Medical Update

 

Delaware's right to die law takes effect January 1st, 2016.

Just got back from my annual checkup with my urologist. 

My PSA score has shoot up from 1.1 last year to 1.84 this year. That's the largest jump since I had prostate cancer surgery (seed implants) back in 2013.

It looks like my prostate cancer has returned.

We're going to do some more tests though. 

In six month's we will check my PSA score again. Also, we scheduling a PET-SCAN in June to see if the cancer has spread to other parts of my body.

I may need to get another biopsy procedure which I hate. At least this time I'll be put to sleep. Last time I was wide awake without any sedatives, not even a twilight one. It was hell. I never want to go through that procedure again without some kind of anesthesia.

How am I feeling now? A little bit shook up, of course. But I was expecting something like this eventually. I've had a good run since 2013 when I had the radioactive seed implants.

I hate getting on the medical treadmill again but my urologist said "we have several things up our sleeve to prolong your stay." One is hormone therapy. Yes, I want that one. I'll cross that bridge when I get to it.

As I've said many times before, I just hope I die in my sleep. I don't want to go through long, painful and uncomfortable procedures just to prolong my life by a few months or a year. 

Also, as I've mentioned before, Bill is in constant contact with me. He did give me the message "We'll be together soon." 

Face Plant

 

Yesterday, early evening, as I was returning to my house after checking my neighbors' mail (they're away for the holidays), I did a major face plant on the grass right in front of my back deck.

OUCH! 

Thank God I didn't do this face plant on my driveway, or else I would probably have done serious damage. 

What caused me to stumble and land face eating dirt pie was a rise in the ground where I have my drain pipe extensions. I just don't lift my feet enough.

I don't think I broke my nose but it is sore as can be. I also have a bruise under my left eye (I must have landed on an angle), slight scratch on my forehead and a slightly bloody nose. My nose is very sore.

The last time my nose was this sore was when I was about thirteen years old while I was playing basketball in my high school gym class and the basketball rebounded right under my nose. I think that basketball broke my nose because ever since then I've had a bump in my nose and nasal problems. I guess I should have gotten it fixed at that time to avoid the lifelong nasal drainage problems I've had ever since. But, water over the dam and all that.

This is the first big fall I've had in several months. 

I've been so careful. I know the Number One health hazard for older folks like me is falling. 

NUMBER ONE

If you'll remember about ten years ago I slipped and fell on the ice after leaving my job at the hotel where I worked and dislocated my left knee. Standing up with all my body weight I tore my left leg quadriceps  muscle. What a nightmare that was. I was out of commission for three months for the healing when I had to have surgery to tie that muscle back together. Back then Bill was well enough to take care of me. Now I'm all alone here at my house. Pat is in Canada with no plans soon to move down here in slower lower Delaware. We talk every day on FaceTime but that won't help me if I'm laid up. I'll just have to be more careful.

I know my problem is that I don't lift my feet enough when I'm walking. What's the solution, to walk around like I'm in a cow pasture avoiding cow patties?

The Day After

 

Rehoboth Beach Boardwalk December 2025

Phew! 

Finally, Christmas is over for another year. 

I am so relieved. 

I'll be honest with you folks, I really don't like Christmas. 

Sure, I like the pretty colors and some of the Christmas songs but so much I don't like, especially the forced "Peace on Earth" thing. We'll never have peace on earth. Always a battle between good and evil, good generally winning out but then the battle resumes.

The only thing that gives me hope is that I know there are good people in this world. People that care for other people, don't cheat and steal from them. Are kind to children and animals. There are a lot of those people. Then there are the Others. I won't go into that now other than to say that our country (America) is going through the most difficult time in our almost two hundred years history with the evil forces in charge of our government. Good will outlast this evil but not before a lot more damage is done. But this is life folks, one big learning exercise.

I just hope before I pass on from this earthy existence I live long enough to see these people who haves betrayed America held accountable for their traitorous and lawless actions. And the cowards who let this happen. They are beneath contempt. 

But enough of going down this negative road. We have another week of going through a retrospective of the last year (which I dread and hate each year when they do these retrospectives). 

Then we're off to a new year. 

I have a feeling this is my last Christmas, for which I am thankful. This Christmas was probably the worst for me in my eighty-four years. I got so depressed that all I wanted to do was sleep. I know this isn't what some people want to hear but it's the fact here at Casa Tipton-Kelly. 

Both of my neighbors on either side of me were gone. Even though we all basically keep to ourselves I did miss their activity. I treasure my quiet around here but it was really quiet this Christmas. Not even a church mouse........

Next blog post, more upbeat. I'm working on it. But you know me, I let flow what I'm thinking and right now I'm thinking I'm very glad this Christmas season is gone.

Christmas Day 2025

 

December 25, 2011. 

Here we are again folks. 

Another Christmas Day.

I hope everyone reading this blog post has a wonderful Christmas Day.

I will be spending my Christmas Day here at home by myself which is fine with me. Even when Bill was alive and I wasn't working, we always preferred staying at home for a quiet day. This year Bill is with me but in spirit only. 

Christmas Eve 2025

 Good Christmas Eve everyone!

Here I am alone at Casa Tipton-Kelly on this perhaps my last Christmas Eve. 

I had a nice quiet day. Did some more yard work and looked after both of my neighbors on either side who have traveled far and wide to celebrate Christmas with their families. I, who have no family (don't cry for me Argentina) will celebrate alone here at my wonderful, comfortable and low tax home here in southern coastal Delaware. Just the way I like it.

I talked to one of my old classmates earlier this evening and just got off FaceTime with Pat. 

This evening I made myself a stove top (as opposed to crock pot) beef stew. Delicious! I think I'm going to start a new Christmas tradition at this late stage of my life. Make home made, stove top beef stew. 

Now please excuse me while I update my online Scrabble games with Pat and I complete my New York Times games (Connections and Strands, I did Wordle earlier today).

Have a wonderful Christmas everyone!

The Eve of Christmas Eve 2025

 

Just came in from my walk around the neighborhood. All is quiet as a church mouse in the belfry (or something like that). 

My neighbors on either side of me are away celebrating Christmas in warmer climes (Florida and Georgia) than the thirty-one degree temperatures here in southern coastal Delaware. I'm collecting their mail and also checking in on the boy cat my neighbor left in charge of her house. My other neighbor took his poodle/Australian border collie mix with him. He said "We're joined at the hip. Where I go she goes." He said she's very well behaved. I think that is wonderful, his companion can go with him. Except when he goes fishing which is usually once a week, then I look in on her and talk her out for a pee break from her napping. 

I'm on FaceTime now with Pat, who is at his home in Hamilton, Ontario, Canada. No, we won't be spending Christmas together in person (that would be nice) but this works for us. Pat's planning on coming down to visit me again for a few weeks in early Spring, which as you know will be here before you can say "Ho! Ho! Ho!" There! I said it. I almost got through this Christmas season without hearing that phony Christmas cheer that somebody (I wonder who) laughs. Actually I've only heard the dreaded "HO! HO! HO!" Once in the background in a random Christmas commercial and of course my dear friend Spo sprinkles "HO! HO! HO!" sporadically throughout his Christmas season blog postings. Seriously though, have you ever heard anyone except Santa say "HO! HO! HO!" Me neither. Frankly I've heard more people say "BAH! HUMBUG! than "HO! HO! HO!" Thankfully, only a two more days and we can put this false cheer to rest for another year. Besides, with the current political chaos in America today (you all know what I'm talking about) I'm not in much mood to "HO! HO! HO!" Maybe next year when Trump is gone, and he will be gone because there is no way he's going to last anther year at the rate he's going now with his lawlessness, I'll be in a "HO! HO! HO" frame of mind.

Oh my, how did I delve into this? Time to go. Nicer thoughts tomorrow when it would have been my Mother's 103rd birthday. 

Note:

The photo at the beginning of this blog was taken about six or seven years ago during one of me and Bill's visits to Lowes. Oh how Bill loved to visit Lowes and Home Depot. I so miss our daily rides and visits to our local stores. 

One day soon Bill. 

Remembering Bill This Christmas

DEATH IS NOTHING AT ALL

December 14, 2021

Death is nothing at all.

It does not count.

I have only slipped away into the next room.

Nothing has happened.

Everything remains exactly as it was.

I am I, and you are you,

And the old life that we lived so fondly together is untouched,

     Unchanged.

Whatever we were to each other, that we still are.

Call me by the old familiar name.

Speak of me in the easy way which you always used.

Put no difference into your tone.

Wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow.

Laugh as we always laughed at the little jokes that we enjoyed together.

Play, smile,, think of me, pray for me.

Let my name be ever the household word that it always was.

Let it be spoken without an effort, without the ghost of a shadow upon it.

Life means all that it ever meant.

It is the same as it ever was.

There is absolute and unbroken continuity.

What is this death but a negligible accident?

Why should I be out of mind because I am out of sight?

I am but waiting for you, for an interval,

somewhere very near, 

Just round the corner

All is well.

Christmas - Five Days To Go!

 

Got all your Christmas shopping done? 

Me neither. 

In fact I don't Christmas shop. Haven't for years. Bill and I stopped exchanging gifts over forty years ago. We both had everything we wanted. As Bill often said "Christmas is for kids!" I agreed with him. 

Thinking back to my Christmases as a kid, I always felt let down. The promise was always more than the reality. I got over the "I wish I got this for Christmas" vibe by the time I was nine or ten. The only Christmas present I can remember that I truly enjoyed and appreciated was a Kodak camera. That started my picture taking journey which continues to this day with my iPhone. God! Imagine if I had received an iPhone when I was twelve years old. I would have literally over a million pictures, if not more. Maybe it's just as well I was born when I was (1941), when a Kodak Brownie camera was state of art.

I'm not complaining about "poor me" at Christmas time though. The things I fondly remember about Christmastime was the smell of the fresh Christmas tree (they cost about $5 then) and the bubble lights. I still have bubble light, over my fireplace mantle now.

When I got older and had money that I could buy presents I tried to capture the Christmas Spirit but alas, that spirit eluded me again. The promise was always more than the reality. I would often spend my whole Christmas bonus of a couple thousand dollars (this was in the Sixties when a couple thousand dollars could buy substantial Christmas presents) on my nieces and nephew and my parents. My father was always hard to buy for so I gave up after a couple years. My Mother was easy because she never brought anything for herself and she always appreciated what I got her. Probably because I put a lot of thought into her gift as well as her birthday gift which was on December 24th. My brothers? I have no idea what I bought them. I don't remember. Probably nothing. They had, like Bill, pretty much everything they wanted.

So this Saturday morning before Christmas I think of Christmases past and what always comes up is the promise wasn't the reality. Even the whole "Peace On Earth" myth. I figured that early on too.

So put me into the "Bah humbug!" category. I do like the 1950's black and white movie about Ebenezer Scrooge though. Not so much for the message but for the well crafted movie. 

These days of chaos with "you know who" (I can't bear to put his name in this post), Christmas means even less. I believe in the message of Christmas but my difference is to practice it all year not just at Christmastime. 

Christmas 2025

 

Kyle, Glenn and me at Rehoboth Beach, DE 2023

This photo popped up on my iMac screen saver this morning. 

It's a photo of my friends Glenn and Kyle from Palm Springs who visited me two years ago. 

Just another reminder of how fast time goes by.

In less than a week another Christmas will have passed. With all the turmoil in the world today it hardly seems like Christas anymore.

The only time this Christmas season I even felt "Christmasy" was when I visited my favorite thrift store and they were playing Christmas music. 

It was just a brief vibe, seeing all the somewhat worn Christmas decorations and listening to some old Christmas songs being played on a donated record player but enough to trigger my memories of happier Christmases. 

No Trip To Palm Springs This Year

 

Pat and me in West Hollywood January 7, 2015 - fun times!

Sad news to report. Neither Pat nor I will be making our annual trip to Palm Springs this year to celebrate Modernism Week.

This photo was taken ten years ago in West Hollywood, before we discovered Palm Springs. 

Every year in January we used to visit West Hollywood until one year a friend of ours (Nadege) suggested we visit Palm Springs. We decided to take her advice and made a one day trip to Palm Springs that year (I think the next year 2016). 

We fell in love with Palm Springs! We extended our stay one day but that wasn't enough. The next year we spent a week in Palm Springs. That still wasn't enough so the next year we spent our whole two weeks in Palm Springs. We continued to do so until COVID hit in 2019 then we took a four year absence. We returned last year and Palm Springs was delightful as always. However, I now have mobility problems plus I don't have the money to splurge on Palm Springs frivolities. I'm not working at the hotel and I now have to cover all my Casa Tipton-Kelly expenses myself. Oh sure, I received a $40 increase in my Social Security payment for next year but that's not enough (by a long shot) to cover a festive holiday in Palm Springs.

We may visit Palm Springs once more before I croak but in the meantime, this is just one of the many wonderful photos and videos I have of our winter holidays in California.

Rob Reiner

 

What a weekend this past weekend was for brutality. 

First there was yet another school shooting, this time at Brown University in Providence, Rhode Island. School shootings are becoming as American as apple pie and government lies. 

Then there was the awful massacre of Jews in Australia of which the only good thing that came out of that terrible tragedy was the heroism of one lone Muslim fruit and vegetable vendor who tackled one of the gunmen and took his rifle away saving who knows how many lives. That one lone man showed more courage than over four hundred cowboy hatted Texas Ranger policemen showed in Uvalde Texas who waited until a lone gunman emptied his high capacity weapons into mostly children and killing twenty one people (19 children and two teachers) before they summoned up enough "courage" to storm the shooter. And then as usual they have a press conference and go into an orgy of self congratulations for a job that they were supposed to do anyway. 

I want to say we live in dangerous times but the truth is that life on earth has always probably been dangerous. I think I'm safe to say that. 

I am thankful that when I went to school I didn't have to worry about being shot. My only worry was that those Russian Communists were going to drop an A-bomb on my elementary school but I knew I was "safe" hiding beneath my old timey wooden desk with metal legs bolted to the floor. No, not really! Even then my five year old mind figured out I was pretty much toast (melted) if an A-bomb was dropped on me. I saw the newsreel films at the Saturday matinees movies I used to attend at the Roosevelt Theater in Downingtown, Pennsylvania. But I am thankful that I didn't have to dodge a deranged shooter pissed off at the world because of what? He couldn't get girlfriends? But I digress.

Perhaps the saddest piece of news I heard this weekend was the death of Rob "Meathead" Reiner. I liked Rob Reiner. I never met him but I felt like I knew him personally. Some celebrity deaths hit me that way. Princess Diana and John F. Kennedy's deaths also affected me that way. I felt like they were genuine people. Good souls. I felt a profound sadness when I first read a posting on Threads last night that Rob Reiner and his wife were found stabbed to death at their home. The likely suspect was their son, who fought drug addiction for years. I could go on about the anomaly of children brought up in a privileged environment who succumb to drugs but I don't know the Reiner's particular situation so I won't. One thing I do know, a good soul left this earth yesterday in a very violent way. He and is wife. Rob Reiner also did a lot to cause same sex marriage to become reality. That and a whole lot more. 

Rest in peace Rob. Your memory will live on in glory. And thank you for being my friend, even though I never met you in person. I feel if I did you would be one of those celebrities (rare) that would actually look me in the eye and listen to what I have to say. 

You're in Heaven now Rob with your wife. Your time on earth was well done. You've earned your rest.

First Snow Of The Season

Me, today in the less than one inch of snow. God! I look old!

 

Today was the first snow of the season. 

Less than an inch. 

Just enough to pretty up things around her in southern coastal Delaware. 

I shoveled my driveway.

I didn't have a heart attack. 

Another School Shooting

 

Me, First Grade - 1947

At eighty-four years old I remember going to school and not having to worry about getting shot.

Winter Weather Advisory Tonight!

 

This was our lovely home in East Brandywine Township, Downingtown, Pennsylvania.

Bill and I enjoyed twenty-five glorious years living there from 1980 to 2005. 

We bought the land (6.875 acres) in 1976 for $25,000.

 Four years later we built our dream home for $125,000.

Twenty-five years later we could no longer afford to pay the very high Pennsylvania school/real estate taxes ($9,000 plus) a year. We had the misfortune to live in a highly rated school district.

To his dying day Bill would say how much he missed that home. Truth be told, I did too but I had to do what I did (move) because I just couldn't afford to pay those taxes which increased each year.

Today we have a winter advisory, which means the first significant snow of the year here in southern coastal Delaware. Whenever there is significant snow I think of Bill and our wonderful home in Pennsylvania. Bill used to love getting his snow blower out and clearing our five hundred yard driveway. 

Here's to you Bill. Some day again we will be rejoicing again in the reunion of our spiritual lives. 

Blue Spruce

 

Me, visiting our former property in Pennsylvania that went into foreclosure.

One of my all-time favorite trees is a blue spruce.

This photo was taken August 23, 2011 at our previous home in Pennsylvania. We had 6.875 acres of wooded land in East Brandywine Township in Downingtown, PA. Both Bill and I loved that property. We lived there for twenty-five years. We had to move because we could no longer afford the school/property taxes. 

Bill missed that property until the day he died. He was so happy when he lived there with me and our three Pomeranian pups. The mother, father and their puppy. Those were the days.

These days, as I near the end of my life, I think a lot about those wonderful seemingly never ending days when we lived our lives without the worries that we have today with American being slowly destroyed by the reckless and chaotic leadership of Donald Trump and his enablers and cult following. My MAGA brother still lives across the street from our former home, on separated by a small forest of trees. I guess he's happy, I wouldn't know because I haven't talked to him for about three years now. He's lost in the cult.

I remember when I bought that blue spruce tree. It was only a small (one foot) tree when I bought it at a local garden center. I always wanted a blue spruce tree. Over the years it grew up to be that wonderful, perfectly formed blue spruce. This photo was taken when Bill and I made one of our periodic visits after the buyer of our former home went into foreclosure. We visited maybe a dozen times before the new owners bought the place for a bargain price of $302,000 (we sold it for $500,000). One of the first things the new owners did was cut down that beautiful blue spruce tree. 

This is what I do these days folks, when I spend most days living here in Delaware in my solo existence. Oh sure, I married Pat but he continues to live at his home in Hamilton, Ontario Canada. He can't sell his home until the housing market improves. He also took a big loss like I did on his previous home sale. Something else we have in common. I talk to him every day on FaceTime but I do live alone here in southern Delaware and that's just fine with me. But I have to admit, I do miss my previous life with Bill. I thought those days would never end. But they did. I feel like I'm in a transition period now until I rejoin him in Heaven. 

This I know, I will die one day. We all do. I also know that one of two things will happen when I die. Either my spirit will go on to my eternal home or there will be nothing. The latter I don't believe at all but there is that possibility I guess. I've been pretty brainwashed my whole life so I cannot completely dismiss that possibility. But there are stars in the sky and that means something. 

One day. Not too long now.

Army Days April 1960

Me (far right with hands over ears) at Ft. Devens, Mass Army Security Agency Training School

This is me (far right with hands over my ears) with my two Army buddies at the Army Security Agency training school at Ft. Devens, Mass April 1960. This photo was taken during a break between classes. We were joking around about the "Hear No Evil, Speak No Evil, and See No Evil" monkeys. I didn't realize how prophetic this picture would be in today's political climate where soldiers may be following illegal orders. I know me and my buddies wouldn't. We were taught not to obey illegal orders.

Christmas Cards 2025

Today I renew my annual tradition of preparing and mailing Christmas cards.

Every year I debate "Is this the last year I mail cards?" And my answer is always the same "No."

Over the years my Christmas card mailing list has dwindled from sixty plus cards to about twenty-five. This year I'm aiming for only twenty cards.

One of the reasons I mail less Christmas cards is that I am outliving so many people I used to mail Christmas cards. Sad isn't it? But there are still a few people like two of my old bosses I've been exchanging Christmas cards with for forty some years now. I can't stop now. We have to let each other know we're still alive. Plus, I would like to know how they're doing.

In my Christmas cards I usually put a note of how I am doing. This year I will include a picture of me and Pat taken on our wedding day. I have to share the good news with my longtime friends of how lucky I am to share the rest of my life with this wonderful Canadian man. Not many people are as fortunate as I am, to marry a good-looking and good hearted man like Mr. Flynn. Another point of interest, my two husbands were both of Irish ancestry. When I was growing up gay I thought I would be attracted to Latin men but with the exception of one Manuel Lopez, a Cuban boat immigrant that I had a brief flight with in the early Seventies, I've never been involved with a man of Latin origin. Interesting isn't it. Not that I don't find them attractive, I do but my life just didn't work out that way. These hot Irish guys, what can I say? We just click. But I digress.

Who is left on my Christmas card mailing list are four former bosses (I always maintain good relationships with my former bosses), friends from far and a way that I've accumulated over the years and a few neighbors. The neighbor one I question because they're right next door and I can walk out my door and put my Christmas card in their mailbox, which is what I did last year. I used to mail quite a few Christmas cards to relatives but most of them are either dead or I have lost contact with them. I do have a surviving brother but he's MAGA and we haven't spoken in a few years now and he's soured his children (my nieces and nephews) on me so he's off my list. Sad but true. 

So let me be on my way with getting started on addressing these cards. 

Have a great day everyone and if you don't receive a Christmas card from me, I wish you a wonderful Christmas!

"Boots"

 

Me, 1960, Army Basic Training Fort Dix, New Jersey

I'm watching the Netflix series "Boots". It's about a young gay man who joins the Marines and his experiences at boot camp. 

This morning I was brought to tears when I witnessed his experience with tear gas. Literally brought to tears because it reminded me of my own experience.

This whole show almost mirrors my experiences in Army basic training when I joined the army at eighteen years old in January of 1960. In fact those experiences are so uncanny I almost suspect a Hollywood script writer read some of my previous blog postings on this blog and inserted them into the story of this young gay man in this Netflix series "Boot Camp." Seriously. 

Two nights ago there was a fire watch episode. That was my experience with a few minor changes. That's when I became convinced that this Hollywood script writer probably read my own basic training experiences.  Now if there is an episode that comes. up with the hand grenade, I'm suing. Actually not, but then I will be convinced that I was the inspiration for this series. I'm serious.

Leaky Toilet Fixed!

 

Before

Something that has been bothering me the past few weeks is my leaky toilet. 

Here at Casa Tipton-Kelly, there is always something that needs looking after. Get one thing fixed and another thing pops up. Like whack-a-mole. 

I noticed a couple of weeks ago that there was a trickle of water seeping into my toilet bowl after I used it. Oh no. Here we go, another home maintenance project. This is the kind of thing that Bill always used to take care of. Yes, I had a live in handyman for over fifty years. Needless to say I was spoiled. Spoiled rotten some would say. When Bill started to lose his eyesight I had to start learning some basic handyman jobs. And you know me, this is not my milieu. I'm a charmer. My speciality is shopping. Not fixing things. 

I was especially reluctant to hire a plumber at random. For years I had a contract with a local service company but when their servicemen went on commission three years ago and I realized I was being taken advantage of, I dropped them. That's another whole story. I sign up for a service agreement at $260 a year but I'm still spending a couple thousand dollars a year replacing parts. I did a little research and found out the big home service companies when the repairman commission route. 

I thought I could fix this water trickle problem myself but to no avail. I replaced the ball. I replaced the flapper. I adjusted and adjusted and adjusted, and still a trickle of water seeped into my toilet bowl. 

During my research I discovered I had the old type of fixture in my toilet tank. What? Why is it everything I have "old", including me. Everything old is wearing out, including me. 

I checked YouTube and tried to fix it myself to no avail. I called my widowed neighbor and asked him to look at it. He's couldn't fix it either and only succeeded in breaking the arm to the floater ball. I don't need this. I got a new arm for the floater ball and had one helluva time getting the new it attached. One thing, it's all butch work. A long way away from baking pies for this sensitive gay guy. Finally I gave in and asked my neighbor who has a friend who is a plumber to install one of those new systems without the floater ball. He did that this morning and now my toilet works fine! 

After

Not a sexy story but another day in the Life of Ron On His Own. 

One day at a time folks. One day at a time.