Falling

Lake at the end of our driveway

 Yesterday, while attempting to get our mail from the melted snow soaked grass and lake in front of our driveway, I fell . . . . . again.

I've done a lot of falling in my life. 

I've fallen in love. 

I've fallen for cons.

I've fallen for lies (different than cons, I'll explain in a future blog).

But perhaps the most dangerous is when my six foot three inch (now six one, I'm shrinking) body falls to the ground.

The earliest fall that I've been told a bout was when I rolled off the porch roof from a second floor window when I was just a baby (probably not even a year old). My uncle Bruce (who was a teenager at the time) was babysitting me. From what my Mother tells me I somehow got my curious little body to the second floor window and got out, rolled down the porch roof onto the cement driveway. 

I was unconscious when my screaming Mother rushed me to the hospital. She said the doctor told her I probably had brain damage (explains a lot in my later life) and he didn't expect me to regain conscientious again. There I was, a little pudge ball of babysat, didn't even make it a year. But, and a BIG BUT, somehow I regained conscientious after several hours and there I was, ready to begin this eighty year journey of falling. My poor uncle Bruce, my Mother told me he was very upset. I guess he would be, he was supposed to be looking after me.

Yesterday's fall was caused by me taking out the trash cans (recycle day yesterday, thus two trash cans), then slogging through the spongy melted snow grass to try and traverse the lake that always appears at the end of our driveway after a rain or snow melt. (See photo taken of said at the beginning of this post.)

I was attempting to step over the flagstones of the flower garden that Bill built at the end of the driveway. My arthritic encased spine didn't get my foot all the way up and that foot hit the stones and I went down, my left knee in the mud and my left hand bracing my fall. Thank God I didn't do a full face plant (which I've done in the past). However, my left hand and wrist is painfully sprained now. 

You don't realize how often you use both hands to do everyday functions. I did last night as I tried to feed Bill then myself. Typing at my computer wasn't too bad but every time I moved my fingers on my left hand, a dull pain reminding me of my stupidity of falling yet again.

A couple years ago I fell in Palm Springs while walking and looking at my iPhone. I didn't see that contraption they use with sandbags to block of the streets for the street festival they had during our holiday. Again I automatically braced myself as I was going "TIMBER!" down. I turned my left hand palm out and SLAM! I went down. Unfortunately my newly upgraded (and insurance covered) iPhone cushioned my fall, not breaking but seriously scratching the glass of my iPhone. I took the iPhone to the Apple store in Palm Desert. Those Apple people, they replaced my iPhone, free of charge.

Several years ago, while Pat and I were in Philadelphia, I stepped off the curb into a construction pothole and did a face plant on the black macadam 21st Street. Good thing Pat was too my left because he stopped the traffic and helped me up. After that fall I looked like someone had beaten me up. Several times I felt the need to explain myself when I was in a restaurant with Pat and the waitress gave me a semi-shocked pitiful "should I report domestic abuse look"

My full face plant fall in Philadelphia

to me as I was giving her my order. Poor Pat, me putting him in this situation. I've often wondered, what if Pat wasn't with me, I think I would have been run over on 21st and Chestnut Streets, never knowing what hit me. What an ignominious end for such a storied and celebrity person such as myself. But I did live to fall again.

Of course my most damaging fall was in 2015. I was leaving work at the hotel on a snowy night and as I was rounding the snow and ice covered corner of the building I slipped and fell and hit my left knee on the drainpipe with frozen water ice sculpture out of it, dislocated my knee and as I attempted to stand up my full body weight tore my left leg quadricep muscle which was the beginning of a months long ordeal to sew up that quadricep muscle and months of rehab. My left leg never was right since then (feels like it's asleep/numb most of the time but at least I can walk. 

Me in the emergency room after my fall. My bottom left leg below the knee wasn't working because I tore the quadriplegic muscle when I stood on my dislocated knee - a very strange feeling

Over the years since we moved to Delaware I've had several other stupid falls. One when I was going into the American Legion to reserve a ride to the Veteran's Hospital in Wilmington. I failed to step up over the yellow painted curb and fell straight forward again bracing myself with my left hand for the fall thus fracturing my lower left arm. That took months to heal. Very painful.

I've had several falls on slick floors at work (the hotel). Those floors are like ice. No damage done (thankfully) on those falls. 

I've also had numerous falls outside gardening. The dirt cushioned my fall. 

One fall I recorded inadvertently. I was rounding the corner to our driveway (yep, same driveway) while I was talking to my friend Larry my iPhone (FaceTime) and I slipped on the muddy driveway and went down, again bracing myself with my left hand. No damage to my iPhone nor me but muddied pant leg. That ending my days of talking to Larry on FaceTime during my morning walks. 

Folks, I can't afford to fall again. Bill needs me. I am his sole caregiver. If I'm gone, he's gone too. He just cannot handle living in a facility. 

Bill took care of me when I was out of commission for twelve weeks when they sewed my quadricep leg muscle together so I could walk again. He can't do that now. I have to get a lot smarter. 

I remember something Judge Judy as the most helpful advice her father gave her to live a long time.

DON'T FALL!