Wednesday, May 08, 2013

Thank you Delaware!

A state that treats all of its citizens equally

God I am glad I live in Delaware! 

I was hard at work last night at the hotel training a new front desk clerk when the news came through that the Delaware State senate passed the Marriage Equality bill 12 to 8.  We were both so busy with the phones and what not, that I didn't have a chance to get on my Facebook account to express my utter joyfulness of this awesome news!

Delaware Governor Markell signs Marriage Equality Bill in Legislative Hall immediately after passed by the state senate - this is my kind of governor!
I cannot describe the feeling that went through my body when I heard that Delaware is now the 11th state that recognizes marriages between same sex couples.  That Delaware is now the 11th state that recognizes me and Bill as equal human beings, entitled to be married and with the dignity and protections accorded to other Americans.  

Delaware become the 11th state to pass marriage equality

There are only three time before in my life that I had this "electricity" of good feeling run through my body.

Lisa Goodman, Mark Purpua and the fine folks of Marriage Equality Delaware that made it happen.  Thank you folks!

The first time was when I entered my first gay bar in the small town of Clairton, PA in the winter of 1963 and saw men dancing with men.  That was the first time I realized that I wasn't "alone."

The second time was when I meet Bill.  Here was a man (and I use "man" in every sense of the word,  no offense to my effeminate gay brothers) who liked me for me and wanted to spend the rest of his life with me.  I knew there was something special when I met Bill and I was destined to spend the rest of my life with him.  I knew I was "chosen". 

The third time was the first time I visited the popular gay resort of Provincetown, Mass. in 1974.  For the first time in my life I saw gay couples walking down the street hand in hand, arm around shoulders, and without the disproving and disgusting looks of the straight people in the street.

And then there was last night.  The fourth time I felt that "electricity" go through my whole body which reinvigorated me.  The only thing I can came that feeling of is the near death experience that many have reported of seeing a light that is all enveloping and welcoming.  Last night I felt that feeling again and man oh man, what a wonderful feeling.

YES!  Governor Markall signs HB75, Marriage Equality

There are so many to thank for making marriage equality a reality in Delaware.  Let me say it best by thanking all those who worked so hard an diligently to make it possible for me and Bill and for all the other same sex couples (male and female) in Delaware now to be recognized as equal citizens and human beings under the law.  No more feeling "less than."

Governor Markell holds up signed Marriage Equality bill
And just one one thing and I hesitate to introduce a negative feeling in this feel good posting but I do have to say I am SO THANKFUL that I don't live in one of those state (and you know who you are) that continue to discriminate and treat its gay men and woman as unequal and "less than".  Hey states, "separate but equal" doesn't cut it today.  Hell, I don't expect those states to come around anytime soon (some of them are still fighting the Civil War) but in time they will become aware that history is leaving them behind in the dark shadows of hate and ignorance.  And to my gay brothers and sisters who have the misfortune to live in those state (and you DO KNOW who you are), God I hope you get out of those states that do not appreciate or value you as human beings.  I was born and grew up in the beautiful state of Pennsylvania but there is no amount of money or persuasion that would ever get me back to that state with their discriminatory treatment of its gay citizens.  That's one reason I moved to Delaware in 2006, to get away from a neighbor who approached Bill one day and said "You make my wife feel uncomfortable so would you please not visit us?" Or the new neighbor who asked me when I went over to introduce myself "Are you gay?" Or the other neighbor whose two children plus to other neighborhood children were standing on the border of our adjoining properties one day chanting "F__gs' get out!"  (I called the police and the kids sent me a written apology which I still have).  That is the kind of state I don't want to live in during what years I have remaining on this earth. 

This is what love looks like folks.  This is the kind of state that I want to live and die in.  No more living in a state that hates me and doesn't value me as an equal citizen and human being.  
 Delaware is the kind of state I want to live in during my final act.  Look at the picture of Delaware Governor Markell signing the Marriage Equality Bill.  He signed that bill minutes after it passed the Delaware State senate.  That's the kind of governor and the kind of state I want to live in.  

Joy from the rafters at the Delaware State Senate building at the moment of the passage of the bill - wish I was there

Thank you to Lisa Goodman, Mark Purpua, and Chuck Meade and all those who worked so tirelessly to make marriage equality a reality in Delaware.  And thank you to those state representatives and state senators (of which my representative and senator voted AGAINST which is a travesty because both of them represent the largest gay population in Delaware but that issue will be addressed later at the ballot box) who voted for HB75, the Marriage Equality bill to treat all of Delaware's citizens to the full dignity, respect and protections under the law.  Yesterday was indeed a dream come true.  

My friend Howard goofing it up at a wedding in redneck country (Sussex County, DE) many years ago.  Now Howard can get married for real.  Only one "small detail", we have to find him a husband. Go Howard! 


anne marie in philly said...

then vote your state rep and senator OUT at the next election. because they DO NOT represent you!

I think this is fantastic news for you and bill, mark and joe, steven and thad, the 2 bobs, bonnie and fay, and all the other couples who will now be recognized as equal.

not only do you have to find howard somebody, but the cajun too!

Amanda said...

That is just wonderful and I am happy for you and Bill! Go Delaware!!!!

David Jeffreys said...

Congratulations for your support and hard work to make this dream of yours come true!

Someday, we will all live in a state like Delaware.


Ron said...

Anne Marie,

Now there is an idea, hook up my friend Howard with The Cajun. They have never meet. I think I will arrange that! Thanks for the suggestion.


Ron said...

Thank you Nadege!

Ron said...

Thank you David. Marriage equality is indeed a dream come true. To be treated as equal is a great feeling. I hope too that your state and all the other states who are so busy passing laws of discrimination against same sex couples come to their senses and make marriage equality a reality in their states also.


Jon said...

This is truly fantastic news and I can feel the electricity all the way over here in redneck Texas.

(Hey, you have another thing to be thankful for: this is the shortest comment I've ever written on your blog!)

Will J said...


Ditto what David Jeffreys said. Thank you to you and your Bill for living your lives with integrity so that others may see that we are not "less than." Thank you also for showing up at the legislature and telling your story and offering your testimony. Thank you to your Bill for supporting your efforts.

Good job!

Now, I foresee a new side business for you and Anne Marie as the Gay Yentas of the mid-Atlantic states. Somebody in an act of kindness should at least warn Howard and the Cajun. ;-)

Geo. said...


Raybeard said...

Incredibly happy for you and Bill, Ron - as well as for ALL fair-minded citizens of your state. I'm sure your own efforts contributed in no small way to making it happen. Looking forward, with all the best wishes I can muster, to seeing your posting of your dream-day being realised at last.

Btw: I've had to glide over your recent postings about your physical travails as I get very queasy reading such details. (If it had been me undergoing those tests there'd be no need to put me out with anaesthetics!) Although no 'fun' was experienced I do hope your situation as at now is not such that will cloud the happy days ahead, and that you'll really appreciate (as I've heard it described) the 'warm blanket effect' of being married.

Anonymous said...

Congratulations to Delaware! Great work done by you and Marriage Equality Delaware. By the way, this is one of the reasons my husband and I are considering Delaware for our retirement as well. We want to live in a state that would welcome our son and his husband when they come to visit.

I hope you are feeling better and all side effects will diminish soon. You've been through the wringer!

Take care, Judy (in NY)

Ron said...

Judy (in NY),

Delaware is a great state to live in. Not only for the low taxes and mild climate but because Delaware is an all inclusive state that recognizes that all its citizens are equal. I could never live again in a state that doesn't recognize me and Bill as equal citizens. I've lived to many years of my life of being treated as "less than". At this time of my life I just don't have the patience for being treated like that anymore. And I won't.

Thank you again for your comment. You husband and son will be welcome in Delaware.


Ron said...


"Fair-minded citizens" is a great way of putting it. We still have our share of folks who still think that gay people are "less than" and not deserving of equal treatment. But thank God our governor and government does think all Delaware citizens are to be treated equally.

My "situation" is improving everyday. I am so thankful that I am no longer peeing razorblades but I still have a way to go. Still in significant pain and discomfort but nothing that isn't manageable. For a while there I didn't think I could manage those painful urinations.

Thank you for your comment.


Ron said...

Thank you Geo.!


Ron said...

Will J.

For many years now I have refused to live my life as "less than" which has angered more than a few of my neighbors, co-workers and others that I encounter during my daily living. Those who don't understand that I didn't chose the so called "gay lifestyle" have always used gay self hate and humiliation as a cudgel to maintain their oppression and power over us. Now that I live in a state where the governor and lieutenant governor as well as the attorney general recognize and support that its gay citizens are just as equal as all the other citizens of our state, I feel I am finally free. Of course all is not perfect. Both of my local representatives (state representative and state senator) voted against the marriage equality bill in spite of the fact that both of them represent a district in Delaware that has the heaviest gay population. I am very disappointed in both of them, neither of which had the common courtesy even to answer or acknowledge my personal handwritten letters to them urging them to support marriage equality. We've come a long way in Delaware but we aren't finished yet. There are still those who believe their fellow citizens who happen to be gay should continue to be treated as less than. That attitude too will end. They shouldn't be in office.


Ron said...


This is a great feeling! Still a lot of folks in Delaware who still believe gays should be treated as less than but we will continue the fight, including voting out of office those who voted against marriage equality including my local senator and representative, who both represent the largest gay population in Delaware. They don't need to be in office anymore.


Breenlantern said...

Oh, condone. Meeting me had toast least been a little spark *snicker.*

So happy for your state, you guys, and this country!


Jeff said...

So did it make you have to pee? ;-)

Ron said...


I am so proud of Delaware and very happy that this is the state where I decided to retire. A state that values and respects ALL of its citizens.


Ron said...


I'm just about back to normal on the peeing, thank God.


Ur-spo said...

And you were part of it happening; how wonderful!

Ron said...

Dr. Spo,

I am so happy I was asked to help.