Learning a New Humility

Today I learned a new level of humility.  Ever go shopping and have to dodge those handicap vehicles?  I have and to be honest with you, I'm usually annoyed.  No more. This morning I learned a new level of humility when I conceded the only way I was going to shop at B.J. Wholesale Club (me and Bill's main source of vitals) was to ride one of those dang things.

I was going to give Bill a shopping list but I knew that wasn't going to work.  Every time in the past I've asked him to get even one item in the store, he ALWAYS gets the wrong thing.  I just had too many things to get today plus I wanted to stock up so I wouldn't have to go as often since I'm wearing this leg brace.

So check out the video folks.  I have been humbled. By the way, shopping from one of those vehicles isn't all that easy either.  Reaching and looking at items, difficult when you're sitting that low.  And halfway through the shopping I thought I would have to abandon my vehicle because it wasn't running.  Thank goodness the green light came on again and I was able to traverse the five football field lengths of B.J.'s (which never seemed that long before my leg injury).



 This morning started out with a jolt. I awoke at 7:30 and realized my appointment at the healthcare campus was at 8:30 for my MRI.  No breakfast for The Injured this morning. 

Again, thank goodness for Bill.  I dressed quickly and Bill helped to get me in the back seat of my car.  Bill's driving now.  Usually I drive but who knows when I'll be driving again.  What do people who live by themselves do when they're in the condition I'm in?  I am so lucky in so many ways. 

Bill drives me down to the healthcare campus.  Of course I hobbled into the wrong building.  I always do.  I've been to this campus many times over the past few years. It's where I had my seed implants.  Also various tests and it is also were my dermatologist is located.  Oh yes, I've been cut, inserted, tested at this location plenty of times and yet, I always seem to get the wrong building.  

As I said, I hobbled over to the correct building rather than get in the car and get out, which would actually take longer.

They took me right away at the testing area.  Ever have an MRI?  It is LOUD.  Thirty plus minutes in a tube and LOUD.  What's with the LOUD?  The technician asked me what kind of music I liked so I could wear earphones to drown out some of the LOUD.
I said "anything but rap and folk music."  She choose "Fifties".  Gee, I wonder why.  So while listening to Bobby Darin singing "splash splash I was taking a bath . . . . " I was further radiated.  Heck, I gave up years ago having babies.  After my seed implants for prostate cancer, on of the lovely side effects is that I shoot blanks.  Yep, that's right folks . . . . nothing come out.  TMI?  Just telling you like it is folks.

After this procedure, which wasn't as horrible as I feared, Bill took me down to the hotel where I work.  My co-worker Monica was going to loan me her crutches.  That's right folks, Ron is on crutches now.  

Me in the backseat of my car (the only way I can ride with this stiff leg - I did this once before in 1962 when I dislocated my right knee - I have experience)

I've never used crutches before and I wasn't sure I could but you know what?  I took right too it like a baby swimming. I only use the right crutch though.  That seems to work best for my bum left leg.

So this morning, the day after the Oscars, I would have normally written about my criticisms and hosannahs about the Oscars.  Hey, doesn't Lady Gaga have a wonderful singing voice?  And what was that "making it all about me" moment when Sean Penn

Sean "It's All About Me" Penn

announced the winner for best Oscar.  See HERE. I know many of the Hollywood celebrities have outsized egos but man oh man, Sean . . . . get over yourself.  It's not about you man. Go back to Haiti and get some more good-two shoe points.  And how about poor Reese? She didn't get her Oscar so maybe her "You'll soon know my name" (when her and her hubby were stopped for suspicion of DUI and she took great umbrage that a police officer would actually QUESTION HOLLYWOOD royalty - she of "do not make direct eye contact with me to the servants") attitude will diminish, ever so slightly one would hope.  Did you see that forced smile her hubby Jim Toth had after Julianne Moore won for Best Actress?   

Actually. . . . embarrassing. Can you say "Jumped the Shark?"

I didn't seen the beginning of the Oscars because I was busy feeling sorry for myself while watching to God awful Netflix rentals. My pal Pat reminded me.  I tuned in just in time to see Oscar Host Doogie Howser Neil Patrick Harris  in one of his oh so fashionable skinny suits (this one was a shiny maroon)

The ubiquitous SCARF that some male celebrities wear to the special events.  What's with THAT? What are they going to an art show afterwards?  I thought that's the only place where one was ALLOWED to wear The Scarf.

looking like a deer in the headlights doing his  Oscar hosting chores.  See HERE: By the way, what was that THING with former Oscar winner Olivia Spencer that Neil kept trying to make funny?  I felt sorry for Olivia, one classy lady.  Neil, I like you but you sure ain't Ellen.  What happen to Neil anyway?  He actually made James Flacko Franco look good as an Oscar host. Of course James won't be around as Oscar host anymore because he and Best Buddy Bromance Boyfriend Seth Rogan are too busy with their next ridiculous script for a totally stupid, asinine movie for which they will be paid millions.  Who sees their movies anyway?  Are we really that stupid in this country that ANYONE would pay to see those two clowns again?  But I digress.  See what you missed by me not writing about the Oscars last night.  I should have been Tweeting all along but I forgot that too.

Just one more thing about the Oscars:  don't you love it when some of these guys (and almost always, it's the guy who are so pretentious with their messy hairdos and scarves) get up there and ALWAYS thank their WIVES, KIDS and last night one self-important discoverer of polio vaccine even thank (are you sitting down?) HIS DOG!  I hope he was joke (probably wasn't).  

"The Green Card Son of a Bitch Guy" (according to Mr. Self Important Sean Penn) director accepting the award for Best Picture - "Birdman"

Oh I can't help myself, more Oscar comments.  Didn't Jennifer Anniston look great?  Hey, gay man here but Jen looked HOT!

Perfect Jen!

And the gay in my of course LOVED Lady Gaga's outfit.  

Okay folks, I had fun here.  I feel like my leg is getting better (yes, I switched lanes).  My orthopedic doctor will analyze the results of the MRI I had taken today and tell me of the damage and what I have to do.  

I do so hope I can get back to my regular routine soon.  My appointment with him is March 9th. I'm ready for some GOOD NEWS.

Medical Issues

The view from my doctor's office

I just can't seem to get off of this medical treadmill.  It seems like the past three months I can hardly go a week without a visit to the doctor.  This morning I visited my dermatologist to have a stitch removed from my left forearm.  Last Friday I had a small, wart-like growth removed from my arm.  Turns out that the growth was yet another case of actinic keratosis.

I've been going to a dermatologist at least once a year, sometimes twice a year since the early nineties when I first discovered a painful scaly patch on my face when I was shaving.  Turned out that my whole face was full of these little small keratosis spots.  To treat it I had to undergo topical chemotherapy which meant that I had to have the top layer of my facial skin burned off.  I remember that time well.  The treatment was VERY PAINFUL and I ended up with a red, RED face. I looked like I had the worst sunburn, ten times over.

I was told at that time by the dermatologist that I would have to be checked the rest of my life for this pre cancerous skin condition, every six months or every year.  Over the years I have had a lot of small patches of keratosis removed.  All those cases were mild cases.  This year is different.  I have had several cases of "medium" keratosis instead of the lightest cases I had in the past.  When that happens the doctor has to take out a bigger chunk of skin/meat.  The doctor said "something is going on."  Something ominous that I did not want to hear.

This was the information I received this morning.  It was not information I was expecting.  So I now have another appointment next Friday with my dermatologist to take another chunk out of me.

So what are we looking at here folks?  Three things:

• High PSA count - monitoring
• Irregular heartbeat - monitoring
• Pre cancer skin condition - treating

Sorry for the down posting.  Just reporting things like it is today in the Life of Ron.  

I'll try and think of something more upbeat in my next blog posting.  No more political rants for a while. 

Where Have I Been?

Bill, Mark and me at my brother's house in PA this past Sunday

Been busy folks!  I'm still trying to get my stuff together after all the activity of the past week.

Let's see, Sunday Bill and I traveled to Pennsylvania for my 53rd annual high school class reunion.  Yes folks, I graduated from Downingtown High School in June of 1959.  So I go to the class reunion and what do I see but a bunch of OLD PEOPLE!  Seems I'm the only one who hasn't changed.  I must be living right.  Believe that then I have a bridge in Brooklyn I want to sell to you.

Yes, I had a very good time at the reunion.  My friend and fellow blogger Mark of "Our Simple Lives" graciously acceded to my last minute request to come and take pictures of me and my fellow senior citizens while we traded stories about our medical conditions.  Mark took 518 pictures under difficult circumstances.  Our reunion was held at the Chicago Bar and Grill in Lionville, PA.  We were off to the side in a narrow room with a wall of backlight.  But even under those challenging circumstances Mark did a fabulous job of taking photos.  Thank you Mark!

Guess who is dominating the conversation at this table?

Bill and I had to get out of Pennsylvania to begin out 2 1/2 hour drive back to Delaware.  Neither one of us likes to drive in the dark.  We just made it through Newark, Delaware and all that road construction to hit Route 1 to home sweet home in Lower Slower, aka Sussex County, Delaware.  Once we hit Route 1, it's a straight shot to Casa Tipton-Kelly.

Wednesday, yesterday, I underwent my stress test at Cardiovascular Associates in Lewes.  I'm still recovering from that three hour ordeal.  Man oh man, talk about a stress test.  I was stressed when that was over.  I'm still exhausted from my TWO 20 minutes trips into the "tube" and the treadmill.  In addition I had all kinds of needles sticking out of the back of my right hand.  I'll write a separate blog posting about that fun time yesterday.  Now I hear I may have to get a catheterization.  THAT I hear is pretty invasive.

Yes, it hurt going in

After I had the stress test, Bill borrowed my car and visited my two long-time friends and to make amends for my blow-up in the parking lot last Saturday.  This was the first time Bill has seen them in over a year.  Bill agrees with me that both of them are pretty much in La La Land.  I don't have time for it.  Bill said the one who was on the receiving end of my fire-breathing dragon blast is going to call me.  I won't hold my breath.

I think I have the next few days off.  No doctor's appointments or fence mending.  I spent most of the morning sorting through the 518 pictures that Mark took of my class reunion.  I'm telling you folks, if any of you have an event where you need a good photographer, Mark is the person to hire.  He's good!

Mark - photographer and friend

Heart Monitor Part Deux

Well folks, I'm wearing the Holter (heart) monitor now.  I wish I had read Sean's suggestion that I shave some of my chest hairs before I had these electrodes strapped to my chest this morning.  As soon as I got up after Kim taped them to my chest, I could feel my chest hairs pulling.  Nice.

Then there was the problem of where do I put the wires leading to the monitor box?  In my fly or outside my fly?  I put it outside my fly.  I didn't want to be too suggestive to my fellow shoppers at Food Lion (where I went after the "installation").

Then I ran into another problem when I got home, going to the bathroom.  All those wires when I disassembled my clothing prior to "seating".  Oh, I sit for both No. 1 and No. 2, no splashing No. 1's around this house.

I just got up from my afternoon nap and managed not to get tangled in wires.  I still have the nighttime slumber to go through.

This thing comes off tomorrow morning.  Can't come soon enough.  Talk about an encumbrance.  This is annoying.  But, as some of my blog followers have noted it beats the alternative.

Visit to My Cardiologist

My heart doctor

This afternoon I visited my cardiologist.

Good news and bad news.

The good news is that he is very easy on the eyes.  No names here but I will post a photo.  He is also very knowledgeable and comforting which helps me a lot since I am venturing into unknown territory for me.  I was supposed to be the Healthy Brother, since both of my younger brothers have heart problems.  Both of them are overweight and exercise very little.  I'm not overweight (would like to lose that five pounds of inner tube around my middle though) and I get plenty of exercise.  This wasn't supposed to happen to me.

So here is the bad news.  I have an irregular heartbeat.  They don't know why.  They have set me up for a series of tests.  Stop reading now if you don't want to go to sleep because this is boring.  I'll try to make it as quick and painless as possible.

• 9/13/2012 - Echocardiogram
• 9/26/2012 - Cardiolite Stress Test
• 9/19/2012 - Miscelaneous Monitor Recorder Tet
• 12/04/2012 - Vascular Testing

So that's it folks. I'll get back to my regular, snarky posts next time around.  Thought I would bring you all up to date on my medical condition.

Brush with Pneumonia

Thursday, April 9th is when the symptoms of my first major cold since 2001 began showing up. The usual suspects; chest congestion, clogged sinuses, coughing, runny nose, and body aches all over. Ironically just days before I was bragging I never get colds. Well, I can no longer make that brag. This time I got the worst cold I ever had in my life. In fact, it was so bad that, for the first time in my life, I went to the doctor.

After four days of trying to sleep the cold off and only seeing it get progressively worse, I called my doctor and made an emergency appointment. Of course the day I decided to go out it is cold, windy and rainy. Then I go to my doctor’s office, which is called The Clinic by the Sea and I find it has moved. Thus I had to wander around in the wind, rain and cold trying to figure out how to get in her new office. I find her office and await the good doctor.

She asked me my symptoms. Then, as if on cue, I cough up a hunk of green phlegm. She looks on with horror at the ugly mucus and says “You’re seriously ill. I commend you for walking into my office instead of waiting to go to the emergency room.” She examines me and suspects that I have pneumonia in my left lung. She writes out a prescription for Levaquin 500 mg tablets, which is an antibiotic for pneumonia. She then tells me to get a chest x-ray to determine if, in fact, I do have pneumonia.

I go back out in the wind, rain and cold. Thank goodness Bill was driving. I could not have driven myself. I was too lightheaded (more so than usual.) Bill takes me to the Beebe Medical Campus off of Rt. 24. They take several chest x-ray pictures. I then go to Wal-Mart to fill my prescription. The Wal-Mart in Rehoboth doesn’t have a pharmacy department. Only the super Wal-Marts have a pharmacy. I forgot I do live in Lower Slower. Back out in the wind, rain, and cold. I stumble over to Eckerd’s to get my prescription filled. The doctor had warned me that it would be expensive. For 10 tablets, the cost would be $154.75. Okay. That’s expensive. I normally get my prescriptions filled through the Wilmington Veterans Administration but there was no way I could wait three days while my prescription request traveled through that bureaucratic maze.

I called my doctor for a less expensive alternative. She said that the Beebe Medical campus had called and said that I didn’t have pneumonia……yet. Thus I wouldn’t need the Levaquin. The doctor instead prescribed Augmentin. For 10 tablets, the cost was $41.98. I purchased the Augmentin and was on my way.

When I got home I took the first of my two tablets a day. Before I went to bed last night I took my second tablet. Last night about 2:30 am I woke up in a cold sweat. My T-shirt was soaked. But, this was good. For the first time in a week I felt normal. I could breath. I had an appetite. My head didn’t feel like I was walking underwater. I was going to live another day to stir the Pot of Life. I changed T-shirts and went back to bed, thankful that I had my health back.

Since I’ve been sick I haven’t been on my computer. That’s how you know I am really sick when I’m not on my computer. This morning I got on for the first time in two days. I updated my Face book account, checked my e-mails, and checked my on line banking. Ironically, I noticed that the Census Bureau has made the deposit for my one week’s employment with them to my checking account. This made me think of what a mess I would have been in if I had continued to work for the Census Bureau. The Census Bureau told us that we were not to let bad weather deter us from working. What with the rain, wind and cold of the past two weeks and my march towards pneumonia I’m just thankful that this story appears to have a happy ending. My only concern now is that I think I’ve used up the last of my nine lives.

My Trip to the VA

Four-thirty a.m. came around early this morning. I knew I had to get up early so, of course, I was awake at 3:10 a.m. I slept in fits and starts until my radio alarm clock sounded the alarm, “BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!” I rolled out of bed, wash, shaved, did my morning exercises (to get my blood flowing), and ate my breakfast. By this time 5:25 a.m. had arrived and Bill was ready to drive me to liquor store at Rts. 1 and 5, where the American Legion Post 28 van would pick me up. Out of the house into the dark cold air, I climbed into Bill’s ancient Jeep. Ten minutes later we were at the pick up point. Another veteran was waiting there in his car. About 20 minutes later the van arrives. Only the driver and a World War II submarine veteran who was riding shotgun were in the van. Usually the van is full. But, this morning three vets cancelled and one was a no show. The other vet and I climbed in behind the driver and the submarine vet. Right away I made a mistake. I was behind the driver and he had his seat all the way back. I have long legs. The ride to Wilmington is a good hour away. My long legs would be cramped. They were. Plus, I didn’t have an arm rest. My ride to the V A Medical Center in Wilmington was very uncomfortable. I tried to take nap on the way up, to make up for lost sleep time. All I accomplished was more fitful sleep. Arriving at the VA building in Wilmington, it was now daylight. The air was still cold. I made my way up to Room 2115 for my 9 a.m. appointment for my CAT-RAD scan. I checked in at the desk. The receptionist told me to take a seat. First I had to drink five full glasses of water. One hour prior to the CAT-RAD scan I was given instructions to drink all this water. I knew this would be a problem. I just don’t drink that much water. That is why I have kidney stones, which is why I was getting a CAT-RAD scan today. I brought my own plastic glass with me. I went out in the hallway and positioned my glass under the water fountain. One glass I gulped down. Already I had enough. I drank another glass of water. I’m bloated now. Three more glasses to go. I turned the fountain on again and filled my glass. Gulp! Now I’m getting nauseous. I walked up and down the hall, sloshing all the way. The time was only 7:45 a.m. so I had a while to go. I waited about 15 minutes then took another gulp of water. Oh my God. I’m about to float away. I only had one more to go. I steeled myself and filled my plastic glass up again and chug a lugged it down. Now I’m sick. I wobbled into the waiting room. As I passed the receptionist, she told me I had to go downstairs to get my “labs.” That’s VA talk for a blood test. Lightheaded, I headed for the elevator, got on, and got off the first floor. Checking in with that receptionist, I scanned my VA identification card. The VA is very organized. All a vet has to do is scan their card and their name comes up on the monitor and appointment information. So much better than private medical practice where it seems as if the front desk is run by bored clerical staff. My appointments at the VA are ALWAYS on time. There is none of the practice of making appointments for all patients at 10 a.m. in the morning or 2 p.m. in the afternoon. “Tipton?” My name was called. Rising, I follow the pleasant young lady around the corner and take a seat in a barber type chair and roll up my right sleeve. We exchanged pleasantries. She checks my arm for a vein. Pleased, she said “You have nice veins.” Thank you. She swabs my vein and takes the needle out, aiming for my vein. I look away. I can’t stand the sight of my own blood. If I see it, I’ll be on the floor. It’s happened before. I don’t want a repeat. “There! That’s done.” It was painless. I complimented her on her skill in not hurting me. Rolling down my sleeve, I left. Back to Room 2115 and the waiting room. Nine o’clock rolled around. The technician came out and called my name. I go into a room off to the side. He tells me to take off my shirt and lie down on a bed type contraption protruding out of the CAT Scan tube. I get on the bed (I’ll call it a “bed” for lack of a better word.) He puts a sheet over me and asks me to pull my pants down around my knees. He goes for my right arm again. I’m going to get an IV. Oh uh. He gets this BIG needle out and compliments me on my vein. “Nice veins” he says. Then he punctures it. OUCH! Damn. That hurt. He says “You have tough skin.” Funny, I thought I was thin skinned. Oh well. He tries again. WOW! THAT HURT! He says this time “Your vein rolled.” What’s that? My vein rolled? I've been rolled before but I don't recall ever having my vein rolled. Then he punctures me again. It is really hurting now. What is this guy, a sadist? I’m beginning to feel like a pin cushion. I noticed that he didn’t swab my skin with an anesthetic. What’s this? Was he bored? He didn’t seem too happy. Finally he got the IV in my vein. It was about time. And or course, it hurt the whole time it was in. Then we went through taking the CAT-RAD scan. In the tube, hold my breath, exit the tube, let my breath out. Three times I did this. Now it was time to take out the IV tube. Oh boy. More hurt. I probably sound like a baby don’t I? I think I have a pretty high pain threshold. But, I don’t know. I was punctured quite a few times this morning. I wouldn’t be good under torture. I would probably be the first to spill the beans then some. Finally, it was over. I pulled my pants up, took the sheet off, and left. I thanked the technician but on reflection, I wonder why. I’m not sure if he was all that good at administering needles. I expected my arm to be bruised. Looking at it now all I see is four puncture marks. It looks like I had a run in with Dracula and I put up my arm to ward him off and he missed and got my arm instead. Well, it’s all done now. The ride back was uneventful. About an hour after I returned home, I heard a knock at my door. It was the UPS man. He arrived with my new Dell computer. I’m working tomorrow at the Inn (still no guests) so I will have to wait until Friday to assemble all the parts. Damn, that needle hurt.