (Criminal in the White House that is destroying our democracy).  But even with our differences we loved and respected one another. More times than I can count my neighbor accompanied either Bill or me to the emergency room during our numerous visits, offering support to both of us.  One time she came down at 2:30 AM to pick me up at the emergency room when Bill had to stay in the hospital even though she was groggy on sleeping pills which she had taken earlier. 

So often I've told friends and co-workers how lucky I was to have them for our neighbors. Bill and I have had some doozy neighbors too but all was right in Heaven when we lucked out with these fine people for our neighbors.  Hardly a day went by that I didn't appreciate having them for neighbors. And she made the best beef stew too, which I could never quite get right when I tried to make her recipe.  She loved my crescent cookies. I made her some for her birthday in December and was going to make her some more. But last week when I stopped over to give her some of my old People magazines, her good friend and another neighbor was with her and gave me That Look. I knew immediately it wasn't a good time to visit. She was suffering from COPD (for several years) and that day was particularly bad. And as I said previously in this post, I expected the worst. But you know folks, when it actually happens, it's like a punch in the gut. I had the same feeling when I was informed of my father's death. I was never close with him but he was my father. When it sunk into me that I would never see him again, that he would never be part of my life again, I felt like someone just took all the air out of me. This is the way I felt when my neighbor told me his wife died last night.  She was such a part of my life, now no more.  

I have to be honest with you folks, the last several weeks I've been down (melancholy) because of the realization that Bill, at ninety-one years of age, is failing. Not in a drastically way but gradually his age is catching up with him. His eyesight is failing (macular degeneration) and I see a change in cognitive abilities. He's hard of hearing and easily confused. I've been thinking about the quandary I'm in. I'll be lost without him in my life but I don't want to die before him and leave him to face the world alone. He couldn't do it.  That's what has been on my mind a lot lately folks. That and the fact that my youngest brother is also in failing health, so much so that he can't even receive a visit from me and Bill.  I doubt if I'll ever see him alive again.  

I've been having weird dreams. I've been reliving memorable vignettes of my life, which sometimes sadden me. This past two weeks I've been sorting through some of my thousands of pictures and videos (over 100,000) on my computer. They're bringing back memories of happier and healthier times with friends, family and former co-workers who are now gone. I have to catch myself sometimes from slipping into a mild depression and lift myself up to look at all the good I have left in my life.  And I do have a lot left.

I will end this diatribe now. Writing is my therapy. Perhaps this wasn't the best time to write about the passing of my beloved neighbor but I had to do something before I lose it. 

Have a great day everyone!

Two good friends now gone, Barb with Wayne "The Cajun" Juneau. They are both at peace now and no longer suffering. I hope they are able to meet up wherever one goes when one passes from this life. I just know they will have a fabulous time.