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| Delaware's right to die law takes effect January 1st, 2016. |
Just got back from my annual checkup with my urologist.
My PSA score has shoot up from 1.1 last year to 1.84 this year. That's the largest jump since I had prostate cancer surgery (seed implants) back in 2013.
It looks like my prostate cancer has returned.
We're going to do some more tests though.
In six month's we will check my PSA score again. Also, we scheduling a PET-SCAN in June to see if the cancer has spread to other parts of my body.
I may need to get another biopsy procedure which I hate. At least this time I'll be put to sleep. Last time I was wide awake without any sedatives, not even a twilight one. It was hell. I never want to go through that procedure again without some kind of anesthesia.
How am I feeling now? A little bit shook up, of course. But I was expecting something like this eventually. I've had a good run since 2013 when I had the radioactive seed implants.
I hate getting on the medical treadmill again but my urologist said "we have several things up our sleeve to prolong your stay." One is hormone therapy. Yes, I want that one. I'll cross that bridge when I get to it.
As I've said many times before, I just hope I die in my sleep. I don't want to go through long, painful and uncomfortable procedures just to prolong my life by a few months or a year.
Also, as I've mentioned before, Bill is in constant contact with me. He did give me the message "We'll be together soon."
12 comments:
"My PSA score has shoot up from 1.1 last year to 1.84 this year. That's the largest jump since I had prostate cancer surgery (seed implants) back in 2013.
It looks like my prostate cancer has returned.
We're going to do some more tests, though. "
For the layman out there, this may seem odd since a man with no prior history of prostate cancer would want their PSA to be below 4.0. As men get older, one would age-adjust the results.
I gather that your baseline post-treatment of 1.1 to 1.84 is alarming for your urologist. I understand that. Normally, you would want your numbers to be close to zero.
Let's not get the cart before the horse and breath. Let's see what other tests tell us. The numbers may be a blip. You may not even have a recurrence. Most prostate cancer is slow-growing, and it is not like you're going to be riddled with cancer by May Day. Let's lean on your physician's recommendations. Mention biochemical recurrence to your urologist and see what he says. Also, remember other factors, such as prostatitis and BPH can cause a spike in your PSA.
Once again, let's breathe, cross our t's and dot our i's, and let your urologist rule things out or in.
Nothing but the best for you.
Vic,
Thank you for your support. I'm still processing this news. I have to admit I was expecting it though. Lately I've been having too many signs that a change was about to happen in my life. I'm hoping this is a "blip" but I'm preparing myself that it isn't. One thing that gives me a lot of relief is that as of January 1st, 2026 Delaware's right to die lie goes into effect. I don't want to die but if and when I do die, I don't want it to be a long and lingering death in which I put out a lot of people who have to suffer along with me. I've seen and heard of too many prostate cancer deaths that way, especially ones where the prostate cancer came back. Knowing that I can have some control over my passing takes a load off of my mind. Now to process all the other information. I'm not afraid of being dead, just how I get there.
Thanks again for your support
Ron
Oh, Ron. What dreadful news! To have such devastating potential hanging over you and all-consuming in your mind you while you await further results can't be dismissed, of course, at least until you truly KNOW. I do most profoundly wish you to get somewhat better news quickly so you can get on with life without carrying this weight around. Thinking of you - though if only it could be more than just 'thinking'.
Yup, just” don’t want to be in pain.” A mantra. That said, glad you and the doctors are on it., and that you have some control. Best wishes, Olivia
Biochemical recurrence is usually defined as a PSA 2 points above the nadir (minimum value) for those who have had a primary radiation treatment. Whatever your nadir is, the current figure is clearly away from it. Maybe your urologist has overreacted to what it may appear to be a mild increase; who knows if it is only noise. Anyway, good 2026, and try to get free from so many negative thoughts.
Ron, I agree with VR. Is it you surmising that the cancer came back or your doctor? I hope you try not to let these anticipated tests hang over your mind until then.
It seems like you have a feeling life is going to end soon, but try not to make meaning out of everything that comes up as if that’s a clue. Let the moment tell you. You’re still active and independent, try to focus on living and soaking it in.
Ron, I shall be aged 89 in just two weeks. You are a stripling.
In the middle of the year I was diagnosed with prostrate cancer, severe enough kill me within five years. I can't have the radium inserts. I am too old. So starting on Monday I am to be zapped six times with radiation. I am having the six a week apart to lessen the impact on my body. I am promised five years of non-cancerous life - until I am aged about 94.
I have had some weeks ago a six-chapter book about a gay journalist-historian accepted for publication. It should come out this year.
I am now working on a biography Tommy Lister. Google "John Singer Sargent Lord Ribblesdale" and you will see why "The Ancestor" is so fascinating, being the embodiment of English aristocracy.
I am determined to complete it before death takes me. Roderick
Ray,
thank you for you concern. I'm not overly concerned with this hanging over my head. If anything, the thought of a recurrence of my prostate cancer has been on my mind ever since 2013. I'm actually a bit surprised that it took so long to (probably) come back. I just want to make sure, that's why I'm waiting six months until I get tested again. I've already made my appointment for my Pet-Scan in June. Life goes on in the meantime. My appreciative of course.
Ron
Olivia,
Oh I've been in pain a lot in different periods in my life. I just don't want my final months, weeks, days and hours to be in pain. We treat our animals better when they're old. We don't keep them lingering until death finally takes them. It's about time states and the United States be realistic about life and death.
Ron
I'm not quite sure what you're saying other than my urologist may have overreacted but that's one reason I'm waiting another six months until I give blood again to check my PSA and take a PET-SCAN, just to make sure. Six months won't make that much difference.
Ron
Jardley,
My doctor is concerned for the high jump in my PSA from last year, almost doubled. PSA is an indicator of prostate cancer, especially that kind of increase over a year. Ever since my first diagnosis of prostate cancer in 2013 and my subsequent surgery, I've been expecting my prostate cancer to return. I'm not sure if this is happening now but it seems to be an indication. In the meantime I a focused on living each moment to the utmost. I don't take anything for granted now, especially independent living. But I also don't want to be on a medical treadmill the rest of my life and end up like my younger brother who had his caner "cured" but died anyway because all his organs failed. He went through over three years of all kinds of treatments, experimental and standard even at the Cleveland Clinic where his daughter drove him from their home in South Carolina. All for naught unless you count those three years that he was constantly going to the doctors' for treatments only to end up with organ failure. I'm not going to go that route if I see that's what is in store for me.
Ron
Roderick,
I wish you the very best in your treatment. We all have to choose what we feel is best for us and what we want to accomplish in life and the kind of life we want our final years to be. I don't want mine to be like my younger brother who underwent all kinds of treatment, both standard and experimental, for his blood cancer only to die from organ failure from the treatments. And oh yes, they said the cancer was gone. But he's dead. Organ failure. Not a path I will choose should I come to that decision.
Ron
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