Tuesday, August 24, 2010

What Was I Thinking?

Cloudy skies in Rehoboth, hit the malls!

Good question.

Today the skies here at the beach are overcast.  Rain is threatening?  So what do I do this afternoon after stopping a Food Lion?  I decide to pay a quick visit to the outlet mall to pick up a couple new pair of Reebok Walkers.  Oh God, what was I thinking?

One of the cardinal rules in the summertime here at the beach, other than stay as far away from the beach as possible during the middle of a hot, sunny, summer day is never......NEVER go to the outlet malls when the sky is overcast.  Why?  That's when the Horde (aka the "summertime crowd") hits the outlet malls.

Your eyes are not deceiving you, there are NO PARKING SLOTS LEFT

I'm blaming my lapse of judgment on the fact that I just got up from a hour afternoon nap.  Otherwise I would never have put myself in that vortex that is the outlet malls at Rehoboth Beach on an overcast summer day.

More cars arrive at the outlet mall - good luck finding a parking slot

Rule Number One:  There is no available parking.

Rule Number Two: Whatever item you're looking for, they're going to be out of it.

Rule Number Three:  You'll never find a salesperson.

All three of the above rules applied today.

Shoppers at an orgy of spending at the outlet mall this afternoon

I did not find parking.  I had to park at the adjoining mall (Super Fresh mall)

There it is!  The Reebook store (to the far right of the picture) My trek is almost completed

I DID NOT find my Reebok Walkers, size 12, 2 EE wide.  Nope. No way.  They were out.

I DID NOT find or even see a sales person in the whole store.  I think they were all hiding out in the back until the Horde left.

With my Mission Unaccomplished (I briefly considered getting size 11 but they only had one and it was get one, get the second one for half price), my next goal was to GET OUT OF THERE.

Lots of shoppers, no sales people and merchandise pretty well picked over

So I tippy toe to my car in the NEXT MALL parking lot (about 15 minutes away - I can always use the exercise) and plan my escape.

How to get out of here?  Do I want to exit and continue south on Rt. 1 and then take my chances making a U-turn (which is legal in Delaware.)  I decide against this course of action.  No need to put my brand new 2010 red Subaru Forester in more danger than I have already put it in.

I decide to go out the Super Fresh mall the back way and make the exit on the far side.  At least I have the light with me.

Then I enter the slow lava flow that is called Summertime Traffic on Route 1 in Rehoboth Beach.

I head north to my home, three miles up Rt. 1 and to the left.

As is usually the case, I get stuck behind a truck with God Knows What They Are Dragging.

My view on the way home - looks like my last move

Of course on the way home I have cars cutting me off and darting to the right and left of me.

This is normal traffic on Rt. 1 in the height of the summer season.  The Crazies are out.

I make it home unscathed.  I'm not a religious person but I'll say it anyway:

Thank you Jesus!


Mark said...

Sorry, I know that there was a point to this post but I got all wobbly in the knees when you mentioned your size 12 shoe. The rest was a blur.

Ron said...

A clarifying note. This post was my feeble attempt at humor. We locals down here in LSD appreciate all the business the touristas bring to our little section of the country. Without them we would not have the quality of life that we live in this wonderful part of the country. Thank you the Horde!

Ron said...

Thanks Mark! My first LOL of the day. By the way, I have big hands too. This old wive's tale is true. :)

G said...

Hey, I wear a size 12 also. Sometimes I need a 13. After all I am a full blooded OKIE.

Ron said...


Sometimes a size 13 huh? Hmmmm.... You're bigger than I am. My real size is 11 1/2 but I find that size hard to find so I go with 12.

By the way, did you read Tom's comment on my blog posting where I posted that picture of you in your brown plaid shirt? He said you were a "dreamboat." I concur. :)


G said...

I think you mean Sam, he has the blog "Lazy Circles". He has one of my favorite blogs. I have been visiting his blog for almost two years. I told him about you and that you had a great blog and that you and he were both in the Army. And if I had a better memory I may have found out about you last year on his list of favorites.

nitewrit said...


Man, you've been posting up a storm lately. I always seem to be one behind, which is fine because I look forward to your posts.

Now if we can get off shoe size (11, 11-1/2, 12 depending on make) your mall-in-the-summer-at- Rehoboth brings up the one dread ahead. I work at perhaps the largest mall in the state and in a couple mouths the Christmas shopping season starts. I can hardly wait for the jammed parking lots and traffic on and off I-95.


Ron said...

You're right. I did mean Sam of Lazy Circles. I believe he is from Dallas Texas. Thanks.

Ron said...

You noticed that I've been posting up a storm lately? I have more posts but I didn't want to do more than one a day. I start tripping over myself then.

I sympathize with you where you work. In about a month the Halloween stuff comes out and then the Christmas schlock isn't too far behind.

We get a little bit of that down here in LSD, but the worst is now. After Labor Day, and the kiddies go back to school, we get our town back. I can't wait.