Harold arrives at his birthday party

A few days ago I watched this video, "Boys in the Band". Harold's arrival at his birthday party plays just as well today as it did when I first watched this movie 39 years ago at the Midtown Theater in downtown Philadelphia, PA. Harold's quote "Life is a goddamn laugh riot" is just as appropriate today as it was back in the Stone Age (before Stonewall.) Enjoy!

The Boys in the Band

Last night I took a trip down Memory Lane and watched the ground breaking movie (for its time) "The Boys in the Band." This was a movie I rented from Netflix. I was reluctant to watch it at first but now I am glad I did.

I first saw "Boys in the Band" at the Midtown Theater in downtown Philadelphia in 1970. At that time it was the first major motion picture with an openly gay story line and characters. I remember how nervous I was going to the movie theater on Chestnut Street with my lover (now called "partner") of five years, Bill (yes, we're still together.) The movie theater was right across the street from the bank where I worked. As hard as it is to believe now I remember part of my nervousness was taking a chance that someone from where I worked would see me going into this movie theater that was showing a gay movie. I decided to take the chance because it was on a Saturday afternoon and the bank was closed and thus none of my co-workers would be at work. Even though I had already come out to my family and friends five years previously, I was still somewhat in the closet at work. Maybe I had one foot out the closet door.

In the cool confines of the Midtown Theater, Bill and I anxiously awaited the start of the movie. Then it started. I have to say we were somewhat shocked because all the characters in the film were realistically portrayed. Bill and I knew people like the overtly effeminate, mincing, nellie queen Emory to the self-hating homosexual Michael. From the two "normal" acting lovers Hank and Larry. And who didn't know an regal, sharp tongued queen like Harold? We all did. It was a revelation to see people we knew in our real life portrayed on the big screen for all the world to see. The straight world. And of course there isn't a gay guy who doesn't know someone like Alan, the so-called straight guy who doesn't know what he wants. Ironically, my first sexual experience was with such a man. A married man with two children who seduced me (yes, at one time I was the neophyte.)

Looking at the movie last night I was now embarrassed by the nellie antics of Emory. Sure, there are still gay guys who act like him but there are very politically incorrect in today's gay liberation environment. Also, the overall tone of the story which is about Michael, the self-hating gay man who doesn't want to be gay but if he is he wants to drag down his closeted former college roommate down with him. Back then (the 60's) there was enough homophobia to make just about any gay man hate himself for what he was.

But what was enjoyable about watching the movie again was the perfection of Leonard Frey's character, Harold. Leonard Frey to me was one of those much underrated character actors who never got his full due during his lifetime. But he did accomplish one thing, he had the one perfect role which was of Harold, the "pockmarked, ugly, Jew fairy." Leonard was magnificent.

The main character, Michael was played by Kenneth Nelson. I never heard of him before this movie and I haven't heard of him since. I think he grossly overplayed his role but maybe that is what he was supposed to do. I found watching his acting this time to be somewhat painful. Probably the reason I didn't feel that way when I first saw this movie 39 years ago was that everything was so new that I forgave actors who chewed up the scenery during their big scenes.

This movie had so many memorable quotes. Some of which are:


Michael: What's so fucking funny?
Harold: Life. Life's a goddamn laugh riot.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Michael: What is he - a psychiatrist or a hairdresser?
Donald: Actually he's both. He shrinks my head and then combs me out.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Emory: Who do you have to fuck to get a drink around here?
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[Looking in the mirror]
Michael: There's one thing to be said about masturbation: you certainly don't have to look your best.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Michael: [sings] "Forget your troubles, c'mon get happy! You better chase all your cares away!" What's more boring than a queen doing a Judy Garland imitation?
Donald: A queen doing a Bette Davis imitation.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[to the Cowboy, Harold's "gift"]
Hank: Would you mind waiting over there with the gifts?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Michael: You're stoned and you're late. You were supposed to arrive at this location at eight thirty dash nine o'clock.
Harold: What I am Michael is a 32 year-old, ugly, pock marked Jew fairy, and if it takes me a little while to pull myself together, and if I smoke a little grass before I get up the nerve to show my face to the world, it's nobody's god damned business but my own. And how are you this evening?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Harold: I keep my grass in the medicine cabinet in the Band Aid box. Somebody told me it's the safest place. If the cops arrive, you can always lock yourself in the bathroom and flush it down the john.
Hank: Very cagey.
Harold: Makes more sense to where I was keeping it: in the oregano jar in the spice rack. I kept forgetting it and accidentally turning my hateful mother on with a salad. But I think she liked it. No matter what meal she comes over for, even if it was breakfast, she says
[in his mother's voice]
Harold: "Let's have a salad!"
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Harold: You're a sad and pathetic man. You're a homosexual and you don't want to be, but there's nothing you can do to change it. Not all the prayers to your god, not all the analysis you can buy in all the years you've go left to live. You may one day be able to know a heterosexual life if you want it desperately enough. If you pursue it with the fervor with which you annihilate. But you'll always be homosexual as well. Always Michael. Always. Until the day you die.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Michael: Let's do this again real soon.
Harold: Yeah, how about a year from Shavuos?

Well said.

The Milton, DE House and Garden Tour Part II

The humidity is back. We had about a week of low humidity, warm summer temperatures here on the eastern coast of the Delmarva peninsula near Cape Henlopen. This morning I did some yard work but I had to come in after a couple of hours because the humidity and heat drained the energy out of me. I am so thankful that the gods yesterday bestowed upon us such a wonderful summer day of warm temperatures, mild breezes and low humidity. It was ideal for the Milton Garden Tour, which I'm still relishing in my mind. This is the first garden tour I've ever done in my life and I loved it.

I'm a naturally nosy person anyway so I like to see other people's homes and gardens and see what their creative minds come up with. Yesterday was not a disappointment. Even though there were only twelve houses and gardens on the tour, most of the house were very different. The houses varied from one built in 1750 to more recent houses built in developments. From cozy enclosed backyards to open area backyards (like mine.) A few of the houses permitted us to also tour their houses which was a special treat for me, an inveterate open house type of person. I always get new ideas from seeing how other people decorate their houses. For relaxation some people go golfing, some go fishing. I love to see other people's houses and gardens.

A pleasant surprise yesterday was the way the Milton Garden Tour was organized. From purchasing my ticket at a table in front of the Milton Historical Society building to the numbered flowered markers of each building; one could quickly tell the people who organized this tour love what they are doing. At each stop we were greeted and offered refreshments and information about the property. As we left, we were thanked for visiting the property. How pleasant to be treated with such dignity and respect and friendliness in this world when such attributes are too often in short supply. Already I am eagerly anticipating next year's house and garden tour.

Milton Garden Tour

Today was just the perfect day for my first garden tour ever. For two years I've been trying to make the Lewes annual garden tour. Last year I had to work at the last minute and this year it was rained out. My friend Bob asked me to join him on this year's Milton Tenth Annual Garden and Homes Tour. This time I waited until the day of the tour before I bought my ticket (there were no refunds on the rained out Lewes Tour.)

Bob and I bought our tickets at the Milton Historical Society building in Milton on this absolute perfect sunny, low humidity, light breeze, Saturday morning. Our first tour was the Historical Society building which was formerly a church. The light steaming trough the multi-colored stained glass windows set the mood for the day. It was absolutely beautiful.

The first garden we visited was one after my own heart. It was called "The Orchard Hot House." The owner of the garden and house looks like a biker (tattoos, beard and pony tale) but has been an avid collector of orchids for nearly 30 years. His front yard is an all perennial garden with no green grass in sight. There was everything in his front yard. Not a blank space. Sort of reminds me of my planting technique, cover every spot. However, I do an expanse of green grass. In fact, I have almost an acre of green grass which frequently needs mowed as Bill often reminds me.

We next visited Bob's neighbor who has just about the best small, cozy backyard I've ever experienced. Someday, when I can't handle my present expanse of land, I hope to have a garden likes her. There is a bit of sun, shade and a water feature all just steps from your backdoor. My backyard is more like a field than a cozy backyard but it is what works for me now. I love having an area for my Purple Martin colony, the bluebirds and swallows who need a lot of space.

For the next several hours we toured the rest of the gardens on the tour. Each one was completely different and I thoroughly enjoyed visiting them. What I liked about all of them was that none were professionally done, all were homemade which is the best type. To have a professionally prepared garden on a garden tour like this is like taking store bought food to a pot luck. Somehow, it defeats the whole purpose.

I got a lot of good ideas for my garden from this tour today but I doubt if I'll ever participate in a garden tour. I'm too much of a perfectionist and I would drive myself crazy trying to get every weed out and having everything perfect. It wore me our just touring those gardens today and seeing all the work that went into them. Believe me, the nap I took this afternoon after I got home was one of the best I've had in months.

Yes, it was yet another good day for this old man to be Retired in Delaware.

Irrigation System at Work

Sometimes Mother Nature needs a little help. This is my irrigation system at the end of day helping to keep my lawn from turning brown.

The past several days have been picture perfect summer days, so much so that I haven't had time to sit at my computer and compose a thoughtful blog posting.

I'm taking advantage of this wonderful weather by working, playing and exercising outside as often as I can. I do my cooking in the morning (this morning broccoli casserole and orange cake) and the rest of the day I'm outside.

Guests at the hotel where I work often ask me how I like living in Delaware. I tell them the same thing everytime, "It's like a permanent vacation. I love it, love it, love it!"

Today was no exception. Soon the cold winds will blow across this tiny peninsula and I'll be holed up inside my cozy little home. Even then I love living here on the eastern shore of Delaware. I've worked and waited all my life for this time and it is here now and I am enjoying every moment. For me it doesn't get any better than this.

Purple Martins and Baby Catbird

This is my joy, my backyard. It has taken me two years to get it to this point where it is my oasis. I've created a backyard habitat for the birds, bees and other insects. The only thing I'm missing is a water feature like a small pond with a waterfall. I had three ponds at my home in Pennsylvania and I miss them very much. I will eventually put a pond in when I can figure out how I want to place it where I can hear the water and it is most beneficial to the local wildlife.

My backyard wildlife sanctuary here in Delaware is quite different from the one I had in Pennsylvania. Here my yard is out in the open. I started from a clean slate. In Pennsylvania, I had to make a clearing in the woods. I had to deal with stones and roots and the biggest problem, the deer. I have none of those problems here on my acre of land in Delaware.

Since I'm out in the open I have a different bird population too. Here I have Purple Martins, which require an open space. I also have bluebirds and swallows. None of these species of birds visited me in Pennsylvania.

In Pennsylvania I had the woodland birds such as the Tufted Titmice, Nuthatches, Finches, and Cardinals. I also had the occasional woodpecker. I have none of those bird species here on my property in Delaware. However, I do have robins and my favorite, the catbird. Grackles and other species visit, but the robins and catbirds have made their nests in my backyard.

In this video you will see a young catbird. For the past few days it has been following me around as I refill my birdbaths. It is very tame. Maybe it thinks I am its mother.

As much as I like cats, it's good I don't have one now. A cat would make quick work of a friendly baby catbird.

Purple Martin House Update

Almost all of my bird update blogs are about the bluebirds in my back yard. I also have a swallow nest and a Purple Martin House. The pictures on this blog were taken about a half an hour ago after I made a check of the Purple Martin house to make sure there were no dead baby birds. That happened one time last year. The only way I knew about it was that the adult Purple Martins were acting strangely by squawking and flying about in an alarming manner. I took down the house and found three dead baby Purple Martins, pecked to death in their heads probably by a house sparrow trying to take over their nest.

Thank goodness that wasn't the situation this time. Of the six compartments, four were occupied by baby Purple Martins in various stages of development. Those are the pictures I have placed on this blog. I've lost track of the number of baby Purple Martins born to this particular house but it was to be at least two dozen.

The Purple Martins arrived right on time May 1st of this year. I'm not sure when they depart. I think it is at the end of this month so these are probably the last batches. Then all will be quiet in my backyard again. I'll miss them and their soaring antics as the adults taught the young Purple Martins to fly. Soon they will be on their way to their winter destinations. I bet the mosquitoes in my back yard will be glad to see them go. Then it's just me and Bill against the mosquitoes.

Getting Back Up To Speed

Last night I ended my six day marathon work schedule at the hotel where I work part-time. Whew! I was busier last night that I was on the Fourth of July. There must have been a full moon last night. Multiple phone calls, guests checking in, guest checking out early, making reservations, checking reservations, doing loads of laundry,moping and vacuuming the floors....you name it. I was a master of multi-tasking last night. At one point I was beginning to lose it which is a big NO-NO in the hospitality business. I started to get snippy with a guest who was insisting on renting our beer package special for FOUR guests instead of the usual two guests. We don't do four guest because they tend to get too rowdy and thus disturb the other guests in the hotel. You know how it works when more than two young adults get together with a couple of six packs of a brew......PAAAARRRRTYYY! Well, the woman who was trying to make the reservation over the phone wanted to know "Who makes the rule that you can only have one couple in the room?" I told her in a very clear tone of voice "the owner of the hotel." So she decides to try and intimidate me by calling the owner of the brewery who has the arrangement with our hotel and says "I wonder what (blank) will think of that?" Okay honey, you call him. I didn't actually say that but I had to bit my tongue. Instead I put my sweetest, most reasonable tone of voice on and said "If you wouldn't mind, you can call the manager tomorrow and speak with him." She instead told me "Have the owner of the hotel call me!" I told her (still my sweet, reasonable voice) I couldn't do that but "perhaps you could call in the morning." She wasn't too happy with this suggestion but she didn't have much choice. I could sense the road we were going down and knew we didn't want to go there. It solves nothing except to cause both of use to become very defensive and dislike one another. That's not what the hospitality business is all about. The customer may always be right but sometimes they're not going to get there way. This was one of those times.

After this exchange of "focused" words, I had to push my RESET button or else I was going to continue down a path for the rest of the night which wouldn't be good for me or the guests of the hotel. That I did and I was sweetness and light the rest of the night, no matter what curve balls were thrown at me by the guests (and there were a few more, believe me.)

One thing I like about my job working the front desk of the hotel is that it keeps my mind sharp. Oh sure, there are those times which are very trying and I wonder "Why did I ever take this job? Do I need this aggravation?" The answer is "Yes" because if I didn't have a job that stimulated my mind, then my mind would atrophy like my good friend who is slowly sinking into dementia. Your brain is like a muscle, if you don't use it, it will shrink up and be useless. Then you die. In the meantime, you're no good to yourself or anyone else. That is a fate I do not wish to invite upon myself. I look at these sometimes tough situations that I sometimes face at the hotel as a challenge. My goal is to turn around a negative situation into a positive one. I have almost always succeeded and when that happens I feel a positive reinforcement that I am performing a worthwhile function in life. My portion of the world may be small and insignificant but it is of value to me and those who interact with me. I always strive to make those interactions positive for both myself and the people I meet everyday. I love my job. I appreciate every day that I wake up and have a job to go to.

I have the rest of this week off. I don't go back to work until next Monday night. I will luxuriate in that time. That's another thing I like about working, the time off is so much more appreciated. I love my job but I love my time off too. Today I'm meeting my friends Judy and Judy (yes, they're both named Judy) for lunch at Gilligan's in Lewes. Perhaps I'll invite another friend over for dinner later this week. The sun is out, the temperature is warm and there is a gentle breeze. My backyard beckons.