The Best Mom in the World

(Pictured from left to right:  Sandy Hadfield Hart - my Mom's cousin - my Mom - and Elaine Reynolds Tyson my Mom's niece - lovely ladies all - all "Hadfield Girls"


My Mom died September 16th, 2010.  Even though her death was expected, when she died it was still like a punch in the stomach.

I have two brothers, John and Isaac.  When my father died in 2000, my younger brother (he's the middle one) took care of our Mom at her home in Pennsylvania.  Then came a time last year when her physical and mental health began to deteriorate more quickly and my brothers and I decided that it would be best for her if she moved in with my brother John in South Carolina.  His home had the facilities to take better care of someone in my Mother's condition.  John and his wife had a separate "mother-in-law" apartment in their modest ranch house in Greenville, SC.  And, John's profession is that he is the care pastor of his church.  John and his wife take care of older people in failing health for a living.  What better place for our Mom to live out her days.

My brothers and I had always promised Mom that we would never put her in a nursing home.  Thanks to my brothers, we were able to keep that promise.

The pictures I have in this video are a random compilation of pictures that I had collected over the years.  I surprised myself by being able to put together this DVD because I had never before (or since) used the iMovie maker function of my iMac.

I was very pleased with hour the remembering the rich, full life of our Mom came out.  I would like to think I was divinely lead in producing this loving tribute to our Mom.

I know a lot of people say they have the best Mom in the world.  And that is probably true.  Maybe sometimes that is exaggerated but that's all right too.  But one thing I know for sure, my brothers and I all agree that for us we had the Best Mom In The World.

My brothers and I are who we are today because of our Mom.  Even towards the end of her life when her personality began to change because of her dementia and she wasn't the Mom we knew all our lives, she was still Our Mom.  Nothing could ever change that.

It's been six months now since Mom passed away.  I thought I was over it, at least the teary part.  Guess what?  Every time I watch this DVD, the frog come back into my throat and the tears begin to well up in my eyes.  Waves of sadness sweep over me.  By the time the DVD ends, I am exhausted.

The purpose of this posting is not to elicit sympathy for me, my brothers or my Mom.  To me her passing is part of life.  Someday I too will pass as will my brothers.  No one needs to be sad.  We have all lived a good and fulfilling life as did my Mother.  When you watch this DVD, remember that my Mom lived a long and good life.

We all miss her every day.  As my brother John said after she died "Ronnie, we're orphans now.  Sixty year old orphans, but we're still orphans."  I know what he meant.  Our Mother was such a guiding force in our lives that now she is gone we feel diminished.  But as long as I'm alive I will have these wonderful memories of her which I am sharing with the readers of my blog today.

We all only get one Mom.  Isaac, John and I know God smiled on us when he gave us the best.

Mom

Betty Louise Hadfield Tipton

December 24, 1923 - September 16, 2010

Mom

Betty Louise Hadfield - 1939 High School Senior

The crack of an early morning thunderstorm woke me up at 4 am this morning.  I couldn't get back to sleep.  Perhaps because yesterday I received bad news about my Mother.

Mom is now living with my brother John and his wife Barbara and daughter Nancy in Greenville, SC.  She is now 86 years old.  Her health has taken a noticeable downtown in the last year.  In fact, we moved her from her home in Pennsylvania last October, where she lived with my other brother Isaac.  We felt that her health couldn't take another winter in Pennsylvania, and in retrospect that was an good decision given last winter's two back to back blizzards.

Betty Hadfield Tipton with me, "Number 1 Son" - 1941

Like her two older sisters, Mom is also suffering from dementia.  Her oldest sister, Grace, died shortly after being placed in a nursing home.  Mom's other older sister, Jeanette, is still living in a nursing home.  My brothers and I are doing everything we can to keep her out of a nursing home.  We made that promise to her.  We intend to keep it.

My Mom with her older sister Grace - 2005

Yesterday I received bad news from my sister-in-law.  Mom had fallen again.  She has fallen a number of times in the past year but so far, no broken bones.  Barbara also said that her potassium level was discovered to be so low, that the doctor was amazed that she was still alive.

The doctor has since stabilized her potassium levels but I am afraid this is the beginning of the end.  Her body seems to be shutting down.  Mom cannot walk on her own now.  She needs a wheel chair.

She almost always gets names confused.  John doesn't even correct her now when she calls him "Isaac."

Brother John with Mom working a puzzle 2010

My father died ten years ago on August 22, 2000.  He and Mom were married for sixty years.  "Pop" was the only man Mom ever knew.  He was the only man she ever wanted.  When he died, she was never the same.  The past ten years has been a slow decline, accelerated in the past two years.

Mom and Pop 1940 - she's pregnant with Number 1 Son

Mom and Pop - 1982

It doesn't seem that long ago that I was calling her almost every night sharing my life with her.  I have two younger brothers.  I am the Oldest Son.  I was Mom's Number 1 son.  In fact, that's how I always signed all my cards to her......."Number One Son."  Of course this was tongue in cheek but everyone knew we had a special relationship.

Mom and Number One Son - July 2002

Recently I found out some information in my genealogy research about how she got her name "Betty."  I wanted to share this information with her but I can't talk to her now.  She gets too confused.  She doesn't understand what I'm talking about.  I miss talking to my Mother and best friend.

Mom with her Three Boys - 1951

Mom and her Three Boys -  2005

This morning when the thunder woke me up, I felt like this was more than thunder.  I feel like this is a portent of bad news to come.

I don't know how I'm going to handle this.

Mom 2010 - my best friend