Gay Marriage Likely To Go Before Supreme Court Within The Next Year

Me and Bill - 1972

Could it be possible? Could marriage equality, also known as "gay marriage", become  a reality in my lifetime?  Dare I even imagine?

Bill and I often talk about how far our country has come towards ending discrimination against gays and lesbians.  We never thought we would see this in our lifetime.

We remember all to well that it wasn't that long ago that we had to hide who we were for fear of our physical safety and economic survival.

This morning I read on Huff Post where Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg said that the Defense of Marriage Act would probably come up soon before the Supreme Court this year.  See here.

Last year Delaware passed a civil union law for same sex partners.  Initially Bill and I were going to rush down to the courthouse in Georgetown and get "hitched".  Then we thought, "This still isn't the real thing" and it isn't.  Delaware's civil union law is a second class "marriage" of same sex partners.  To us, it is not equal to a real marriage.  I'm reminded of what a friend of mine said a few years ago after he and his partner of 31 years ended their relationship.  A few years earlier he and his partner traveled to Canada with a lesbian couple and "got married."  After their breakup I asked him "Are you going to get a divorce now?"  His answer was "Oh that wasn't a "real" marriage. That was make believe."  

I think that says it all, those civil unions and all other arrangements that are designed to give same sex couples they are "married" but designed not to offend many heterosexual couples are "make believe."

Maybe, just maybe in our lifetime Bill and I can get married for real.  It's about time, this summer we will mark 49 years together as a couple.  What a nice 50th anniversary present, to get married.

Bill and me - 2011

Happy Anniversary!

Bill and Ron - 48 years today

Forty-eight years ago today, on a rainy Friday night at the Westbury Bar, a gay bar at the corner of 15th and Spruce Streets in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania I decided to go over to the other side of the bar and thank the man who had been sending me drinks for the past two months every time he saw me in the bar.

Bill Kelly - 1963 - the man who kept sending me drinks from the other side of the bar

I wasn't particularly attracted to this man even though he was very handsome.  He wasn't "my type."  Even though he had been trying to get my attention that he was interested in meeting me by sending me drinks via his friend Jerry the bartender, I was more interested in Jerry than I was him.  I especially wasn't interested in meeting this man because he was very popular in the Westbury and it was quite obvious that I was "next on his list."  I had no intention of just being another notch on his bed post.

Me, with cigarette in hand, at my efficiency apartment in Coatesville, just prior to going out to the Westbury bar with my friends Ron and Ed who came by to pick me up 

Usually when I went to the bar I was with my friends Ron and Ed.  However, this night for some reason I can't remember I was by myself.  I remember the first time that Jerry the bartender sat a drink in front of me and said to me "This is from the gentleman over there" which he indicated with a nod of his head.  I looked over and I saw this handsome man with a wide grin on his face and my first thought was "Oh no, I'm not that easy."  My friends and I had a chuckle over the whole situation because they too knew me and knew this situation was all wrong for me.  They knew I wasn't looking for an older man (he was 35 to my 22) and I definitely wasn't a pickup for a drink.

As the months went by, my erstwhile suitor would invariably send a drink my way, sometimes two a night.  He was unrelenting as we were by making fun of him behind his back.  Of course I took the drinks (I'm no fool and besides I had little money) but I had no plans to go any further than that.

Then, on this rainy Saturday night, July 3rd, 1964 my suitor sent me another drink.  My friends weren't with me and I did feel a bit guilty for never having thanked him for the many drinks he had sent over for the past few months.  I could at least be polite, that's the way my Mother raised me.  Believe me, I had no other intention than of just thanking him and moving back to my regular spot and looking for Mr. Right.

So I move from my "spot" (we gay guys all have our "spot" when cruising in gay bars) to the other side of the bar near the Skeet Ball machine which was his "spot."  He sees me coming towards him.  A small (knowing smile) creases his face.  I stop in front of him and say "Thanks for the drink." 


Now, I don't remember exactly what he said but what I do remember was he wasn't at all like I thought he would be, arrogant and pushy.  In fact he was pretty damn nice.  And he was even better looking in person.  Uh huh.  Well, well.  His name was Bill Kelly.  I decided to stay a while and chat.  He was interesting.

Me with a staged shot changing a flat (I don't know how to change a flat, are you kidding?) on our first road trip Skyline Drive, Virginia - 1964

Yes, I succumbed to his charms and did go him with him that night.  He lived in a garden apartment in Pennsauken, New Jersey. I lived a furnished efficiency apartment in Coatesville, Pennsylvania, 52 miles and an hour away from Pennsauken.

I stayed with him that weekend.  Bill drove me home to my apartment in Coatesville, Pennsylvania on Sunday.  I had no car. I had depended on my friends Ron and Ed for transportation to the Westbury Bar for my weekend outings looking for Mr. Right. That summer weekend my life changed forever.

For the next seven months Bill would make the one hundred mile round trip and pick me up at my apartment in Coatesville, PA on Friday to spend the weekend with him at his apartment in Pennsauken, NJ.  On Sunday he would make another one hundred mile round trip to return me to my apartment in Coatesville, PA.   Who else would do that for me?  No one.  Absolutely no one in this whole wide world.  I do believe I met my Prince Charming who treated me like a prince.  Every gay boy's dream come true. Mine just came true.  And has been true ever since, except for maybe a few little "bumps" here and there, for the past forty-eight years.

Me at our first house in Philadelphia - 1969 - our fifth anniversary

Sometime around Christmas of that year Bill asked me to move in with him.  I always wanted to get a job in Philadelphia and I told him that I would once I got a job in Philadelphia.  The following year in February, through the help of my friend Ron who worked at Girard Bank in Philadelphia, I got a job at Girard Bank.   I quit my job in Coatesville, left my apartment and moved in with Bill at the Penn Manor apartment complex where he lived in Pennsauken, New Jersey.  And as they say, "the rest is history."

Bill in the living room of our house in Philadelphia - 1969

So what have the past forty-eight years been like?  Well, to quote the first president Bush after he left office  and he was asked about his presidency he said "It's been quite a ride."  And indeed it has folks.

Bill Kelly, my friend/lover/partner/spouse of the past forty-eight years has literally been the best thing that has ever happened in my life.

Today, the anniversary of our meeting forty-eight years ago, finds us to both way past our prime.  In fact, we're both OLD MEN now.  But you know what?  We have a love that is undying.  I know I am one of the lucky few in this world to have been granted the blessing of meeting and sharing my live with someone who truly cares for me and someone I care for very much.  And to me friends, that is what life is all about. Love.

Bill's card to me this morning

Below are photos of Bill and me in 1951 when he was 23 years old and in the Army and stationed in Bamberg, Germany and I was a 10 year old third grader at the East Ward Elementary School. Can you imagine if I met this man when I was 10 years old?  Oh yes, I knew I was gay then and I would have definitely fallen head over heels in love with this man.  Twelve years later I did.

Bill, my Prince Charming - Bamberg, Germany - 1951
Bill was 23 years old and in the Army

Me - third grade East Ward Elementary School, Downingtown, PA - 1951 - 10 years old

A Time For Us

More movies!  This is a movie of the slides that Bill took when we went on our first road trip in 1966 to Atlantic City, New Jersey then points south which included Wilmington, North Carolina; Charleston, South Carolina; and then Toccoa, Georgia...Bill's hometown.  Are there a lot of pictures of me in this movie?  Uh...YES!  Remember, this was way back at the beginning of our relationship.  It was Bill's camera (I don't even think I owned a camera at this time) and he was quite enamored of me.  No excuses though, I LOVE seeing old pictures of moi!

The video starts out at our first home at the Penn Manor Apartments in Pennsauken, New Jersey and ends with us in the same apartment which I still remember the address:  3732A Herbert Avenue, Pennsauken, New Jersey.

The final picture is of me and Bill now.  Yes, we are OLD MEN now.  This July we will celebrate 48 years of partnership.  Hopefully we will be able to get officially married before we kick the bucket.

Enjoy the movie!