Happy Birthday

Sixty eight years ago, at 9:30 am on a Sunday morning, at the Chester County Hospital, in West Chester, Pennsylvania, Ronald Walter Tipton made his entrance into this world. That would be me.

I was the first born child and son of Isaac Walter Tipton and Betty Louise Hadfield.  Two other sons would be born later.  I am the crown prince of my family.

I have to say, the past sixty eight years have been a real experience. I don't know how much longer I have to go but I am thankful that I have gotten this far in life with all of my limbs intact, my brain still functions fairly well (not as good as it did when I was in my 20's) and the rest of my bodily functions still work.

One of the few signs of old age is a constant ache in my back and a stiffness of my joints. Today is a good example that my body isn't as spry as it was when I was a young whipper snapper of 50 or so. I spent the best part of the day bending over and on my knees planting 120 tulip bulbs in the front of my house. After I was done I could hardly move. I took my daily walk but was concerned that I might not be able to finish it. When I got home I took a nap that was more like slipping into unconsciousness.



There can now be no doubt about it. I am officially an Old Man.

My looks haven’t changed a whole lot (I would like to think.) I still weigh the same as I did when I graduated from high school 50 years ago (160 lbs.) I still have most of my hair although my hairline has receded significantly. My hair color is still a dark brown although I do now have a dignified smattering of gray on the sides and a few gray strands on the top that just appeared this year. I was fortunate that I’ve inherited a good deal of my father’s genes. He died at 80 years of age without one gray hair on his head.



So how do I feel about this go round in Life? I feel pretty good. Of course I’ve had my trying moments. I almost lost my life due to an undiagnosed staph infection when I was 17 years old. I’ve been in several car accidents but escaped injury. I was almost strangled once during an argument that got out of hand (no, it wasn’t with my present partner of 45 years.)



I grew up poor. During the 70’s and early 80’s, during the peak of my earning power I experienced a somewhat flushed lifestyle. However, that didn’t last too long and I’m now poor again due to losing my longtime job at the bank and the current housing market. However, I have managed to survive and stay afloat with a reasonably comfortable life if I am careful with my limited income received from Social Security and a few bank pensions.



I am fortunate in that I have a part-time job that engages my mind and helps me to keep up with the ever increasing cost of living that my fixed income doesn’t. I am also fortunate in that I like the kind of work that I’m doing and the people I work with. Of course, as with anything in life, there are challenges with this job too. Our sour economy bypasses few and I’m not one of the few bypassed. But I have no complaints. Life has been good to me.



I hope the next time around (I do believe in reincarnation) that I am as fortunate as I have been on this turn.



Happy birthday to me.

The Meeting

This afternoon I had a meeting with the owner of the hotel where I work. The hotel manager also sat in the meeting.



It was a very frank meeting. "Frank" means that we said what was exactly on our minds. I asked why an ad was placed in the local newspaper for my job without telling me. I was told that the ad wasn't for my job but applied to the whole hotel staff. I said "That isn't the way the ad reads." But I was told again that it applied to the whole hotel staff. The ad was placed to "get our attention." Mission accomplished. It got our attention. This was the proverbial two by four between the eyes to get the mule's attention.



The owner expressed his concerns in a frank and forceful manner. He was concerned that in today's economy, the hotel staff appears to be too lackadaisical in their attitude towards their job. He also expressed concern about my lack of confidence in performing my front desk duties when he is around.



I told him that I'm nervous when he is around and will holler at me if I make a mistake. He has done this before and I didn't want a repeat performance. His concern is that the hotel doesn't project the best image in today's competitive environment where quality of service is the difference in getting bookings or not getting bookings. I agreed with him and assured him that I would address this problem I have being nervous when he is around. I told him I wouldn't pay any attention to him but "do my thing" and if he has a problem with what I did, and then tell me about it later in private without the histrionics. I warned him that if he did holler at me I would call him down on it immediately.



I understand his concern. I have the same goals he does, increasing business for the hotel. My goal is to provide the best service money can buy for all the guests of the hotel.



I told him that I am not a replica of him and thus would not be providing the same wording and manner in dealing with the guests that he would but that I am competent and quite capable of doing my job if left alone without someone watching over my shoulder.



At the end of the almost hour long meeting, we shook hands and parted company with what I felt was a more understanding and respectful manner. However, I still do not agree with the method of placing an ad in the paper to get our attention. I told him that it was personally humiliating for me. I was reassured again that the ad was not to replace my job personally but that all options are open. Fair enough.



I go to work again next Saturday and Sunday. Watch out, a new and more confident Ron is on the barricades.

This Stinks

“You should talk to him.”




“We don’t want to see you leave.”



“You don’t speak up for yourself.”



These were all comments made to me this morning by my partner, a good friend and a co-worker, not necessarily in that order.



Of course they are all right. Since I found out my job was posted in the local newspaper without any explanation to me, I’ve had mixed emotions.



First I was hurt. Sure, I’m a big boy and have been around the block (more than a few times actually) but rejection still hurts.



Secondly, I was angry. I’m the one worker who is always available to fill in on short notice. Even on Thursday, when I got the news that my job was going to be posted in the local newspaper, I was called into work at 12:30 instead of my usual 3 pm. The shift I worked Thursday was 12:30 pm to 11 pm. That is a long day by anyone’s standards.



Conflicting thoughts have been running through my mind since I learned of this disheartening news. Should I quit? Should I swallow my pride and keep going in until they find someone better then they fire me? What to do?

My first impulse was to ignore the news as if nothing happened and continue going into work and doing my best, which is what I always do. I am competent. In fact, I am very good. Not for nothing did I win the Best Guest Service Award (1999) when I worked at the Hampton Inn in Exton, PA. That is a national award that no one at that particular Hampton Inn ever won before or has won since. I am good at what I do. I enjoy meeting hotel guests and providing them with the very best service. Thus, my first impulse was to continue going to work and hoping this uneasiness in my stomach would go away.



But it didn't go away. This morning on the way to our weekly breakfast at Zorba’s in Rehoboth Beach my partner Bill told me “You should call him and find out what is going on. Just ask him. He owes you an explanation.”



My cell phone had a message on it from a good friend. I retrieved the message and in essence what my good friend said was “That’s bullshit. You don't deserve to be treated that way.” And of course he’s right.



I called the hotel and asked to speak to the manager. My co-worker at the front desk answered the phone. She wanted to know why I was asking for the manager. I told her “Because I want to know why my job was posted to the newspaper without anyone talking to me.” She said “You should talk to ___ (the owner’s name.) That’s the only way you’re going to get anywhere. You have to talk to him and tell him how you feel. You don’t stick up for yourself Ron. That’s the problem.” And, of course she’s right too.



Now granted, I may not be the best candidate for the part-time front desk job. Since I only work part-time (used to be two days a week now it’s one day a week), I’m not always up to date on the latest changes. Thus, sometimes I’m unsure of myself when questioned about a new package the hotel is offering. I’m not up to date on the latest rules on how much we can offer in discounts in this down economy with low hotel occupancy rates. Maybe I show this uncertainty when the owner is hovering nearby. In fact, I probably do show that uncertainty. That is the situation that a part-time worker encounters. If I was there every day I would be more up on the current promotions and know how to act with confidence accordingly.


I get home and I have a message from another good friend whose opinion I respect very much. He asked me “I don’t see how you can go into work when someone treats you like that.” And, of course he is also right.



Thus, I made my decision. I called the owner and asked to meet with him today to discuss my job. I want to know why he posted my job without talking to me first. If he is dissatisfied with my performance, then he has every right to replace me. He can fire me. That is his right which I do not contest.  However, if there is a misunderstanding, then I want to know what it is. But what he doesn’t have a right to do is humiliate me by posting my job without telling me why. That’s not professional. In fact, it stinks. I deserve some measure of respect.



He said he was busy (Pumpkin Chunkin) this morning and had a memorial service to attend to this afternoon at 1 pm. It is now 1:25 pm. I await his call.  I am nervous but I also feel a sense of relief that I am doing something about this uncomfortable situation instead of letting it stew.  I'm sticking up for myself.

Job Posting

Last night at work I was informed my my manager that my job will be posted in today's local paper. 

My birthday is next Monday, November 9th.

Happy birthday Ron.

Mom's Old Dresses

Bill and I took off early this morning for Pennsylvania to visit my brother Isaac. My Mom was staying with him up until October 17th, 2009. At that time my other brother John and his wife came up from their home in a rented van and took our Mom back to live with them in Greenville, South Carolina.


My brother John is the care pastor in his church. Now that Mom is living with him she’s going to church. She needed a dress. She didn’t take any dresses with her. My sister-in-law Barbara took her out shopping for a dress. My Mother was in sticker shock at the prices of dresses, even at a discount store like Marshall’s. She swallowed hard and bought one but she clearly needed more. 


I called my brother Isaac to send some of Mom’s dresses down to her in South Carolina. Isaac didn’t know where to begin. I think Mom has every dress she has ever owned, in all the sizes. For many years she wore a size 16. We couldn’t send those dresses down to her; she would be swimming in them.



Thus, it was time for an emergency intervention by Number 1 Son (that would be me.) Bill asked to go along for the ride to PA. He wanted to see the old property were we used to live. That property is now in default (the owner has fallen behind in payments.) Unfortunately, our formerly beautiful wooded paradise now looks like Grey Gardens.

Even though we left early this morning we ran into a number of delays on the way to Pennsylvania. Traffic was stalled to a crawl over the C & O Canal Bridge on the southern side of Newark, Delaware. Then once we would our way through the center of Newark, we got stuck behind a car averaging 25 MPH in a 45 MPH zone. This is the downside of avoiding traveling I-95 and traveling Route 896 instead. Route 896 is only has two lane driving, north south. So my choice is traveling on an 6 to 8 lane highway (I-95) at 75 MPH or more, with vehicle passing me on both sides or the back country, scenic drive up Rt. 896, and take a chance I get caught behind a tractor or an Old Man Taking a County Drive like I did today. I choose the country, scenic route and take my changes.



We arrive at the Old Props (our former home) about three hours later. After walking around the leaf and branch strewn grounds and taking many pictures, we leave dejected wondering why we put ourselves through this torture. I would buy this property back tomorrow if I had the money. Tonight is another Powerball drawing. One can always hope.

After leaving the Old Props, Bill and I drove over to Mom’s home, where my brother Isaac lives. I told Ike I was there to look for some dresses to send to Mom. Thus we began to sort through all her accumulation of clothes over the years. Ike was right when he said he hadn’t even gotten through the “first layer.” What a task. All I could find at first were her “tops” and many, many pants. No dresses.



Then I checked the spare bedroom which she was using to store her excess canned goods (she gets them on sale and stocks them in the spare bedroom on shelves.) There, in the cedar lined armoire were her dresses! I sort through them, discarding most of them because they are too big (size 16.)



Then I found them! There were three two and three piece outfits which appear to be a smaller size, which will fit her now. I handed them to Ike to box and send them to her. Then I checked her jewelry box. Viola! I found her crystal necklace! It’s her favorite. Sure, it’s an inexpensive necklace but it is her favorite. I think it is so because it reminds her of Reverend Pennlington’s wife, who always wore a crystal necklace. I remembered how much my Mother admired that necklace so I bought her one many years ago. I handed it to Ike to put in with her dresses to be mailed to her. I also gave Ike two sparkly pins that I bought at Strawbridge’s one Christmas. They will be the perfect accessory for her new gray suit. I also gave Ike a Christmas pin to put in the Dress Care Package.

I asked Bill to take a couple of pictures of me with Ike and then we were off, back to Delaware. But not before stopping at Wegmans for a quick lunch. Oh how I miss having a Wegmans in Delaware. I don’t miss the screaming kids in the store but I miss the choice, variety, and vitality of a supermarket like Wegmans. My choices in Delaware are Food Lion, Giant, or Safeway. There is no comparison.



Bill and I had an easy trip back to Delaware. Without delays, the trip is 2 ½ hours. Even so, we’re both very stiff when we get out of my red Subaru Forester in our driveway. This trip takes a lot out of us but it is well worth it.



We had a good visit with my brother. We found Mom’s dresses plus some of her jewelry to make her feel good when she goes out. And, as sad as it makes us feel, we had a good nostalgic trip back to our former home. Bill misses it so. I miss it also but I am very happy with where I live now. All is not lost with our old property though. As we got out of my car after we drove up the leaf covered lane, a small herd of deer rustled the leaves as they rose to their feet to see who was invading their sanctuary. Well, at least some good has come of the sad overgrown state of our former property

Special Tips for Hiring Woman

In my latest copy of "Bathroom Reader", I came across this interesting directive put out during the height of World War II on tips for hiring women in the workplace, due to the shortage of men, most of whom were off fighting the war. 

To my regular female readers of this blog, THESE ARE NOT MY VIEWS.  I only post it to show you how far we've come from such prehistoric thinking.  Yes, we have "come a long way baby", but we still have a long way to go.

Special Tips for Hiring Women

We’ve come a long way, baby. And it should be obvious once you read this article, which originally appeared under the title “Eleven Tips on Getting More Efficiency out of Women Employees” in the July 1943 edition of Mass Transportation magazine.






There’s no longer any question whether companies should hire women for jobs formerly held by men. The military draft and the manpower shortage have settled that point. The important things now are to select the most efficient women available and to know how to use them to the bet advantage. Here are 11 helpful tips on the subject from Western Properties:






1. If you can get them, pick young married women. They have these advantages; they usually have more of a sense of responsibility than their unmarried sisters; they’re less likely to be flirtatious; as a rule, they need the work or they wouldn’t be doing it – maybe a sick husband or one who’s in the Army; they still have the pep and interest to work hard and to deal with the public efficiently.


2. When you have to use older women, try and get ones who have worked outside the home at some time in their lives. Most companies have found that older women who have never contacted the public have a hard time adapting themselves and are inclined to be cantankerous and fussy. It’s always well to impress upon older women the importance of friendliness and courtesy.


3. While there are exceptions to this rule, general experience indicates that “husky” girls – those who are just a little on the heavy side – are likely to be more even-tempered and efficient than their underweight sisters.


4. Retain a physician to give each woman you hire a special physical examination – one covering female conditions. This step not only protects against the possibilities of lawsuit but also reveals whether the employee-to-be has any female weaknesses which would make her mentally or physically unfit for the job. Companies that follow this practice report a surprising number of women turned down for nervous disorders.


5. In breaking in women who haven’t previously worked outside the home, stress the importance of time – the fact that a minute or two lost here and there makes serious inroads on schedules. Until this point is gotten across, service is likely to be slow.


6. Give the female employee a definite schedule of duties so that she’ll keep busy without bothering the management for instructions every few minutes. Numerous companies say that women make excellent workers when they have their jobs cut out for them but that they lack initiative in finding work themselves.


7. Whenever possible, let the employee change from one job to another at some time during the day. Women are inclined to be nervous and they’re happier with change.


8. Give every girl an adequate number of rest periods during the day. Companies that are already using large numbers of woman stress the fact that you have to make some allowances for feminine psychology. A girl is more efficient if she can keep her hair tidied, apply fresh lipstick, and wash her hands several times a day.


9. Be tactful in issuing instructions or in making criticisms. Women are sensitive; they can’t shrug off harsh words the way that men do. Never ridicule a woman – it cuts her efficiency.


10. Be considerate about using strong language around women. Even though a girl’s husband or father may swear vociferously, she’ll grow to dislike a place of business where she hears too much of this.


11. Get enough size variety in uniforms so that each girl can get a proper fit. This point can’t be stressed to strongly as a means of keeping women happy.

Mom's New Dress

Mom is now living with my brother John and his wife Barbara in South Carolina. They came up to her home in Pennsylvania to pick her up and take her back with them to their home for the winter.




My brother John is the care pastor at his church. Shortly after Mom unpacked it was discovered that she did not have a dress.



Quick action was called for and my sister-in-law took Mom to the local Marshall's store. Here is Mom in her first dress in years. Mom is looking good.



The only thing her outfit is missing is Mom's crystal necklace. I called my brother Isaac in PA and asked where Mom’s jewelry was. She left all of it in PA.



This week I will go up to PA and inventory her jewelry. All of her jewelry, except her 50th wedding anniversary ring (and I picked that out for my father) are gifts that came from me over the years.



It does my heart good to see my Mom getting dressed up and going out in public and meeting people. Now we just have to put the icing on the cake. She was always had such a big smile when she wore her jewelry out in public. I want to see that smile again.

Halloween In Rehoboth Beach 2009

Halloween in Rehoboth Beach this evening wasn't what I thought it would be.  Maybe it because I went to the wrong party.  Maybe it was because I'm now thirty years older than the last time I went out on Halloween night with my good friend Big Bob.  Big Bob went out with me tonight and it was much different from our Halloween outing thirty years ago in center city Philadelphia, PA.

I had my costume, the Red Masque of Death.  Bob had his costume, a variation on Jason from Friday the 13th.  After scaring the neighbors, off we went to Rehoboth Beach this fine Halloween Night.  The weather was perfect.  A full moon rested in the sky with occasional dark clouds floating by it's luminous surface. 

I had a new appreciation of women and their clothing after maneauving myself in my car and attaching my seat belt without out tearing my long black Halloween fright night gown. 

We arrived at Rigby's Grill in Rehoboth.  It wasn't too crowded so we took a walk down Rehoboth Avenue to the boardwalk.  Along the way we encounted another Jason.

Along the way I gave several diners at the restaurants that line Rehoboth Avenue something to remember for the evening.  I stop and hovered around their dining tables.  They seemed to like that.  There were a multitude of smiles.  Apparently everyone was in a good mood this Halloween Night.

Then we reached the boardwalk.  The evening breeze was refreshing, coursing through the Spiderman type nettting on my face mask.  We saw some rowdy kids on the boardwalk so we didn't stay too long.  We didn't want to provide a handy target for any testostrone charge adolescent seeking to make his mark into manhood by bashing a fag.  Little red warning flags were popping up all over.

Back up Rehoboth Avenue and my friend Big Bob is running out of steam. We finally reach or destination of Rigby's Grill only to find it now packed shoulder to shoulder, elbow to elbow and ass to ass with like minded gay guys out tonight celebrating Halloween, some in costume.

As luck would have it I ran into two of my estranged neighbors, Don and Al. I had to go around them to get to the bar to order my drink. They looked and hesitated. How many tall (I'm 6'3") black hooded, blacked caped, red Masque of Deaths did they know? And, the fact that I wore the very same cape (I like wearing capes) last year might have given me away. But, Don hesitated, unsure of whom I was and let me pass without comment.

I reached the bar and thus began my long wait to order my Appletini martini. I'm standing at the bar in full costume, including the Red Masque of Death. How was I going to drink this martini? Very carefully.

I finally get my Appletini martini, with a straw. Uh huh, I tried to take a sip before I left the bar but only succeeded in getting most of the first gulp down the front of the black silky cloth hanging from my Red Masque of Death (oh, I love that name. Can you tell?)


As I worm my way from the bar to the back smoking (I don't smoke but I needed space) area outside so I could do some serious Martini sipping, I spilled about a quarter of my drink on some pour soul's head. Thank goodness I had my Red Masque of Death on. He looked at me and said "Is this part of your shtick?", or words to that effect. Now I'm down to half an Appletini martini. I needed air soon so I made a concerted effort to completely outside, past the designated smoking area to where the cars are parked.

I slurp down the rest of my Appletini martini and ask Big Bob, "Had enough?" He said he did. So, it was back to the car, make a left to Rehoboth Avenue, then a quick right before I could make another left in the traffic circle. I zipped through the circle (not too "zippy" though because the ever present Rehoboth Beach police was on duty to the side of the circle.) With the smell of a recently gulped down 2/3 rd's of an Appletini martini sloshing around in my stomach, I didn't this it a wise move this evening to take a sobriety test. Maybe some other time when the only liquid in me is ice tea or an occasional glass of water.

I take Big Bob home (he doesn't like to travel at night.) I come home. And here I sit writing about it. It was a good Halloween night but not as good as 1979. Maybe next year. Speaking of which, did the Phillies win?

Halloween 2009

The last time I went out on the town for Halloween was 1979.  I'm going out tonight. As in 1979,  I'm going out with my friend Big Bob, the same friend who I went out with back in 1979.  At that time I lived in Philadephia.  Big Bob lived in a suburb of Philadelphia.

I dressed in two different costumes:  The Wolfman and Scary Monster.  Bob dressed as Frankenstein both times.  We scared the bejusus out of many a patrons of the gay bars along the strip in Philadelphia last Halloween of the 70's.  Actually, the end of the 70's was the end of the Golden Era of gay bars.  The early 80's was when the Gay Plague (AIDS) entered the scene. 

Tonight we're going to try replicate that wonderful, carefree night out on the town.  Only this time we won't get drunk.  I'm driving.

Happy Halloween to one and all!