Deaths from COVID are rising dramatically across the United States. This dramatic rise has to do with families getting together for Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year's. These family gatherings and public celebratory gatherings are super spreader events.
Bill and I haven't participated in any of these super spreader events. However, we are exposed nonetheless. I shop at our local supermarket several times a week. I work at the hotel twice a week. Our neighbor visits us at least once a week. He never wears a mask. In fact, I don't think he even possesses a mask. He's a good neighbor but he is a total Trumper, buying into Trump's lies about the election and, I'm sure, Trumps lies about the seriousness of the COVID pandemic. I know he goes fishing several times a week with his buddies. Also, during the holidays he had various family member visit him.
Me and Bill, even before this pandemic hit, stay pretty much to ourselves. We never have company over. We used to years ago, but Bill preferred not to have company. At this time of his life, I'm trying to make Bill's life as stress free as possible so no company.
One of my really big worries that I try not to think too much about is me dying before Bill. Bill is so dependent on me both emotionally and taking care of our home life management and doctor's appointments. I can tell you right now, if I'm gone Bill won't be too long behind me.
Here I am talking about life and death again. But this is something I have to seriously consider.
If I should die I think about all that I haven't done but then it won't matter if I die because I wouldn't know the difference, would I? I'm often concerned with what would happen to my "things" (photos, furniture, journals, paintings, et al) if and when I die. Again, it doesn't really matter does it because once I'm dead, I won't know the difference. Of course I'm still trying to reconcile this fact in my mind so I'm comfortable with letting go of all those "things." Still I can't help but be saddened to know that so much that I have worked for and accumulated during my long life will be trashed. And yes folks, that is what will happen, trashed. But I have some solace in knowing that I enjoyed these "things" while I was alive.
I hope I'm here next year or at least when this whole COVID pandemic has receded from our every day life. Like millions (billions) of my fellow inhabitants of this earth, I am so looking forward to life going back to normal. Life when sports stadiums are filled with cheering fans, when families can get together during the holidays, weddings, reunions and just living together. When all this fear and sadness is just a memory like the Spanish Flu pandemic of 1918. One thing I am thankful for that his pandemic didn't happen during my prime working years. I just can't imagine trying to survive without a paycheck like so many families are trying to now.
Stay safe everyone.
