Friday, December 05, 2014

Getting "It"

Again, one of my favorite blogger friends has given me an idea for a blog posting.  He was writing about "getting it."  Of course, the vision that came to my mind at it's usual residence in the gutter, was that he was talking about SEX.  Oh yes, SEX.  Yes, I said it . . . SEX.

After I was about halfway through his blog post about not "getting it" I started to realize he wasn't talking about sex but probably food, which he was.  Junk food.  Sodium laced, carbohydrate ladened, useless junk food.  Funny stuff that.  

But back to the subject at hand of "not getting it."  When I was very young I wasn't getting "it" at all.  I wasn't one of those sexually abused youths.  After all the revelations of celebrities and such of being sexually abused by priests, relatives and strangers I wonder what was wrong with me. But then I came to the conclusion that most people aren't sexually abused or even introduced to sex at a young age.  I'm probably all wrong in that assumption but that's what I believe.

I my case I wasn't introduced (lost my virginity) to sex until I was 21 years of age.  I didn't plan it that way, it was just that I didn't know how to go about it.  Back in the Fifties, when I was an adolescent, there wasn't any kind of sex education.  Nada.  Nothing.  Zip.

I've written about my First Time in an earlier blog post so I won't go into detail here but I was seduced by a "much older" (he was 29) married man (three very small children, one of whom read my original blog post and contacted me much to my surprise).  

How was my experience?  I didn't know such pleasure was possible.  So this is WHAT all the fuss was about?  YES!  Looking back on that first experience now it was a bit jerky (no pun intended) but still, doors opened to me to a whole new world.  Unimaginable pleasures that I had no inkling about.  So this is what they write all the songs about?

Over the years since that fateful encounter on that spring day in 1963, I have experienced the high and lows of unrequited love, sex, lust, bacchanal, and then a long period of contented (and safe) celibacy. 

There was that one time on my 39th birthday that I was standing in the 247 bar in Philly at ten minutes to two when the bartender flashed the lights on and yelled "Last Call! Last Call!"  I looked around at those now illuminated tired desperate faces that remained in the bar, clutching their half empty beer bottles and wet napkin wrap glasses of gin and thought "What am I doing here?  I would rather be home sleeping."

And I left the bar scene folks.  Left it.  Didn't miss it.  Never went back.  Oh, maybe a few times thirty years later after I moved to Rehoboth Beach Delaware but then only to play pool.  Never again the gay Cruise-a-thon that I did for almost twenty years during my Philadelphia Era.

Then something very interesting happened.  About a year an a half ago someone saw my photo on the Internet (from my testimony before the Delaware State Legislature for marriage equality).  He liked what he saw.  He did an Internet search and found my blog.  He read my blog and liked what he read.  He made a comment on my blog and I just happened to be on the other end and I answered.  He was surprised.

After a few comments I suggested FaceTime. Nothing more was in my mind other than talking to a nice guy, like I talk to a few other "nice guys" (no sexual interest) that I know on FaceTime.  

During one of our conversations I made an offhand remark "If you're ever down this way (Rehoboth Beach) we'll have to get an old time photo."  Much to my surprise he came down.  

Then I met him.  In the parking lot of the Hotel Blue. In fact I thought he was the parking lot attendant (that's another whole story) and didn't present my best face to him.  

Well, one thing led to another and I have since made a new friend.  In fact, we're simpatico in so many areas we're often mistaken for brothers.  

Now I'm still married and I plan to remain married.  I still love Bill and will always love Bill.  But you know folks, it's always nice to make new friends, even at my advance stage of life.  When my body and looks are starting to leave me.  I'm telling you, it sure is nice to know that life still goes on.  

Sex is so superficial folks. Any body can have sex, even with yourself.  But you know what is really good?  To have a deep and abiding friendship.  To respect and enjoy each other's company.  I'm getting it now folks.  Best ever.  All those years of looking in bars.  Traveling to P-town.  Nothing.  Then out of the blue.  So you just never know folks.  I'll take this any day over ramadan noodles.



Jay M. said...

Pretty profound, Ron. And yeah, I get it. I think (hope) I am on the same path that you've discovered. True friendship. My problem is that I am so inexperienced at this (sex is another matter), that I am afraid of f***ing it up on every turn. I hope my time is here!

Peace <3

Ur-spo said...

ramen noodles, that is
For those of us not getting any/it, ramen noodles aren't too bad a substitute. Chocolate is also good to sublimate the libido.

Ron said...

Dr. Spo,
When I was a young man, with a libido barely under control, I would never have believed that at 73 I would still be going full steam Of course I did have a 30 year "intermission" but "it" was worth waiting for. If this keeps up I'm going to actually believe there is a Greater Power. As for ramen noodles, my version is Doritos chips. Gave them up this summer. Haven't missed them since. Life is good. Real good.

Ron said...

I have a feeling "its" going to happen for you. You're too nice of a guy with so much to offer for "it" not to happen.

pat888 said...


Sometimes, I guess, great events happen to us when least expected. Often, in fact, that's how great and profound discoveries are made!


Ur-spo said...

Doritos ! What a great idea! Almost as good as ramen.