Ron's Health Check Update

Bill's shelf in our refrigerator. He only drank apple cider, loved whipped cream and chocolate milk. What do I do with these items now? Reminders of Bill all around Casa Tipton-Kelly

 Today I completed the last of two of my annual followups for health conditions my doctors have been monitoring.

Tuesday I saw my hematologist. Three years ago I had a bone marrow test (that was fun) to test my white blood cell count. My VA nurse practitioner thought I was border line for blood cancer. Last year I had a followup with my hematologist doctor. This year, after checking my labs he said "I don't want to see you again."  I told him "I like you Dr. D but that's good news that I don't have to see you again."

This morning I had my annual checkup (EKG) with my cardiologist. I've been seeing him for ten years now. The last few years he was monitoring a aneurysm that I had. Last year he said it mysteriously disappeared. Today, after checking my EKG results, he told me I'm doing fine and he'll see me again next year. He did remind me to keep exercising by walking which I will do as soon as I finish typing this blog.

How is my mental health doing during my grieving process for Bill? I'm still grieving but I feel more acceptance now. Especially since I now have the feeling that Bill's spirit has left Casa Tipton-Kelly after hanging around for about a week to make sure I didn't do something foolish. I did feel his presence but no longer. I feel that he is very happy now wherever his spirit is.

A few nights ago I was having a conversation with my friend Glenn M. of Palm Springs. Glenn had lost his long time partner Michael W. three years ago. His partner was a longtime follower of my blog. We have been consoling each other ever since three years ago when I received a card from Glenn telling me of Michael's passing. Glenn has been literally a life saver in helping me cope and I helping him cope. He told me that even after three years he still misses his Michael. We discussed about what happens when we die and Glenn brought up the theory that "there is something bigger" where our soul or spirit goes. That seems to make more sense to me than the old Heaven and Hell trope that's been force fed to the masses over the ages by organized religion to keep them in line. Glenn told me that "life is a lesson." I understand that because I've often thought we keep coming back to life in different forms and learn until we get it right. I think that is Buddhist thinking. 

What I do know now is that I that same level of comfort that those who have experienced a near death moment and have come back to life. I don't know if I'm just psyching myself out or what, but this is working for me. Of course I miss Bill terribly and will the rest of my life. After all I spent my whole adult life with Bill. And now I'm going solo. I am so thankful I have Pat. Pat isn't Bill but he is a good friend. A friend of this old man. I think of others my age straight and gay who have lost their mate and have no one to finish out their life with. How awful that must be. I am so fortunate. 

This morning while discussing Bill's death with my cardiologist he told me "You had fifty-nine good years with him. Think of that. You have your memories and now you're healthy enough for many more good years." I do like my cardiologist. He is right. I am so fortunate. 

Time for my walk now before it gets dark. Even with daylight savings time now in effect, darkness still falls every day. Just at a later time. 

 

Medical Update October 26, 2022

Bill enjoying a Viennese Crescent cookie

 Here is the latest medical update on me and Bill.

We're both doing fine. Bill has much improved since his two back to back strokes in January of 2021.

Bill still needs and will probably always need help dressing, washing, eating and taking his medications. His cognitive abilities are not what they were before his strokes but he has stabilized. Bill, bless his heart, still is able to get around on his own. 

Every morning I wash him (every third day is Shower Day which he still hates), change his Depends, give him his medications and prepare his breakfast. His diet is still the same. The two main meals are oatmeal with extra sugar and half and half cream. I have to fine ground his oatmeal because he can't swallow regular oatmeal. Lunch time is a high protein Ensure. During the day he snacks on thin cookies, his favorite being crescent cookies that I make for him. They are shortbread cookies consisting of butter (lots of butter), flour, sugar (both regular and confectioners) and a dab of vanilla. Those are his favorite cookies. Labor intensive to make for me (I always end up with an aching back after I roll them out for the umpteenth time in confectioners sugar) but well worth it for he so appreciates them. He also likes caramel candies. Doesn't seem like a varied diet (where are the fruits and vegetables you ask?) but this seems to be working for him. 

This week we both have doctors' appointments. Mine is tomorrow with my VA care provider. Annually I give blood for my labs and my care provider goes over the results. This year he's ordered a CAT-SCAN for me. I don't know why but I'm not doing any more bone marrow tests or that test where they stick an instrument with a camera on the end up your penis into your bladder to check for bladder cancer. My brother Isaac just had that procedure. Twice I've turned down that procedure.  Once about twelve years ago when a doctor at the VA in Wilmington was pressuring me and another time with my former urologist who scheduled the procedure for me without even informing me or discussing the NEED for that procedure. That procedure must be a profit center. No thank you.

My arthritis is gradually getting worse. Not much I can do about it other than take Advil when my back aches become too painful. Advil will give me a few hours of relief. I'm also having more trouble with my legs. If I get down on the floor I have trouble getting up on my own. I have to grab something to grab onto help life me up. This problem has been creeping up on me for the past twenty years or so. Again, not much I can do about it other than to take my regular walks.

My mental health is doing fine these days. For several months after Bill came home from the rehab facility and I became his full-time caregiver, I was feeling trapped. Even though I was thankful to be able to care for Bill here at home where he is most comfortable (I just cannot imagine him living in a nursing home like facility) I felt like I had a ball and chain around my ankle. I don't feel like that now. I am resigned (?) or comfortable with the fact that for the foreseeable future, even though that may be years, I will always be here at home taking care of Bill. We have a very comfortable home and life here in southern Delaware is like a permanent vacation. Of course I miss my trips to Palm Springs, Philadelphia and Canada with Pat, but I didn't have those trips before I met Pat. Again, life could be a lot worse. These days I compare anything I complain about with life in Ukraine. Extreme yes but true. 

One thing that is making life easier around here is my discovery of hour long continuous club music on You Tube. All these years I've been paying for a premium membership in You Tube and I haven't been taking advantage of this free music! I'm making for lost time now. 

The one thing I do miss though is my part-time job at the hotel. This January it will be two years since I left my job abruptly to take care of Bill. Hard to believe so much time has passed by so quickly. Maybe someday I'll go back, if they'll have me that is.

Have a great day everyone!

Bill Healthcare Update

Time for an update on Bill's health and my caregiver status.

We have settled into a routine. 

This morning was Shower Day, as it is every three days. Bill complains but he does appreciate my help in giving him a shower. He hasn't been this clean in years. Bill never was one for really washing himself. For  years his definition of showering was a quick splash of water sans soap about every four days, not the best personal hygiene practice. Oh sure, I tried to persuade him to shower more often, especially when he started emitting body odors, but you have to know how stubborn Bill is. No wonder during two different emergency hospital visits they found fungus on his body. I know this is a turnoff to many of you who read this blog but I'm just stating facts. Some may say "How could you live with somebody like that?" Well, he wasn't always like that. I think his lack of personal hygiene developed over the years. But this is for sure now, as long as I'm able, Bill will be as clean as is possible. And no more body odor.

Bill edema in his lower legs has improved. No more open wounds and leakage. No more dry scaly skin. I think this is a result of me washing his legs and feet every morning with Dial anti-bacterial soap and slathering his legs with Lubriderm lotion. And another factor is Bill walks several times a day thus getting the blood flowing to his lower legs. Whatever, it's working and we're going to keep at it.

On the downside, Bill is getting weaker. He's having a more difficult time climbing the stairs from his basement bedroom and bathroom. He used to kid me before his strokes, at how he had no trouble climbing those stairs unlike my struggle to climb those stairs. He actually goes slower than me. 

His eyesight is getting worse. He can't even see to put a plug in a wall. He can't see me working outside in our backyard when he looks directly at me. He has to look sideways to see my image. That's because the central retina in his eyes is gone. It so sad when I look him directly in his eyes it's like looking at a blind person's eyes. He doesn't see me. It's heartbreaking. 

We're still waiting for his new hearing aids. He lost his old hearing aids a couple of weeks ago. I thought they would show up by now but no such luck. I suspect they got flushed down the toilet during one of his bathroom visits. He's easily confused when he gets up at night for his bathroom visits. 

His cognitive functions are also deteriorating. Like my late friend Bob McC., he can't figure out how to take a picture of me with my camera. He offered to take my picture earlier this week when I was working on cleaning out the shed. I was reluctant to hand him my iPhone because I'm afraid he'll drop it, he's that unsteady. But we were outside on the thick mat of grass and I figured if he did drop my iPhone it wouldn't break. No matter, he couldn't see the big white button to take my picture nor could he figure out how to get my image in the viewfinder of my iPhone. When my late friend Bob McC. had the same problem,  that's when I knew Bob's cognitive abilities were gone. Same with Bill. He can't "connect the dots."

It's not all bad news around here.  Bill isn't in pain and his other bodily functions work fine (thank goodness). We've been having a glorious spring.  Bill spends a good deal of the day sitting on our back deck.  He likes the feeling of the sun on him. Once the weather gets hot though, he won't be able to do that but now it's fine because the weather is cool and brisk. 

Another piece of good news is that t he mask mandate will be lifted here in Delaware on May 21st, this Friday.  I know what I'm going to do, take a trip down to the Rehoboth Beach boardwalk for a nice walk with the salt breezes of the Atlantic Ocean caressing my weathered, stressed, caregiver face.